Focus On Your Own Family

Send us Fan Mail

SUPPORT THE PODCAST I am on substack where you can get more of my perspective and story. I have to keep the lights on somehow and supporting my substack supports my podcast.

In this episode, I sit down with Melissa Duge Speirs to talk about her debut memoir Holy Disobedience, releasing March 31. Melissa shares what it was like growing up in a Seventh-day Adventist environment shaped by end-times fear, behavioral control, and purity culture, and how that framework shaped everything from identity to autonomy. Together, we unpack the “double coming of age” that so many survivors experience, first inside the system, and then again when they leave and have to rebuild their understanding of truth, self, and safety from scratch. 

We also move into the deeper, often unspoken aftermath: discussing more about how high control religious environments become embedded into the body, into relationships, into self-worth. From “pretty pain” and the performance of palatable suffering to self-sabotage, shame, and reclaiming sexuality and voice, this conversation doesn’t soften the edges. Melissa opens up about her path to healing, the realities of breaking generational control, and the grueling, gatekept journey to getting this book published after decades of trying. This is a conversation about courage, clarity, and what it looks like to finally stop making pain look acceptable and start telling the truth out loud.

For those that want to be on the podcast make sure to reach out—link in the show notes.
Pre-roll music is composed by Joanna Whaley

For those who want to subscribe to my Patreon please look at the show notes for more information
Music composed by Joanna Whaley

Support the show

This podcast contains the personal accounts, thoughts, and opinions of guests. Focus on Your Own Family podcast will not be held liable for the personal feelings, and accounts of their guests. Focus on your Own family podcast holds itself to the highest level of integrity, and the reporting that we do in this podcast to a very high standard.  We believe in showing evidence, and letting people draw their conclusions from that evidence.

Your life matters,
National help numbers

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT
MY SUBSTACK
Please reach out:
[email protected]
FOLLOW ME ON SOCIALS
LINKTREE

INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC
Scott Buckley "Omega"
COMMERCIAL MUSIC
Composed by Joanna Whaley

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode, I sit down with my longtime friend Joanna Whaley, now a candidate for Michigan’s State House representing District 2 in Southeast Detroit, to talk about the unlikely path from megachurch pastor to public servant. We unpack how growing up and working inside evangelical systems shapes the way people organize, speak, and wield power, and why that lived experience matters in today’s political landscape. Joanna shares what she loves about her working-class, often-overlooked district, how pastoral skills translate into listening for the real crises beneath the noise, and why decoding the language of “family values,” faith, and fear is essential for protecting democracy and human dignity. It’s a conversation about community, accountability, and what it looks like to bring humanity back into spaces that too often strip it away.

To get involved or two donate to Joanna's campaign 

https://www.joannawhaley.com/

For those that want to be on the podcast make sure to reach out—link in the show notes.
Pre-roll music is composed by Joanna Whaley

For those who want to subscribe to my Patreon please look at the show notes for more information
Music composed by Joanna Whaley

Support the show

This podcast contains the personal accounts, thoughts, and opinions of guests. Focus on Your Own Family podcast will not be held liable for the personal feelings, and accounts of their guests. Focus on your Own family podcast holds itself to the highest level of integrity, and the reporting that we do in this podcast to a very high standard.  We believe in showing evidence, and letting people draw their conclusions from that evidence.

Your life matters,
National help numbers

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT
MY SUBSTACK
Please reach out:
[email protected]
FOLLOW ME ON SOCIALS
LINKTREE

INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC
Scott Buckley "Omega"
COMMERCIAL MUSIC
Composed by Joanna Whaley

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode, Stephanie sits down with Lizzie Goldsmith,  is an audio producer and creator of the nonfiction audio drama adaptation of When We Were On Fire (based on Addie Zierman’s memoir). Her work explores faith, identity, grief, power, and the emotional reality of growing up in evangelical spaces.

Lizzie is the creator of an audio drama adaptation of the 2013 deconstruction memoir When We Were On Fire by Addie Zierman. The series is a four-part production that blends the intimacy of memoir with the cinematic world-building of scripted drama. Stephanie describes it as “Adventures in Odyssey… if the characters deconstructed,” and Lizzie explains how rare this kind of project still is, especially as a nonfiction adaptation in a drama format.

Together, Stephanie and Lizzie compare notes from eerily parallel upbringings: homeschool culture, Awana verses that never leave your brain, the strange logic of “no sex scenes but yes, horrifying violence,” and the Christian vocabulary that sounds completely unhinged outside church walls (“hedge of protection,” “traveling mercies,” “how’s your walk?”). They talk about how quickly a single phrase can snap your nervous system back into old fear and obedience, even years later.

The conversation also explores the creative hunger that follows deconstruction, especially for people who grew up with limited access to “normal” culture. Lizzie shares how adapting Addie’s memoir during grad school became both a creative obsession and a lifeline, complete with a massive cast, original music, and years of delays due to audio rights before it was finally able to be released widely as a podcast.

🎧 Go listen to When We Were On Fire now.

For those that want to be on the podcast make sure to reach out—link in the show notes.
Pre-roll music is composed by Joanna Whaley

For those who want to subscribe to my Patreon please look at the show notes for more information
Music composed by Joanna Whaley

Support the show

This podcast contains the personal accounts, thoughts, and opinions of guests. Focus on Your Own Family podcast will not be held liable for the personal feelings, and accounts of their guests. Focus on your Own family podcast holds itself to the highest level of integrity, and the reporting that we do in this podcast to a very high standard.  We believe in showing evidence, and letting people draw their conclusions from that evidence.

Your life matters,
National help numbers

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT
MY SUBSTACK
Please reach out:
[email protected]
FOLLOW ME ON SOCIALS
LINKTREE

INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC
Scott Buckley "Omega"
COMMERCIAL MUSIC
Composed by Joanna Whaley

Send us Fan Mail

To support this podcast Subscribe to Stephanie Warren's Substack

In this episode Stephanie sits down with sex educator Erica Smith for a candid, shame-free conversation about sex, embodiment, and healing from the long shadow of purity culture. Although Erica didn’t grow up in Christian fundamentalism, her work intersects directly with the systems, beliefs, and cultural pressures that shaped so many of us. Her outside perspective brings clarity, nuance, and compassion to a topic that often feels heavy for survivors.

We also dive into:

• The influence of Christian fundamentalism on sexuality and identity, even for those who didn’t grow up inside it
• Her work supporting purity culture and fundamentalism survivors, and why trauma-informed sex education is essential for rebuilding trust in our own bodies
• The process of reconnecting with our physical selves after years of shame, suppression, or fear
• Navigating boundaries, communication, and open conversations in relationships and families
• How to talk with teens about sex, including handling parental anxiety, intergenerational shame, and what developmentally appropriate conversations actually look like
• Concrete, practical guidance for parents, from discussing consent to normalizing curiosity to making space for autonomy
• Reframing “virginity” as a sexual debut and why language matters for healing

Erica also gives us a first look at her upcoming book, The Purity Culture Recovery Guide: The Shame-Free Sex Education You Deserve, coming February 2026. The book promises to be an inclusive, comprehensive resource for those rebuilding their sexual worldview outside of fear, shame, or fundamentalist doctrine.

We wrap with Erica’s personal favorites, recommendations, and the resources she believes everyone should have

For those that want to be on the podcast make sure to reach out—link in the show notes.
Pre-roll music is composed by Joanna Whaley

For those who want to subscribe to my Patreon please look at the show notes for more information
Music composed by Joanna Whaley

Support the show

This podcast contains the personal accounts, thoughts, and opinions of guests. Focus on Your Own Family podcast will not be held liable for the personal feelings, and accounts of their guests. Focus on your Own family podcast holds itself to the highest level of integrity, and the reporting that we do in this podcast to a very high standard.  We believe in showing evidence, and letting people draw their conclusions from that evidence.

Your life matters,
National help numbers

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT
MY SUBSTACK
Please reach out:
[email protected]
FOLLOW ME ON SOCIALS
LINKTREE

INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC
Scott Buckley "Omega"
COMMERCIAL MUSIC
Composed by Joanna Whaley

Send us Fan Mail

Support the podcast subscribe to the SUBSTACK

In this podcast episode, Dave, a recurring guest, and former voice actor for the character Jimmy Barkley in the children's radio program 'Adventures in Odyssey,' reflects on his experiences and the legacy of his work. The conversation touches on the impact of James Dobson, the founder of Focus on the Family, and the role the organization played in shaping Christian nationalism. Dave talks about his complicated feelings towards his contributions to the show, his mental health struggles, and the manipulative use of children as propaganda tools in a system that perpetuates harmful ideologies. He also notes the broader societal implications of these practices, including the rise of Christian nationalism in American politics. The discussion concludes with reflections on personal responsibility, the effects of systemic abuse, and hopes for a better future.

DAVE'S BLOG

For those that want to be on the podcast make sure to reach out—link in the show notes.
Pre-roll music is composed by Joanna Whaley

For those who want to subscribe to my Patreon please look at the show notes for more information
Music composed by Joanna Whaley

Support the show

This podcast contains the personal accounts, thoughts, and opinions of guests. Focus on Your Own Family podcast will not be held liable for the personal feelings, and accounts of their guests. Focus on your Own family podcast holds itself to the highest level of integrity, and the reporting that we do in this podcast to a very high standard.  We believe in showing evidence, and letting people draw their conclusions from that evidence.

Your life matters,
National help numbers

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT
MY SUBSTACK
Please reach out:
[email protected]
FOLLOW ME ON SOCIALS
LINKTREE

INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC
Scott Buckley "Omega"
COMMERCIAL MUSIC
Composed by Joanna Whaley

Send us Fan Mail

To support this podcast please subscribe to my SUBSTACK I regularly publish essay style articles on the very things my guests and I discuss on the podcast. 

Welcome back Topher!

Topher and I discuss the impact Dobson and MacArthur had on the children raised inside Christian Fundamentalism. This will be the first in what I hope to be a season long reflection. 

TOPHER socials

For those that want to be on the podcast make sure to reach out—link in the show notes.
Pre-roll music is composed by Joanna Whaley

For those who want to subscribe to my Patreon please look at the show notes for more information
Music composed by Joanna Whaley

Support the show

This podcast contains the personal accounts, thoughts, and opinions of guests. Focus on Your Own Family podcast will not be held liable for the personal feelings, and accounts of their guests. Focus on your Own family podcast holds itself to the highest level of integrity, and the reporting that we do in this podcast to a very high standard.  We believe in showing evidence, and letting people draw their conclusions from that evidence.

Your life matters,
National help numbers

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT
MY SUBSTACK
Please reach out:
[email protected]
FOLLOW ME ON SOCIALS
LINKTREE

INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC
Scott Buckley "Omega"
COMMERCIAL MUSIC
Composed by Joanna Whaley

Send us Fan Mail

🚨 Update: I’m officially closing my Patreon and migrating everything over to Substack! Substack gives me more flexibility to share my work—whether it’s writing, podcasting, or connecting in a more social, community-driven space. You can now find all my content (and support my work) in one place:
👉 https://substack.com/@thestrongwilledchild

There are free, monthly, and yearly subscription options. Thanks for being here and supporting this work!

 joined by Lindsey Williams to unpack what happened when I fed my old prayer journals into AI and asked it to analyze them through the lens of religious trauma. The results were eye-opening. We talk about growing up in evangelicalism, how tech can help survivors find language, and why healing starts with telling the truth—even to ourselves.

LINDSEY'S Socials 

For those that want to be on the podcast make sure to reach out—link in the show notes.
Pre-roll music is composed by Joanna Whaley

For those who want to subscribe to my Patreon please look at the show notes for more information
Music composed by Joanna Whaley

Support the show

This podcast contains the personal accounts, thoughts, and opinions of guests. Focus on Your Own Family podcast will not be held liable for the personal feelings, and accounts of their guests. Focus on your Own family podcast holds itself to the highest level of integrity, and the reporting that we do in this podcast to a very high standard.  We believe in showing evidence, and letting people draw their conclusions from that evidence.

Your life matters,
National help numbers

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT
MY SUBSTACK
Please reach out:
[email protected]
FOLLOW ME ON SOCIALS
LINKTREE

INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC
Scott Buckley "Omega"
COMMERCIAL MUSIC
Composed by Joanna Whaley

Send us Fan Mail

Support the podcast join the patreon

Be our guest

Welcome back Emily. Emily was a guest about year ago, she is a therapist located in California. I was captivated with Emily's story and I asked her to come back to talk about her time in the christian political sphere where she spent her teenage and young adult years. 

EMILY'S SOCIALS

For those that want to be on the podcast make sure to reach out—link in the show notes.
Pre-roll music is composed by Joanna Whaley

For those who want to subscribe to my Patreon please look at the show notes for more information
Music composed by Joanna Whaley

Support the show

This podcast contains the personal accounts, thoughts, and opinions of guests. Focus on Your Own Family podcast will not be held liable for the personal feelings, and accounts of their guests. Focus on your Own family podcast holds itself to the highest level of integrity, and the reporting that we do in this podcast to a very high standard.  We believe in showing evidence, and letting people draw their conclusions from that evidence.

Your life matters,
National help numbers

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT
MY SUBSTACK
Please reach out:
[email protected]
FOLLOW ME ON SOCIALS
LINKTREE

INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC
Scott Buckley "Omega"
COMMERCIAL MUSIC
Composed by Joanna Whaley

Send us Fan Mail

This is a one woman show, show support, stay connected
Want to be a guest? fill this questionnaire out
MARK DRISCOLL BJ SERMON
mark Driscoll Penis Homes
STEPHANIE SOCIALS
Welcome back Stephanie Drury! You heard her in the teaser episode and now you have the opportunity to hear the full story. Stephanie is the owner of Stuff Christian Culture Likes, Please follow her socials and check out her upcoming webinar.

For those that want to be on the podcast make sure to reach out—link in the show notes.
Pre-roll music is composed by Joanna Whaley

For those who want to subscribe to my Patreon please look at the show notes for more information
Music composed by Joanna Whaley

Support the show

This podcast contains the personal accounts, thoughts, and opinions of guests. Focus on Your Own Family podcast will not be held liable for the personal feelings, and accounts of their guests. Focus on your Own family podcast holds itself to the highest level of integrity, and the reporting that we do in this podcast to a very high standard.  We believe in showing evidence, and letting people draw their conclusions from that evidence.

Your life matters,
National help numbers

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT
MY SUBSTACK
Please reach out:
[email protected]
FOLLOW ME ON SOCIALS
LINKTREE

INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC
Scott Buckley "Omega"
COMMERCIAL MUSIC
Composed by Joanna Whaley

Send us Fan Mail

Support this POD
Stephanie Drury and I sit down for a spilling the tea about the rise and fall podcast. She talks about her fake Driscoll twitter account. Unfortunately, my internet failed me and we had to reschedule to record the full story. We did get enough to give you a little tea, just not the full service. Stay tuned for the full episode coming out soon.
Stephanie Drury's Socials
Be our guest

For those that want to be on the podcast make sure to reach out—link in the show notes.
Pre-roll music is composed by Joanna Whaley

For those who want to subscribe to my Patreon please look at the show notes for more information
Music composed by Joanna Whaley

Support the show

This podcast contains the personal accounts, thoughts, and opinions of guests. Focus on Your Own Family podcast will not be held liable for the personal feelings, and accounts of their guests. Focus on your Own family podcast holds itself to the highest level of integrity, and the reporting that we do in this podcast to a very high standard.  We believe in showing evidence, and letting people draw their conclusions from that evidence.

Your life matters,
National help numbers

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT
MY SUBSTACK
Please reach out:
[email protected]
FOLLOW ME ON SOCIALS
LINKTREE

INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC
Scott Buckley "Omega"
COMMERCIAL MUSIC
Composed by Joanna Whaley