MetaMentoring Podcast

It's been a year and 2 months since I was treated for my rare autoimmune disease, and now I've got a book describing my descent into disease and the impact compassion had on my health. What a difference a year makes! 

In this recording, I read aloud the introduction to my book, "Finding Ahimsa". I hope my introduction gives you a taste of what the book will be like and whether you would enjoy reading it. It's an emotional book.

My book is available for purchase in paperback and ebook. (I'm working on the audiobook now!) 

https://metamentoring.ca/my-book%3A-finding-ahimsa 

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💙 Erin 

Have you ever struggled to find the right words to say to someone navigating disease or chronic illness? Perhaps you want to be supportive but nothing sounds quite right? Or maybe you have a chronic illness or disease or something you're grieving and you've been on the receiving end of comments from others that miss the mark and leave you feeling more alone? If you answered yes any of these questions, you'll want to listen to this conversation I have with Susie "Learning about Negative Positivity". 

In this conversation Susie and I explore the term "Negative Positivity" and how it might be a better term than "Toxic Positivity". Susie will share common Negative Positivity comments people say, how that can be felt by chronically ill/ grieving people, and what someone could say instead. I think this recording is a gentle way to explore these ideas. Especially if you don't feel up to having a more direct conversations with people, this could be a less threatening first step.

Susie is a Canadian author, public speaker and singer-songwriter currently living in the UK. She was diagnosed almost dying with Type 1 Diabetes at the age of 9, and has been collecting illness ever since. With a regular column called, 'Expert Patient Here to Help!'  in six Manitoba newspapers, Susie is passionate about helping people go from being a patient (just a number), to a person at the doctor's office. She also aims to help people reframe their language when it comes to being supportive to those hurting. ‘Negative Positivity’ is real. You can find multiple articles Susie has written about living with illness in The Mighty, an online health community supporting people facing health challenges and disabilities. She has just finished a manuscript called, 'Help the Doctor Help You! 25 tips for getting the BEST at your Appointments' and it will be released April 18, 2023. She is also working on a memoir about her chronic illness life.

Website www.lesshealthstress.com 

Instagram: @medicalmiss_stress

TikTok: @Susie_Schwartz

Weekly support to your inbox: 'Convos with Carlos - 1 Care, 1 Quote, 1 Question' Linktree link: https://linktr.ee/SusieSchwartz 

Susie and I both wanted to reiterate that we're all learning as we go. We've all said Negative Positivity statements before. (I'm going to share one of my misses on my social media and no doubt, I know I will likely accidentally say them again!) However, my hope is that with openness and reflection, we can be more aware of the words we're using and how they might be received. Words matter.

Check me out at:
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Support me at:
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💙 Erin 

#negativepositivity #toxicpositivity #chronicillness #nvc #selfawareness

Have you ever felt really emotional and made choices based on your initial reactions? Or have you felt so discombobulated and desired relief so deeply, that you followed other people's advice without feeling much relief in the end? Or have the people around you felt triggered by your pain and pressured you to take action based on relieving their discomfort or meeting their needs?

I think these things have happened to all of us, but they don't have to. We can practice self awareness techniques to get better at making choices that reflect our values.

If you practice identifying your feelings and needs and stay in empathy until you feel clear about what you want to value, you'll be more likely to feel empowered and settled in the action you choose to take.

In this recording, I talk with my NVC support group about a personal experience with sexual harassment. We explore the need to trust ourselves so we can be aware of our boundaries and how we wish to respond to boundary violations. We also talk about sexual harassment and use my real life example showing the importance of getting clear about needs before making choices (we refer to Inbal Kashtan's Tree of Life).

This is the third recording in a three part series. It's conversation style with a bit of my reflections mixed in.

If you're curious to try NVC yourself (I offer free workshops), sign up for my learning community newsletter on my website www.metamentoring.ca

Check me out at:
www.metamentoring.ca/
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Support me at:
www.patreon.com/metamentoring

💙 Erin 

Have you ever felt so passionate about something that you became pushy or forceful? Did you ever feel so "right" in your beliefs that you reached strongly when others weren't doing what you thought they "should"?

It happens to all of us. In fact, this part of us that shows up with passion is trying to give us clues as to what we wish to value or what we wish others around us would value.

In this recording, my NVC support group (Sonia, Liz, Char and I) reflect upon my experience of being sexually harassed at the grocery store. As they explore their jackals, it gives me an opportunity to try on different reactions to see if that's what I'm feeling or wish to value.

We also think about the protective nature of the jackal and explore how to balance our protective role as parents with our wish to empower our kids and support their body autonomy.

This is the second video out of three. I describe the strategy I chose to bring me peace in the final recording, part 3. The recording before this video is about exploring the initial feelings and needs. We have recorded this as a conversation, not as a podcast and I hope you enjoy getting to listen in on our thoughts.

Check me out at:
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💙 Erin 

Have you ever experienced a boundary violation that left you confused, discombobulated, and questioning whether you interpreted it right?

In this episode, I explore one of the first boundary violations I experienced when I was re-emerging in the world after a long period of not engaging with the world due to being sick and the healing from my rare disease. When I experienced a boundary violation, sexual harassment, my body reacted differently than my brain. I felt confused and uncomfortable. Leaning on my NVC support group, Char, Sonia, and Liz helped me gain clarity on what I was feeling in response to what happened and the needs behind those feelings.

Having an NVC sorry group was fundamental to my understanding of this triggering event. I was able to shift from a protective, fearful reaction to one that ultimately felt empowering. Everyone should have an NVC support group!

This segment is the first part of three in which we reflect on our reactions related to feelings and needs. It's a conversation between the for of us, not scripted or planned. You get to listen in to our process of using NVC for ourselves and as a support to someone else.

The second episode in the series will look at how we explore our "jackal" side to help us understand what we wish to value. The final segment of this three part series looks at the tree of life and how getting clarity on our feelings and needs and receiving empathy can guide us in our decision making. Those episodes will be posted soon! Stay tuned!


 Check me out at:
www.metamentoring.ca/
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Support me at:
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💙 Erin 

I've been trying to get back to the work I love to do, and it's taken me so long to get back into it. Even after I was physically doing really well, emotionally I felt too fragile to return to work that requires reflection, connection, and vulnerability until very recently.

I decided to make this the topic of my first solo recording after taking a year-long break due to illness.

Although I felt a push (from where?) to get back to work and resume life, upon reflection, my instincts to go slow make a lot of sense. My body had retuned to being less busy and social in the world, like many of us likely experienced in the pandemic. My disease has brought with it new needs and risk tolerances. I need to go slowly and check my boundaries in every relationship to determine my physical and emotional safety.

This combination of retunement and navigating new boundaries, has left me feeling really "off".  I've needed to go slow to determine what is safe and what isn't.

Using Dr. Stephen Porges Polyvagal, I will explore that resilience is fostered through the very process I'm navigating - experiencing stress and moving out of homeostasis and then returning to safety to resume homeostasis. Sometimes we return to safety on our own and other times we need support from others to help us co-regulate and return to safety.

Key take aways from this podcast;
*What is retunement?
*What is Polyvagal Theory?
*What is Co-regulation?
*Resilience is the stretching out of homeostasis and returning back to safety.

In the next podcast, I share a reflection from a real life example of how my NVC group offered me co-regulation when I needed it most. Building resilience sure does take a lot of practice!

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💙 Erin

This is an interview with Sam Campbell.

Sam is a creative, engaging community leader and mom of five kids ranging in age from teen to adulthood. In this video Sam shares her wisdom about parenting and learning eclectically at home. I love the way she shares real life anecdotes with humour and self compassion. I think you'll find her openness and life philosophy inspiring.

Sam's spiritual podcast that she mentions in this video can be found at www.faithfullfearless.com If you are interested in finding out more about her alternative school in Hamilton, the outdoor programming her oldest son Soren is running in Hamilton, or just getting in contact with her, when we recorded this video she said I could share her email address which is [email protected]

I've taken a long break from engaging in this work I do at MetaMentoring due to my recently diagnosed rare lung disease. This video has been sitting on the "shelf", waiting to be shared for almost a year now. It is hard to believe that much time has passed! Thank you Sam Campbell for being so patient with me while I came to terms with and recovered physically from my disease. 💚🧡💙

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#unschooling #homeschooling #eclectichomeschooling

Bullying has been a topic I've been interested since encountering it as a teacher at the start of my conventional teaching career. I was struck by how common it is experience bullying... And how sadly ineffective we've been at curbing peer on peer violence.

In this podcast I'll explore how bullying and aggression are related, circumstances that lead to youth engaging in aggression and bullying, characteristics of bullying victims, what doesn't work to lessen bullying and what does.

This is such a big topic and I'm truly just sharing an overview based on my understanding of the bullying and aggression using nonviolent communication, brain science (influenced by Dan Siegel and Gordon Neufeld), and my experience teaching kids about boundaries and consent.

I have a few links to share too. The first link is the statistic I quoted in the podcast and the rest were part of my research.

There are so many tangents to pursue with this topic, I just might revisit it again one day.

Thanks for listening,
Erin

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Resources:
https://www.nveee.org/statistics/
https://wallethub.com/edu/e/best-worst-states-at-controlling-bullying/9920#expert=Stephanie_S._Fredrick
https://www.ditchthelabel.org/research-papers/the-annual-bullying-survey-2020/
https://www.publicsafety.gc.ca/cnt/rsrcs/pblctns/bllng-prvntn/index-en.aspx

Boundaries and consent are hefty topics and very much related to the way we parent. How can we create space for our kids to develop their capacity to identify, express, and uphold their boundaries and receive expressions of boundaries and consent from others? What happens if we don't give our kids ample space to develop these skills? How can we play an advocacy role with our kids and others? These are big questions that I'm excited to explore and share with you.

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This Episode of the MetaMentoring podcast is about disciplining your child.

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