1. "McDonald's Dumps Salads, Customers Cheer!"

2. "Smoky BLT Burger Returns: McDonald's Fans Go Wild!"

3. "Kit Kat Meets Banana Split in McDonald's Shocking New McFlurry!"

4. "Loonie for Coffee? McDonald's Canada's Dollar Deal Causes Frenzy!"

5. "Gitmo's Secret Weapon: World's Best McDonald's Serves Killer Wings!"

6. "Wienerschnitzel's Big Lie: Hot Dog Chain's Meaty Deception Exposed!"

7. "Taco Bell's Early Bird Special: Retire at 21 in Fast Food Paradise!"

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