Mental Health Mondays - Sustaining Life in a Pandemic

Mental Health Mondays - Sustaining Life in a Pandemic

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Mental Health Mondays - Sustaining Life in a Pandemic episodes

  • Mental Health Monday -- Sustaining Life in a Pandemic - Episode 10

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    This week Reb Duke, MA, LPCC shares some great reminders about getting back to the basics as we walk through this COVID-19 season.

    Questions for personal reflection or (preferably) discussion with someone else...

    • Even if you’ve seen it before, take a look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs: https://www.thoughtco.com/maslows-hierarchy-of-needs-4582571What stands out to you when you look at it this time?
    • What are some of the basic physical and social needs that have been more challenging to meet in this season? What creative ways have you found to adjust?
    • If your basic needs are not met it’s hard to do anything else in the hierarchy of needs. What are some very simple things you forget to do sometimes (e.g. drinking water, getting rest, etc.)?
    • Things are really hard right now. How can you let yourself off the hook this week from expectations that you should be functioning at 100% right now? Reb talks about holding, “this is really hard” and “I’m going to try” both at the same time. What would holding both of these ideas gently look like for you?
    • Reb talks about “riding the waves” of our feelings as they come and go. We can often resist the things that we’re experiencing or feel like they will last forever. What helps you ride the waves of your feelings right now? What might help that you haven’t tried?
    • Are there issues that you had before the pandemic that are intensified because of the uncertainty and stress right now? How can you give yourself compassion around these issues?
    • Schedule a time to take an intentional break or two from screens this week. Notice how you feel in your body after these breaks. Consider making this a regular practice.


      • [Mental Health Mondays (brought to you by the Refuge) started in March of 2020 as Colorado began it’s Stay at Home season because of Covid-19. Kathy Escobar and Joanna Douglas recognized the unique mental health challenges that this season was going to create and started interviewing counselors and life coaches for their thoughts on how to sustain this brand-new territory for our Refuge community. As we're buckling in for the long haul together it's good to think through what will sustain us in this time of pandemic. We hope these conversations and discussion questions can be one of the tools in your toolbelt that can help you through. Learn more about The Refuge here: www.therefugeonline.org]

      27 min
    • Mental Heath Mondays - Sustaining Life in a Pandemic - Episode 9

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      Mental Health Mondays with the Refuge

      This week Lauren Scott LPC and ecotherapist shares some thoughts on listening to our bodies in this time of stress. 


      Questions for personal reflection or (preferably) discussion with someone else...

      •Most of us have never been taught to listen to our bodies in day to day life. What were some of the messages you had around your body when you were growing up?

      •Lauren talks about “tuning in” to what is going on in our bodies. Have you ever tried to do this when you’re stressed? What are some ways you could remind yourself to slow down and listen to your body under stress?

      •It’s important to learn to identify and name what is going on in our bodies because these responses provide us with valuable information. Take a moment to breathe deeply two or three times. Notice the sensations in your body after you do this. Where do you feel tension? Where do you feel ease? Does anything change when you bring your attention to your body?

      •Lauren talks about “completing the emotional stress response cycles” and describes how animals who experience trauma will shake or move to get the stress hormones out of their bodies What are some ways you’ve found that help your body process and release stress? If you’ve never thought of it before, what is something you could try?

      •How can you “give yourself permission” this week to be just where you are? What does it look like to give yourself permission to let your body process your stress in whatever way you need to?

      •Next time you feel overwhelmed by stress this week and are experiencing numbness or agitation, try Lauren’s suggested method of “name it, tame it, claim it.” Take some time to identify what you are feeling in your body (“name it”), do what you need to do to regulate your body and emotions (“tame it”), and give yourself permission to feel good and be okay (“claim it”).

      •How can you let yourself fully enjoy something this week? Even if it’s something really simple like eating a strawberry or feeling the sun on your face, what would it look like to give yourself permission to feel good and deeply enjoy something (or a few things) this week?

      16 min
    • Mental Health Mondays - Sustaining Life in a Pandemic - Episode 8

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      This week Stacy Schaffer, LPC shares some thoughts on how to support children and young people in this season. 


      Questions for personal reflection or (preferably) discussion with someone else...

      •Stacy  talks about the four perceived threats of the brain our kids often  face: physical safety, the unknown, emotional in-congruence, ‘shoulds’  or unmet expectations. Adults experience these as well; in what ways  have you perceived these threats in your life? List a couple examples  for each of the four threats.

      •Stacy talks about being an  “external regulator” for the children in our lives. When kids feel  anxious the adults in their lives can help to bring calm and  re-regulation. What are ways you have naturally been an external  regulator for the kids in your life? What do they respond best to?

      •What are some of the unknowns that are difficult for you and/or the children in your life right now?

      •Making  the unknown known can help our kids regulate their fears and anxiety.  Stacy says, “The more informed our kids are the better.” Even though  there are so many unknowns in this pandemic, what are some of the things  you do know that you could share with the kids in your life?

      •Kids  pay attention and pick up on our emotions and reactions and most kids  (and adults) pick up on emotional incongruities (when our behavior  doesn’t match our words). How can you be more honest with the children  in your life (in age appropriate ways) about what is really going on in  you and the world?

      •What unmet expectations are the kids in your  life facing? If you are a parent, what shifts have happened in your  child’s identity in this season? What would it look like to help your  child acknowledge and grieve these changes?

      •Everything we’re  going through isn’t a vacation for our kids. How can we be gentle with  the kids in our lives and let go of some of our expectations of them?  How can we help our kids be gentle with themselves?

      31 min
    • Mental Health Mondays - Sustaining Life in a Pandemic - Episode 7

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      This week Ted Mathis, LPC as he shares some thoughts on how we continue to walk through this difficult season through the lens of the steps of grief.

      Questions for personal reflection or (preferably) discussion with  someone else...  

      •Ted frames what we’re going through with this pandemic through the lens  of the stages of grief described by Elisabeth Kubler: denial, anger,  bargaining, depression, and acceptance. When have you walked through  these stages in your life in the past?  Did you find that process to be  linear (step by step) or did you bounce around the different stages  multiple times?   

      •We’re all experiencing the losses of Covid-19 in different ways. In our  communities (in the USA) some have lost work, graduations, vacations,  physical contact, personal freedoms, the ability to celebrate  graduations and weddings, and many have lost loved ones and friends.  What have been the most difficult losses you’ve experienced so far?  

      •What are you angry about right now with regards to this pandemic? What  is that anger pointing to inside of you that is really important that  you may have lost or be scared of loosing and may be unconsciously  grieving?   

      •Depression is a stage of grief, but also something that many of us  struggle with on a regular basis that is being activated again right now  in the uncertainty of the pandemic. If you are depressed, and  especially if you are experiencing thoughts of suicide please reach out  for help to someone at the Refuge or call 1-800-273-8255.   

      •If you’ve struggled with depression in the past, what are some things  that have helped you find glimmers of hope in the darkness? For me (Jo),  it is connecting with a friend who feels safe or taking time to  experience nature with my senses (feeling the sunshine on my face, the  grass under my feet, etc.).   

      •If you are currently depressed could it be connected to grief you might  be feeling about our situation right now? What are ways that you could  honor and mourn that grief?    

      •Ted talks about adaptation and gratitude being marks of the stage of  acceptance. What ways have you or your household found to creatively  adapt to this new way of living? Have you had any moments of gratitude  that have surprised you?  

      •Ted talks about how writing things out brings online resources that are  more powerful than simply speaking about things because it accesses a  different part of our brains. Take some time this week to write about  your grief in this season.


      32 min
    • Mental Health Mondays - Sustaining Life in a Pandemic - Episode 6

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      This week Valerie Grant, LPC shares about attachment repair and how it can help us remain grounded in these difficult times.      

      Questions for personal reflection or (preferably) discussion with  someone else...

      • How are the constant shifts in information, guidelines, and expectations around the Covid crisis impacting you right now?
      • Valerie talks about how we are all the ages that we’ve ever been. If there is a feeling of overwhelm or “fussiness” that is hard to name, it is probably coming from a very early part of ourselves that doesn’t have the words to express the disruption we’re feeling. When have you experienced this unnamed agitation? What did that look like?
      • When we feel this way, we start looking around for the grownups in charge. When you’re experiencing these unsettled feelings, what messages do you usually tell yourself? Valerie uses the examples of the harsh inner grownup/parent: “Stop wasting time!” “Pull it together” or the negligent grownup/parent who pushes the feelings and thoughts aside and ignores them. Where do you see your internal responses in these examples? Do you ever respond this way to your loved ones?
      • “The great news is that we are fundamentally designed to heal. So even if our childhoods were less than ideal, our secure attachment is biologically programed into us. Our brain is designed with something called neuroplasticity [the idea that we can always grow new neuropathways, e.g. you can teach an old dog new tricks!]… and it’s constructed to allow for adaptation, healing, and growth.” Have you heard of neuroplasticity before? Where have you seen your brain’s ability to adapt, heal, and grow in the past?
      • Valerie talks about how when we can repeatedly pause and take in pleasure, enjoyment, or what we’re noticing (ex. feeling the sun on your face, listening to the birds, enjoying the aroma of coffee or food, etc.) we are creating a neuropathway that releases the hormones in our bodies that calm and soothe us. What are some of the simple ways that you can pause and take things in this week? What are some simple things that give you delight or comfort?
      • When you feel overwhelmed this week try the simple guided meditation at minute [18:30].
      • Valerie describes two tiny interventions we can do to repair attachment and reregulate our nervous systems under stress:

        • *Identifying what we are thinking and feeling and just accepting it with a deep breath.
        *Noticing moments of delight or comfort by pausing, breathing several times, and taking the moment in.

        Are you willing to try these simple interventions? What will help remind you to pause, accept, and notice?
        26 min
      • Mental Health Mondays - Sustaining Life in a Pandemic - Episode 5

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        This week Nikki Kennedy, LPC shares some thoughts on how we can have a trauma informed perspective in the midst of the pandemic.


        Questions for personal reflection or (preferably) discussion with someone else...    

        •What we are all experiencing with the global pandemic could be considered a form of trauma. Have you thought about it this way before? What things feel like they could be traumatic about this season for you, your family, or the world?  

        •Nikki describes some of the effects of trauma including (but not limited to) agitation, mood swings, anger, anxiety, panic, addiction, dissociation, self-blame, survivor guilt, physical symptoms, behavioral problems, grief, difficulty maintaining relationship etc. Have you seen any of these effects of trauma in your life? In your friends or family? In your children?  

        •Vicarious trauma is experiencing trauma from seeing the suffering of others. So even If you are not sick with Covid-19, knowing that people are getting sick and the general trauma in our world right now can have personal effects. Have you seen this in your life? What does it look like?   

        •“Making our implicit experience explicit” can help us to process the trauma we are going through. Who can you talk to this week about what you’re experiencing? Who are safe people in your life to share these types of things with?  

        •Take a look at this self-care wheel that Nikki shared: https://www.olgaphoenix.com/wp-conten...   What on this list could you do this week to bring some relief or comfort in this time? What self-care rhythms from this list could you build into your week?

        15 min
      • Mental Health Mondays - Sustaining Life in a Pandemic - Episode 4

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        This week Ramón Chaparro, bi-lingual therapist, shares some thoughts on how we may be experiencing things in this season that are akin to culture shock. 


        Questions for personal reflection or (preferably) discussion with someone else...   

        •When we are walking through our “familiar” lives it requires much less energy than what we are experiencing now. What do you think of Ramón’s framing of our new Covid reality as a form of culture shock?  

        •Ramón says that stress happens when what our environment demands exceeds our ability and our resources to meet them. What aspects of our current shift is reality are most stressful or “shocking” to your system?   

        •The good news is that we are designed to grow and adapt and meet the demands of our environment. How does it feel to hear Ramón say, “You got this”? Where have you seen this growth and resilience in your life before this current crisis?   

        •Ramón describes the four stages of culture shock: honeymoon, frustration, adjustment, acceptance. Where do you find yourself in these stages? Where have you already seen yourself grow, learn, and adapt in this season?   

        •Shifts in our identity can be disorienting. Have you experienced identity shifts in the last few weeks? In what ways?  •Do you notice changes in your body when you feel stress levels building? What kind of things happen in your body when you are stressed? How do you know you've reached your limit? If you’ve never noticed are you willing to try the exercise Ramón describes in the video (@24:00) sometime this week?  

        •What are things in your life that feel familiar that you could build into your new normal with Covid? Ramón uses the example of still packing a backpack for home school. What are some simple things feel familiar for you or your household that you could still do?   

        •We would encourage you to sit with Ramón’s closing thoughts today and revisit them throughout the week:   

        “The Covid pandemic is reality for us right now and we have to find the ways to be in that reality. I don’t think that means watching the news about Covid 24-7, please don’t do that. But it does mean figuring out what does it mean to live in this new normal… You got this. You were made to do this. We, as humanity, are made to do this… Something that connects us is that all of us were made to respond to the demands of the environment by growing because humans are growing creatures.”


        34 min
      • Mental Health Mondays - Sustaining Life in a Pandemic - Episode 3

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        This week Kay Neuhausel, psychotherapist, shares some thoughts on how we continue to walk through this difficult season.    


        Questions for personal reflection or (preferably) discussion with someone else...     

        •What comes up for you when you reflect on these thoughts Kay shared: “This is not normal… We were not made to live in isolation without connection.” & “This is traumatic for everyone and it’s going to impact us in different ways.”  

        •Do you wish you could just “unsubscribe” from everything that is going on right now? Since we are in this and we have to do it, what choices do we have?   

        •What is true and good about us is true no matter what is going on around us. What do I know right now to be true and good about me no matter what?   

        •Every experience we have in our lives is stored in our system with four components: emotional experience, mental/cognitive experience, physical experience, and behavioral experience. Kay talks about how bilateral stimulation (activating the different hemispheres of the brain through walking, tapping your shoulders, etc.) can help move hard things through these four components and also help imprint positive things in our nervous system. If this is the first time you’ve heard about EMDR and these types of tools, what do you think about it? If it’s new or you’ve heard about it before are you willing to try it this week?   

        •What is the hard thing you’re having trouble believing right now? What do you hope to believe, even though it is hard? Identify these and try walking or tapping through them. 

        •“I don’t know what to do.” “I don’t know how to do distance learning with my kids.” “I don’t know how to get food to people who don’t have it.” “I don’t know how to get connection when that’s what I’m made for and I don’t have access right now.”  There is a lot we don’t know how to do right now. When we are overwhelmed by what we don’t know how to do, we still have choice. What do you know how to do right now?   

        To learn more about EMDR check out Kay’s recommended super-practical resource: "Tapping In" by Parnell -- https://www.amazon.com/Tapping-Step-S...

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        32 min
      • Mental Health Mondays - Sustaining Life in a Pandemic - Episode 2

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        This week Ellen Haroutunian, therapist and spiritual director, shares some thoughts on how we can mindfully walk through this difficult season.

        Questions for personal reflection or (preferably) discussion with  someone else...   

        • In times of uncertainty and danger our automatic brain (the autonomic  nervous system) and our (fight, flight or freeze response (amygdala)  tend to go into overdrive. What does this looking like in your day to  day behavior under when you are under stress?/  

        • Ellen calls the prefrontal cortex the “wise mind.” Can you tell the  difference in yourself when you’re responding from this part of your  brain? What does that look like? If not, what do you imagine would be  different?   

        • The term “Mindfulness” is tossed around a lot today, but it simply  means to bring your attention back to the present moment. Have you tried  any of the practices Ellen suggests (noticing your breath, noticing  beauty, noticing sounds, etc.) or could you imagine trying one? That  could help you bring your attention back to the present moment?  

        • Have you noticed this fight or flight reaction in yourself that wants  “action” and resists making time to rest, be mindful, and switch into  the wise mind right now?   

        • What are some messages of self-compassion that you could give yourself  right now?

        22 min

      About Mental Health Mondays - Sustaining Life in a Pandemic

      From the publisher's feed

      A new regular rhythm The Refuge started the first week of the Covid-19 shut down is weekly "Mental Health Monday" interviews. As we're buckling in for the long haul together it's good to think through…