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In this week’s episode, I chat with Tantra facilitator and sexological bodyworker Jason King. We explore the question: What is intimacy?—especially in the context of sexual connection. Our conversation dives into vulnerability, and how intimacy often requires us to take emotional risks, even when there’s a chance of rejection.

Jason shares how many men default to a hyper-masculine approach to sex, and how true intimacy can often feel more soft, open, and even feminine. He talks about one of his personal kinks—eye gazing—and how intense and revealing that experience can be. We also examine how social media and dating apps can lead us to perform and curate an image, when in reality, the awkward, unpolished version of ourselves is often more attractive and real.

Together, we explore how we can begin practicing intimacy in our friendships and deepen emotional connections outside of sex. Jason shares insights on what it means to energetically open up—whether that’s in the context of bottoming or simply being emotionally available—and how Tantra can be a powerful practice for this. We also offer some practical tips for men who are looking to build more authentic intimacy in their lives.

You can find Jason on social media

Instagram: @embodied_eros

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In this episode, I chat with Firefly Tantra, who works with men using the practice of Tantra. He breaks down what sessions with clients actually look like, how Tantra compares to somatic sex coaching, and where the two overlap. We talk about dealing with shame when it shows up during sex—something we’ve both seen in our own lives and in our work. We also get into body image and how, in the gay community, there’s a lot of pressure to look perfect, even though looking good doesn’t necessarily mean you’re great in bed. We touch on substance use during sex, and how if we really want deeper connections, it might be time to start practicing social skills in real life instead of relying on the apps. Toward the end, we talk about open relationships and share some of our own experiences with them.

You can find Firefly on social media

Instagram: @fireflytantra

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In this episode, I have the pleasure of chatting with the funny and delightful Matthew Shur. We talk about our experiences working with Himeros and how each of us found our way into the world of porn. We also explore how performance can enhance sex—especially when we're truly connected to our bodies. The conversation touches on burlesque as a celebration of self-love, and how it's about loving your body while inviting others to witness and enjoy that love. We also discuss the reality of performance anxiety in porn and what that can look like for performers. Matthew shares some powerful stories about helping porn stars tap into deeper intimacy on set.

You can find Matthew on social media

Instagram: @matthewshur

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I had a truly meaningful conversation with my friend Rahim Thawer that I’m excited to share. We explored a wide range of topics, all rooted in the theme of empathy. How do we connect with people we disagree with? What does activism look like in the digital age? And how do we navigate the everyday trauma of simply being human in today’s world? On a lighter note, we also talked about joy—what it looks like, how we access it—and even asked the playful question: “Does Taylor Swift feel more joy than the rest of us?” Maybe she does—who knows? My hope is that this conversation leaves you with a reminder: we all need to be more mindful of one another, to seek connection before passing judgment on why someone holds the beliefs they do or makes the choices they make.

You can find Rahim on social media

Instagram: @the.politicized.practitioner

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My friend Priscilla Mossy Stone joins me to chat about their story of coming out, going to conversion therapy, and finding their way to drag. We discuss how social norms of masculinity and femininity can keep men in a small box of rules to live by. Both of us found that by expressing all parts of ourselves, and finding some inspiration from pop divas, can give us a greater sense of freedom. Mossy is such a delight and beautiful storyteller in this episode about the ups and downs of practicing authenticity.

You can find Mossy on social media

Instagram: @mossylovesbooks

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I met my friend Jean-Francois a few years ago when we were both fairly new yoga teachers. We reconnected after our yoga paths both crossed into the world of eroticism. We chat about how those tools that we found in a spiritual and physical practice can translate into sex and connection. In this episode we also dive into the topic of body image and how we both struggle at times with how we feel in our skin. We discuss how it is in our daily practices and mindfulness that we can move through a lot of shame and get to that side of pleasure and freedom.

You can find JF on social media;

Instagram: @jfatawakenstudioto

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In this episode I am joined by my friend Don Shine, who is a coach/body worker and retreat facilitator for the Body Electric school. At the time of recording this episode it was the week of the American inauguration for Donald Trump. We discuss how to deal with the uncertainty and real fear our communities are facing in these times. We talk about our experiences growing up in rural communities and how that shaped who we are, and how we treat other people. We also touch on the importance of kindness and how that makes others feel.

You can find Don on the socials and his website;

Instagram: @donshine74

Website: donshine.net

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In this episode I am joined by my friend Michael DeCorte. We both share our experiences of struggling with addiction and how it’s changed over the years. Michael had recently turned 50 when we recorded this episode and we chat about how it feels to get older in the gay community. We reflect back on heavy partying days and how that still shaped us to be who we are now. Our love of yoga and Madonna becomes becomes a bit of a theme throughout our conversation for the Ray of Light fans out there.

You can find Michael on social media and make sure to check out a yoga class of his in Toronto;

Instagram: @michaeldecorte

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In this episode I am joined by my friend and collaborator, Karim. We discuss how certain social settings are not for us, and how we tend to like deeper and more meaningful conversations. This leads us to how we enjoy getting to know people on this level through our work, social media, and being outspoken. I enjoyed recording this so much and it was one of the reasons I wanted to start this podcast. It’s important to have these conversations to see and understand different perspectives. We also get into talking about what it’s actually like to make porn, and how there is a level of intimacy with photographer and model.



Karim is a talented artist and you can find his work here;

Instagram: @alkjadavji @grasped3.0

Youtube: @alkarimjadavji

Website: alkjadavji.com

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Hi there! I'm Vance Hedman and I am a somatic intimacy coach based out of Toronto, Canada. I wanted to start this podcast to have deeper conversations with the other queer people in my life. I can't wait for everyone to hear the first episode out in March!

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