“What is the cost of masking? The mask protects you, but it always sends an invoice.” – Jacque Alvarez, Co-Host, We Should Be in Therapy
"Unmasking isn't about becoming someone new. It's about returning to who you were before you learned to hide." – April Hamm, Co-Host, We Should Be in Therapy
“We Should Be In Therapy is so refreshing... it gives women like me a safe space just to think about how we show up and how we bring about our full selves.” – Jasmine Guest-Sanders, M.S., Founder, J. Creative Consulting
👇🏽 Download your FREE Creative First Aid Kit (including the Sonic Anchor):
https://www.WeShouldBeInTherapy.com
⚠️ Content Warning: This episode contains honest, heavy conversations about the Baker Act, institutional trauma, misdiagnosis, domestic violence, systemic racism, and mental health crises. Please prioritize your nervous system. If you or a loved one needs support, call or text 988 (US) 24/7 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
(Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational support only. We are not your therapists; we are the village you’ve been looking for).
📖EPISODE DESCRIPTION:
What is the cost of masking? If you are exhausted by the “high-functioning” trap, this relatable mental health guide explores the psychology of masking, unmasking, and healing.
🛑 THE PROBLEM:
For many of us—especially neurodivergent individuals, survivors of domestic violence, and people of color—masking isn’t a performance. It’s a survival mechanism. But maintaining the “Strong Black Woman” trope, chronic code-switching, and pushing through midlife grief always sends a physical and emotional invoice.
“We call it resilience, but a lot of the time it’s just compliance.” – April Hamm
💡 THE SOLUTION:
In this episode, April and Jacque open the Digital Living Room to bridge the gap between clinical psychology and spirituality. April shares her true story of systemic academic trauma, the Baker Act, and the painful misdiagnosis that occurs when clinical systems pathologize spiritual awakening.
When traditional therapy or religion fails to hold the complex nuance of our lived experiences, we are left to bridge the gap ourselves. We provide a spoonie-friendly toolkit for safely putting the mask down, featuring insights from our favorite tarot card reading (the High Priestess!) and the vital difference between trauma-masking and intentional role-playing.
"For years, doctors told me my intuition was sickness... But the High Priestess isn't crazy. She's just tuned into a frequency the others can't hear." – April Hamm
Whether you are healing from CPTSD, navigating adult neurodivergence, or looking for self-care and self-help, this conversation is your therapeutic reset button.
🛠️ Need a safe place to start? Download our FREE Creative First Aid Kit here:
https://www.WeShouldBeInTherapy.com
🎙️ Tune in for Real Talk about:
* 🎭 The High-Functioning Trap: The physical and emotional toll of masking, code-switching, and chronic people-pleasing.
“The mask doesn’t mean you fail, it just means you survived. But survival was never meant to be the final destination.” – Jacque Alvarez
* ⚖️ When Systems Fail: April’s true story of misdiagnosis, the Baker Act, and the danger of criminalizing silence.
"You were chemically altering yourself to tolerate the intolerable." – Jacque Alvarez
* 💔 Midlife Grief & Hypervigilance: Surviving domestic violence, the “Strong Black Woman” trope, the perfectionism mask in motherhood, and grieving the version of you that survived.
"You can't live in a box that wasn't built for you." – April Hamm
* 🛠️ The Unmasking Toolkit: Low-energy somatic strategies and using role-playing as a therapeutic tool to safely unmask.
📌 CHAPTER MARKERS:
(00:00) Community Love & The Invoice of Masking
(01:34) Content Warning: A Safe Space for Mental Health
(02:23) Cup Check: Rest and the High-Functioning Trap
(03:51) Narrative: True Story of Academic Trauma & CPTSD
(12:37) Narrative: Misdiagnosis & When Clinical Systems Fail
(18:10) Jargon Jar: Psychology of Masking & Code-Switching
(23:14) Group Chat: The Invoice of Masking & Midlife Grief
(28:25) Mid-Roll: Free Mental Health Toolkit (Creative First Aid)
(30:18) Narrative: When the Mask Slips & The Danger of Unmasking
(38:16) Altar & Evidence: Spirituality & Tarot Card Reading
(40:37) Unmasking Toolkit: Relatable Self-Help for Safely Unmasking
(52:31) Body Scan: Sonic Anchor for Spoonie-Friendly Somatic Grounding
(52:55) Role-Playing vs. Masking to Protect Your Energy
(55:38) Final Thoughts: Redefining Strength & Building the Lighthouse
🫱🏽🫲🏾 RESOURCES FOR YOUR HEALING JOURNEY:
* Get the Toolkit: Download our FREE Creative First Aid Kit (featuring the Sonic Anchor and Color Breathing guide) to help regulate your nervous system.
https://www.WeShouldBeInTherapy.com
* Crisis Support: If you or someone you love is struggling, you don’t have to carry it alone. Call or text 988 (US) 24/7 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
* Connect with the Village: @WeShouldBeInTherapy
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ HELP US BUILD THE LIGHTHOUSE:
If this episode helped you carry the load a little lighter, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify so other cycle-breakers can find this safe place to land!
COMMUNITY SPOTLIGHT:
A massive thank you to Jasmine from [J. Creative Consulting](https://www.jcreativeconsulting.com) for sending us some love this week! J. Creative Consulting helps mission-driven organizations thrive!
“I absolutely love, love, love We Should Be in Therapy Therapy podcast! I think it is so refreshing, so new, and just so innovative…It gives women like me a safe space just to think about how we show up and how we bring about our full selves into places and spaces.” – Jasmine Guest-Sanders, M.S., Founder, J. Creative Consulting
🕯️ CANDLELIGHT VIGIL:
This episode holds space for the profound grief of losing those we love while we are still trying to survive. As always, we hold this space for our spirit guides—the loved ones who have transitioned and continue to light our way.
In loving memory, we are holding special space and lighting a candle for:
* Jacque’s brother, Guillermo
* Jacque’s friend, Keswany
* April’s cousin, Tiffany
* April’s friends: Dereck, Emerita, Kenya, Lydia, and Tamara
Your light remains a part of our story.
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