March Bradness

This week, the sun is out in New York. This absolutely does not influence Hannah & Sarah's in-depth analysis of Brad Pitt's roles as JD in Thelma & Louise, and War Daddy in Fury. We VERY SERIOUSLY and VERY METICULOUSLY compare these two films, like you've come to expect from this peer reviewed, scholarly podcast. The fact that this episode is 25 minutes long instead of the usual 45-60 does not reflect on the fact that the sun is out. It reflects on our superior editing skills. Thank you. Have a nice day.

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All the Pretty Horses is a novel written by Cormac McCarthy about a young Texas ranch hand. It's also an audiobook – and guess who narrated it. No, it's not Matt Damon (although he did star in the movie). No, it's not Obama (good guess). Alright, we'll just tell you. It's a young, scrappy, straight-outta-the-wild-west... Brad Pitt.

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Get ready for our youngest, fastest pitting yet. Brad Pitt in Across the Tracks just wants to get a track scholarship to Stanford. Brad Pitt in Cutting Class wears double collars and just wants to make out with his girlfriend. Both face obstacles – some more deadly than others. Meanwhile, Hannah gets a text from her dental hygienist, and Sarah spends a lot of time cackling.

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Word on the street is that Tiffany Haddish met Brad Pitt in an elevator, where he told her he's taking a year-long vow of celibacy. Is it true?? Could it be?? Resident Brad experts Hannah & Sarah weigh in. Plus... World of Warcraft? Can monks jerk off? And other important questions.

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It's here... it's sweaty... it's got no shirt on... it's Brad Pitt in Fight Club. It's ALSO Brad Pitt in Kalifornia. Tyler Durden goes up against Earl the serial killer in a battle of the Brad's. We hope you're ready to find out the winner – and this time, we have scorecards, so it's official.

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Folks... we're about to shake things up a bit. After a bit of advice from friend-of-the-show Alex Blumberg, we're making things official with scorecards. Are we finally defining Bradness? Will Brad's butt have an effect on the final decision? The answers... may surprise you.

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Johnny Suede goes up against True Romance in a battle of the slackers. In Johnny Suede, Brad Pitt stars as a struggling musician who just can’t get his act together despite his perfectly coiffed hair. In True Romance, Brad appears as a well-meaning stoner who keeps wrecking everyone’s plans. Only one will bumble his way to the finish line.

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We made this joke last week – and as you know, we're VERY dedicated to following through on jokes. It's why this podcast exists. So join us this week we ponder the question: If Brad Pitt was a frog, kind of frog would he be?

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It's Patrick Dempsey madness this week on March Bradness. Is he McDreamy or McSteamy? Is Sarah a massive Drarry shipper? How many monkeys are even in Twelve Monkeys? Plus – we talk about Brad Pitt a little.

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It's not a journey. Every journey ends, but we go on. The world turns and we turn with it. Plans disappear... dreams take over. That's right... we're talking about Brad Pitt's Chanel No. 5 ad. And we're pitting it against his Pringles commercial – because why not?

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