Make Your Damn Bed

invisible work—a term coined by sociologist Arlene Kaplan Daniels to describe work that goes unpaid, unacknowledged, and thus, unregulated—is often overlooked and underpaid. it is taxing to be expected to perform invisible labor day in and day out. The first step in overcoming these unregulated expectations, is to make the invisible labor visible.

RESOURCE: https://time.com/charter/6317237/how-to-end-the-unfairness-of-invisible-work/

RESOURCE 2: https://synd.io/blog/invisible-labor-in-the-workplace/

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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The mental load, also known as: Invisible labor, managing a life, managing a household, cognitive work, emotional labor, scheduling, shopping lists, etc. is never ending, invisible, and boundary-less. So, we need to make a conscious choice with how we take ownership of it. Otherwise, it'll take ownership of us.

RESOURCES: https://www.uclahealth.org/news/article/mental-load-what-it-and-how-manage-it#:~:text=What%20is%20mental%20load%3F,add%20to%20your%20total%20load.

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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all oppression is connected. get involved and speak up.

RESOURCE: https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Confronting_Tyranny#Responding_to_Tyrants:

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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From Wikipedia: This digital movement functions as an online community where women engage in open discussion about navigating and envisioning a future without men. It serves as a platform for women to vent their frustrations and concerns about living in a conservative society while fostering a sense of solidarity. Additionally, the platform aims to motivate and inspire women to protest against dating, engaging in sexual relationships, getting married, and having children. Through a robust social media presence, the movement seeks to raise awareness and recruit more advocates to amplify its impact.

RESOURCES: https://twentythirdstation.wordpress.com/2016/01/25/%EB%AF%B8%ED%98%BC-mihon-vs-%EB%B9%84%ED%98%BC-bihon-word-of-the-day/ 

https://www.thecut.com/2023/03/4b-movement-feminism-south-korea.html 

https://www.goodgoodgood.co/articles/4b-movement 

https://maracas-cod-ecag.squarespace.com/flowers-of-fire

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The 4B movement in South Korea is a feminist initiative that emerged around 2019 and has recently gained significant attention on social media platforms like TikTok. The movement is rooted in rejecting traditional gender norms and roles that are prevalent in South Korean society, which is often criticized for its patriarchal values and systemic misogyny.

The term "4B" stands for four principles:

1. Bihon - No heterosexual marriage
2. Bichulsan - No childbirth
3. Biyeonae - No dating men
4. Bisekseu - No heterosexual sexual relationships

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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Setting boundaries is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and preserving one's well-being. Dr. Brené Brown, a research professor and author, emphasizes the importance of boundaries, stating, "Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others." By establishing clear boundaries, individuals can communicate their needs and expectations effectively, reducing the likelihood of resentment and conflict.

One example of the importance of setting boundaries can be seen in the workplace. Research conducted by the American Psychological Association found that employees who have difficulty setting boundaries with their colleagues are more likely to experience higher levels of stress and job dissatisfaction. Employers play a crucial role in fostering a culture that values work-life balance and respects employees' boundaries.

In personal relationships, boundaries are essential for maintaining mutual respect and understanding. Dr. Henry Cloud, a clinical psychologist, observes, "Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me." When individuals fail to assert their boundaries, they may find themselves in one-sided relationships where their needs are consistently overlooked. This imbalance can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration.

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

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 Setting boundaries is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and preserving one's well-being. Dr. Brené Brown, a research professor and author, emphasizes the importance of boundaries, stating, "Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others." By establishing clear boundaries, individuals can communicate their needs and expectations effectively, reducing the likelihood of resentment and conflict.

One example of the importance of setting boundaries can be seen in the workplace. Research conducted by the American Psychological Association found that employees who have difficulty setting boundaries with their colleagues are more likely to experience higher levels of stress and job dissatisfaction. Employers play a crucial role in fostering a culture that values work-life balance and respects employees' boundaries.

In personal relationships, boundaries are essential for maintaining mutual respect and understanding. Dr. Henry Cloud, a clinical psychologist, observes, "Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me." When individuals fail to assert their boundaries, they may find themselves in one-sided relationships where their needs are consistently overlooked. This imbalance can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration.

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

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Overall, while people-pleasers may not intend to manipulate others, their behavior can inadvertently perpetuate manipulative dynamics in relationships. By recognizing the underlying motives and consequences of people-pleasing behavior, we can work towards establishing healthier boundaries, fostering genuine communication, and cultivating more authentic and fulfilling relationships.

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

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 Overall, while people-pleasers may not intend to manipulate others, their behavior can inadvertently perpetuate manipulative dynamics in relationships. By recognizing the underlying motives and consequences of people-pleasing behavior, we can work towards establishing healthier boundaries, fostering genuine communication, and cultivating more authentic and fulfilling relationships.

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

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In our modern society, time dictates so much of our lives, the ticking of the clock underscores our routines. There is always a sense of urgency for some sort of deadline looming over our heads, whether self-inflicted or fantastical, the fear of time passing us by is always there. We are taught to parcel out our days into tidy increments of hours, minutes, and seconds, striving to make the most of every fleeting moment, and ashamed if we don’t or can’t. However, this relentless pursuit of productivity often leaves us feeling stressed and overwhelmed, as if we are constantly racing against an invisible clock. There's this inherent sense that we need to utilize every single second of every single day in order to achieve the highest heights and every second “lost” is a second wasted. 

But what if time is not as rigid as we perceive it to be? What if, instead of bending to the demands of the relentless march of time, we could learn to embrace the fluidity of it and actually begin to intentionally savor each passing moment? This idea may seem counterintuitive in a world that prizes efficiency and speed, but there is wisdom to be found in slowing down and paying attention to the subtle rhythms of life. As I get older I find so much beauty in the mundane, the boring, the tedious. 

Start noticing who you're around when time begins to fly. Notice what you're doing when you lose track of time and stop thinking you're late for something. In life, your timeline is different from everyone else's because it's supposed to be. Relax, trust that everything is coming in divine timing. What is meant for you will not pass you. In the meantime, try to enjoy the experience that is the roller coaster of times—those moments that feel like days, and those days that feel like moments—because even though the time is passing, either way, you are not late for anything.

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

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