Make Mine a Double Feature

Gosling and Dacascos, finally driving together!

What did we just watch? This boozehound is gonna marry a robot for money!

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We got a fever, and the only cure is talking about movies with Christopher Walken in them. Ellen tells Robert about the time Johnny Depp had to do some assassinating, and Robert tells Ellen about a time Alicia Silverstone did some self-abducting. And we're telling the tales in our Untrue Crime style, so stare out an unlocked window into the black night and have a listen.

Not all sports have balls in them, and this time we're talking about a couple of movies that show how stupid that can be. Ellen tells Robert about the piece of puck sequel to Goon, and Robert tells Ellen about the easy come, easy go conflicts of a Van Damme dud. Bloody the ice and kick a box. It's time for Synopsish.

We're finally getting around to watching some iconic movies this time on Synopsish. Ellen tells Robert the story of a down-on-his-luck boxer who yo, Adrians his way into a high-profile fight. Robert tells Ellen about a human stone who stonefaces his way through 20 years of prison with nary a wrinkle. And we're telling those stories in diary entries from Rocky, Apollo Creed, a bird, and more.

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We play a game of telephone with two movies that are, coincidentally, about telephones. Robert tells Ellen -- and Ellen tells Robert -- the tale of a time-traveling babysitter who refuses to check the British children even though there's a coffee-lover on the loose. Kind of. Then Ellen tells Robert -- and vice versa -- the wire-crossing story of a person in LA on a cellphone, which was intriguing in 2004. You know, if you're listening on a certain device, things are getting really phony. PUN!

We each watched a movie that started with Z, and now we're telling each other the stories as if the movies were about children. Kind of like the Muppet Babies or A Pup Named Scooby-Doo, except this time the little tykes are dealing with cooties on a playground and a nasty practical joker. Ellen tells Robert about the low-budget, hour-long Zombies of Carnage, and Robert tells Ellen about lil Davey Fincher's epic about the uncaught Zodiac.

We're telling Marvel movies backwards. Robert hasn't seen many movies in the MCU, so he started at the beginning with Iron Man, the story of a guy who starts out wanting to be a superhero but ends up a weapons-manufacturing womanizer. Ellen revisits Captain America: Civil War to tell the story of how the Avengers go from prison to self-governed hero gang with the help of some mind control.

It's time for that New Year's tradition: not going to the gym and watching movies that almost starred someone named Jim instead. Ellen tells Robert about weird old movie that almost starred Jimmy Stewart, and Robert tells Ellen about a magical chocolate maker nobody's ever heard of: Willy Wonka. Grab the rest of the champagne and enjoy.