Making Space For Love

In This EpisodeJade ParisIG:   / jade.nyasia  TikTok:   / jade.nyasia  X: Threads: https://www.threads.com/@jade.nyasiaWhat would happen if you stopped waiting for the perfect moment and just went for it?In this episode, Joey and Graham welcome Jade Paris — D1 volleyball player, brain surgery survivor, and the internet's unofficial Shoot Your Shot coach. Jade has built a massive following teaching people how to approach strangers with confidence, clarity, and respect, and she brings all of that energy to Making Space for Love.Together they break down the real mechanics of shooting your shot: why eye contact and body language matter more than your opening line, how to state your intentions clearly without being pushy, and how to handle rejection with grace — including staying in the space instead of fleeing the country. Jade shares the missed coffee shop connection that launched her entire Shoot Your Shot series, walks through a bookstore scenario with a genius move involving a wrapped book and a phone number, and tackles the most controversial question in modern dating: should women shoot their shot?Graham connects Jade's approach to the show's mental performance framework — visualization, emotional regulation, the 4-7-8 breath, and the mantra "I don't react, I respond, I take a breath, and I move on." The result is a masterclass in courageous connection that's practical enough to use tomorrow morning at the coffee shop.If you've ever talked yourself out of introducing yourself to someone, this episode is your playbook.

What happens when the work actually starts working?

Joey opens this episode with something different, a real-time report from inside the transformation. The abundance is flowing. He’s seeing someone who shows up for herself. The tools are working. And the stories still come up every single day — but now he knows what to do with them. The catch? When good things start pouring in, the instinct isn’t just to enjoy it. It’s to grab it, control it, and never let it go. Sound familiar?

Then Daniel calls in from Marin County. He’s 54, an artist, just out of a seven-year relationship where he and his partner triggered each other constantly. He knows his pattern, it goes back to an aggressive father, and he knows he built a protector part so vicious it became scary in intimate relationships. He’s done the intellectual work. He understands the psychology. But in the moment, when the volcano erupts, he can’t stop it. Graham and Joey coach him through the simplest, most powerful tool on the show: sit with it for three to five minutes, say “I love myself unconditionally,” name the feelings, and throw the punch. Daniel’s response? “I’m ready.”

Then Maris Lofler returns and takes the conversation clinical. She explains why just saying “thank you, protector, I don’t need you anymore” isn’t always enough, some patterns live deeper in the nervous system and require body-based therapies to truly resolve. She introduces brain spotting and EMDR, explaining how they bypass the logical brain to access where trauma actually lives in the neurons and the body. It’s the most advanced clinical content the show has featured, and Maris makes it accessible without dumbing it down.

Three takeaways: when the abundance flows, let it flow through you, don’t grab it. Your protector served you, but it might be time to let it evolve. And “I love myself unconditionally” is undefeated, the only time it loses is when you forget to throw the punch.

Making Space for Love is built on the idea that all great relationships start with the relationship you have with yourself. 

What if the scariest part of dating , rejection, is actually the training ground for everything you want?

In this episode, Joey and Graham go deep on the two moments that paralyze people most: the fear of walking up to someone you're interested in, and the spiral that happens when someone says no. They break down why both come from the same place, trying to get something from another person instead of giving, and how one simple shift changes everything.

Graham introduces the Give and Go: approach someone with a genuine compliment, no ask attached, and move on gracefully. Do it ten times. Not to get a number. To train your nervous system that rejection doesn't kill you. Joey shares his real experience approaching a table of three women at dinner and walks through what was going through his head, what he did, and what he learned from it.

They also get into why in-person connection hits different than dating apps, why apps are designed to help you avoid the exact discomfort that creates real connection, and why your fear of rejection is running on software from 10,000 years ago when getting rejected from the group actually could mean death.

Then therapist Maris Loeffler joins and drops knowledge that reframes everything. She introduces the Window of Tolerance — the space between fight mode and freeze mode where you can actually regulate your emotions , and explains why technology and dating apps are making us more myopic, reacting to rejection like teenagers who believe it will last forever. She breaks down the Venn Diagram of relationships, why fluidity and flexibility are required for partnership, and the importance of premarital conversations about the hard hypotheticals. She leaves us with five words worth remembering: "This person does not reflect me."

Three takeaways from this episode: get in the arena and do the work. You cannot intellectualize your way through this. Relationships are fluid. The overlap shifts and that's normal. And what someone else does or says is not a reflection of you.

Making Space for Love is built on the idea that all great relationships start with the relationship you have with yourself. New episodes weekly.

What does it actually mean to be confident in dating?

In this episode of Making Space for Love, we break down The Confident Truth — and it’s probably not what you think.

A live caller (Cate from Oregon) shares real dating experiences that spark a deeper conversation about insecurity, emotional patterns, and what women actually mean when they say they want a man who can “lead.”

Together, we unpack:

• Why “leading” isn’t about control or making decisions
• How emotional safety creates attraction
• Why most men misunderstand confidence
• How insecurity shows up in dating (and pushes people away)
• What it really means to create emotional safety
• And why nervous system regulation might be the most important skill for connection

We’re also joined by licensed therapist Maris Loeffler who answers a powerful question:

👉 What does it actually take to be ready for love?

Her answer might surprise you.

This episode is about more than dating — it’s about doing the inner work that allows real connection to happen.

00:00 Intro

08:20 Caller shares dating experiences

17:00 Recognizing patterns & insecurity

27:30 What women mean by “lead”

38:00 Redefining confidence

52:00 Therapist insight: nervous system regulation

1:05:00 Emotional safety & relationships

1:10:00 Final takeaways

Why does modern dating feel so disconnected?

In this episode of Making Space for Love, Joey Hamilton and Graham Betchart take a live call from Kristen in Long Beach, who shares her honest experience navigating modern dating after nearly two decades of trying to find the right partner.

Kristen talks openly about the challenges many people — especially women — are feeling today:

• frustrating experiences on dating apps
• the growing disconnect between men and women
• feeling like emotional intelligence is missing in dating
• wondering if real connection is still possible

Her vulnerability sparks a powerful conversation about what might actually be going wrong in modern dating.

Joey and Graham explore how fear of rejection, social media culture, and dating app dynamics have changed the way people approach relationships. They also talk about the importance of emotional awareness, courage, and learning how to connect again in real life.

Together they discuss a simple but powerful shift:

Instead of treating dating like success or failure, what if we approached it as discovery?

Because making space for love isn't about perfection.

It's about showing up, being present, and having the courage to connect.

What makes a relationship actually work?

In this episode of Making Space for Love, Joey Hamilton and Graham Betchart use a simple but powerful metaphor: the relationship grilled cheese.

A grilled cheese only works when all the ingredients come together in balance — bread, cheese, heat, and timing.

Relationships work the same way.

Too much pressure, too much expectation, or losing yourself inside the partnership can cause things to fall apart.

Joey and Graham explore how healthy relationships require:

• two whole individuals
• space for independence
• shared experiences and growth
• patience and trust

The goal isn't to melt into one person.

It's to build a partnership where both people stay connected while still remaining themselves.

Why do so many promising relationships fall apart in the early stages?

In this episode of Making Space for Love, Joey Hamilton and Graham Betchart talk about one of the most common mistakes in dating — moving too fast and overwhelming the connection.

They call it “Don’t Eat the Bunny.”

When we meet someone we like, excitement can quickly turn into pressure. We start imagining the future, texting constantly, and trying to lock something down before the relationship has had time to breathe.

But real connection grows through space, curiosity, and discovery.

Joey and Graham explore how to:

• avoid suffocating a new relationship
• stay grounded when attraction is strong
• slow down and let connection develop naturally
• create space for trust and attraction to grow

Sometimes the best thing you can do for a relationship…
is simply let it breathe.

What does it really mean to be available for love?

In this episode of Making Space for Love, Joey Hamilton and Graham Betchart explore the idea of availability — not just physically being present, but emotionally, mentally, and energetically open to connection.

Many people say they want a relationship, but unconsciously keep themselves guarded. Old stories, past hurt, fear of rejection, and the pressure of modern dating can make us close off without realizing it.

Joey and Graham talk about how real connection begins when we learn to:

• listen with curiosity
• stay open in vulnerable moments
• respond instead of reacting
• show up fully as ourselves

Availability isn't about forcing something to happen.
It's about creating space where something real can grow.

If you're navigating dating, relationships, or learning to open your heart again, this episode will help you explore what it truly means to be available to love.

Dating apps promised to make connection easier.But have they actually made it harder to truly connect?

In this episode of Making Space for Love, Joey Hamilton and Graham Betchart dive into the modern world of dating apps — the good, the frustrating, and the deeper questions they raise about vulnerability, expectations, and real human connection.

Why do dating apps often feel like a “necessary evil”? Why do so many people feel emotionally disconnected even when they’re matching constantly?

Joey and Graham explore:

• Why dating apps can create preconceived expectations before you ever meet someone

• The difference between dating vs discovering another human being

• Why emotional availability might be the most attractive trait on any profile

• How swiping culture can disconnect us from the mystery and romance of meeting someone in real life

• Why approaching dating with curiosity instead of pressure changes everything

• And a radical idea: what if dating apps were just tools for discovery rather than judgment?

The real question isn’t “How do I get more matches?” It’s: How do we stay open enough to experience real connection?

Whether you're actively dating, burned out on apps, or just curious about how relationships are evolving in the digital age, this conversation will challenge how you think about modern dating.

Because connection doesn’t happen on a screen. It happens when two people show up for real.

Here is our first try at putting AI to the test.

With more people turning to AI for therapy, reflection, and relationship advice, we wanted to explore something important:What is genuinely useful about these tools — and where do they fall short?

In this segment we asked ChatGPT a real relationship question.

First, we let Graham answer, then we read ChatGPT’s answer. Then Graham breaks it all down down.

What we discovered:The answers were thoughtful. Structured. Insightful. But there’s a difference between knowing what to do… and being prepared for what it will actually feel like to do it.

AI can help you name patterns.It can offer frameworks. It can suggest next steps. But it doesn’t have a nervous system. It doesn’t know the emotional weight of rewiring attachment. It can’t sit with you in the discomfort of choosing differently.