"That loneliness that I felt was more—it was not the disconnection externally, it was the internal disconnection... behind all the grasping around substances, it was really trying to pull my attention to seal into this more," says McKayan May, sharing a raw account of his healing journey from addiction and religious trauma on Mental Health in a Modern World.
This episode introduces McKayan May, a creative and courageous voice breaking generational silence, as he sits down with holistic health practitioner Greg Schmaus for a live, immersive coaching session. Transitioning out of a successful tech career, McKayan May opens up about growing up in a strict religious household, navigating addiction, and his struggle to reclaim his authentic voice on the path to becoming a coach himself. With profound honesty, he reveals the hidden layers of grief, the roots of self-regulation, and the courage it takes for men to face the emotional states we so often numb.
Tune in to learn how McKayan May untangles inherited burdens and reclaims creative expression, all while modeling the strength found in vulnerability. Discover why his story resonates with so many who are ready to step into authenticity and break cycles of silence.
5 Key Takeaways
True transformation happens when you turn self-awareness into inspired action—start now by integrating these five takeaways into your life:
- Cultivate Self-Compassion: Approach your struggles, especially with addictive patterns or self-judgment, from a place of understanding and empathy, just as McKayan May demonstrates with his inner parts.
- Practice Regulating Your Emotions: Use breathwork and body-based awareness, like feeling and tracking sensations, to process emotions instead of numbing or avoiding them.
- Express Your Truth: Unlock your voice by speaking honestly about your emotional states and experiences—even if that means challenging inherited beliefs or cultural expectations.
- Acknowledge and Release Old Contracts: Identify inherited or outdated agreements (internal “contracts”) you’ve carried, then consciously release them, as modeled in the ritual work in this session.
- Embrace Vulnerability as Strength: Step into openness and share your journey with others, knowing that healing your wounds uplifts not only yourself but the wider community.
Start today—pick one action from this list and let it move you closer to genuine healing and self-empowerment.
Memorable Quotes
"That loneliness that I felt was not the disconnection externally, it was the internal disconnection. It was this exile that wanted my attention, and behind all the grasping around substances, it was really trying to pull my attention to heal into this more.""I can see its purpose, and it’s very much like we’re friends in that perspective. I don’t have a lot of judgment towards it.""For me, it feels like I'm just letting other men especially know that you can be vulnerable. You can go into these emotional states that we so often just numb ourselves out from, and that's been a big pattern with a lot of these addictions for me—the numbness, and not having the courage to really feel into that."Connect with McKayan
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mckayan-may-60304b150/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/mckayan888/
X/Twitter - https://x.com/mckayan888
Substack - https://substack.com/@mckayan888
Resources Mentioned
Richard Schwartz’s Internal Family Systems (IFS) – https://ifs-institute.com/
Sarah Peyton’s Constellation Work – https://sarahpeyton.com/
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