Mark and Will Make a Sports Film

Tennis ace, Naomi Osaka, and Hollywood auteur, Wes Anderson, serve up a wildcard, Grand Slam entry to the Sports Film collection. Spoiler alert: it's total nonsense. Stop motion glitches, sponsored lobster, Wycliff Jean in a significant acting role, and about as much actual tennis content as any of our other films.

Boxing, bomb-disposal, Beefeaters and blue movies abound in this blockbuster biopic of Amir Khan, brought to life by Kathryn Bigelow. From Bolton to Las Vegas, featuring characters like: 'Fox, the bounty hunter', 'Eagle, the trainer' and 'Mrs Candy Truppelgang' (played by Charles Dance), this is a wonderful story for none of the family.

A film by Quentin Tarantino, need we say more? We probably should. American golfer Phil Mickelson takes on environmentalists, badgers and the golfing authorities with an arsenal of automatic weapons in a sweary, violent new classic of the sportsfilm genre. Travolta. Waltz. Walken. Streisand. Foxx. Why not.

Maggie Alphonsi was just your average schoolgirl in Victorian England, until the day she met Emily Scarratt… Told over 150 years, with a very mixed bag of a cast, Academy Award winning writer-director Jane ‘Campy’ Campion brings you a story of young love, treacle tarts and the miracle of birth (of the game of rugby).

Crafty cockney batsman Cook has to assemble a crack squad of criminal-cum-cricketers to steal the Ashes from underneath Australia’s noses. Guy Ritchie (actually us though) brings his trademark no-holds barred filmmaking style to the story of England’s meekest ever skipper. Will they be stumped and get caught, or will they retire happy?

7 events. 7 hours to go. 7(ish) friends. Dame Jess wakes up hungover in Cornwall. Her mission: get to Super Saturday on time. The problem? Her Russian rival will stop at nothing to deRAIL her. Directed by Gurinder Chadha of Bend It Like Beckham fame, Ennis is the second star to be Sportsfilmed by Mark & Will. Will her spotless reputation survive it?

Ole Gunnar Solskjær is the first to get the 'Mark and Will' treatment. We pair the baby-faced assassin with Inception director Christopher Nolan to create an over-complicated, multi-layered sports film that no-one asked for.