Mandy Sucks Minute

nevermind the bad luck of crashing your truck on your first attempt at vengeance-fueled murder, nevermind the good luck that these drugged-up (nee supernatural) bikers took you alive rather than killing you on the spot, shouldn't something be happening now beside ridiculous notions of you having bad taste in shirts and you could use some therapy, possibly even from this plastic-faced... thing? no, you gotta slow the scene down, get a few CUT TO BLURRY shots in there, skip a few obvious INSERT SHOTs, and you definitely want to avoid an ESTABLISHING SHOT of where we are; you're probably still regretting that one time that you bothered with one of those...

if i see another person quote the "favorite shirt" line online i might just have to scream out of nowhere like andy when he found his hand nailed to the floor. this scene is self-indulgent in both its lingering and its plot-shortening convenience. and it sucks. #mandy minute 80

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but airquotes ought to be in the running for biggest #christfigure of the film. will she win? will she lose? does it matter? we're just going to get back to the film proper next episode. is that what you want? what is wrong with you?

#mandymovie somewhere between minute 79 and 80, but really in the distant future looking back on the madness

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but what's good for andy is good for fishmouth. so, let's see how fishmouth measures up on the kozlovic-black scale for cinematic christ-figures before we get to #mandy minute 80

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bonus episode looking back at andy as a cinematic christ-figure (using the kozlovic-black scale) after he has been wounded yet again in #mandy minute 79

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revenge is not a tale for a cinematic christ-figure. giving andy a wound in his side, putting a(n almost) crown of thorns on his head, and now putting a nail through his hand is silly trying to be cool, it doesn't give depth to the wounding, it doesn't offer depth of character to this guy we don't really know with the film more than half over, and it definitely doesn't ground any of this story in a relatable reality as most vengeance plots would. and it is not graphic enough to be torture porn (nor will the overflow of blood in the next few minutes make it so). it's just a waste of screentime. #mandy minute 79

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these bits are dreams, right? how boring are your dreams? mine are usually more interesting. i mean, things happen, and everything. #mandy minute 78

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but, hey, something happened this minute. we should have a party or something. we can have a really blurry cake. #mandy minute 77

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i realize now that the title for this episode could refer to almost every minute of this movie, the starling story, the wannabe orgy, the trailer talk, the tunnel walk, etc. this isn't any of those. #mandy minute 76

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if you've got a smithing cave with this elaborate a setup, you should probably do better work than lumpy molds for your vengeance axes. but, at least you got it done in a minute. #mandy minute 75

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andy is a lumberjack who lives in a cabin in the woods; he's got a regular axe in a stump outside, surely. he lives in the woods and we've seen him eat meat. he's got a bow (or crossbow) or a gun in this fucking cabin. visiting random exposition guy's trailer and then smithing your own axe--that's stupid. #mandy minute 74

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