MAN TALK FOR LATTER DAY SAINTS, Episode 3
Episode Topic: Pervasive and Pernicious Shame
Shame was the first message the adversary taught Adam and Eve after they partook of the forbidden fruit - to hide because they were no longer worthy of God's presence.
Shame makes us want to hide our true selves and intent. The subconscious message can be "if others know the real you, they will not accept you."
Many unconsciously use shame to control behavior, especially as parents or teachers.
According to David Hawkins, shame is the emotion closest to death in terms of vibration/energy.
Shame focuses on self ("I am bad"), while guilt focuses on behavior ("I did something bad").
Shame festers in secrecy and darkness. Bringing it into the light is key for healing.
Many men hide shame under a cloak of perfectionism or busyness with callings and church service. But still feel hollow inside.
Creating safe spaces for men to be vulnerable and share their stories helps combat shame.
Willingness to feel all emotions, good and bad, is important. Denying "bad" ones suppresses our capacity for joy too.
Learn to receive and "ride the wave" of emotion rather than resist. Breathe into the feeling.
Develop your relationship with Christ. Come to know Him more through life's bitter and sweet.
Remember, Christ felt the weight of the world. There's a gift in staying present with discomfort.
You are enough. Thoughts of deficiency are lies. Come into the light.
"Shame can only exist in the dark." (Brene Brown)
"Willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [you]." (Mosiah 3:19)
"I am willing." (On developing willingness)
"What we resist, persists." (On trying to suppress emotion)
"There's a gift with every emotion."
Examine your life for patterns of perfectionism or hiding - are these covers for shame?
Open up in small steps to trusted friends/mentors about your real feelings and story.
Make time to feel and process emotions fully, without judgment. Breathe into discomfort.
Do a daily gratitude practice to shift energy/perspective.
Develop real relationships with yourself, Christ and God. Fill your life with meaningful connection.