Making the Coaching Connection

The first step to making a connection as a coach is building trust. There are several ways to accomplish this, including being fully present and focused, being genuinely curious, and using basic rapport-building tactics. Listen to learn practical techniques to establish a coaching connection and optimize your leadership skills.

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Bill Berthel: Welcome to the Get Emergent podcast, where we discuss leadership, team and organizational topics and best practices. We like to provide ideas, concepts, and pragmatic experiments to help you develop your potential in your work and your leadership. I’m Bill Berthel

Ralph Simone: And I’m Ralph Simone.

Bill Berthel: So Ralph, today we’re going to talk about making the coaching connection. Continuing this series around being a coach in your leadership leader. As coach, we know that making an, important connection with the people we’re coaching is a vital part. What does it mean to make a connection?

Ralph Simone: This is actually a favorite topic of mine. In fact, it’s one of the things that I think it’s one of my few natural gifts, is my ability to make a connection. And I think it’s making a connection at a deeper, I’m almost going to say a soul level. It’s not just connecting intellectually, which is important, but it’s also connecting emotionally. It’s connecting with the person. It’s seeing the person right in front of you. I mean, one of the reasons people respond to coaching is sometimes they don’t feel like they’re being seen or heard, or whatever is going on. And so I think making that connection is really forming a bond of trust so that they trust that you’re sincerely and genuinely interested in whatever they’re dealing with and are interested in helping guide them through it. Not own it, not take it, but guide them through it.

Bill Berthel: So, trust, we know that, I think it was Covey that said it’s the glue that holds all relationships together. But trust is a pretty complex thing. How do we build trust in this making of a connection?

Ralph Simone: It’s an interesting question, but I think it’s part of holding the space. I think it’s part of how we show up. I think it’s maybe overused, but it’s really about being fully present. This is where, for me, one of the ways that I ensure I make the connection is I ground myself before any coaching conversation. I clear myself of any things that may be distracting for me as much as I can. It’s like akin to going into the dojo. When you go into a dojo to train for karate, you remove your shoes at the door and that’s symbolic for leaving your problems and experiences of the day behind so that you can be fully focused in the next hour of training. And I think for me, that’s how we make the connection. That’s how we build the trust.

Bill Berthel: So I love that physical reminder of taking our shoes off. What do you do to get yourself ready when you’re coaching to be fully present?

Ralph Simone: I actually clear my space and, so particularly if it’s a Zoom meeting or if it’s a phone call, I clear my space of anything that might distract me. I’ll take a couple of deep breaths and I’ll just kind of get quiet. And if there is something going on, I gently acknowledge it so that I can release it, so that I can be as focused as possible. And I sometimes even will say to a client or an employee, let’s just take a moment, let’s both o