Matinee Manatees

For the spookiest month of the year (I guess?) the manatees are diving into halloween flippers-first with 1991's Ernest Scared Stupid. Do you guys remember Ernest? The character created by Jim Varney was ubiquitous during his heyday, appearing in ten movies, his own tv show, and dozens if not hundreds of commercials. And now, this podcast! Float along for insights into monster hunting, treehouse defense system savings tips, and the similarities between Ernest Worrell and Freddy Krueger. Also, trolls.

The manatees finally start watching movies from this millennium with 2001's Evolution, directed by Ivan Reitman and starring David Duchovny, Orlando Jones, Julianne Moore, and Seann William Scott. It doesn't super hold up, but, y'know, whatever. Ben rants about Evolution... and vaccines... and the shape of the earth. Sam theorizes about Seann William Scott's career trajectory. Both provide a tantalizing glimpse into the military strategies of a manatee nation united. It's a good time all around.

This month the manatees are checking out Brandon Lee's tragic last film, The Crow. Directed by Alex Proyas and starring Brandon Lee, Ernie Hudson, Bai Ling, Tony Todd, and featuring the triumphant return of Michael Wincott, the guy with the voice from Robin Hood! Discussion points include whether or not Shelley shoulda been the Crow, Sting (the wrestler, not the singer), alternate casting (Tommy Wiseau!), a spec script for a fifth sequel written by yours truly, and the practicality of pooping out bullets.

This month the manatees are revisiting 1997's The Fifth Element, directed by Luc Besson and starring Bruce Willis and Milla Jovovich!  Ben and Anthony discuss age appropriate relationships, the logistics of murphy appliances, and the problem of too many Chris's to eventually solve that age old riddle: what do you mix with breath, sweat, sand, and matches to make lasers? (Hint: it's smoochin'.)  Come float with us!

Redesignated simply "Zilla" by insulted fans of the series, Roland Emmerich's 1998 adaptation Godzilla stars Matthew Broderick, Hank Azaria, Maria Pitillo, and Jean Reno, and wishes it was Jurassic Park, which it very much is not. It is seventeen hours long and features several lizards. Fish! Boats! Simpsons voice actors! Guys named Jean! All of these things are in this movie. So. There's that?

We're doing 90s remakes of 30s pulps again! 1994's The Shadow directed by Russell Mulcahy and starring Alec Baldwin, is a strange, strange film. Join the manatees as they gush over Ian McKellen and Tim Curry's supporting roles, start suggesting edits almost from minute one, demonstrate an embarrassing lack of nuclear physics knowledge, and repeatedly struggle and fail to not call it The Phantom. Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? But the ice is slippery! ... Wait. No. That's not how that goes.

We're starting 2019 off with the moderately notorious 2001 summer blockbuster Tomb Raider! Starring Angelina Jolie and Daniel Craig a little bit. But is it really as bad as people say? (Hint: yeah.) Float along with us as we force ourselves to finish this movie and take frequent breaks to talk astronomy, dream houses, and virtually anything else we can come up with to not focus on this movie. ... This one was kind of exhausting, guys. But! Listener choice episode coming up next month!

We're back on our vampire kick with 1994's classic(?) Interview With The Vampire, written by Anne Rice, directed by Neil Jordan, and starring Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, a young Kirsten Dunst, and Antonio Banderas for like a hot minute. As a free bonus, you'll also get the manatees' grim prediction of when the book series may have jumped the shark, Sam's long war with films' portrayal of piano playing, and a summary of Ben's spec script for a vampire cowboy movie. FOR FREE!

Quite possibly the most macho movie ever made, 1993's western Tombstone stars EVERYONE, including several stars we've seen on Matinee Manatees before. Tony has suspicions about lightning, Ben accidentally reveals what he looks for in a spouse, both gush over Doc Holliday, and everybody has a pretty good time. Float along with us to Arizona 1881 from the comfort of your own bed, listen from the beginning to hear how things are going with the charity or skip to minute 8 if you hate podcast updates, and enjoy!

1996's The Phantom is directed by Simon Wincer, stars Billy Zane, is widely reviled, and is actually awesome. We'll tell you how, and it's definitely not only because we're in love with Billy Zane. That's admittedly part of it, but. It's only... it's only about 80% because we're in love with Billy Zane. Float along with us for fun facts about the comics, embarrassing ignorance of basic geology, and a hypothetical casting choice that would have made this movie truly legendary.