Maybe Different isn't Wrong

Why is it so dang hard to start things? So many reasons! I don't know where to start. This is going to be hard. I don't wanna. I seem to have turned into human sludge and can't seem to do anything other than scroll? Starting can be the hardest part, so hosts Sarah and Heather walk you through the "Greatest Hits" of why we have trouble starting things AND how we can make it much easier to get ourselves going. Listen to learn: - How to figure out exactly where to start - How to get yourself feeling good about starting - How to check your expectations and attitude so doing things is easier and less awful - What Legos have to do with clarity and confidence

Follow @maybedifferentisntwrong for hot tips, golden nuggets of wisdom and video clips from this episode!

Have you ever thought, "Omg this is a simple thing. Why can't I just do it?!?!"

There's a reason "easy" things can be so hard for those of us with neurodivergent brains.

And it's not because you suck.

It's because we often don't recognize what executive disfunction looks or feels like irl.

We just think we can't get our sh*t together, but the reality is that we can't do what some other people do with ease because of how our brains work. It's a biological reality that our brains function differently.

Which, to be honest, can be really frustrating.

A lot of modern life is heavy on executive functioning. BUT! It's a lot easier to navigate when we don't mistake ADHD for personal failings, and when we learn to work with our brains to get things done.

Listen to learn:

• How to recognize executive disfunction when it shows up in your life
• How to work with your neurodivergent brain to get stuff done
• And how to not be endlessly critical and frustrated while doing so
• Wtf a Wall of Awful is, and how it's really helpful

Did you know that being bad at some things is a very good idea?

Allow us to introduce you to strategic incompetence - choosing to be bad at some things so you have more resources for the things you actually care about.

Because we live in a world that's all about perfectionism, we think we should be able to do all the things well all the time.

But also, we're human beings and we have limited time and energy. We cannot possibly be competent at all the things all the time! So, it can be really helpful to decide what you want to purposely be incompetent at in favor of what you really care about.

Listen to learn:

• How to feel good about being incompetent at some things (spoiler alert: you're already incompetent at so many things and it doesn't bother you!)
• How to strategically choose what to be incompetent at
• How to not judge yourself for not being a perfect robot instead of being a human
• What a fancy monkey is

Follow @maybedifferentisntwrong for golden nuggets of wisdom and video clips from this episode!

Sometimes meeting ourselves where we're at isn't convenient. Sometimes meeting ourselves where we're at means slowing down.

Which we really don't like to do.

But when we move through our lives at Kool-Aid speed, we bash ourselves into brick walls. We literally hurt ourselves.

If we don't want to miss out on the goodness available in our lives right now, if we don't want to make hasty slap-dash decisions, we gotta learn to slow down. Even when slowing down can feel super frustrating, lame or even weirdly scary.

Listen to learn:

• Why we think faster/more = better
• The sweet sweet benefits of joining the slow club
• How we can learn to slow ourselves down
• How Sarah tried going from 0 to jiu-jitsu and destroyed herself

Follow @maybedifferentisntwrong for golden nuggets of wisdom and to watch Heather do an impression of a firecracker.

Listen. If you want to have a better easier time being a human, celebrating yourself is one of the most valuable skills you can learn. It's not just some cheesy woo-woo thing. It's a life-saving skill.

Listen to learn:

• How celebrating little stuff pays off big time (supported by science and facts!)
• Why humans are not great at celebrating
• How to start celebrating if you're resistant or don't even know where to start

Make sure to follow our Instagram @maybedifferentisntwrong for delightful videos of us recording, videos of what didn't make the episode, and to get in touch with us. If you have questions about selfebration, slide on in those DMs!

Hosts Sarah and Heather have taken some major relationshits in their lives, and they're sharing their biggest flops.

Listen to learn: - How relationships never actually make us feel better about ourselves - The truth about mind reading (hint: you can't) - How to not take things personally

If you've ever set a goal and thought, "When I achieve this, my life will finally be so much better!" this episode is for you.

If you've ever thought that if you just achieve ______ goal, you'll finally be okay with yourself, this episode is for you.

That's what goaling your way to self acceptance is: trying to achieve our way to feeling better about ourselves. The only problem with this is that it never ever works, we bring so much misery upon ourselves, and we're so much less likely to achieve the goal at all.

Listen to hear:

• delightful tales of disasterous attempts at trying to goal our way to self acceptance
• how believing a goal is the answer to happiness actually makes you miserable
• and how much easier and more fun it is to make the decision to accept yourself up front

If you could use some support , we can help. To learn about working with us as coaches, check out www.maybedifferentisntwrong.com. Let's be friends on Instagram! Check Sarah out at @crushing_adulthood and Heather's at @theheathercollins

There's a time and place for goals, and sometimes that time and place is NOT NOW and NOT HERE! Sarah and Heather are approaching the whole goals thing differently this year. - No long lists of things to fix about themselves. - No immense habit shifts with expectations of instant perfection. - And most importantly, no trying to use goals to make themselves more "acceptable." If you've tried to do a ton of goals at once, if you've thought you should become an entirely different person overnight, and if you try to goal your way to self acceptance, you're gonna wreck yourself.

Listen to learn how we can approach making goals for the year without setting upselves up for wreckage, and how self acceptance plays a huge part in succeeding at goals.

2022 had a whole lot to teach us, and we're sharing our wisest learntings!

Having a whole second child, getting a gnarly concussion, soul-draining work situations, doing things that, for all intents and purposes, seem totally impossible. Those were some of our teachers in the hellscape that was 2022.

Listen to learn:

• What surrender actually looks like (which is very not what we thought)
• How to do things that seem impossible
• How to get something genuinely valuable out of shitty experiences without gaslighting yourself
• How to tap into your inner Wiz (which has nothing to do with pee)
• How to give yourself closure

If you're struggling , we can help. To learn about working with us as coaches, check out www.maybedifferentisntwrong.com.

Let's be friends on Instagram! @crushing_adulthood and @theheathercollins

Sarah and Heather each got diagnosed with ADHD as adults.

When we get a diagnosis of any kind, it can be such a relief. Suddenly, you have a whole new framework through which to view yourself. Maybe it's not that you're a lazy pile of crap, maybe you just have ADHD!

But, a diagnosis will only get you so far. If you're if you're in the habit of thinking you're trash, a diagnosis won't fix those thought patterns. In this episode, Sarah and Heather talk about the true game-changer: diagnoses + acceptance.

Listen to learn:

• What happens when you learn that so much of what you thought were personal failings is actually just ADHD
• How to face, accept and work with our differences
• What it's like when Heather is unhinged. It's really something...

If you're struggling with self acceptance or with ADHD, we can help. To learn about working with us one-on-one, check out www.maybedifferentisntwrong.com.

Let's be friends on Instagram! @crushing_adulthood and @theheathercollins