Mental Mastery

When you step back and evaluate, which are you? We are one or the other, or both. Sometimes we are an anchor for ourselves but a sail for others. I have been there before. I have also been the sail for myself but an anchor for others. 

So what does it mean to be a sail, not an anchor? Anchors keep us in place, in one place. Sails help us move from one place to another. Sails respond to the wind. Sails are an image of freedom, of adventure, not standing still, going over the horizon into the unknown. 

Sails are powered by the wind, which we have no control over. They carry us to places we may never have visited or stopped without the wind. The wind, in this situation, is others. We have many opportunities to do many things in life but if we don’t have a little “wind power”, we often can’t make it there on our own. Sails carry us into the vast expanse of the seas, where the storms rage and the waves are big. That is where we earn our sea legs.

Just like anchors, there is another side to sails as well. Some “winds” can move your sails without knowing or caring if you are ready. They don’t take the time to understand if you are ready for that push and are only seeing the pushing off the boat, not the personal growth. 

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

• H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Anchors are great for keeping boats and ships safe. In a protected harbor, out of the elements. Safe. Anchors are not necessarily negative or bad people. They are just complacent and hold you back from your potential. They prevent you from making change and feel finding potential growth that is deep inside you. They view mistakes as fatal flaws and thus make you afraid of what you might become if you did something different. 

Conversely, anchors can be good things in your life. They can ground you because you aren’t ready to be pushed forward. They care about you enough to hold you in place so you can prepare yourself to be pushed forward.

So, how do you know which you are at this moment?

• Do you hold others down or do you push them to reach their potential?  
• Do you take time to whether the person you’re helping needs to be pushed or grounded?  

If you're the wrong kind of anchor or sail, it's really easy to change. All you have to do is realize that every person wants to improve, and if you will embrace that fact, you'll instantly figure how you can be the right kind of anchor or sail that will help them harness their winds of change to move them to the place that they want to be in the manner that they need to get there.  

You are the captain of your own ship. 

What does it mean to “Take the Hill”

In military terms, it is the declaration of a tactical maneuver that will include a violent assault upwards (physically) in an attempt to take the high ground. The higher ground is the tactical advantage. It could be on top of a building, a hill, a canyon rim, or a watchtower. Tactically, this is a superior advantage over being “downhill”

To take it a step further, taking the hill is a commitment to achievement, at any cost. The mission is to attain the higher ground so strategically, it is planned for. With every aggressive action in life, there are consequences. Some severe and some not but it is understood at the beginning. 

How can you apply that to life?

Like the “burn the Boats” discussion, we must find something that is so tactically important to our lives that we are willing to make the sacrifices to attain it. The uphill battle is one of the toughest ones you can fight from a tactical setting but in the end, the value of the hill supersedes the known and accepted risk.

What do you have in your life that is your “hill”? What objectives do you have that are of high value?

Oftentimes, we do not see or appreciate the hills in our life that need us to stand on them. This can lead to a feeling of despair or being lost. This can lead us to just fumbling through the daily process without real meaning. From a mental health perspective, this can be very damaging to our progress and self-worth. 

I like to think of goats when I think of high ground. They love to stand on things. Whatever they can get on to be higher than those around them. We have all seen those silly goat videos. 

Find yourself the hill in your life and pursue it with purposeful action and an aggressive pursuit to earn it. 

Be like a goat and go stand on something :)

How do you go from good to great? How do you become what you are meant to be? Going from good to great requires many things but it is attainable for anyone. 

 “No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking”

 Voltaire

 Going from good to great requires a few things but the most important one is desire. The desire to put in the reps. The desire to grow. The desire to become. 

Putting in the reps

Let’s look at some of the all-time greats and try to understand why they became great. Sports is the easiest to see quickly but there are many more

Jordan, Kobe, Will Smith, Favre, Nolan Ryan, Drake, Bill Gates, Serena Williams, Elvis, Muhammad Ali, Michael Phelps, Justin Timberlake, Usain Bolt

 What sets them apart? Work ethic is probably the most obvious one. Sure they all have “talent” as society defines it but we all know the quote.

“Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard”

There are literally millions of talented people in the world. Why do the ones on the list, or ones you think of, prevail over all of the others? There are many things but the key is the hard work. The reps. The miles. The hours. The grind. 

 Have you seen the Under Armor commercial with Michael Phelps? It is called “Rule Yourself”

The quote that comes from it is:

“It’s what you do in the dark that puts you in the light.”

The reps. The practice. The time in the movement of your craft. 

Think about the thing that you do for business, work, and sport in your life. Think about where you started and where you are currently at. What can you attribute your growth to? Luck? Fate? Passion? Desire? Work? Focus? Sacrifice? 

I bet if you wrote down the things you think helped you get where you are, the work ethic, grind, and maybe stubbornness can be attributed to a lot of your success. 

Does luck play into it? It depends on what you consider luck. Do some people just get lucky? I am not so sure. In order to be able to take advantage of the thing we call luck, you have to be in a certain position to be successful when that opportunity presents itself. Just something to consider. 

Perhaps I should have talked about what the difference between good and great is :) 

Remember, as Zig Zigler said:

 “You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”

https://vurbl.com/station/1V33hTFynhC/

Relationship development and the impact (good and bad) of those around you. 

Invest in those relationships as they keep you grounded and give you a solid foundation for personal growth. 

We have discussed it many times but it is worth reiterating. Your ability (empowerment) to be open to being vulnerable partially hinges on the circle of people around you. If you have the right people in the right places in your life, you are more open to being vulnerable and ultimately, having more growth opportunities. 

I call this one “Breaking Bread” because to me that is the physical act of sitting with someone over coffee, dinner, or drinks and exploring the path, lessons, and experiences of another person. It is giving your time around a table or commonplace to connect and learn about another person. 

To have the right people in the right places, you must be more invested in the growth of those around you than your own growth. Understanding relationship development is something that people have been trying to do for years. Is there a formula for it? Not really because you are dealing with logical and emotional creatures.

One thing that I have found to be true in all scenarios, is to care about others more than you care about yourself. Care about their success more than your own. 

Focus for the week. Do one thing to give back to someone who makes a difference in your life every single day for the next seven days. This can be a spouse, co-worker, parent, team mom on your kid’s sports team, really anyone

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

— Dale Carnegie

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We are always searching for something. Sometimes we are afraid to look at that question and allow it to lead us somewhere. The unknown.

The fear of it and what could be out there can grip you. So I ask you...what are YOU looking for?

We look for things like: Purpose, Money, Love, Happiness, Challenges, Intent, and so much more.

A lot of the time we are afraid of what we will find so we don’t allow the desire to search and explore to prevent us from doing just that.

Let's search and destroy!

Life has made me ask the question of why a lot this year. Why I am the way I am. Why I care. Why I get frustrated with certain things.

What I’ve learned is that it’s not what I want to know why about, it’s how I ask myself. 

Do I ask myself from a place of frustration or a place of exploration? Am I open to exploring or puzzled at the reaction I have?

Seeking the why is the 2nd level of exploration. The first is appreciating and understanding that something needs to be discovered. It could be the pursuit of a new hobby, a new relationship, writing a book, or a new job. 

Why is a very powerful word. How you ask why is just as important as the question itself!

My challenge to you this week is to ask why about 3 things. 

1. Why are you reactive to certain situations?
   1. What is it about that situation that creates the reaction?
   2. Is it a logical or emotional reaction?
2. Why do you do what you do?
   1. Hobbies. Work. Family. Travel. 
   2. What is your why for those things?
3. Why do you care about exploring why?
   1. This one is the harder one because you may not know
   2. There is always a reason behind the further exploration
      1. We don’t just explore for the fun of it. There is something there drawing us to it

This week make those 3 questions become real and let’s see where it takes you. Be open to where you may go with it

Be a better me

I had someone reach out recently and the main question they wanted to ask was if I would talk about how to “be a better me”. When I read that in the email it caught me off guard at first because it didn’t make sense. Then it hit me.

This person was searching for something. They were looking for a foolproof way to “be better”. But be better at what? Being better, isn’t that just a state of self-imagery? A place that you look to see if you are different but in a progressive way?

We have all wanted to be better at some point. Better at our relationships, better in school, sports, better parents, etc. But what in the hell is being better actually? What if you are better now but just don’t see it?

So in an attempt to provide that answer let’s do a little searching. Better is being more than you were yesterday. If that is how we are going to define it then how do we measure it? 

What is it that you really are seeking when you ask that question?

• MUST LISTEN TO PODCAST RECOMMENDATION

• Better, Etc with Trista Sutter - Podcast

Be more consistent with your exercise, more sleep, drink more water…

You have to know what you want to be better at and make it measurable so that you can actually achieve. 

If you cannot define being “better”, you will be unable to change it. Period.

The word struggle is a word that when we hear, we cringe. We know the context. We know what it means to struggle. 

We work very hard to ensure that our children and family don't feel the struggle. Sometimes we even put ourselves into compromising situations to make sure that those we care about don’t struggle. As a society, we have an extreme aversion to discomfort. 

What if I told you that the struggle is what you need? We are all “from the struggle” whether that is your upbringing, college debt, losing a job, or a failed relationship. The struggle is what shapes us and helps us realize what is really necessary. 

Struggling, and subsequently, surviving a struggle makes us feel accomplished, powerful. It makes you feel like you actually matter.

Everything that is old becomes new again! 

I am mixing it up and getting back to the roots of the quick, 2-4 min Monday ear worm to get your week going! 

Have you ever encountered something so profoundly awesome that it drew your attention and you could not seemingly look away from it? It could be a school you attended, a person you were attracted to, a home remodeling project, or just a place you wanted to travel to.

Something that causes you such great Focus that you are willing to make whatever sacrifice necessary to achieve. Something that grips you. Changes you. 

When is the last time you went deep? I mean really tested yourself. Entering into it knowing that you could fail but moving forward anyway?

This weekend I was able to witness something truly incredible. I watched one individual who set such a lofty goal that is taking them multiple years to achieve it. They set out on this goal believing they could make it every single time it was their intent.

The goal, while seemingly crazy and virtually impossible for the majority of people, isn't necessarily the target of this discussion.

The intention and action towards that goal is our discussion.