Messy Classy

Let's reframe what confidence actually is and how to become confident. Because what you think confidence looks like is different to what it actually is.

We are taught that confidence is loud and performative and extroverted, but really, confidence is quiet.

There's a calm power that comes from someone who is truly confident and trusts themselves and their decisions.

So, in this episode, I want to talk about how my views on confidence have changed over the years and how it's easier to see in someone else rather than ourselves.

I've also learned that the way to build confidence isn't following a ten step plan, but really trusting and believing in yourself.

All of us want to transform into a more successful, hotter, richer, more powerful version of ourselves. But at what point are you actually changing or just performing change? When does it become real?

Let's talk about the difference between whether you are making changes in your life and becoming a 'better' version of yourself, or whether you just doing to impress others, even people you don't know.

And let's not forget that sometimes you're just trying to impress yourself and perform for a version of you that you want to be. This performance can be internal.

And I don't even think any of this is wrong. Does it really matter if the habits and lifestyle that you are performing are just for show? Doesn't it help you get there anyway?

Change is inevitable, so why not create an aspirational fantasy version of yourself that you want to be, and then act like it whether you're there or not. Is it wrong?

But maybe it's deeper and more complicated than that. Because changing habits and schedules is one thing, but without identity shift behind it, it won't stick long term.

What Happens to Your Friendships When You Start Leveling Up?

In this episode, I wanted to explore how much your relationships change when you start improving your life. Even if you don’t want them to.

And not only how other people are acting toward you, but how you view them now, and how your growth allows you to see behaviours more clearly.

Because I've noticed that it isn't always that other people view you differently, but rather because you view yourself differently you don't necessarily feel comfortable with old friend groups, because of the way they act or the activities they like to do.

The pulling away of friendships can often start with you and then other people begin the 'you've changed', 'you think you're better than us' conversations.

Which isn't actually true, but it's always about your own self perception first.

Sometimes wanting more is actually wanting less. Less chaos. Less clutter. Less noise. Less pressure to become everything all at once.

And honestly? Simplifying my life has improved it more than constantly trying to optimise it ever did.

Today, let’s talk about why simplifying your life might be the biggest upgrade you can make.

Because the truth is, most of us are exhausted not because life is hard, but because we’re overcomplicating it. We’re trying to do too much, become too much, prove too much.

At some point, I realised I didn’t actually want more things on my schedule. I wanted more peace. More clarity. More time for the things that actually mattered to me.

Overdressing can change your life (and you personally) for the better.

Most people dress to disappear socially, they don't want to stand out. Overdressing forces visibility and allows people to see you. And when people see you, that's when change happens.

Not only from others, overdressing creates visibility and that changes your self-perception first. The internal shift is what helps make the improvements, because that self-perception changes how you see yourself.

Your behaviour changes the social responses that you get from others which in turn builds your confidence and this repeats and builds, and eventually you stop seeking approval altogether.

All from wanting to stand out with your clothing and style.

And that is what will change your life, darling.

Here is how you can feel chic again, because you already have it within you. We just need to draw it out.

Chic is not wealth. It’s curation, restraint, standards, softness, and self-respect. So in this episode, let's talk about some of the small and simple things that you can do to help yourself feel more chic and classy again.

And don't forget to stay messy classy darlings x

Let's discuss the social anxiety of levelling up. The specific discomfort of moving between social worlds, feeling like you don't quite belong in either.

This is something that I experienced a lot when I moved into a different social circle over the past year and a half, and also again now as I move toward a new career direction.

Everyone talks about levelling up your life, but no one talks about that in-between period, that limbo feeling, where you don't fit in to your new life yet, but you've outgrown your old one and don't belong there either.

How do you become more refined, classy, or elegant when you didn't grow up in that environment? Is it possible, and how to do it?

In this episode, let's discuss why you want to level up and become more classy, the steps and mindset it takes to get there, and what I specifically did to move into a more elegant lifestyle when I came from a low-income family.

I'm back with a new episode about where I've been and the changes I'm currently making in my life. We'll talk about night routines, levelling up, wardrobe refreshes, and general life overhauls.

You’re allowed to want more, darling, but sometimes more means less.

Let's talk about how to live more beautifully without complicating your life.

We'll discuss:

• Letting go of excess

• Choosing quality over quantity

• Editing your life gently

• Allowing mess — but with standards