Making Space for Conversations That Matter with Laura Prisc

Today, Laura dives deep into a conversation about navigating transitions, understanding mental health, and exploring other perspectives with Retired Command Chief Master Sergeant, USAF, Lefford Fate. Laura and Lefford first met when both were serving on the Presidential Advisory Council of the John Maxwell Team, and the two have shared numerous interesting and meaningful conversations over the years.

When Laura asks Lefford to tell the story of how he ended up in prison, Lefford jumps right in, but quickly steps back to offer a little perspective. As a young man in the US Air Force, working in the mental health field already, he explained how he nearly lost himself when his mom passed away at the very young age of 49. He was able to get the help and support he needed to grieve and go through his loss but found himself in a similar place years later when his father passed. His Commanding Officer, a Psychiatrist, acknowledged all Lefford was going through and asked if he needed help, and Lefford was afraid to admit that he did; the stigma of any type of mental illness was strong then and persists today.

After he retired from the Air Force, Lefford recounts how he was working in a Geriatric Mental Health Facility in Sumter, SC, when he received a call from the Corrections System to come do some work in the prisons. He says he quickly realized he had no idea what was going on… inmates were dying at an alarming rate and many of them were mentally ill.

He tells the story of a particular inmate who was in prison as a result of having been taken advantage of by others who recognized his mental deficiency (he was in his 30's but with the intellectual capacity of a 9-year old, not really able to understand that what they were telling him to do was wrong, nor aware of the consequences of his actions). This young man's condition was deplorable, and he'd not had his medication for some time. This experience was heart-wrenching, eye-opening, and shocking, and it set Lefford on a path toward understanding why things were the way they were and what could be done to make change.

As they discuss the current state of mental health, resiliency, and suicide rates, Laura and Lefford make a few shifts in the course of their conversation, digging into potential causes – fear of being ostracized, ridiculed, excluded or labeled as "less-than," resistance to being or feeling vulnerable, and the unknown of what may come next if you tell the truth about how you're feeling or your mental state.

They consider the idea of shifting perspective and language toward building 'mental wealth,' similarly to how we now think about focus on one's overall physical health with a view toward prevention and maintenance. Lefford shares some insight gleaned through Malcolm Gladwell's research for his bestseller, Blink, which explains how we instantaneously and subconsciously make assessments about situations we find ourselves in and react to. This makes sense from a first-responder perspective, when you may not know what you're really walking into… but there is training available to help our first responders have a clearer perspective and make better situational decisions.

Moving on to the idea of "no one is the worst thing they've ever done," Lefford and Laura share stories and discuss the need for grace, compassion, and thinking into the potential consequences of one's actions is an invaluable practice, and one we need to be helping our young people learn. Lefford introduces the concept of getting in front of things – more thinking on the front end before acting – rather than playing catch-up and trying to fix things after the fact.

Lefford shares his belief that every single one of us is in some form of transition at any given moment and we each need some grace, some compassion, and some mercy. He encourages Laura – and listeners – to be helpful and ask for help when you need it. One in five (1:5) people struggle with mental illness and 2-3 of them are under some major stress right now – regardless of age, race, culture, religion, income or wealth – and we have to shift our perspective on how we see, interpret, and handle these issues if we want to change what's going on in the world.

As they close their conversation, Lefford shares a recent insight he learned from Motivational Speaker and Teacher, Bo Eason, who says "we are afraid of being great – of allowing ourselves to claim we want to be the best in the world at ____________ (fill in the blank with your heart's desire)." Laura explains her belief about fear of vulnerability and how she is working to teach the concept of Confident Vulnerability and uses a tool she's developed called Your Unique Lens.

About Lefford Fate

Professionally, Command Chief Master Sergeant (Ret) Fate has led, mentored, and served thousands of military members and their

families. He spent nearly 31 years in the US Air Force. Lefford served as Command Chief for the 20th Fighter Wing at Shaw Air Force Base in Sumter, SC, as the lead advisor and mentor for 5,000 personnel in 19 squadrons and tenant units operating at 85 F-16 planes. Prior to that post, he served as the Command Chief for the 505th Command and Control Wing in Hulbert Field, Florida. He is a past recipient of the Meritorious Service Medal with 4 devices, the Air Force Commendation Medal with 1 device, the Air Force Achievement Medal/ Meritorious Unit Award, the USAF Outstanding Unit Award with Valor and 6 devices, the Air Force Recognition Ribbon/Numerous Campaign Medals for service in Southwest

Asia and Global War on Terrorism, the SNCO of the Year, and the Mental Health SNCO of the Year (Europe). Since retiring from the military, he was the program director for a geriatric mental health program, Director for Health Services for the SC Department of Corrections and is currently the Director, Support Services City of Sumter. He is a best-selling Author who co-authored a book called Success Starts Today with Jack Canfield, and Pathways to a Positive Mental Attitude with Don Green. His TEDx Charleston (SC) talk on Correcting Corrections has over 500,000 views. With all those accolades, he says his greatest accomplishments are being a husband, father, and grandfather.

www.leffordfate.com

https://www.facebook.com/lefford.fate

When Laura and Linda first met, at an event several years ago in Florida, Laura was surprised to hear Linda was leading the Leprosy Mission Scotland. She, like many others, had been under the impression leprosy had been eradicated; upon discovering that was not the case, Laura became curious and engaged Linda in today's conversation about her work and what's happening with the disease.

Over the course of this conversation, the women cover a number of topics including the vision for the organization's future work, what can be accomplished when a group of passionate people come together focused on a common cause, why developing yourself and your people is the key to success, and how self-care feeds everything!

Linda has been with the Leprosy Mission Scotland for 21 years, starting as its Executive Director and growing into the organization's CEO. In her role, she travels the world to connect with colleagues, raise funds, evaluate the organization's operations, and meet with and learn the stories of the people who have been diagnosed with this disease.

Like so many others, Linda learned the hard way that self-care is required if you have any intention of being productive, effective, and having any kind of staying power in whatever role you play. The pervasive thinking that putting in long hours, always putting the business first, is some kind of 'badge of honor,' is nonsense in Linda's experience.

"God designed us to take time out for rest and relaxation, to enjoy the splendor and wonder of his creation," she explained. "We plan down time for machines and maintenance of equipment and systems, but not for ourselves."

It's with this perspective that she is leading her organization and has built that mindset into her culture. Her team does not work when they are on holiday, and the understanding is that if you leave a message or send an email to someone who is out of the office for this purpose, you won't get a response until they return to work.

"I use humor to get this message across," said Linda. "My 'out of office' message is in the voice of my laptop, explaining in a Reply email that 'Linda went on holiday and left me here in the office…'" Her focus on connecting with and attending to the needs of the people in her work and life are evident in her practices and communication.

Linda educates Laura on the current state of Leprosy, how many people are diagnosed with it daily (the number is staggering if you stop to think about it), the mindset issues associated with contracting and treating the disease, and what the Leprosy Mission is striving to achieve: Leprosy defeated and Lives Transformed.

Listen in as Linda shares her insights about inspiring her team – "People are keen to be part of a winning team and they want to make a powerful impact." She speaks to the idea of and focus on working herself and her colleagues out of a job when the disease is no longer an active health issue. And how she's invested in her own personal growth and the intentional development of not only her team, but her colleagues in the other Leprosy Mission organizations around the world.

In the end, Linda says she wants her epitaph to read: "She made a real difference." As you listen in on today's conversation, I'm sure you'll agree, Linda Todd has already made a real difference and continues to do so.

About Linda Todd

Linda is the Country Leader and CEO of The Leprosy Mission Scotland. She joined TLMS as Executive Director in March 1998. Linda has extensive leadership, fundraising, coaching and management experience gained from over three decades of working in the Voluntary Sector and continual professional development. She is a Diploma-qualified member of the Institute of Fundraising, a Chartered member of CIPD, and a John Maxwell authorized Coach and Speaker. Under Linda's leadership, TLMS holds Investors in People Platinum. She plays an active role within the Global Fellowship, currently chairing the Member Review Working group; a member of the TLM Trust India Board, and the reference group for the Leadership Development Program. Linda also plays an active role within Scotland through various umbrella-organizations – The Scottish International Development Alliance and the Institute of Fundraising Scotland.

She lives on the south side of Glasgow where she attends Auldhouse Community Church. Other areas of service include the position of Treasurer for Glasgow Street Pastors and a member of Thornliebank Community Council. Other than her faith, her three great passions are her pug, Carletto (who thinks he's another member of the staff team), her bolt-hole in the East Neuk of Fife, and The Leprosy Mission Scotland, though not necessarily always in that order!

The Leprosy Mission Scotland

Warning: This episode touches on the topics of prostitution, drug addiction, and human trafficking – subjects that aren't suitable for young people.

Laura first became aware of Judge Herbert when she attended the Global Leadership Summit in 2018; there was a short video during the Summit with Judge Herbert talking about his work in CATCH Court in Columbus, Ohio. She was intrigued by a story he shared about a conversation with his daughters about finding one's Purpose in life… and then elaborated on the work he's doing.

Judge Herbert explains that he'd gone through the book The Purpose Driven Life several times and had been frustrated, as he'd not felt as if he'd found his purpose. Then he was teaching his daughters and taking them through the book a chapter a week on Sunday evenings. This was frustrating, as well, as one of his daughters seemed determined to undermine the process. When he asked her why, she said it wasn't a good study and she put him on the spot, asking what his purpose was.

Judge Herbert recounts stumbling through his response about his work on the bench, as a Judge… and hoping it was good enough. Later that night, as he prepared for bed, he prayed for guidance, asking "God, how can I serve you better? What's my purpose?" He says after that, "things started happening."

As a Municipal Court Judge, Judge Herbert oversaw domestic violence cases in his courtroom. He tells the story of one day in court, there were 36 cases brought before him and all of them women who looked broken and lost. The stories of their existence told through the bruises, cuts, burns, and handprints on their faces and bodies; and the men associated with their cases professing their innocence and explaining how it was all "their" (the woman's) fault…

Then one woman came before him who had been arrested for prostitution and he looked closely at her and wondered why she looked like the other women – the victims of domestic violence? This drove him to do some research into the backgrounds of women arrested for prostitution and he began to see them differently and to ask different questions.

Laura reminds him of a previous conversation they'd had, where he explained shifting from thinking: "What did you do?" – what did they do to get arrested and land in his courtroom, to thinking: "What happened to you?" – what happened in your life that brought you here today?

He says it was a big shift in his brain to change his thinking and begin to recognize the trauma these women and girls have experienced. He learned to understand that in their lives, no one, no place, nothing is safe. He began to really recognize their fear and how, because of it, they will completely shut down, which means they aren't open to help.

This new understanding sparked recognition that there was opportunity to treat them differently and create a different kind of court system for them, similar to approaches taken with persons who have mental health disorders, drug addiction, and even military veterans. Courts had been experiencing better outcomes in those arenas, so he believed he could change the way human trafficking victims are handled in the legal system.

In alignment with a bible verse, CATCH Court was born:

"22You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." (Ephesians 4:22-24 -- NIV)

CATCH stands for "Changing Actions to Change Habits," and the women who go through this 2-year probation process have the opportunity, support, and resources to release the habits of whom they used to be and to become a healthy, new version of themselves. They have a safe place to live, surrounded by safe and supportive people. They have access to drug and alcohol addiction treatment, group Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Trauma Treatments.

Laura notes that the work the Judge is doing is similar to how she defines leadership, in terms of influence. She says every single person has the opportunity to influence at least four people each day, and that number is likely much higher than only four! Influence may be as simple as where two people go for lunch on any given day, to bigger things like problem solving, beginning a new project, and changing people's lives. CATCH Court is changing so many peoples' lives and the implications and ripple effect is much deeper and farther reaching than likely any of them imagine. Lives are literally being saved, families reunited, and significant change is in motion.

Judge Herbert explains that many of these women and girls become drug addicts to numb themselves from the screaming they hear in their heads, which comes from the early sexual traumas they've been subjected to by people they should have been able to trust. Not one of them comes into the life of drug addiction, prostitution, or being trafficked by choice. He also stresses that regardless of where you live, human trafficking is happening, likely even within a mile or two of your home!

He dispels the thinking that human trafficking and prostitution are different, with the latter being less horrific, citing a statistic that 92% of the women in the sex trade are trafficked. They've been sold into it – often by family members, or by people (men mostly) taking advantage of a drug addiction or helping to create a drug addiction to keep them enslaved in the business. These women and girls are literally transported and flown to cities around the nation, especially when there are big sporting events, large conventions, and conferences… and you could find them in every hotel, airport, and conference center you see.

He now articulates his purpose as being here "to see and change the dialogue about how women are and have been treated since the beginning of time." He clarifies that prostitution is not the oldest "profession" in the world, rather it is the oldest "oppression" in the history of the world. He feels driven to really look at people and truly "see" who they are and what they've been through, rather than taking the easier and more common path of judging and condemning.

To learn more about the work Judge Herbert is doing in CATCH Court, check out these links:

www.catchcourt.org

caught in Columbus

Channel 10 Presents CATCH Court

Making a big life change is today's topic. Laura's guest, Kyle Heeter, shares her personal story of finding work she loved, falling out of love with it, and eventually making her way into new work she loves, again! During the course of this conversation, Laura and Kyle examine their beliefs about what is possible for all of us. Be sure to listen to the end, or you'll miss a fascinating discussion about energy healing.

Kyle shares how she loved nursing but didn't feel like she was making the connection with people she wanted. She decided to stop and listen to what she really wanted. It wasn't easy to admit to herself that she was anxious and nervous. She struggled to figure out how to leave a job she didn't like.

A health scare helped her make the change. A second time, she had a knee injury that helped her realize she wasn't happy and had to leave that job. Lesson learned: It takes time. Paying attention to your emotions isn't easy, and often can feel confusing. But it's worth the effort.

Making a change is healing and a significant part of the journey. Even (maybe especially) when know you have to make the change, but don't always know exactly what's to come.

What do you do when your comfort zone is no longer comfortable? Kyle shares how she's learned to recognize the discomfort for what it's saying to her. Her tips are sure to help you, too.

Taking time to be still and listen is key to paying attention. Today's culture doesn't always reward inward work and the decision to slow down and listen.

What do we do when we realize that some of our long-held beliefs aren't right for us? It's powerful to acknowledge and taking small steps can help you get shed what no longer fits. Subtle, small changes count and often lead to major transformation.

We can all relate about having confidence when we make changes. We want to feel good about it, but often worry that others may not understand. Kyle shares a personal story about how she was able to move past the fear.

Kyle shares her journey to becoming an energy healer and what it's like to work with her. Part of her process is evaluating what the energy of your body is saying. She can then help to clear out energy areas and allow a flow of better energy.

It's a process of opening to universal energy.

Contact Kyle:

Website

Email

Resources:

Atomic Habits by James Clear

The Field by Lynn McTaggart

The Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton

About Kyle:

Kyle Heeter has worked as an RN/BSN in intensive care, emergency room, and family practice clinics for 20 years. Today, she is a Healing Touch Practitioner providing energy work both on-site and long distance through her private practice, Shift Energy Work.

Kyle has found her passion for healing in providing heart-centered, intuitive, and holistic energy work. She believes that with mindful intention, we can change our vibrational patterns and habitual responses in order to become whole and that we each have the potential and power to consciously participate in the process of awareness, change, and growth.

She lives in Fayetteville, West Virginia, with her husband and two incredible children.

Laura and Sheri have a great story about how they met. It demonstrates how simple things can and do make an impact.

Sheri shares her story and how she literally crashed and could not wake up! She had her "dream job" but realized she had a great career, not a great life.

"Stop spending 100% of your time on 10% of your life!"

How do we make that change? How do I stop spending my life focused on just 10% all the time?

In her book, Exponential Living, Sheri outlines the 9 Principles she discovered that allowed her – and will allow you – to live a peaceful life, while continuing to live exponentially.

In her conversation with Laura, Sheri outlines the 3 core tenets that helped her make that change:

• Pursue Peace – that's where your power lives
• Choose Clarity – ideas can develop, and
• Live Courageously – embracing what you are here to do

A key factor to success: Committing to consistency. She explains the difference between committing to the goal or committing to consistency and why it can hold us back.

She also outlines 3 steps to break up with inconsistency! It isn't about doing more or being better at time management. Her process helps you make real change.

Every moment is the opportunity to make a new choice. We can start fresh and stack the cards in our favor.

Sheri explains how she dealt with her fear and depression. As a result of her own experience, she is now on a mission to help others keep their cup full.

Peace is the new success

Laura and Sheri wrap up with learning to celebrate. It's part of filling up your own cup and recognizing when it is time to recharge.

About Sheri

For over 17 years, Sheri served as Founder and Chief Partnership Strategist of GLUE® Inc, (www.glueinc.com) a strategic consulting firm committed to "developing profitable partnerships for products and personalities".

The company's client list included blue chip businesses, professional athletes, nonprofit organizations and celebrities like: CVS/pharmacy, BMW, T-Mobile, Atlanta Hawks, NBA Entertainment, Porsche, Alonzo Mourning Charities, The Ludacris Foundation, BET Networks, Chevy, WNBA, Turner Network Television (TNT), Converse, NIKE, and many more.

Prior to launching my business, I created and executed innovative marketing campaigns that led to sales of over 30 million albums worldwide for Toni Braxton, TLC, Usher, and Outkast.

Connect with Sheri:

Exponential Living Community

Instagram

LinkedIn

YouTube

Paul shares the concept of the 'disorienting dilemma.' It's what happens when we aren't taking the steps for what we want to be, do, or have, even when we are very focused on what we want and the changes we'd like to see. Hear how he outlines the 3 key components:

• Known vs Unknown
• Future Negatives
• Immunity to Change

Laura gets some great advice about something she's been resisting. Paul outlines a key question that can help all of us get to the source of the resistance we are experiencing.

Paul explains how we can learn to listen to our mind and body to get the answers we need using our non-conscious resources. This is a game-changer!

The discussion about recognizing habitual problem-solving modes is a great first step to shifting your mindset.

Paul shares several ways that we can access our non-conscious mind for answers and solutions. They are fascinating and practical steps that anyone can use.

Learn how to access your Guardians of Change (Heart, Mind, and Will) so they can become your Guardians for Change. This is fascinating work that anyone can do if you are willing to make space for that conversation.

The conversation within can be one of the most important. Having a trusted listener can help us create a safe space to explore and get new insights.

Resources:

MIT Dialogue Project

Website

About Paul

Paul R. Scheele, Ph.D., is the CEO of Scheele Learning Systems, a company dedicated to helping leaders create more brilliant results through transformative learning. His expertise in human development, leadership, and transformational change has influenced leaders around the world for more than 35 years. Dr. Scheele's programs in accelerated learning, problem solving, creativity, communications, and leadership development have been used by individuals and organizations worldwide. He is the author of the bestselling books, PhotoReading, Natural Brilliance, and Drop Into Genius.

Dr. Scheele is also the founding partner of Learning Strategies Corporation, a premier publisher of personal development programs. His published work includes over 70 learning programs that have been translated into more than 19 languages and purchased by enthusiastic clients in 185 countries.

Laura speaks with guest Stephen K. De Silva. He is on a mission to end poverty. He explains how he has discovered the secret to understanding the root cause of poverty and the way to see it eradicated in our lifetime.

He sees money as a spiritual power. As such, money exaggerates what people believe, in either lack or abundance. Much of the financial training we receive is skills-based. Stephen wants to add the belief work to the skills training so old behaviors and habits don't return.

Be sure to find out the three things that affect our money mindset. This applies to all of us, regardless of our personal means.

We often use money as a way to develop a persona. It is used to make what we believe about ourselves show up in our lives. Stephen explains how that can be positive and affirming or defeating.

Hear how you can use your energy to exaggerate the positive aspects of financial energy.

The discussion of core beliefs will help you understand how each of us has developed a set of financial beliefs. Some are likely positive, and others may be beliefs that work against our best interests.

Stephen shares how past clients have been able to discover where and how their limiting beliefs around money began. This will help you understand how to discover your beliefs about money and change them to serve you now.

Learn how this can be generational and how you can break the cycle.

Laura and Stephen talk about freedom and liberty and how to understand the difference between the two. It will help you recognize your options and how to make the best choices.

The episode ends with a short blessing from Stephen to everyone who is listening.

About Stephen:

Stephen K. De Silva began his professional career in 1985 as a certified public accountant. From 1995 until 2017, he ran an exclusive service company specializing in nonprofit accounting and ministerial income tax preparation, while simultaneously leading a growing team as chief financial officer and member of the senior leadership team at Bethel Church of Redding.

After years of working with clients, Stephen discovered a key to success. Beginning with five basic principles, Stephen created Prosperous Soul Ministries, today's seminal voice in the area of capacity, wealth, poverty, and greed. The goal of these materials: To make the world a wealthier place by teaching the end of poverty and greed.

Stephen's unique blend of experience, training, and integrity make him a pioneer expert in the subject of money. Now as a full-time international speaker, author, and thought leader, Stephen releases hope, momentum, and generosity to replace financial trauma, confusion, and fear.

Connect with Stephen:

Website

Resources Mentioned:

The Millionaire Mind (Millionaire Mindset)