Content warning: This story includes discussions of suicide, sexual violence, assault and abuse, including clergy sexual abuse. If you're having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988.In September 2013, former chancellor Jennifer Haselberger went public with allegations that the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis had mishandled clergy sexual abuse cases. A few weeks later, the Department of Catholic Studies at the University of St. Thomas was grappling with accusations in its own community. Father Michael Keating, one of the department's most popular professors, had gone on leave. A young woman had come forward with allegations that he had abused her as a child. The story circulating among students was that she had misremembered and was lashing out because of mental instability. The head of the Department of Catholic Studies, Dr. Don Briel, knew much more than he was letting on. And all of this brought new pain as it was uncovered years later.So what happens when the Church’s silence and institutional neglect continue to allow abuse to flourish? In this latest episode, we explore the horrors behind sacred facades, revealing how charisma and ideology can mask devastation for decades. This episode isn't just a story — it's a call for accountability, a journey through trauma, and an urgent plea for renewal within an institution that is supposed to help those hurting, not harm them more deeply.

Chris also shares my own painful journey from admiration to disillusionment, unpacking the scandal of Father Keating’s alleged abuse and the Church’s complicity, as well as the ways in which the Catholic Studies program at the University of St. Thomas furthered harm. And he also uncovers his past experiences of sexual violence in the midst of this. We’ll explore the how Church leadership ignores warning signs, and how a community’s silence can enable ongoing harm — often at the expense of the most vulnerable. We break down the systemic failures and explore the emotional toll on victims who had nowhere to turn, fostering both fury and hope for change.In this episode, you'll uncover:

• The complex web of lies, cover-ups, and silence that allowed abuse to persist in Catholic institutions for over a decade• How charisma and intellectual brilliance can be tools of manipulation, enabling predators to evade justice

• The subtle ways the Church’s teachings and community dynamics can foster silence and self-blame among survivors

• The transformative power of truth-telling, healing, and holding institutions accountable in the fight for justice and renewal

• Why acknowledging the ugliness is essential for genuine spiritual and institutional rebirth

This is a story for anyone impacted by abuse, advocates for change within religious communities, and those searching for hope amid betrayal. The Church’s moral authority is at stake — but beyond that, so is its capacity to love and protect its most vulnerable members.

00:00 Trigger Warning and Introduction00:49 The Keating Scandal Unfolds02:12 Community Reactions and Internal Struggles04:44 Revelations and Reflections05:35 The Impact of Abuse Documentaries11:36 Keating's Manipulative Behavior13:42 Rage and Responsibility18:53 Institutional Failures and Personal Accountability23:18 A Call for Renewal and Accountability29:16 Reflecting on the Catholic Studies Gala31:07 The Weight of Silence and Misremembering34:21 Messages from Alumni37:33 Personal Achievements and Exclusion42:21 The Power of Inclusion and Belonging46:07 Reconciling with the Past and Moving Forward

This is a deep dive into conversion therapy—its philosophical underpinnings, psychological history, theories, and practices. Conversion therapy shows up in the Church in many ways today and has impacted just about every LGBTQ+ Catholic. If you stick around to the end, you'll learn how conservative promotion of conversion therapy actually has its origins in liberal secular psychoanalysis that treated religion itself as a neurosis.The Church can let go of overly prescriptive and psychologically damaging approaches to homosexuality. Instead of inventing origin stories to change desires, the Church can help Christians clarify contours of their desires and identities, shaping them consistent with Christian commitments.00:00 Introduction to Conversion Therapy03:19 What Actually Is Conversion Therapy10:02 Historical Context and Psychoanalysis13:46 Freud's Influence and Theories17:18 The Gilded Age of Conversion Therapy22:16 Post-Stonewall Shifts and Religious Influence29:57 Modern Developments and Critiques35:46 Exodus International and Desert Stream Ministries37:16 Journey into Manhood: A Controversial Program39:10 The Ex-Gay Narrative in the Catholic Church51:53 The Psychological and Spiritual Harm of Conversion Therapy01:04:39 The Church's Path Forward: Integrating Tradition and Modern Psychology

Last night, I hosted an impromptu discussion on the Supreme Court decision that was just released for the case Chiles v. Salazar. The Court held that conversion therapy bans such as that in Colorado must meet the exacting requirements of strict scrutiny review, putting conversion therapy bans across the country at significant risk.

In this discussion, I’m joined by a diverse group of Catholics and ex-Catholics, including:

• the orthodox Catholic psychologist Julia Sadusky who submitted an amicus brief in the case,

• conversion therapy survivor and Dear Alana podcast producer Simon Fung,

• leader of the Catholic ministry Empty Chairs Justin Telthorst, and

• ex-Catholic and co-host of the Leave Laugh Love podcast Veronica Novotny.

We explore what the decision means, how it impacts our relationship to the Church, what we hope for the future, and much more!

00:00 Introduction to the Case and Participants

06:48 Supreme Court Ruling on Conversion Therapy

13:57 Understanding the Law and Its Implications

21:06 The Role of Therapy and Misconceptions

27:56 Personal Reflections and Broader Impacts

30:16 Understanding Amicus Briefs and Catholic Perspectives

33:03 The Role of Personal Faith in Public Discourse

35:39 Conversion Therapy: Personal Experiences and Church Teachings

38:36 The Impact of Healing Narratives in the Church

42:04 Legal Perspectives on Conversion Therapy and Religious Freedom

46:07 Building Bridges: Reaching Religious Communities

52:47 The Importance of Dialogue and Understanding in Faith Communities

57:37 Future Directions: Advocacy and Education on Conversion Therapy

Many women’s ministries are beacons of faith, community, and empowerment — but what happens when the internal culture turns controlling and toxic?Lindsay Shaw, who found herself deeply embedded in the world of the Catholic ministry Blessed Is She, pulls back the curtain on the spiritual abuse, perfectionism, and betrayal she endured behind the scenes. From navigating the pressures of ministry while battling cancer, to confronting the manipulation crafted by leadership — her story is a powerful wake-up call for anyone involved in high-control religious spaces.We explore how oppressive perfectionism and fear of retaliation create impossible contradictions for women trying to serve faithfully. Lindsay shares concrete examples of the controlling behavior, from being asked to hide her non-Catholic identity, to hiding in bathrooms during Mass, and the emotional toll of a relentless pursuit of perfection that damaged her self-worth and faith. Her story exposes the subtle but devastating ways spiritual abuse can foster shame, silence, and disillusionment — issues often overlooked in faith communities.We break down the patterns of control—rigid standards, silenced dissent, and the suppression of authentic voices—that often come behind the veneer of a loving ministry. Lindsay reflects on the importance of vulnerability, the healing power of community, and her journey toward reclaiming her identity outside the confines of spiritual manipulation. She also offers practical insights for survivors seeking to heal and rebuild trust, emphasizing that true faith nurtures love, dignity, and accountability.This is an listen for anyone questioning their experience in faith-based organizations, women feeling trapped in spiritual environments, or leaders committed to fostering healthier, more authentic communities. Lindsay’s courageous honesty highlights the urgent need for accountability, compassion, and reform within religious spaces — because believing in love and justice is not mutually exclusive.If you’ve ever felt betrayed, silenced, or overwhelmed by spiritual authority, this episode offers hope: healing begins with truth, community, and the refusal to accept abuse in the name of faith.00:00 Introduction to Deconstruction and Healing Conversations01:01 Lindsay's Journey to Blessed Is She03:50 Challenges in Ministry and Maternity Leave05:29 The Growth of Blessed Is She07:42 Exploring Faith and Catholicism11:21 Navigating Mistakes and Accountability14:53 The Impact of Leadership on Community20:09 Personal Struggles and Health Challenges24:45 Cancer Diagnosis and Community Support34:31 Navigating COVID-19 and Personal Beliefs36:38 Transitioning to Teaching: A New Chapter39:33 The Struggles of Leaving a Job41:47 Experiencing Spiritual Abuse45:30 Navigating Identity and Belonging49:09 Healing from Toxic Leadership52:46 Finding Self-Worth Beyond Work55:59 The Complexity of Relationships in Ministry57:14 Advice to My Younger Self01:00:01 Supporting Others in Their Journey01:03:36 The Challenges of Authenticity in Ministry01:07:59 Bonding Through Shared Trauma01:11:58 The Path to Healing and Acceptance01:17:12 Demanding Better from Ministry

Three former writers for Blessed Is She — Colleen, Patty, and Shannon — sit down to tell the inside story of a Catholic women’s ministry that went from a ragtag group of collaborators to a tightly controlled brand.

We talk about the early days of genuine community, the slow creep of theological “gatekeeping,” regional Facebook groups that needed “policing,” and how politics, bishops, and big money changed everything.

From pulled devotionals and monitored Instagram accounts, to queer women and converts trying to find a home in the Church, this conversation explores spiritual integrity, deconstruction, women’s voices, and what it means to walk away from a ministry that once felt like family.

00:00 Introduction to Blessed is She

08:04 Early Days of Blessed is She

15:34 Transition to Institutionalization

25:18 Financial Insights and Monetization

35:16 The Lint Book Controversy

41:57 Colleen's Exit and Regional Group Issues

46:08 Deconstruction and Moving Away from the Church

In this episode, Chris sits down with lobbyist and longtime Hill staffer Dan Tilson to have the kind of conversation you almost never see online: a nuanced, honest look at conservatism from two gay Catholics who refuse to stay inside culture-war boxes.

Dan shares his journey from Latin Mass parishes and Republican campaigns to lobbying on immigration, serving at a Catholic food bank, and working with lawmakers across the aisle. They dig into localism vs. centralization, Hannah Arendt’s banality of evil, Vatican II, compassionate conservatism, immigration and dignity, and what it means to seek holiness as “unwanted” people in the Church.

They also talk about social media performance vs. real life, LGBTQ Catholics who still love tradition, and Dan’s book Theology for the Unwanted, which invites Catholics to see themselves as part of a much bigger mosaic of grace.

Whether you’re progressive, conservative, or totally over labels, this conversation offers a different way to think about politics, faith, and each other.

00:00 Dan's Background and Political Journey

03:58 Exploring Personal Conservatism

09:34 Theological and Philosophical Influences

20:33 Immigration and Human Dignity

27:58 Global Compassionate Conservatism

32:54 Challenges in Progressive and Conservative Approaches

36:58 Surrogacy Laws and Church Opposition

40:45 Conservatism and Local Solutions

49:39 LGBTQ Catholics and Church Inclusion

In this episode, I step back from the culture war and ask a deeper question: what is erotic desire, and what does that mean for homosexuality and homoerotic love within Catholicism? Drawing on Plato, the Greek Fathers, John Paul II, Benedict XVI, and the Catechism, I argue that eros is far bigger than sex—it’s about beauty, creativity, friendship, and pro-creativity in the broadest sense.We explore the difference between homosexuality as a narrow catechetical category and homoerotic desire as any experience of being drawn out of ourselves by the beauty of a same-sex other. I unpack the notorious phrase “intrinsically disordered,” contrast pathological vs teleological readings of Catholic teaching, and show why chastity is about integration of sexuality, not the erasure of desire.Along the way, we talk about spiritual pregnancy, artistic creation, Francis of Assisi as an “erotic man,” the dangers of narcissistic eros, and why grace doesn’t destroy homoerotic desire but purifies and elevates it. If you’ve ever wondered whether there is a positive Catholic account of homoerotic love that takes both the tradition and real human experience seriously, this conversation is for you.00:00 The History of Erotic Desire03:26 Plato's Concept of Eros05:25 Christian Mysticism13:21 Integration of Eros and Agape in Christian Theology31:04 Catholic Teaching on Desire41:20 Chastity and Integration of Sexuality52:48 What's Next For the Church?

What does “traditional Christian marriage” actually mean? In today’s debates about same-sex marriage, Catholics and Christians often argue as if the tradition has always understood marriage as the highest form of friendship, intimacy, and personal fulfillment. But history tells a far more complex—and surprising—story. In this video, Chris Damian (attorney, gay Catholic, and writer) explores how Christian theology has historically understood marriage, friendship, loneliness, and human flourishing, drawing from: - Genesis and the problem of human solitude- Aristotle, Cicero, and Aelred of Rievaulx on friendship- Augustine and Aquinas on marriage and procreation- Modern Catholic developments like bonum coniugum- Pope John Paul II, Pope Francis, and contemporary canon law- The Supreme Court’s reasoning in Obergefell v. HodgesRather than arguing for or against same-sex marriage, this discussion challenges simplistic narratives on all sides and asks a deeper question: Have modern Christians misunderstood their own tradition?00:00 Why Marriage Is Contested02:00 Human Loneliness in Genesis06:00 What Friendship Really Means12:00 Is Marriage a Friendship17:00 Augustine and Aquinas on Marriage22:00 How Catholic Marriage Changed27:00 What Traditional Marriage Was29:30 Final Thoughts on Marriage

Is chastity merely a check-list of bad behaviors for Catholic singles to avoid, or is it something far more expansive—and more human?

In this episode, we dive into the recent launch of the dating app Sacred Spark and its controversial "broken heart" badge for those who don’t "value chastity." Using this as a jumping-off point, we peel back the layers of modern "purity culture" to reveal a surprising truth: the Catechism of the Catholic Church actually offers a vision of chastity that is far more nuanced, beautiful, and inclusive than the rigid rules often preached by Church leaders.

We explore a number of questions in this episode, including:

• Living Ideas vs. Crystallized Dogma: Drawing on Saint John Henry Newman, we explore how true doctrine must evolve and grow to stay alive.

• The Catechism’s Hidden Depth: Why the first ten paragraphs on chastity aren’t about sex at all, but about integrity, friendship, and human freedom.

• The "Heresy of Hedonism": How a fearful avoidance of intimacy can actually become its own form of self-centeredness.

• Social Sins and Sexual Health: A frank discussion on the link between purity culture and conditions like vaginismus, and how communities fail the LGBTQ+ collective by encouraging "double lives."

• Chastity as a Journey: Why you can be committed to growth in chastity even if you are having sex before marriage or deconstructing your faith.

Whether you’re a devout Catholic, a "heathen" seeker, or somewhere in between, this episode invites you to reclaim chastity as a virtue of integration rather than an instrument of shame.

00:00 Introduction to Sacred Spark and Chastity

01:13 Understanding Chastity and Doctrine

01:51 St. John Henry Newman's Perspective on Doctrine

04:21 Misconceptions About Chastity

06:44 Chastity as a Living Idea

10:01 The Impact of Purity Culture

11:37 Chastity and LGBTQ+ Experiences

14:10 Chastity and Social Context

18:39 Final Thoughts on Chastity

22:07 Conclusion

What does it look like when gay, queer, and trans people who were deeply formed by Catholicism sit down and speak honestly—without caricatures, slogans, or outrage?In this roundtable conversation, former and current Catholic insiders share their stories of faith, deconstruction, relationships, theology, and rebuilding a life after coming out. Many of us were theology students, pro-life activists, Latin Mass attendees, or church workers. We know the tradition intimately—and that’s why these conversations matter.This isn’t about winning arguments or tearing down the Church. It’s about telling the truth of lived experience, breaking down stereotypes on all sides, and creating space for deeper empathy, connection, and honesty.If you’re Catholic, queer, questioning, deconstructing, or trying to love someone who is—this conversation is for you.00:00 – Life Beyond Catholic Caricatures02:00 – Stories, Faith, and Deconstruction03:10 – Theology of the Body and Queer Experience05:00 – Desire, Love, and Real Relationships07:40 – What Changed After Coming Out11:00 – Normal Life, Privilege, and Safety18:30 – Building a Life with Openness and Joy