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In this episode, I sit down with Melissa Duge Speirs to talk about her debut memoir Holy Disobedience, releasing March 31. Melissa shares what it was like growing up in a Seventh-day Adventist environment shaped by end-times fear, behavioral control, and purity culture, and how that framework shaped everything from identity to autonomy. Together, we unpack the “double coming of age” that so many survivors experience, first inside the system, and then again when they leave and have to rebuild their understanding of truth, self, and safety from scratch. 

We also move into the deeper, often unspoken aftermath: discussing more about how high control religious environments become embedded into the body, into relationships, into self-worth. From “pretty pain” and the performance of palatable suffering to self-sabotage, shame, and reclaiming sexuality and voice, this conversation doesn’t soften the edges. Melissa opens up about her path to healing, the realities of breaking generational control, and the grueling, gatekept journey to getting this book published after decades of trying. This is a conversation about courage, clarity, and what it looks like to finally stop making pain look acceptable and start telling the truth out loud.

For those that want to be on the podcast make sure to reach out—link in the show notes.
Pre-roll music is composed by Joanna Whaley

For those who want to subscribe to my Patreon please look at the show notes for more information
Music composed by Joanna Whaley

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This podcast contains the personal accounts, thoughts, and opinions of guests. Focus on Your Own Family podcast will not be held liable for the personal feelings, and accounts of their guests. Focus on your Own family podcast holds itself to the highest level of integrity, and the reporting that we do in this podcast to a very high standard.  We believe in showing evidence, and letting people draw their conclusions from that evidence.

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INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC
Scott Buckley "Omega"
COMMERCIAL MUSIC
Composed by Joanna Whaley