Welcome, welcome!
Today’s episode is happy, cheery, and full-on Galentine’s vibes — like you’re about to meet your bestie girlfriends for coffee ☕💖
I want to start by sharing a little behind-the-scenes moment from Menobodies.
This episode was originally supposed to be my very first
in-person conversation with someone else on the podcast. I had my heart set on inviting my dear friend Danielle. But as I tried to make it happen, I realized something didn’t feel right. I was rushing it. Life is busy. Danielle is busy. I’m busy. And instead of feeling exciting, it started to feel pressured.
So I did the brave, honest thing. I talked to Danielle and said, “I still
really want to do my first in-person episode with you… this just doesn’t feel like the right time.”
And that moment reminded me what an amazing friend she is. She was completely understanding — and honestly, she already sensed it before I even said anything. That’s real friendship.
Danielle is what I call one of my
surrogate sister friends. I don’t have siblings — something I always wished for — and because of that, I deeply cherish those rare people in my life who feel like sisters. She’s one of them.
The Coffee Chat That Sparked This Episode Even though we didn’t record, Danielle and I did grab coffee. And during that coffee date, she gave me a tip that changed everything.
She said,
“When we do our episode, imagine we’re just chatting over coffee… and everyone else gets to listen in.” That idea stuck with me. And it sparked today’s episode.
So instead of recording with Danielle, I imagined
you and me sitting across from each other with our mugs, chatting about friendship, community, and how deeply important it is — especially in perimenopause and menopause.
Why Community Matters So Much Right Now Perimenopause and menopause are a whole new world. If you’re not there yet, you’ll understand when you arrive.
Many of us feel incredibly alone during this season. Our partners — especially male partners — often can’t fully understand what it feels like to live inside a hormonally shifting body. And while family and partners are important, they can’t always be
everything for us.
Side note:
If your partner or family
is your everything — that’s beautiful. AND I still gently encourage having a slightly bigger village. Different people bring different perspectives, different kinds of support, and it actually keeps our closest relationships healthier. We don’t always have to bring every burden to the same person.
If you already have an amazing support system — you rock. Keep nurturing it. And remember to give back to it.
If you don’t?
Keep listening. This episode is for you.
Learning from Other Cultures & Community I recently had a conversation with a client about other cultures and how deeply rooted community is for them. They show up for each other. They hang out casually. They pick up each other’s kids. They love extended family as their own.
And I’ll be honest — part of me longs for that.
Another part of me notices something uncomfortable: I’m a doer. I like structure. I like getting things done. Someone stopping by unexpectedly can stress me out because it disrupts my agenda.
That’s probably a sign I need to create more space for the unexpected.
(And honestly… that might be a whole episode on its own.)
Who Is — or Could Be — Your Village? Take a moment to think about it:
- Audra from spin class
- Sarah at work
- Jane from down the street
If you already have a village, who’s in it?
If you don’t, who
could be?
And let me say this clearly:
It is not too late to build meaningful friendships in your 40s and 50s.
Why Making Friends Can Feel So Hard For many of us, putting ourselves out there brings up anxiety and fear.
It can feel like:
- Raising your hand in high school
- Getting the answer wrong
- Everyone laughing
- Feeling judged
And if you experienced bullying? That fear runs even deeper. Your nervous system learned that it wasn’t safe to be seen.
Often, it’s not even fear of others judging us — it’s fear of
judging ourselves. Fear of being imperfect. Fear of “messing it up.”
That’s your nervous system trying to protect you.
How to Work With the Fear (Not Against It) One tool I use is learning to soothe the nervous system with supportive self-talk:
- Before the event
- During the event
- And especially after the event
Let’s talk about after for a second.
Have you ever texted someone later and apologized for being “too much,” talking too long, or taking up space?
Instead of spiraling, try offering yourself reassurance. And remember: if something truly felt off, a good friend will gently say something.
Another tool I love is the
casual question.
For example:
“How are you feeling about the meetings at work?”
Let the other person lead. You’re not assuming. You’re connecting.
So… How Do We Actually Build Our Village? We make the first move.
If you’re more
direct:
- Ask someone from Zumba to grab coffee
- Invite a coworker to lunch
- Message a mom from PTO
If you’re more of a
delegator:
- Join a class or group
- Say yes when coworkers go to lunch
- Show up consistently
Yes, it can feel scary.
Yes, fear of judgment is real.
But here’s the truth:
Most people are thinking more about themselves than about you.
And most people won’t remember awkward moments anyway.
And in the rare case that someone laughs, judges, or brings it up unkindly later?
They are not your village. Another option:
If you have a friend who already has a village, let them introduce you. If they invite you somewhere — say YES.
You’re Not Alone Others are feeling just like you, even if they don’t say it out loud.
And remember:
The Menobodies community is a place where you can show up exactly as you are — worries, uncertainty, and all — and know you’re supported. If you need a reminder before the next episode, I’m here for you.
Reach out on
Facebook, Instagram, the newsletter, or by email.
We’re in this together 🤍
Connect with Beth:💌 Email:
[email protected] 📱 Instagram & Facebook: @menobodies
🌐 Website: www.menobodies.com/home
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