Mel Talks Sovereign

Black Mind is a series created to provide more Black men a platform to share their perspectives. We need to hear more from them and to better understand them.

In this sit down, Charles answers: Would you say more Black men are living and operating from a survival mode/mentality than not? And how so/why is that the case? Can you take us into the mind of Black men, from your perspective? Is the thought of survival and provision a constant, daily concern? What do you feel is needed to improve Black men’s odds in life? In America? In Relationships?  

Tune in for some insightful discussion!  

Register FREE to join us for part 3 this upcoming Monday:  https://www.eventbrite.com/e/black-mi...​ 

You can check out Charle's blog here: https://quietthunder.blog/category/bl...​ 

Detroit Boyz Rock is an initiative of The Association for Youth Empowerment (AYE), dedicated to creating a world where young black men and boys are empowered to create and define for themselves what being a man is. They are clear that their own life has meaning and a purpose and, accordingly understand that they have a role that is necessary and vital in their community, in their family, in their schools and are responsible for maintaining, developing and expanding that role. The community needs them here, available and safe and cannot grow or prosper without them.  Please donate to support to amazing work being done to invest into our young Black men by visiting this link below. http://ayedetroit.org/programs/detroi...​

 Follow me on @2LoveABlackWoman

Black Mind is a series created to provide more Black men a platform to share their perspectives. We need to hear more from them and to better understand them.  

In this sit down, Charles shares with us: What do Black men need Black women to understand about Black men? What are the biggest struggles Black men face in life in general, and in relationships #BlackLove)? And, what are some of the unique challenges Black men experience dating Black women?  

Tune in for some insightful discussion!  

Register FREE to join us for part 2 this upcoming Tuesday:  https://www.eventbrite.com/e/148101183627 

You can check out Charle's blog here: https://quietthunder.blog/category/blackmenmatter/ Follow me on @2LoveABlackWoman

Business owners, parents, lovers, Sheldon & Gabrielle share:

4:39 The Four Year Chase. Meeting in college & finally reaching Yes. The timing may not always be right but that doesn’t mean it’s the wrong person. Scarcity increased demand 

9:55 Being young & in love. Growing through love’s phases as a young couple. The Food Bribe: Food makes everything better!

12:14 Big life decisions. Leaving a tight knit family and moving in with husband to be (her mom called it).

17:30 The best of being married is... 

22:22 Overcoming struggles as a couple. Man’s perspective on why men get married. “Love became our language.” Make it right first (When you make her mad make her glad to recover) 

29:06 Conversations before marriage. It’s work, but it’s what you make it. Seasons of a relationship.

32:09 The realities of Black Love & how the next generation can change it. #blacklovematters

Being equipped for your marriage, preparing your child for how to treat a future love interest & for the future, not giving too much of yourself to your spouse (have balance), marrying a BOSS woman, regrets, budgeting.

AND SO MUCH MORE!

Catch the Cannon’s full love story here: https://stopdatingblog.com/2021/03/12/the-cannons-love-story/

Robert (@tre_city) and Qiana (@_visualque) have known each other since 9th grade (almost 15 years) and they share:  

1:07 The shoe story.   

3:40 Calling it quits twice. MAN’s perspective: Being ready for a serious relationship at a young age. How a man KNOWS he’s ready.   

8:43 Becoming best friends while married.   

9:39 Overcoming communication & emotional barriers as a young couple.   

14:35 Advice before getting married! Getting married won’t fix it. “I don’t know why Black ppl are afraid of counseling”  The importance of having a safe space to process and express emotions, it’s not it slim pickings! More people just need to be serious, avoiding situationships.   

AND SO MUCH MORE!  

Read the full story here: https://stopdatingblog.com/2021/03/08/the-abrams-love-story/

Justin & Jacoree Gaines share:

3:54 reuniting after a 2 year breakup. Awkward at first, but addressing a lot left unsaid. An old head providing their confirmation in the parking lot out of nowhere.

10:35 A man’s perspective on mustering up the strength to express painful past experiences and emotions.

13:36 A woman reaching out first and not waiting for her man to fall in her lap (or be taken by someone else). It doesn’t matter who makes the connection first, what matters is both ppl putting in the work.

15:46 They say the wedding day is for show... I disagree. It’s not just for the bride.  Planning their wedding together.

21:53 Right person, wrong time. Fear of commitment? Once a cheater always a cheater “That’s not true.” Just don’t do it.

24:47 Best part of being married and how having a child changed that after both spouses have lost both parents. Being a couple once your kids go to sleep.

30:00 The importance of having two parent households

33:12 Working a side hustle while engaged and how it made for being better together.

37:39 Being head strong and learning to see things from your spouses point of view. Learning to be patient and how to effectively communicate.

Working on yourself, not being responsible for your spouses happiness, we don’t use the D word “Divorce”.

AND SO MUCH MORE!

Read/watch the full interview here: https://stopdatingblog.com/2021/02/28/the-gaines-love-story/

The purpose of this event is to have a space where Sheisart’s audience and others can talk about black love and its importance, unpacking the many layers of black love and what impacts our relationships with one another. There are many historical ties to the way black folks love each other today. In this conversation we want to talk about where people may be going wrong and where people may be going right and why, when it comes onto black love. This is because black love is needed, not just today on Valentine’s Day (date of this recording) but everyday day for the kids, for society, and for all.

DISCLAIMER: This is not a bash against black people dating outside of their race, but rather a focus on black love and how it can be improved for the future.

Jazzie & Melissa share so many gems:

1:16 How they met & connected after, from work friends to a fun night out at Karaoke

6:12 Deciding on values early in your relationship and being true to self. A word on compromise.

10:06 A word on Conflict and working through them.

*13:37 Step by step strategy to ensure success in your marriage. Address your shit ‼️

16:58 the best part of being married. Being vulnerable and overcoming one’s fears of divorce or their love not being reciprocated. Also, empowering your partner/spouse to walk in their truth

21:50 when both people are used to always being right and learning how to grow as a couple from two independent people. Learning how to experience conflict without giving up too soon and accepting you are wrong.

25:04 Leveling up with your spouse on finances. Having this hard talk.

Imposter syndrome, being Black, Queer, & Happily Married, putting appropriate considerations behind what you share: mentality, physically, emotionally, etc, appreciating singlehood, your grandma hates your grandpa (stop mimicking your grandparents), there is no perfect couple, unspoken expectations for your kids when you may come from struggle, as a Queer person you choose who your family is and forget gender roles

AND SO MUCH MORE

Read Published Article here: https://stopdatingblog.com/2021/02/23/the-muganzo-murphys-love-story/

Together since 16 🖤🤎, Gamoane & Deeona share:

4:16 Starting the @sincesixteenpodcast to have more honest conversations about marriage and love. You are not alone.

5:51 From middle school crushes to a mutual friend hookup one high school night this is the story of how they reconnected. A Classic R&B Love story.

17:00 Change in plans when Deeona gets accepted to an out of state college and leaves Gamone. The got from spending every day together to she’s gone in 2 weeks. Their long distance relationship starts falling apart when being faithful gets tested.

25:55 Conversations you should have when considering long distance relationships and how to handle cheating in a relationship.

30:49 Being diagnosed with Leukemia at 21 and dealing with this during not being together in their relationship after having a child. Gamone steps in and takes on the responsibilities of the man anyway sharing he knew “Whoever she was talking to didn’t have the same investment I had with her, we had a child together.”

38:11 Feeling numb dealing with life hardships and only getting more bad news. “I loved her but I didn’t like her.” Gamone on learning to become a caretaker and dealing with the side dudes.

51:59 Is there such a thing as being too honest with your spouse? Having the hard conversations on the regular and better understanding the man’s perspective.

58:00 Dealing with communication issues “I just shut down because I wasn’t being heard”.  And answering “Are breakups necessary?”

77:01 Don’t compare marriages. Not even to your own family. And be with someone who WANTS to be happy because you aren’t responsible for their happiness.

78:46 How slavery/our history impacts Black Love today. There are a lot of secrets and even comparisons on what it means to be able to do for your family.

AND SO MUCH MORE!

Catch the full interview on the website here: https://www.blackloverecovery.com/single-black-ladies/the-allens-love-story

Together from 13-30 (they met in middle school), Isaiah & Brittany Ellis share from their #Blacklove experiences:

2:16 “We were in class one day (middle school) and he told me, you know we going to get married one day...” And reuniting in high school.

3:16 Dealing with the fears of fatherhood (man’s perspective).

7:40 Letting down your walls (woman’s perspective). Some days it’s 50/50, 100/100, 60/40. Put pride aside and be vulnerable.

11:14 How to REALLY know your spouse loves you and they ain’t going nowhere and dealing with too much masculine energy in the beginning (woman’s perspective)

16:00 It’s different when you move in/live together.

19:25  Society doesn’t like to see #BlackLove. It’s deeper than just a Black man and Black woman being together.

20:35 Black culture on preparing for marriage. Black men don’t necessarily have the same opportunities to even consider having a family.

Loving the way your husband smells, the impacts of growing up in a custody battle during your childhood, men don’t be afraid to ask for what you need (prayer), don’t wait around and waste your time, and so much more!

Full Love Story/Youtube: https://www.blackloverecovery.com/single-black-ladies/the-ellis-love-story

Myer & Tiffany (LOVED THIS COUPLE) came READY TO SHARE:

1:07 Meeting online. When the woman makes the first move, and he tries not to mess up (awww). Being super direct (intentional) on the first date (no surprises) and winning a man’s respect. Be upfront with what you’re looking for sooner vs. later.

7:50 Dealing with the naysayers. Online dating? ❌ Number of kids? ❌ Other stereotypes and keeping people out of your business.

11:05 Changing perspective on online dating. It’s like an advertisement but here’s what people should really be looking for beyond the visual.

13:36 Working things out in your marriage and not seeking outside opinion.

15:29 Men transitioning from me to we. Getting remarried to someone who has never been married before. Learning patience and remaining loving even while upset.

17:41 The difference between a red flag and a test of your union. Dealing with your SO past relationships/ex. Some times it’s all in your head. Red flags of an abusive relationship.

21:54 The perks of being married and knowing when you’ve found The One (who supports your chocolate habits even if they don’t like it!)

26:07 A word on being forgiving in your marriage. And for men a word on empathy. Also a different way to handle issues in your marriage to avoid arguments. Kudos to the spouse who listens because you are ALWAYS learning in a marriage no matter how long you’ve been together even after 50 years.

29:29 First year of marriage was HORRIBLE. “I almost lost her.” The breaking point. The Myers get REAL real. Love the transparency. From praying for it all to go away to praying for your spouse.

39:57 The importance of being self aware in your marriage.

41:50 We are in our marriage bliss moment now, 3 years into marriage. It’s not always going to go the way you think.

42:42 Sex can get in the way. Do this first. Also the importance of disagreeing but still respecting each other.

49:38 Impacts of slavery on love and dating today. We still need to recover. Put more value on marriage. You don’t need a $10K wedding.

72:38 Seeing the value in your partner. If you don’t know the value of your partner your marriage is doomed to fail.

AND SO MUCH MORE. There’s a lot to learn from this couple so make sure you tune in!

Website: www.blackloverecovery.com 

IG: @2loveablackwoman  

Read the FULL Story Here: https://www.blackloverecovery.com/single-black-ladies/the-browns-love-story