Mashed Feelings

By Tushmita Sahu

Hello Dear listeners!

Welcome to the podcast of mashed feelings, I heartily welcome you all in this wonderful journey, I hope you enjoy the process along with me of poetries and baatein behisaab.

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FAQs about Mashed Feelings:

How many episodes does Mashed Feelings have?

The podcast currently has 47 episodes available.

Mashed Feelings episodes:

June 08, 2024 Episode 38- Like a lone Wolf!
Like a lone Wolf!
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2min
May 16, 2024 Episode 37- You could have done better for us!
Betting on you for a year,
Pardoning you for every mistake you made,
Only to know:
Your words were voiceovers of some books you read.

I was again at fault for seeing potential,
In your inconsistencies.
I should have realised that you would never be,
The one I wanted to have.

Glitters in my veins have been seen by very few,
And I made you touch them,
But I know a dacade later,
you're gossiping with your wife about us,
The way you did with me.

My failed attempts to explain to you,
And your rage suppressing me every single moment,
I didn't want it from the beginning,
And you stayed so inconsistent,
That I don't miss you,
Yet I can't figure out what were we,
Because it's hurting me now.

You wished to marry me since the time we talked,
But I longed to be treated differently than others.

You never thought beyond a trophy,
And I wanted everything,
I couldn't fit in your matchbox,
I felt so foolish and not myself,
I wanted to be understood,
Read thoroughly, like a PHD thesis,
But you overlooked the nuances of us,
And I blame myself for not being the one you needed.

It felt like imprisoned in someone's shadow again,
Contradicting me-
You said I was free,
But I knew I could never fly with you.
You could have done it better,
If your actions led us,
where your words had,
shown me dreams of rebuilding my broken castle.
Round and round,
Visionless dreams,
But it looked like I'd have to give up everything to be with you.

You talked about building a home,
See the sky from where I was,
You would see me chasing things people said I'd never have,
But your view was myopic,
You wanted kids,
And I raised many.
I had to regrow the vandalised me,
You could have done better for us,
But you only thought about yourself.

I'm always re-reading the same page,
Why me?
And you weaponized your incompetency,
You did exactly what I asked you not to.
I can't even scream now,
Because my voice is sunk somewhere deep in my chest,
I'm having a boil,
With a resting bitch face.

And my calm would threaten everyone around me,
Sometimes I feel like I'm the flesh all these animals are looking for,
And the blood dripping from my body,
Cues them of my open wounds,
So they use their best weapons,
To butcher me.

Unknowingly, I'm drowning again in the seashore,
This time my mausoleum is built from the sand,
You promised me to rebuild my c
astle.
I'm not exasperated, but exhausted,
You could have done better for us.
-Tushmita Sahu
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#poetry #mashedfeelings
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4min
April 27, 2024 Episode 36- Am I allowed to scream!
Am I allowed to scream or
Am I screaming too loud?
I want to cry,
But my emotions are buried,
Stomped by everyone,
I had possibly asked for help!

Where do people go when,
They don't see the light?
Does their darkness hides them,
Or are they never found again?

Why am I this person,
Healer to everyone,
And sabotager for myself.

Where's the love they talked about,
They saw me in haze,
And left me in grave.

World sees me as being productive,
In an era filled with confidence and grace,
And nobody knows how I monstrously read to cope with sadness.

See me for who I am?
See, my scars are still so fresh!
And everyone believes it's from dating the wrong men!

They visited for a short while,
But why did you engrave your name,
By scuffing it atrociously.
whenever they were jammed up in life.
They Paraded me around their worries,
And acted like a wellwisher in my grief,
Where are they when I am screaming for help,
Where are they when all I need is someone to listen to me.

My nerves are too tired to fight against them,
My strength is occupied surviving the trauma.
Of the battles I survived.
They see nothing,
While I see everything so clearly,
I'm feeling tired,
I might just sleep,
I'm sorry for being so loud,
I speak, so
much only when I'm falling apart
Was I too loud?
Was I screaming so much!
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2min
April 27, 2024 Episode 35- To the boy I loved!
To the boy I loved..
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2min
April 06, 2024 Episode 34- तुम वो हो..
#women #patriarchy #life #love #toxicity #relationships #mentalhealth
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3min
April 03, 2024 Episode 33- Why is it difficult to say NO?
This episode talks about why is it so difficult to say NO.
#mentalhealth #sayingno #no #mashedfeelings #life #podcast #healing #anxiety #depression #trauma
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11min
March 14, 2024 Episode 32- Silent Women!
#silentwomen #women #domesticviolence #abuse #violence # empowerment #life #awareness
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4min
March 07, 2024 Episode 31 - For the ones who had no time to heal!
#selfhelf #mentalhealthawareness #life #anxiety
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8min
February 26, 2024 Episode 30- घर!
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...more
2min
February 06, 2024 Episode 29- For the people who have been hurt alot in life!
#Mentalhealth # Mashedfeelings
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5min

FAQs about Mashed Feelings:

How many episodes does Mashed Feelings have?

The podcast currently has 47 episodes available.