Man Alive

What if becoming a better lover doesn't have much to do with knowing the right moves?

Many men want to give women more pleasure. They want to know how to touch a woman in ways that turn her on, help her relax, and make her want more. But they may never have been taught what to pay attention to, or how to feel confident when they don't already know what to do.

In this episode of Practicing Love and Man Alive, I'm joined by Elizabeth Anneka, touch and intimacy coach and founder of How To Touch Women, for a conversation about the art of creating more pleasure, connection, and desire.

Elizabeth brings a fascinating perspective to this work. Drawing on her background studying animal behavior and her deep interest in the nuances of touch, she teaches men to pay attention to the subtle ways a woman's body responds.

We explore why slowing down, noticing breath, lightening touch, and becoming more intentional can transform the experience of intimacy. We also talk about why women often need more than direct stimulation: they want to feel that their partner is present, responsive, and genuinely interested in their experience.

As I write about, women don't always stop wanting sex. Sometimes they stop wanting the kind of sex they've been having. When touch feels disconnected, rushed, or focused primarily on reaching a destination, desire can diminish. But when a partner becomes more attuned to what feels good in the moment, something different becomes possible.

We also explore the pressure many men feel around sex, the scarcity that can make intimacy feel like a question of getting a yes or a no, and the vulnerability involved in creating an experience that goes beyond performance.

Because becoming a more confident lover isn't about knowing exactly what to do in every situation. It's about developing the curiosity, courage, and presence to meet another person in the moment.

And this isn't only about what men can do for women. We also explore how intentional touch can help both partners become more aware of the pleasure they're capable of creating and receiving.

In this episode, we explore:

• What matters more than memorizing a set of sexual techniques
• What helps a woman feel safe enough to relax and open to pleasure
• How pressure, scarcity, and fear of getting it wrong can interfere with sexual connection
• Why curiosity can be more useful than trying to appear confident
• How men can develop their capacity to create pleasure rather than focus only on performance
• Why emotional connection and the dynamics outside the bedroom affect what happens inside it
• How both partners can become more intentional about the experiences they're creating for each other

If you want to deepen your understanding of women's pleasure and create more satisfying, connected sex, this conversation offers a place to begin.

Connect with Elizabeth:

Explore Elizabeth's work and resources for men, women, and couples:

HowToTouchWomen.com

Connect with Shana:

Take Shana's quiz to find out what gets in the way of having the best love and sex of your life after 40:

https://bestlove.scoreapp.com/

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Most men want to be trusted, have meaningful relationships, and treat the people they care about well. But wanting to do the right thing and knowing how to navigate boundaries, vulnerability, and accountability aren't always the same thing.

In this episode of Man Alive, I'm joined by Martin Henson, executive director of B Men, community organizer, and former therapist, to explore consent and how honest conversations among men can open the door to better connections and relationships.

Martin shares what he learned from creating spaces where men could talk honestly about times they'd caused harm and times their own boundaries had been crossed.

One of the most striking insights from our conversation is that many men are taught to push through discomfort rather than recognize their own limits. Martin reflects that he hadn't learned what his own "No" sounded like.

This raises the question: How can we learn to recognize and respect someone else's boundaries if we haven't learned to recognize our own?

We explored how traditional expectations of masculinity can make vulnerability difficult, and what restorative justice offers as we look beyond punishment toward accountability, repair, and preventing future harm.

This isn't about excusing harmful behavior or diminishing accountability. It's about understanding what helps us recognize their impact, take responsibility, and make different choices.

In this conversation, we explore:

• What consent means and why recognizing our own boundaries matters
• How masculinity can shape our relationship with discomfort and vulnerability
• Why meaningful accountability requires more than telling people to be better
• How restorative justice can support repair and prevent future harm
• How we can take the needs of the person who was harmed seriously while addressing the behavior of the person who caused harm

This conversation is about men, but the questions reach all of us: What helps people take responsibility? And how can we create relationships and communities where compassion and accountability coexist?

Connect with Martin:

https://bmenfoundation.org/

https://www.martinhspeaks.com/

Connect with Shana to talk about having more and better connections and relationships:

https://shanajamescoaching.com/

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A dead bedroom isn't just about sex.

For many people, it feels like rejection, loneliness, and the slow loss of emotional connection. It can leave partners wondering:

"What's wrong with me?" "Why doesn't my partner want me?" "Can we ever get back what we had?"

In this episode of Practicing Love, I sit down with speaker, author, and founder of Help for Men, Ralph Brewer, whose book The Dead Bedroom Fix has resonated with thousands of men and couples.

Ralph shares his own journey through divorce, starting over as a father of three, and what he learned about intimacy, attachment, confidence, and healing.

Together we explore:

Why dead bedrooms rarely happen because of sex alone

The connection between attachment styles and intimacy struggles

Why many men feel forgotten, unwanted, or emotionally alone

The shame that keeps people stuck

What confidence really means

Why asking for help is one of the strongest things we can do

Why becoming secure is a practice, not an overnight transformation

How addressing the "broken little boy" inside can change your relationships forever

This conversation is for anyone who feels lonely in their relationship, longs for more intimacy, or wants to understand why connection fades and how to rebuild it.

Because a dead bedroom isn't always the end of a relationship.

Sometimes it's an invitation to finally have the conversations and do the healing that bring love back to life.

Ralph Brewer's book: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=The+Dead+Bedroom+Fix+Ralph+Brewer

Help for Men: https://helpformen.com/

The Brotherhood: https://thebrotherhoodcommunity.com/

Find out what gets in the way of you having the best sex of your life: https://bestlove.scoreapp.com/?ref=podcast

Learn more about Honest Sex: https://shanajamescoaching.com/honest-sex/

Schedule an Effortless Love and Sex Consultation: https://shanajamescoaching.com/consult

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What if one of the most powerful things a man can do is stop trying to do life alone?

In this conversation, Nick Papadopoulos—affectionately known as Coach Nick, and I talk about why men sharing what's really going on increases quality of live and even saves lives.

Carrying shame, fear, grief, uncertainty, and struggle alone is exhausting—and often keeps men from the connection, creativity, energy, and support they need.

Nick has spent 25 years as an executive coach and men's group facilitator helping men create more meaningful, purposeful lives. He's also the Amazon bestselling author of The Men's Group: A Novel of Messy Friendships.

Nick shares four pillars for a more fulfilling life:

• Sharing: Getting what's inside you out of your head can reduce shame and help you see things differently
• Contribution: Helping someone else can sometimes be the path out of your own despair
• Bringing Your A Game: Goals and purposeful action help you step back into "the arena"
• Redefining Masculinity: When success isn't measured only by what you accomplish, earn, or provide

We also talk about the difference between being in the arena and sitting in the stands, why secrets can drain your creativity and resourcefulness, and how choosing who you want to be can matter more than what you accomplish.

And we get into a question I think is especially important for men today:

What if being a protector and provider isn't a reason to protect everyone from your inner world? What if vulnerability is actually a big part of your power?

If you've been carrying something alone, this conversation is your reminder that you don't have to.

Connect with Nick

Nick's instagram

Take the quiz: Find out what's getting in the way of your best love and sex life

Book a free Effortless Love & Sex Consultation with Shana

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In this candid and sometimes provocative conversation, intimacy expert Susan Bratton and I explore what becomes possible when women stop hiding what they want and men stop seeing desire as something they have to control, manage, or perform around.

Susan has spent decades helping people create what she calls "heart-connected, conscious, passionate lovemaking." Together we explore why great sex isn't about performance, techniques, or getting it right. It's about presence, self-expression, emotional safety, and the courage to tell the truth.

We talk about:

• The difference between conscious lovemaking and performative sex

• Why many women struggle to express what they truly want

• How a woman's desires can become a roadmap rather than something to fear

• What happens when partners stop trying to control each other and start co-creating

• How heart connection creates deeper intimacy and better sex

• Why asking for what you want is one of the greatest gifts you can give a partner

• The surprising ways long-term relationships stay alive, erotic, and connected

Susan shares stories from her own life, relationships, and decades of teaching that challenge conventional ideas about sex, intimacy, and partnership.

While some parts of this conversation are refreshingly direct and adult in nature, the deeper invitation is one we all need: to stop performing, start telling the truth, and create relationships where we can be fully known and fully loved.

If you've ever wondered how to create deeper connection, more satisfying intimacy, or a relationship where desire can be spoken openly, this conversation is for you.

Get Susan's twice weekly tips for great sex at:

https://betterlover.com/

https://www.youtube.com/c/BetterLover

Take Shana's quiz to see what's keeping you from the best love and sex of your life:

https://bestlove.scoreapp.com/

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It's becoming clearer and clearer that great sex isn't about performance. So what makes sex great?

In this episode of Practicing Love, I'm joined by sex and relationship coach and author of Harder, Better, Longer, Stronger, Caitlin V, for a powerful and refreshingly honest conversation about what actually creates satisfying, connected sex.

We go beyond the usual tips and techniques and explore what's really happening underneath performance pressure, mismatched expectations, and the cultural messages that shape how we show up in bed.

Caitlin shares insights from a decade of working with men and couples—from early ejaculation and arousal challenges to the deeper emotional and relational patterns that impact intimacy.

And we talk about what it actually takes to create a sex life that feels alive, connected, and sustainable over time.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why performance pressure is one of the biggest blockers to real pleasure and connection
• What's actually behind common sexual challenges (and why it's not just physical)
• How cultural expectations shape men's and women's experiences of sex
• Why unlearning can be more powerful than learning new techniques
• How presence, containment, and emotional safety unlock deeper arousal and intimacy
• The surprising skill that most impacts long-term satisfaction

This conversation is honest, nuanced, and deeply human.

If you've ever felt pressure to "get it right," struggled to feel truly connected during sex, or wondered what actually creates great sex over time, this episode will open up a new way of understanding intimacy.

Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!

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Most men want to please the women they love. But many don't understand what actually helps a woman open, relax, and experience truly satisfying sex.

In this episode, I talk with Certified Sexologist Kevin Anthony, host of the Love Lab Podcast, about what men often miss about what women need to make sex great for them.

For many women, great sex doesn't start in the bedroom. It begins with safety, trust, connection, and presence. When a woman feels emotionally safe and deeply connected, her body can relax and open to pleasure. Without that foundation, sex can feel tense, pressured, or disconnected — even when both partners have good intentions.

Kevin and I explore:

• Why safety and trust are essential for women's sexual pleasure • How connection starts long before the bedroom • The role of emotional intelligence in great sex • How presence creates much better sex than performance • The physical things many men misunderstand about foreplay • Why women's arousal is more fluid and responsive than many men realize • How you can create more harmony, connection, and passion

This conversation will give you powerful new perspectives to create deeper intimacy, better sex, and a more connected relationship.

In this episode of Practicing Love, I talk with men's guide Mark J. Platten about why relationships during menopause and midlife feel so challenging, and what men are rarely taught about how to show up.

Most men enter relationships with what Mark calls "Prince tools." They try to fix, perform, or avoid conflict. But menopause often brings emotional intensity, physical changes, and deeper truths to the surface. The old tools stop working.

When this isn't seen as a problem to solve, it's an invitation to grow.

In this episode explore:

• Why so many couples struggle or separate during menopause and andropause • The difference between "Prince" and "King" energy • How to stop shutting down or taking things personally • The biggest mistakes men make during this stage • How midlife becomes a rite of passage into emotional maturity • What real intimacy is, beyond just sex • How vulnerability becomes strength, not weakness

If you love a woman in midlife — or you're moving through this season yourself — this conversation will help you show up with steadiness, heart, and depth.

Because menopause doesn't have to be the end of intimacy.

It can be the beginning of the most honest and connected love of your life.

In this episode of Practicing Love, I talk with men's guide Mark J. Platten about why relationships during menopause and midlife feel so challenging, and what men are rarely taught about how to show up.

Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!

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On today's Practicing Love podcast, Shana James is joined by divorce coach and NLP practitioner Rachael Sloan for a powerful conversation about how relationships break down — and how they can be repaired before it's too late.

Rachael works primarily with men navigating separation and divorce and is the creator of the Better Beyond Divorce program. Together, Shana and Rachael explore emotional regulation, conflict, boundaries, survival responses, and the unconscious patterns that couples bring into relationships.

This episode is for anyone who wants to communicate more effectively, stay connected during conflict, and build a relationship that can weather hard moments with greater compassion and clarity.

It's a hopeful conversation about staying in love longer, even when things get hard, and how to stop the downward spirals that couples get stuck in.

Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!

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Most men are never taught the real source of sexual fulfillment — so they chase performance, goals, or fantasy, while feeling disconnected from the deeper intimacy they actually want.

Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!

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