Over the past few weeks, I spoke to more than 30 women who identified as successful in work,
(Bossbabes, if you will) who "didn’t need a man” to take care of them.
Even though they considered themselves independent,
many of them tearfully shared with me
some of the struggles they were facing in their relationships.

What I discovered was a “eureka” moment for them.

It was almost as if they were all dating (or married to) the SAME DUDE.

Through our conversation, they were able to discover their blind spots that were pushing healthy
masculine leadership energy away,
and unknowingly attracting men (and behavior in their men)
who wouldn’t commit, wouldn’t plan, and wouldn’t lead
into devotion.

Quite the opposite.
Many of these men were actually more like children,
feeding off their energy, extracting from these women
much like having another child in the house.

Of course they were living in a constant state of resentment
about life in general, they all had a few things in common.

Take a wild guess what it could be.

You’ve heard the term “blind spots” in driving on the road.

We also have Blind Spots in our psyche.

They are parts of ourselves that we can’t see,
like trying to read the label of a jar from the inside.

Blind Spots are unconscious parts of ourselves
that cause us to unknowingly create our own suffering.

Parts of us that are too painful to admit are there, but they are.

And unless we have the courage to face them and get them exposed,

we are doomed to repeat the same cycle again and again, like groundhog Day.

You know exactly what I’m talking about:

Same arguments every time, like a broken record.

One woman was married and divorced 7 times and tried all the therapies without finding the root of it,
but through our interaction— was able to see what she hadn’t been able to in all the years:

Her part in the dynamic that was causing relationships to break down,
without fault or blame.

Another woman who was married and divorced 4 times,
now in a relationship with an avoidant who doesn’t make her a priority,
also couldn’t see her blind spot despite all the books and therapies:
She was so preoccupied with him and diagnosing him that she didn’t
acknowledge what she needed to change within HERSELF to inspire him to commit.

It pains me to hear their stories because most therapies they try are about validating their side of the story,
rather than committing to actual healing—

 which involves learning SKILLS instead of venting stories.

No one had the courage to tell these women the truth of their blind spots,

 because it would have bruised their ego.

One of the women was an actual counsellor and therapist and was stunned to hear my feedback
on her blind spots.  She received it gracefully and gratefully, admitting that she wouldn’t be
allowed to be so direct with her clients— that it would run the risk of her getting a complaint to the board.

The only problem with that is that having your blind spot revealed is CRITICAL

if you want to change your relationship pattern.

Tell me if you notice what I call the “Bossbabe Conundrum”:

If you want to drop being in charge of the relationship, it’s not just about HIM.
Something within YOU needs to change, and your ego won’t like it.

Otherwise, you can leave that partner but the next person you date—
same person, different haircut.

So in service to all boss babes who want out of the conundrum,
I invite you to watch or listen to this one hour podcast.

Listen now, or save it for later— I start first with the back story of
why a man like me would want to speak to Bossbabes who are brave enough
to taste the bitter medicine of the truth in order to attract men who are mature,
devotional, protectors, providers. 

If you’re a person who gets offended with the notion that a man has
some potent information for powerful women who want to learn how to
reign it in so they don’t scare off quality men— then this podcast won’t be for you.

But if you want to see if you can identify with some blind spots so that you
can stop pushing high-value secure love away, then this podcast episode is for you.

After you listen, send it to someone who you know is struggling in their relationship,
and see if they relate too.

If you stay to the end, you’ll see some traits that some quality men (when asked) shared
about what they consider irresistible for being wife material.

If you’ve ever dreamed of being devotionally led by a healthy masculine partner,
you’ll want to grab a pen and start getting to work.

You deserve love that is secure.

Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima
____________________________________________________________________
Click the link below to watch the complete transmission:
https://youtu.be/3KS1nCt9bsk

It was 2019 when I realized something had to change.

I’d nailed success in almost every area of my life—
except one: intimate relationships.

Every relationship ended up in a mess,
and I couldn’t figure out why my last one was such a disaster.

Then I discovered the concept of enmeshment—and everything clicked.
It was the root of the trauma bond, the codependency,
and the endless push-pull that kept me stuck in toxic cycles.

I was shocked.
Here I was—smart, successful—
yet always falling into this same, self-destructive dance.
Highs that started strong and fizzled out,
leading to me becoming the "bad guy" in someone else's story.

That last relationship?

It was my wake-up call.
 I was committed to NEVER repeating that again.
So I dug deep, and I uncovered 3 hidden forces that kept me stuck in these patterns.

Now I’m married and there’s ZERO drama.

What were the blind spots I had to uncover to get there?

I share them in my latest Manxiety Podcast episode.

If you relate to #3, there’s good news—
you CAN break free if you’re willing to practice the skill I discuss.

If you want:

        • Deep connection without falling into the same toxic cycles,
        • To break the generational patterns of struggle in relationships,
        • To be in control of your moods,
        • And to honor your boundaries, rather than bulldozing over red flags…

It starts with understanding and healing these 3 forces.

If you’re ready to get uncomfortable and do something radically different,
this episode is for you. It’s about owning your freedom and creating the safety you deserve.

You’ve got this.

Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima

P.S. If you’ve tried therapy, read the books,
done the work, have achieved success in your career,
but keep falling into the same anxious avoidant dance,
maybe it’s time to get to the root.

I’m offering a limited number of Trigger-Proof Blind Spot sessions
to help you uncover how enmeshment may still be running your relationships.
If you’re ready to take a real deep look in the mirror, and receive honest feedback
that’s intended to uncover what you may not be able to see,
and you’re humble enough to want to grow and committed to do the work,
hit reply with your back story and what work you’ve done,
how it’s impacting your career, and end it with:

"Nima, I’m ready to break free. Send me your private calendar link.”

If you’re good at following instructions, and I can spot a potential snag,
and I think I can help you, I’ll send you my link and we can talk.
No obligation.

_________________
Listen to the full podcast transmission using THIS link

When you’re reading about relationships
and secure attachments, avoidants get thrown under the bus.

As I unpacked my last relationship which was definitely a Trauma Bond,
I had to take ownership of my avoidance behaviors and find the root cause.

I didn’t want to go through the painful push-pull dynamic again.

I wanted to trust myself.

I wanted to trust love.

Even though I was successful at work,
I desperately craved the feeling of love that felt secure.

I didn’t want to die NOT having experienced safe and secure love.

Now, in teaching the people in my cyclebreakers community how to go
from insecure to secure attachments by learning high level skills in relating,
I noticed how much resentment those with anxious attachment carry
towards their avoidant partners.

So I decided to hit the record button to help those with anxious attachment
better understand their avoidant partners.

In this episode I reveal the MAIN THING that avoidants are trying to avoid.

When you understand this— you feel less victimized and resentful.
Your frustration turns to compassion— and from there,
you have much better options than to push them away with more neediness.

This episode is to help those who identify as avoidants
(or those who partner with avoidants) to upgrade your understanding
of what’s really going on— so that you can make the shift towards
emotional healing and creating the most important experience as a human being:

Love that feels fulfilling and connected.

A home that feels like a sanctuary.

Safety in your Nervous System.

This is for you if you want to shift your avoidance behaviors,
or to make it safer for your avoidant partner to turn TOWARDS you
when they are taking space.

Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima

------
P.S. Comment and Let me know if this episode resonated with you. I’m listening.
If this resonates with you—whether you identify with avoidant behaviors
or you’re struggling with an avoidant partner—
let’s uncover the blind spots together.
If you’ve tried therapy, read all the books
or feel you’ve done all the personal development and still feel stuck,
share your story with me. Let me know what you’ve tried and where you think you're getting blocked.
If you're ready to finally see your blind spots and break free, ask for my calendar link for a 30 minute
blind spot chat that has no obligation.
I love taking the time to listen to genuine seekers who are open to hearing the truth—
even if it’s painful.
Let’s make this the turning point in your journey to secure love.

It was 2019 when I realized something had to change.

I’d nailed success in almost every area of my life—
except one: intimate relationships.

Every relationship ended up in a mess,
and I couldn’t figure out why my last one was such a disaster.

Then I discovered the concept of enmeshment—and everything clicked.
It was the root of the trauma bond, the codependency,
and the endless push-pull that kept me stuck in toxic cycles.

I was shocked.
Here I was—smart, successful—
yet always falling into this same, self-destructive dance.
Highs that started strong and fizzled out,
leading to me becoming the "bad guy" in someone else's story.

That last relationship?

It was my wake-up call.
 I was committed to NEVER repeating that again.
So I dug deep, and I uncovered 3 hidden forces that kept me stuck in these patterns.

Now I’m married and there’s ZERO drama.

What were the blind spots I had to uncover to get there?

I share them in my latest Manxiety Podcast episode.

If you relate to #3, there’s good news—
you CAN break free if you’re willing to practice the skill I discuss.

If you want:

        • Deep connection without falling into the same toxic cycles,
        • To break the generational patterns of struggle in relationships,
        • To be in control of your moods,
        • And to honor your boundaries, rather than bulldozing over red flags…

It starts with understanding and healing these 3 forces.

If you’re ready to get uncomfortable and do something radically different,
this episode is for you. It’s about owning your freedom and creating the safety you deserve.

You’ve got this.

Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima

P.S. If you’ve tried therapy, read the books,
done the work, have achieved success in your career,
but keep falling into the same anxious avoidant dance,
maybe it’s time to get to the root.

I’m offering a limited number of Trigger-Proof Blind Spot sessions
to help you uncover how enmeshment may still be running your relationships.
If you’re ready to take a real deep look in the mirror, and receive honest feedback
that’s intended to uncover what you may not be able to see,
and you’re humble enough to want to grow and committed to do the work,
hit reply with your back story and what work you’ve done,
how it’s impacting your career, and end it with:

"Nima, I’m ready to break free. Send me your private calendar link.”

If you’re good at following instructions, and I can spot a potential snag,
and I think I can help you, I’ll send you my link and we can talk.
No obligation.

The anxious-avoidant cycle can get exhausting.
When two parties aren’t trigger-proof, things can get heated.

In secure relationships, boundary violations are handled
elegantly.

Not so elegant when the "two anxieties” of unconscious polarityare at play.

Let me explain.

When you’re arguing with your partner (or even a friend),
it’s not the adult in front of you that you’re talking to.

You’re talking to a wounded little boy or girl, crying for help.

The younger part of one partner is preoccupied with
fixing the conflict immediately in order to feel safe.
(This is the anxious partner who’s afraid of abandonment).

The younger part of the other partner feels overwhelmed
with this, and needs to run away to avoid the conflict in order to feel safe.(This is the avoidant partner who’s run by the “fear of engulfment").

The first one needs constant communication and reassurance.
The second see this as controlling and oppressive.

This second one needs freedom and space to feel safe.
The first one feels that this is a cruel form of abandonment

This is why all the talk therapy doesn’t work:
Because these core wounds are far more powerful than that level of conversation.

This is NOT an intellectual conversation.
It’s revealed in the language of the body.

If you are struggling in the anxious/avoidant push/pull dance,
where one partner’s need for connection is driving the other’s need for space,
and you want to learn about an off-ramp to this exhaustive cycle,

I share exactly what that is in this episode of the Manxiety Podcast.

See if you can relate.

When you get this right, you up level past the power struggle,
out of the “should I stay or go” purgatory,
into relationship fulfillment.

When you don’t get this down— you can spend decades in therapy,
arguing over the same things,
hoping they will finally get over their “avoidance” but it never happens,
wearing you down, killing your life force energy, and causing
health issues.

See if you can spot the patterns and release them on this episode,
simply by mastering the “two anxieties” that we MUST confront
in every relationship.

Your wingman on the adventure.
Nima
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P.S. You’re reading this for a reason. I believe there’s a reason why
we are connected. If you’ve been following my work and have been on the sidelines,
wanting to know what’s possible, I want to hear more from you.

If you’re done with the exhausting push/pull of the anxious/avoidant dance
and ready to break free from this cycle, let’s talk.
I’m opening a few spots to chat for 30 mins
with those who are serious about finding the off-ramp to this endless loop.
If you’ve already done the work, done the therapies and invested in trying to solve this,
and have learned a lot in THEORY— you’ve had success in the workplace,
but it hasn’t translated in relationships,
and are ready to move from anxiety-driven conflict to true connection,
reply with your back story (don’t leave that out) and end with:

If you’re open to some feedback on your blind spots without having your Ego bruised too badly,
you may just find the breakthrough you’ve been searching for.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

LET'S CONNECT:

Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/doctornimarahmany
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drnima/
Email: [email protected], [email protected]

--------------------------------------------

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Background
01:58 Understanding the Unconscious Polarity
07:58 Becoming Trigger-Proof
15:59 Setting Elegant Boundaries
31:13 Repairing Boundary Violations

Women initiate 70% of divorces.

After speaking to these women, I discovered 3 reasons why.

She’s fed up.
She’s tired.
She’s feeling alone (even if you’ve been married for decades).

I’ve even spoken to women who confessed they were wanting to have an affair.

If you’re a successful man who’s a good provider—
with a woman who’s bitter, resentful, angry,
constantly critical, avoiding intimacy and closed off,
there’s a reason why this is happening.

The reason is often not clear to your woman.

She’ll say she’s not happy.
She’ll say she’s tired of having to be in charge, and wear the pants.
She’ll communicate in a way which makes you feel like you can’t win,
and nothing you do will ever be good enough.

After working with these women to help get them to a point where
they have more clarity about staying or going,
I realized that if men were to only focus on these 3 blind spots (among others),

that they could easily turn their bitter, cold, and resentful woman
into a warm, loving, vulnerable and open woman,
the same woman they met.

(The same woman who was there before the kids showed up.)

When you get those 3 blind spots right,
(which are much more than just making good money,)
you get a woman who will follow you to the ends of the earth.

If you’ve been struggling in a “should I stay or go” situation,
frustrated that counselling and therapy are moving at a snail’s pace,
and your partner has been the “avoidant”, and you the “anxious”,
or your woman has been communicating that she’s done and ready to leave,

this Podcast is for you if you’re truly committed to turning the ship around.

Tell me what you think and feel.

I’m listening.

Your wingman on the Adventure,
Nima
_________________
P.S. If this episode resonates with you— and you can identify as this man,
hit reply and give me your back story— as well as any questions you may have.

I want to keep the conversation going, and I’m here to help.

If you fit the description and have felt frustrated in Counselling and Therapy moving way too slow,
 and want to hop on a 30 minute Blind Spot reveal,
after you hit “reply” and share your back story, write in:
“Nima can I get some help with my blind spots? Can you send me your private calendar link?”
and I’ll be happy to listen and give you my feedback (if you’re willing to hear some uncomfortable truth).

So far I’ve been having a lot of fun helping people expose their blind spots and they’ve been
blown away with how they thought “the other person” was the problem and they were relieved to know
that something CAN be done.
__________
Chapters

00:00 Introduction and the importance of addressing blind spots
11:59 Blindspot # 1: Unresolved anxious attachment
14:11 Blindspot # 2: Disconnected from a greater purpose
18:07 Blindspot # 3 : Emotional immaturity and enmeshment
21:31 Conclusion and call to action

A commenter on a post said:

If you have struggled with maintaining attraction in a secure relationship dynamic,
then chances are you are dealing with an issue about Polarity without even knowing it.

On this podcast episode, I break down the arguments I hear against polarity,
and reveal a "not-so surprising" revelation those who feel the concept
of masculine and feminine polarity dynamics is toxic or complete bullshit
and set the story of how polarizing a secure relationship can not only help
build stability and security— but it can also increase magnetism and
reduce the risk of two people having affairs and getting their needs met
outside the relationship.

Have a listen.

Your wingman on the adventure,

Nima
______________

P.S. If you’re ready to learn how to bring the conversation of
Somatic Embodiment, Intergenerational Trauma and Polarity
together into one training that will teach you the fundamentals
so that you can immediately shift your communication, energy
and magnetism in your dating and relationships, I have a
never-done-before training I’m offering to my Cyclebreakers
Academy, and I’m opening spots for those who care enough
to show up LIVE on July 12th from 4-7pm PST (7-10pm EST).
That’s 9am-noon on Saturday July 13th Sydney time.

You’ll be taken through somatic embodiment practices
that help you FEEL the difference between the two polarities,
and be given role-playing demonstrations of the 2 most
common complaints and arguments in the Anxious (Preoccupied)
and Avoidant (Dismissive) negative cycle, and you’ll learn
EXACTLY how to break that cycle using Integrated polarity
so that you can repair from ruptures with greater ease and flow,
and bring magnetism instead of repulsion.

This event is NOT for everyone.
It’s for people who GENUINELY give themselves permission
to have their instinctual needs met:
Men: To be respected, admired, and lead with love and devotion
Women: To be contained with care and devotion,
and want to FOCUS ON THEIR OWN SIDE OF THE STREET
in order to help get their needs met.

No replays.

Learn how to Break the exhausting Infinite Loop of Conflict
and create harmony HERE.

Its official. 

As a general rule, we humans suck at boundaries. 

We either completely bulldoze over our boundaries to the point of abandoning ourselves due to the fawn response,
Or we are imprisoned by them and become reactive jerks. 

There’s an in between, and on this new “Manxiety” podcast episode with Dr. Russ Kennedy we discuss the top 3 questions I get when it comes to navigating this heavily nuanced topic. 

We use a funny example when he came over for dinner to illustrate the nuanced nature of fawning and boundaries. 

Without getting this right, we simply can’t experience relationships as fulfilling.

Watch/Listen here.

Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima.

____
P.S. Navigating relationships can often feel like walking through a maze blindfolded, especially when patterns of fawning and unclear boundaries take the lead. If you're sensing that cycle of giving too much and receiving too little, or if the fear of conflict keeps you from expressing your true self, our workshop might be the turning point you need. 

In our "From Fawning to Secure Boundaries Workshop," we explore: 

• The roots of fawning behaviors: Understand where they come from and why they persist. 
• The power of boundaries: Learn to establish them in a way that respects both you and others. 
• The dance of push and pull: Find balance between closeness and personal space. 
• The language of conflict: Turn arguments into pathways for greater intimacy. 
• The shift from anxiety to assurance: Replace relationship insecurity with self-reliance.

With each concept, we'll dive deep with Neurosensory exercises, making sure these insights move from mind to muscle, becoming part of who you are, not just what you know. 

This isn't just another workshop—it's an invitation to change the way you engage with yourself and the people in your life. If you're ready to break free from old patterns and step into a world where you can trust yourself and your responses, join us Friday the 15th of March from 4-7 PST (7-10 EST)— which is Saturday the 16th at 11am in Sydney. For only $30–It's time to stop fawning and start living. 

ELEGANT BOUNDARIES ARE MASTERED HERE.

Summary

In this episode of the Manxiety Podcast, Dr. Russ Kennedy and Dr. Nima Rahmany discuss the importance of boundaries in interpersonal relationships. They define boundaries as an energetic limit that separates one's own needs and desires from those of others. The conversation explores the concept of fawning, a trauma response characterized by a reflexive desire to please others and prevent conflict. The hosts emphasize the need to establish and communicate boundaries to avoid resentment and maintain healthy relationships. They also discuss the role of symptoms as expressions of unmet boundaries and provide insights on how to navigate situations where boundaries are not respected. This conversation explores the importance of setting boundaries in relationships and the process of changing and renegotiating those boundaries. It emphasizes the need for self-compassion and understanding when setting boundaries and the potential for repair and growth in relationships. The discussion also touches on codependency, resentment, and the impact of childhood experiences on boundary-setting. The conversation concludes with a workshop announcement on how to develop secure boundaries and advocate for oneself in relationships.

Takeaways

• Boundaries are an essential aspect of healthy interpersonal relationships.
• Fawning is a trauma response characterized by a reflexive desire to please others and prevent conflict.
• Symptoms can be seen as expressions of unmet boundaries.
• Setting and communicating boundaries is crucial to avoid resentment and maintain healthy relationships.
• When boundaries are not respected, it is important to assess the situation and have open, honest conversations about values and priorities.