Mel Talks Sovereign

Jacquez & Danielle share:

00:53 Meeting your future spouse after being stood up (on Valentine’s Day) and how a woman’s energy can attract positive results even after a disappointing situation. Then it gets awkward.

7:00 The best part of being married and having a support network. The essence of a Black man and chivalry not being dead. A beautiful written tribute from a wife to her husband 🖤

10:49 Destined to be together, starting a family young, and figuring out all of the firsts together. And the struggles of growing together. Strategies to make it last.

13:55 Struggles of starting a relationship young and growing through changes. What you love about your spouse can change as you go through different phases. Managing work, a newborn, and a relationship.

19:18 Advice for men who struggle with explaining/communication to their spouse. Adjusting to meet her needs. Advice or alpha women on trusting a man to lead and being submissive. Find your balance in love. There is no replacing a man.

26:48 A marriage is an empty box. Your marriage becomes what you put into the box. Figure out self traumas BEFORE pursuing marriage. Don’t unpeeled your trauma layers during a marriage. Self therapy comes before marriage therapy.

33:53 Black marriage is unique. Being married to a Black man comes with unique challenges for his safety. Finding love with a Black woman. Black love is resilient 🖤 Black love is not accurately portrayed on a large scale.

Fights becoming building blocks, don’t rush the process, be realistic with your expectations, a marriage is like driving a car on the highway. You don’t need to merge into each other’s lanes. Just be heading in the same direction.

AND SO MUCH MORE!

Danny & Briana’s Love story adds a new cultural layer to the meaning of #blacklove! They share:  

1:24 Meeting during a temporary job assignment/location, making eye contact and advice for women on making the first move to approach a man.   

6:43 Transitioning to a long distance relationship and making it work. Danny and Bri were VERY intentional about making long distance work. Learn what they did and how it actually helped them bond more.   

8:45 Meeting Danny’s family and understanding a different culture and overcoming language barriers.   

15:35 Marriage doesn’t mean your life is over. You both still have your own space and can have fun with your spouse.   

17:25 Sharing from different cultures. African and Black culture are two completely different things. Their page @dbmulenda is all about bridging the gap between two cultures for other singles.   

23:36 Adjusting to sharing the same space 24/7. And learning more about each other’s cultures. How marriage is different in African culture (two weddings)   

31:53 Hard conversations you should have and being intentional about learning your future spouse’s culture. There should be a college for marriage!  

35:37 Distinguishing the unique challenges the African and Black cultures experience. A word on cancel culture.   

Serving your spouse once you’re done enjoying your singleness, choosing the right spouse, get out of your comfort zone and manifesting. 

AND SO MUCH MORE!        

You can read the full article here: https://www.blackloverecovery.com/single-black-ladies/the-mulendas-love-story  

Website: www.blackloverecovery.com 

IG: @2loveablackwoman 

Podcast: https://anchor.fm/black-love-recovery/episodes/The-Mulendas-Love-Story-eofqps

Brian & Yuri Share:  

6:00 Transitioning from me to we. Men’s perspective from my way or the high way. Being mindful of your spouse’s contributions and not taking it for granted. Teamwork mindset.  

8:35 Communication and emotions. Writing helps with processing emotions and getting it out.  

12:10 Marriage is not a bad thing. See if it’s for you yourself and don’t do it because you’re being pressured. It’s not just about your partner. You have to be ready to do the work too.  

15:02 Things for men to consider before marriage. Talking about death.  

18:28 Love only goes so far. It’s important to want to make your commitment work and not just want each other. Handling heated conversations.  

21:47 Man’s perspective on reaching a place to effectively communicate with your spouse vs bottling it all in and having walls/being isolated. Addressing the happy wife happy life mentality.  

28:27 Black love is unique. Combating the self hate propaganda and other factors beyond our control and how it impacts our relationships and love for each other.  

31:30 The intentional breaking of a black man.  

40:36 A successful marriage requires YOU to make changes! Breakdown on what that really means.  

AND SO MUCH MORE!

Website: www.blackloverecovery.com 

IG: @2loveablackwoman

Full Article: https://www.blackloverecovery.com/single-black-ladies/the-scotts-full-love-story

Ahmad & Toya share: 

 10:10 When a man tells you he’s not ready. Respecting it even if you are disappointed. Honesty really is the best policy over ghosting and the lies, especially on the man’s part even if she hates you for it. It lays the foundation.   

15:00 Men tend to be retrospective in nature on these matters. Don’t mess up her good thing if you’re not ready.  

17:40 The relationship-job analogy. People can follow the work protocols of 2 week notices to maintain a good relationship. The same mentality should be in effect with relationships. Be willing to have honest conversation and give fair notice vs. allowing drama to damage the relationship.  

18:27 Reconnecting on chance after 1 year.  

22:50 Friendship is the best part of being married. Fighting for vs. against each other when things go south. Your best friend is the person you marry. Breaking out of the “yes” men circle (family and loved ones) and taking an honest look at self, going beyond the surface of dates and vacations. Growing in marriage. It can make you a better person.  

24:00 Transitioning your mindset to serving your spouse. Almost divorcing. It takes both spouses working on self for marriage to work. Battling the culture you grew up in.  28:50 Don’t floss. Be the same person you presented yourself to be while pursuing each other and be prepared to grow from there. Don’t have your spouse wondering who they married.  

30:47 Men talk on communication and flossing. Most women want authenticity and to feel needed. Get rid of the representative. Authority impresses the (right) woman who sees a partnership. Women are willing to get their hands dirty and put in the work too. Men need to stop letting pride get in the way of a woman helping. End toxic masculinity that’s killing to love between men and women. A woman is a HELPMATE. There’s nothing wrong with help because no one accomplishes anything by themselves.   

34:55 Importance of being intentional about rebuilding marriage. Intentional Bible study and family conferences to check in with each other. Intentional questions. Building friendship back up. Making things align in your marriage and modeling your marriage for success goes beyond checking couple stuff off your couple to-do list.  

59:54 Her submission is a treasure, a gift and no man is entitled to any gift. What environment are you setting up for her to feel safe and trusting of your leadership.  

When a man finds his good thing that becomes his world. Be the man who creates the environment for his wife to rest. The adoption analogy to marriage. Pre-marital sex (don’t do it!). Defining submission in marriage (it’s an US mentality and you can’t force it). Men needing to find more role models and community support on marriage because we need our Black Kings to learn how to create and work towards a successful marriage. Chemistry dies and being intentional even when you don’t feel like it is necessary. Being ready to commit and taking out the (actual) trash.  

AND SO MUCH MORE!  

You can read the full article here: https://www.blackloverecovery.com/single-black-ladies/the-simmons-love-story 

Website: www.blackloverecovery.com 

IG: @2loveablackwoman 

Podcast: https://anchor.fm/black-love-recovery/episodes/The-Simmons-Love-Story-eo4q20

.Glenn & Cherie share: 

 4:39 Creating a safe space in marriage for both to grow. Married, young and overcoming through major life changes together. Choosing to be committed and not having any examples to model after.  

7:40 Keep people out of your intimate things/marriage. It could backfire.  

9:44 How we knew we were meant to be together/ right for each other.  

12:00 Marriage struggles. Infidelity and infertility. Couples therapy. Man’s perspective on learning to communicate and being the peace. Being intentional and becoming the example they didn’t have.  

14:36 Have a plan B for when things don’t go according to plan.  

16:34 Letting ego and pride go. Sacrifice and compromise. Balancing responsibilities. What tone do you want to set for your marriage? When one spouse manages something better.   

19:00 You don’t have to win at everything. Don’t always need a comeback. Picking your battles. Power in the tongue and what you say or don’t say. Learning to take how your wife feels seriously from man’s perspective.  

20:40 Setting the tone for marriage from both man's and woman's perspective.  

23:30 The man’s perspective on how to become a better communicator, growing up in a society that tells men don’t be weak. Men have feelings and it doesn't make him less of a man. Learning to speak her love language. Don’t be so defensive with your wife. Older generation men not talking about feelings. 

27:57 Turning marriage experiences into a ministry. Counseling is ok. Pray and counseling is ok. Having the fairytale wedding mentality then realizing it’s not. Needed conversations on challenges others may need help in having. Silent killers in marriage. Getting closer through struggles. Setting the example for even older couples when been together longer. Breaking generational curses.  

32:00 Helping others through tough conversations such as infidelity. It doesn’t have to be a deal breaker. Creating more platforms on working through harder problems and topics people go through everyday but have no safe space to address.   

35:09 On getting married young. Get a good sense of self. Experience happiness in marriage but it's not your partners job to make you happy. Do therapy. It’s okay to make mistakes and you’re not a “failure”. Make your marriage a safe space.  

37:18 Getting married is easy. Staying married is the hard part. The ring doesn’t change who you are as a person or your ethics or love for each other. You should already be that man or woman you need to be for your spouse. Do not go into marriage expecting yourself or your spouse to change.  

AND SO MUCH MORE!  

You can read the full article here: https://www.blackloverecovery.com/single-black-ladies/the-fowlers-love-story 

Website: www.blackloverecovery.com 

IG: @2loveablackwoman

Kam & Nicole share:  

11:40 The almost proposal  13:28 Healing from the pain of past marriages as individuals and while dating. Also realizing your worth & the waiting process  17:08 Combating men's "microwave" mentality from a man's perspective. A man goes after what he wants.  

18:25 How friendships make courtship more beautiful and helps it last. Laying the right foundation for when you're not always intimate with each other (don't get in your feelings). The importance of liking your partner.  

24:50 How to love after traumatic experiences. The healing process and reopening to love again. Church hurt.  

30:20 Dealing with hurt from people who realize they misjudged you as a Christian.  

33:00 Getting caught up & living a facade. If it's not right staying will only make it worse. Good men suffer from toxic women too.  

39:00 When your new husband reveals he's lied to you shortly after your wedding. Being faithful even in sickness. Letting go & forgiveness.  

46:00 Advice for men. Dealing with a materialistic partner.  

52:00 Men need to learn how to heal. Not dealing with your past hurt will cause you to miss your blessing.  

AND SO MUCH MORE!  

Visit the website to subscribe and learn more stories from different couple's perspectives.  

Read full article here: https://www.blackloverecovery.com/single-black-ladies/the-howards-love-story  

Website: www.blackloverecovery.com 

IG: @2loveablackwoman  

Connect with Nicole: Website: www.respectmyroyalty.com 

Podcast: https://respectmyroyalty.com/queen-up​ 

YouTube: Respect My Royalty