Show Notes:

Thank you so much for spending your time with us. It really means a lot to me. And a big thank you to Edi Pasalis for sharing her thoughts, reflections, guidance and compassion with us.

The episode was so rich, it was hard to narrow down the takeways, but here are some important points I am taking with me:

Edi considers menopause a developmental era which can definitely be full of mayhem, and looks at it through the lens of personal and leadership development.

She sees menopause as the end of the youthful operating system transitioning to the wise elder operating system which is rooted in compassion.

One of the reasons that menopause creates mayhem is because it is the confluence between the youthful and elder ways of walking in the world. But maybe menopause is an invitation to change the strategies we have been using throughout our lives and embrace a new way of walking in the world

In fact, Edi suggests that menopause is akin to the same kind of developmental era akin to adolescence. Just as adolescence is a time of profound growth and transformation at every level – physically, emotionally, socially and spiritually. A part of the menopausal transition is saying good bye to the person who we have been up until this point in our lives. We grieve for the things we used to do but can no longer do. We grieve for the loss of our exterior physical beauty and fundamentally, the ability to bear children. Even if you never wanted to be a mother yourself, you can still grieve this transition in your life.

Women are also losing value in the eyes of society

Just as in puberty, hormones are the drivers of this transformation and in fact the world middlescence has been coined to describe this time of life.

Grief can be accompanied by rage and anger when women finally see how we have bought into the story of what it means to be a good woman, and how we may have suppressed ourselves

The grief can also include coming to terms with regret of what we have done to ourselves in our younger years.

We also grieve when we start losing people, characters in our lives.

We need to learn how to truly feel grief – not just stay busy or get over it. Emotions are energy and that if we allow them to move through us, then that brings in new energy and new opportunities for love.

We need practices/spaces in our lives where we can really deeply feel and hold ourselves in our grief, be seen and witnessed and support in our grief. We need letting go rituals and rituals of grief – such a lighting a candler, writer your grief on paper and then burn that paper or dig a hole and speak all your grief into the earth and et her hold your grief. And there are many resources for grief rituals as simple as light a candle, write your grief on a paper, and then burn the paper or dig a hole and, speak all of your grief into the earth and let her hold your grief.

The menopause transformation is a deepening capacity to meet grief and all our emotions more fully.

Edi’s hope for all women going through menopause is that we become more friendly with ourselves.

There are many, many reason to grieve during the menopausal transition – but maybe by meeting the suffering and honouring it we are able to grow into the wise, compassionate women we want to become.

Links:

Edi Pasalis | LinkedIn

Tackling Taboo Topics: A Review of the Three Ms in Working Women’s Lives - Alicia A. Grandey, Allison S. Gabriel, Eden B. King, 2020

https://edipasalis.com

MIDDLESCENCE definition | Cambridge English Dictionary

Thank you so much for being part of this special conversation with Darlene and me today! Big thanks to Darlene and I hope you found a lot of value in our chat - I know I did.

Here are my top takeways:

Darlene created the group after going through a lot of challenges herself and feeling unsupported at work. She is a trailblazer and after taking medical leave and conducting a ton of research, she wanted to create a group that would help build a sense of community, that would empower and support her daughter and other younger members of the public service and that would provide evidence-based resources to the members.

She chose the name My Menopause at Work because it speaks to the personal journey that is each person’s menopausal journey within the workplace.

Darlene really appreciates the support she received from Lynne Lamarche who was the group’s executive sponsor, something she cited as essential for anyone wanting to create their own group at their own workplace. She cites improved retention, increased productivity, and engagement for reasons to create a My Menopause at Work group.

It is an inclusive group, and gender diverse folks and allies are welcome to join. The group is focused on supporting everyone, and although the majority of the close to 1,800 members are part of the public service, in fact, anyone can become a member. Darlene also gave a shout out to Diane, a UK- based member of the group.

The group meets virtually on Teams on the second Thursday of every month from 12 pm to 1 pm EST.

They welcome knowledgeable and passionate experts on menopause, and Darlene conducts a lot of due diligence in identifying speakers who can share evidence-based information and resources with the members.

If someone is interested in creating their own My Menopause at Work group, she suggests supporting your business case by using reports and statistics such as the Menopause Foundation of Canada’s report, Menopause and Work in Canada (which actually features the group My Menopause at Work).

Darlene also shared that women over 40 make up one quarter of our workforce, and it is estimated that the unmanaged symptoms of menopause cost the economy $3.5 billion per year. This represents a huge opportunity for employers to provide support for what is a universal experience. 

The bottom line is that women aged 40 plus are a valuable resource employers simply cannot afford to lose.

Big thanks to Darlene for joining us on the podcast, and thank you for everything you are doing for so many other people.

Thank you for sharing this time with us, and remember to please share the podcast with someone you think would appreciate joining the community.

Looking forward to next month’s podcast when we will be tackling the topic of menopause and grief. Get ready for a fabulous conversation with the amazing Edi Pasalis, another inspiring menopause leader. Until then, let’s take a pause together.

Resources:

Darlene Mulcahey | LinkedIn

Darlene: Menopause Champion and Changemaker - The Menopause Foundation of Canada

Menopause in the Workplace with Darlene Mulcahey - CPHR NL

My Menopause at Work : Upcoming events / Ma ménopause au travail : Prochains événements | LinkedIn

Thank you so much for sharing your time with us today! And thank you to Christine Jenkins for sharing her perspective, experience and passion with us and for showing us how autistic and neurodivergent women and non-binary people can experience the perfect storm that is perimenopause and menopause.

My takeaways from our conversation:

Autistic and neurodivergent women and non-binary folks experience a more amplified and intense perimenopause and menopause transition. It’s like the wheels start falling off the cart, and there can be a lack of early diagnosis. So not only are you dealing with the challenges of perimenopause, you could be given a diagnosis of autism. And interestingly this can happen during an autism diagnosis of their sons. They notice – hey, this is how I was when I was his age and that gets the ball rolling in order to get their own diagnosis.  It is typically young boys who are diagnosed with autism while their sisters are ignored.

Often times the medical system misses diagnosing autism in young girls until a potential meltdown during puberty.

People report a lack of accessible and relevant information about perimenopause and menopause, and there is also an absence of diverse perspectives.

There can be a struggle for well-being when you are dealing with the intersectionality – joblessness, poverty, general aging.

Another relevant factor is getting stuck in the medical system – and dealing with clinicians who are not well-educated and may not listen – or may be perceived to be not listening. There can be a mistrust and avoidance of the medical system. The communication challenges can make it more difficult to ask for and receive help, and there is a lack ongoing support and continuity of care. As Christine said, people can be left in the lurch.

In fact, some people actually choose to go it alone as they feel different and experience stigma and social isolation. They opt not to seek support.

But, we also talked about this time in life being a catalyst for healthy change. It provides people with the opportunity to develop a positive self-identity, to truly learn how to accept oneself and adopt an attitude and strategy of self-care.

And of course, not having one’s monthly period is a pretty big (and I would say one of the best) parts of menopause. Perimenopause is a different story because you are dealing with all of the other ridiculousness PLUS still getting your period. Not fun.

This time also gives people the chance to find services and supports – and for changes like lowering the temperature at work places. Small things can make a huge difference when you are dealing with hot flashes, and not sleeping well and for many people, parenting their children and navigating the challenges and pain of watching your parents getting older.

Christine cautioned autistic and neurodivergent women and non-binary people when it comes to making life-changing decisions during this time of life. She cited brain fog, anxiety and sensory loads as important factors that can negatively influence decision-making and lead to potentially challenging situations in the future.

Resources:

Shared Stories, Shared Experiences: International Research on Autism and Menopause

https://linktr.ee/christineajenkins

Autistic people face additional menopause challenges | BPSThe Psychologist, January/February 2024 | BPS

(5) Christine A Jenkins | LinkedIn

Show Notes:

• Women’s voices not only need to be heard but paid attention to.
• Madeline and her team are listening and taking note and sharing the feedback they are receiving
• Everyone needs be at the table to discuss the realities of women experiencing perimenopause and menopause at the workplace – men, partners, leadership
• It is important to understand this change in order to be understanding of it. This is just one way our bodies will be changing and we need to learn to reflect on what our bodies are asking us to reconsider what we are asking of them
• We are forced into a new relationship with our bodies –
• It is a shift – painful because we don’t like to let go of parts of ourselves who have served us well in our lives to this point
• Madeline wants to make women feel less alone and hear the voice of others
• There is a lack of culture about this phase of life in a woman’s life – but it is coming!!
• Share tools and strategies that other people are using and they may help other people – to help women know they don’t have to suffer – there are resources and tools and to help
• Women in perimenopause and menopause are bringing so much value to the labour market – it’s about talent retention – when women don’t feel supported, they leave the company or the labour market before they want to – some tips Madeline would like to offer leadership:

1. Don’t try and control bodies
2. The importance of flexibility in scheduling etc.
3. Give resources – do your benefits cover HRT? Do your employees have access to supports?
4. Do your employees have a safe environment to talk about their struggles?

• This is not an ending, but a beginning – listen to your body – seek the resources that will support you through whatever means –
• Research indicates the changes that happen in the brain and other bodily changes are consistent with things that happen when you go through puberty and pregnancy.
• It is so destructive because it is threatening to our identity as women and workers – but there are leadership opportunities that come out of menopause
• This is the time that you leave things behind, but when you do that, it leaves you lighter for new things and growth
• We may not be able to change what is happening to our bodies, but we can absolutely change what we say to ourselves. And we can be part of a movement that sees the possibility and promise, transformation and growth this time of life can bring.

Links:

The Menopause Manifesto by Dr. Jen Gunter

The (Peri)menopause Project website  

Madeline Toubiana on LinkedIn

Thank you so much for joining us today! It was a pleasure sharing this time with you.

A big thanks to Joanne for sharing her menopause expertise with us today.

Here’s what I am taking away for our chat:

It’s good to be able to let go of our younger self with grace and no judgement

Sleep, nutrition, activity, exercise, energy, self-awareness, weight training and adventurous mindset are crucial for a healthy midlife and menopause.

Thank you Joanne for these tips – much appreciated!

Links:

Joanne Savoie Malone – LinkedIn profile

(Peri)Menopause Project | Home

10 Menopause Care Tips: How to Take Care of Yourself During Menopause

12 Essential Self-Care Practices for Thriving During Menopause -

Welcome to the Menopause, Midlife & Mayhem podcast!

It's a safe place to talk all things menopause (and perimenopause), midlife and the craziness that comes with all of this.

Join me as I chat with women who are truly experts in the field. If you are like me and looking for information about menopause and mental health, diet, activity, sleep, exercise - the list goes on - please take a listen.

And just in keeping with the theme, the podcast will be released once a month.

Let's take a pause on the 25th of every month!