Men’s Sexual Mastery

What if the part of you that finishes too fast, struggles to stay hard or keeps reaching for porn isn't your enemy? In this episode I sit down with my brother Braxton Dudley, a licensed therapist and meditation coach based in Longmont, Colorado, to talk about navigating disempowering patterns in sex, in the bedroom and in life.

Braxton brings his training in Internal Family Systems (parts work) and years of contemplative practice to show why fighting these patterns keeps us stuck, and why getting curious about what's happening in the body is where real change begins. We also go deep on what can happen when sexual energy practices open up more than we're ready to hold, what Braxton calls spiritual emergency, and we both get honest about having been there ourselves.

Braxton closes with a simple breath practice you can use any time you feel tension or resistance in your body.

In this episode:

- Where to start with PE, ED, porn compulsion and other patterns

- Parts work, and why the places in us that struggle the most need the most kindness

- "Who's driving the bus?" and creating space before you react

- Why sexual energy amplifies everything, and how to stay within your capacity

- Spiritual emergency: grounding, the safety basics and when to get help

- A guided breath practice for softening tension

Connect with Braxton:

Therapy for individuals and couples in Colorado: https://spaciousheartcounseling.com

Email: [email protected]

Braxton also offers contemplative coaching and teaches meditation online and in Longmont. Reach out through his website.

Ready to do this work with a brotherhood around you? Apply for our 12-week training: https://app.menssexualmastery.com/apply

Freddie Woodward competed for Great Britain as an Olympic diver, and for years he couldn't stop watching porn. Discipline didn't fix it. Shame didn't fix it. Even a documentary that made him furious at the porn industry only bought him six weeks.

In this episode Ben sits down with Freddie, now a men's coach, to talk about what actually worked: not white-knuckling it, but becoming the version of yourself that doesn't need porn anymore. Freddie also opens up about telling his partner (now his wife), how his relationship and sex life transformed, and why he's more proud of quitting porn than of making it to the Olympics.

In this episode:

• Why willpower and shame keep you stuck, and the "two dictionaries" analogy for letting go of the struggle

• How identity drives behavior, and why you aren't broken or different

• Breaking the belief that you "need" a release every night

• Sexual energy as rocket fuel: how it binds and amplifies whatever is already inside you

• Building a new system that outperforms porn instead of fighting the old one

• Telling your partner: confiding vs. dumping, and when to get outside support first

• How quitting porn changed the way Freddie sees women and his partner's beauty

• Why porn has nothing to do with your sex drive

Connect with Freddie at:

https://www.instagram.com/freddie_woodward/?hl=en

https://www.instagram.com/freddiewoodward.menscoach/?hl=en

Ready to go deeper?

Men's Sexual Mastery is a holistic sexual education training for men who want to break free from porn, master their sexual energy and build deeper intimacy.

Apply to join the training: https://app.menssexualmastery.com/application

Learn more: https://www.menssexualmastery.com

If this episode helped you, follow the show, leave a rating and send it to a brother who needs to hear it.

Most men know the feeling of lying next to their partner five minutes after sex with most of their desire gone. It’s normal, but when nearly every surge of sexual energy ends in ejaculation, it slowly drains the polarity in a relationship. Swinging the other way and suppressing your sex drive does just as much damage, because your partner feels you holding back.

In this episode Ben and Hawks pick up where our last conversation on polarity left off and get into sexual transmutation, the middle path of feeling your sexual energy fully and then choosing where it goes. We start with the simplest practices and work toward the deeper ones.

In this episode:
• What sexual transmutation is, and why we talk about semen intention instead of semen retention
• A thought experiment that shows how ejaculation affects attraction to your partner
• Why suppressing your sex drive hurts polarity just as much as draining it
• How to notice sexual energy as it rises and redirect it into your work, your body or your creative life
• What blue balls actually is, and how to relieve it without ejaculating
• Why your breath and the reverse Kegel matter more than most men realize
• How we fit hundreds of practices into a simple daily routine for men with jobs and families

For more on breathing and the microcosmic orbit, check out episodes 41 and 63.

Seats for our next 12-week training open in November. Apply here: https://www.menssexualmastery.com/apply
Join the free community: https://www.skool.com/menssexualmastery

Sexual polarity is the charge between two partners that makes them want each other, and its a skill that takes practice. Without conscious awareness and maintenance, sexual attraction slowly leaks out of a relationship through the comfortable habits that build up when two people share a home, kids and a to-do list.

In this episode, Ben and Hawks lay out the four phases of polarity (honeymoon, comfort, role reversal and the dead zone) and the magnet analogy behind them. They cover leadership through ownership, how to plan a date so she doesn't have to think, claiming desire with equanimity using the "no, not yet, what I'd need first" agreement, taking mini vacations from your partner, and building your energy through semen intention.

Find us on Instagram @mens.sexual.mastery and apply for the next cohort at www.menssexualmastery.com/apply

#polarity #intimacy #sexualleadership #menswork #marriedmen

If the intimacy in your marriage or long-term relationship has faded, you've probably been told that's just what happens. Kids, schedules, years together, and the sex life quietly dies. It's one of the most damaging lies men have been handed, and it only survives because nobody taught us how to cultivate intimacy over time.

Think of your intimacy as a garden. Your presence is the sun, and without it nothing else works. Intentional time together with zero pressure on her is the water. The small, unrepaired breaks in trust are the weeds, and left alone long enough they'll convince you the problem is her libido when it's really a garden nobody's tended.

One of the most powerful things you can do for polarity costs nothing. Stop talking, slow your breath, and hold her gaze like you're already inside her. It works because it's the exact opposite of the pattern that kills most long-term relationships, where the man stops leading, she starts mothering him, and every conversation turns into logistics.

You're not stuck with a dying sex life. You're an untrained gardener, and the man who learns to tend this gets a relationship that grows more alive the longer it lasts.

Ready to dive deeper?

Join the brotherhood at menssexualmastery.com/apply.

#mensexualmastery #sexualmastery #sexualhealth #menshealthpodcast #intimacy #polarity #masculinity #sexualleadership #marriedmen #menswork #masculinedevelopment #sexualconfidence #sexualenergy #breathwork #personaldevelopment

Erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and compulsive porn use aren't random malfunctions. They're what happens when a man's nervous system is holding shame it's never had anywhere else to go, and it shows up as constriction, reduced blood flow, and a pelvic floor that stays clenched instead of open.

In this episode we break down the actual physiological link between unprocessed shame and sexual performance, and why almost every man trying to fix this alone is missing the piece that would move it fastest.

We just got back from running a workshop at Unison Fest with Mark Cunningham, a sex therapist based in Fort Collins, where we put men into small groups and asked the questions most guys never get asked outside of a therapist's office.

What we watched happen in ninety minutes is the entire argument for why brotherhood isn't optional if you're serious about sexual mastery.

We also get into why your partner can't be your only accountability partner without it eroding the polarity in your relationship, what "iron sharpens iron" actually looks like in practice, and the research on testosterone and time spent with other men that backs up what most guys already feel but can't explain.

If you've been trying to white-knuckle your way out of a compulsive pattern by yourself, this episode names exactly why that approach keeps failing and what actually works instead.

Ready to join the brotherhood?

Join us at www.menssexualmastery.com

#erectiledysfunction #sexualhealth #menshealthpodcast #sexualmastery #mensexualmastery #performanceanxiety #pornaddiction #prematureejaculation #nervoussystemregulation #polarity #masculinity #sexualleadership #menswork #intimacy #masculinedevelopment

Most men trying to build sexual energy through semen retention or nervous system regulation hit a wall they can't explain. They're doing the practice and still feel drained. The missing piece is almost never the practice itself. It's the energetic leaks running underneath it, quietly canceling out every ounce of progress.

In this episode we break down nine specific leaks across three categories: the physical ones tied directly to jing and sexual energy, the relational patterns that drain you through other people, and the subtle habits like fidgeting and over talking that most men never connect to their energy at all.

We also lay out the age-based framework for harmonious ejaculation cadence, why sexual energy acts as an accelerant that amplifies whatever's already happening in your nervous system, and why patching a leak often brings buried shame or anxiety to the surface instead of just handing you more energy for free.

This is foundational work. It's why we teach it in the first module of our training, and it's worth revisiting no matter how long you've been at this.

Want to go deeper? Join our free community at skool.com/menssexualmastery, access resources, discussion threads, and connect with brothers doing this work.

#sexualmastery #mensexualmastery #menshealthpodcast #pornaddiction #nofap #breathwork #nervoussystemregulation #sexualenergy #semenretention #sexualconfidence #masculinedevelopment #menswork #personaldevelopment #polarity #dopaminedetox

Most men treat commitment like it's the end of their sex life. This episode makes the opposite case: real sexual mastery, real intimacy, and the deepest fulfillment a man can access are only available on the other side of fully choosing one partner.

We break down why keeping your options open isn't freedom, it's stalling, and why the men who go all in with one partner access a kind of erotic novelty that no amount of variety can touch.

In this conversation, Ben and Ian cover the difference between horizontal novelty - chasing new partners, and vertical novelty - going deeper with one, and why that vertical plane is functionally infinite once you build the skill for it.

We also get into the Lover's Ritual, our own practice for keeping long-term intimacy from going flat, the fire-tending that has to happen outside the bedroom for any of this to work, and a story from a recent Sacred Sons gathering about a man who says his partner has been the best men's work organization he's ever been part of.

If you're a man who's been told commitment means less, less sex, less excitement, less freedom, this episode is the reframe you may have been looking for without realizing it.

Ready to go all in?

Join us at https://www.menssexualmastery.com/apply

#intimacy #masculinity #menswork #masculinedevelopment #polarity #sexualleadership #marriedmen #personaldevelopment #sexualmastery #mensexualmastery #sexualenergy #sexualconfidence #highperformancemen #menshealthpodcast #sexualhealth

Today we are joined by Jeff Sorenson.

Jeff is the founder of breathARMY and the lightFORCE Collective – Leadership, Breathwork and Cold Exposure Facilitator Training Academy. His mission is to educate, inspire and empower people to live to their true potential. Jeff uses a variety of different tools including breathwork, movement, meditation, cold, heat and psychedelics to help people break through the structures that hold us back from living and expressing our true potential in the world.

Jeff has walked through some of the darkest shadows of trauma, addiction and mental illness to emerge with profound wisdom and light which he humbly carries to activate the light and potential in others. He has a unique ability to weave a deep understanding of scientific principles with timeless philosophical and spiritual wisdom in an easy to understand, light, yet incredibly powerful and enjoyable way.

Ian spent a year training under Jeff, and in this episode the two of them tie that work directly to sex. Finishing before you want to and reaching for porn are the same event in the body, which is activation climbing past what your nervous system can hold. Jeff explains how ice baths and big breathing practices train you to meet and navigate that activation in predictable conditions, why he treats the cold as a place to feel more instead of something to fight through, and why embodied awareness starts with your five senses and your surroundings before it ever goes inward. Jeff also speaks to his three years of celibacy, why he chose it, what it did for his discernment with women, and why he still believes occasional release is a good thing.

Connect with Jeff Sorenson here:

https://breatharmy.com/

@breatharmy on IG

Join a free breathwork practice from Jeff or one of his accredited facilitators every Sunday morning at 9 am PST!

https://breatharmy.com/breathtemple/

Interested in joining the Men's Sexual Mastery brotherhood? Join our free community at skool.com/menssexualmastery — access resources, discussion threads, and connect with brothers doing this work.

Or apply for our next Group Training here: https://app.menssexualmastery.com/apply

#sexualhealth #menshealthpodcast #sexualmastery #mensexualmastery #performanceanxiety #pornaddiction #breathwork #nervoussystemregulation #dopaminedetox #sexualconfidence #masculinedevelopment #personaldevelopment #menswork

Ready to expand your knowledge of your female partners rhythms, cycles, and fertility?

In this episode, Emily from Moujamoon gives us a comprehensive overview on everything you need to know for conscious contraception, cycle tracking, and taking your understanding of female fertility, hormones, and arousal to the next level.

Emily is a passionate guide empowering women and the people who care about them through cycle literacy.

A former school teacher and yoga instructor, now turned experienced Fertility Awareness Educator, Emily teaches highly effective natural contraception through biomarker tracking and sensual practices, so women can have a deeper relationship with their body, and their partners can better support pleasure and relational ease.

You'll learn the same information Emily teaches women in her fertility awareness method program, adapted so the men in their lives can actually participate instead of standing outside the conversation.

We also get into what changes about foreplay and desire across the follicular and luteal phases, why the woman who was ready in five minutes two weeks ago might need forty-five minutes of engagement today, and how to show up differently depending on where she is hormonally.

This is one of the most practical, most requested conversations we've had on the show.

Connect with Emily:

https://www.moujamoon.com/

https://www.instagram.com/moujamoon/

Interested in joining the Men's Sexual Mastery Training?

Join our free community at skool.com/menssexualmastery — access resources, discussion threads, and connect with brothers doing this work.

#mensexualmastery #sexualmastery #menshealthpodcast #intimacy #polarity #sexualleadership #masculinedevelopment #menswork #marriedmen #sexualenergy #personaldevelopment #sexualconfidence #nervoussystemregulation #masculinity #semenretention