Yeah, yeah… we know it took a WEEK to post this episode after it was recorded.  Perhaps we need to find someone who can work as an entirely unpaid member of our staff for the purpose of taking care of these things for us.  On this exciting broadcast, the oil continues spewing, Evelyn rambles on with her commie environmentalist propaganda as Michael feels bad for BP, the FTC takes a gander at the office copier hard drive fiasco, 3D is just a bowl of smegma, and Michael plans to train his brain to see upside down.  It’s time to end the absurdity of marijuana prohibition, Montel smokes pot in front of the sheriff during a speech, and salvia is the new parental fear meme.  The Wikileaks guy gets arrested, this show needs an Israel expert, and Michael gets annoyed by attempts at multicultural pronunciation among TV anchors.  The VanDerSloot car confession is revisited, Helen Thomas makes us want to exclaim, “Oh, Grandma…” and GM has apparently hired the P.J. Goebbels PR Firm.  This broadcast rocked.

Here’s a link to Michael’s marijuana prohibition paper.

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Michael rolled solo tonight as Evelyn was out with scurvy or something.  BP appears to have plugged the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico, dumb environmental groups are going to sue over the whole thing, and nature blasts more oil into the ocean yearly than man could ever hope to.  Greece is hopefully teaching the United States a debt lesson, Ronnie James Dio checks out permanently, and it’s time to rethink our Facebook dependence.  Your phone likely will not cause your cranium to grow cauliflower, some 16 year old sailor with rich parents is pissed over the rules, and the Republicans are trying to win John Murtha’s seat.  Who cares.  Good for them.  Space shuttle Atlantis docks in space as astronauts determine how best to spread mayonnaise in zero gravity, the NBC Fall schedule is likely an epic fail, and Google was taking more than just pictures while assembling Street View.  Copyright claims are getting out of hand, your copier is saving everything forever, and everybody is shocked that Barack Hussein Obama would nominate a leftist to the Supreme Court.  Dummies.

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Any Valium in the house tonight?  Michael has had it with illegal immigration AND HE’S NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE, unfortunately Sean Hannity and his “Freedom Concert” circuit are a big fat scam, and Michael steps out on a limb by condemning the stoning of women.  Curtis is MIA, an entire song is composed using Windows error sounds (of which there are plenty), Indians have small penises, Evelyn gets a little “swooshy,” and the HP tablet is dead.

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On tonight’s broadcast, Evelyn reveals her apartment IS INDEED dark, foreboding, and unkempt in conformity with Michael’s suspicions, Michael has made an unhealthy hobby of wishing death upon certain celebrities, and Gizmodo is now using the “P” word in their whole iPhone 4G saga.  Evelyn hits a brick wall with her religious Barbie doll story, Michael goes on his whole Catholic Church rant… again… and he’s also tired of third world countries who don’t know how to govern themselves.  The Zoom H2 is a great EVP recorder, Senator Lindsey Graham is asked to “come out of the closet,” and face transplants are creepy.  President Obama should just shut up, Blippy’s customers can now Google their credit card information, and Windows Vista’s product activation causes Michael to develop a brain bleed.

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Tonight’s show featured an all-out, no holds barred knucklefest between Michael, Evelyn, and Nick of the Bedfordshire BNP (British National Party). Evelyn thinks the BNP are a bunch of kooks, and Michael wants to serve as their meeting-hall janitor (so long as Nick keeps the alien greys away).  Josh calls in to win a free piece of junk from Evelyn’s dark, foreboding, unkempt apartment, the president of constitutionally ambiguous Blackwater (now Xe Services) gets indicted on gun charges, and Michael wants corporations to pay no income taxes.  LightPeak might overtake USB 3.0 before the new USB protocol even gets off the ground, a bank robbery ends with a hug, and Michael suspects foul play in the tragic plane crash that took the lives of Poland’s president and others.

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Michael starts the show in an unprecedented display of humility by groveling for donations while shoveling food down his fat face, Mexicans enjoy bejeweled live beetles, and some of the best banging Michael has ever done was while blasted.  We’re living in a lobbyist driven prison contractor plantation, whatever the fundamentalist Christians believe is what Michael believes, and Dick Brass bitch slaps Microsoft in the New York Times.  The DOJ is still unsatisfied with Google’s plan to scan books, now matter how hard you try you’ll not find a video of the fatal luge crash, and Evelyn has advice for those of you who are having trouble sizing your “mams.” Bleh.  Michael is a hard-line radical neoconservative extremist who irresponsibly and imperialistically hopes Iran isn’t allowed to have nukes, if Obama stands firm against Chinese pressure to snub the Dalai Lama it’ll be a miracle,  and Michael torments Evelyn with the sounds of Fred.

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On this very special broadcast Michael does karaoke, Evelyn schedules an appointment with her otolaryngologist, and cats are making Michael want to kill.  A Chinese national is in trouble for selling phony Cisco components in the USA, most consumers report the iPad leaves them unconvinced, and Amazon’s tail is now between their legs.  Howard Stern might take Cowell’s seat on American Idol (if you cared), Michael Jackson’s doctor to be hauled in Monday, and Google should take their “Don’t be evil.” slogan and insert it.

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Tonight’s broadcast extravaganza marked a number of firsts as Michael walks off the show, Evelyn and Curtis proceed to demonstrate the unimportance of Michael’s continued presence, and CBS doesn’t want your gay kissing advert.  Tiger Woods gets a 9.2, and the iPad gets a 3.  Avatar might as well have been an Alan Alda film, anti-Obama sites are hacked, and Curtis is haunted by banging ghosts.

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Mordred joins us for our premiere broadcast of 2010 and subsequently fails to turn down his radio, Puerto Rican girls skip puberty, and audio bibles will save the Haitians.  Google falls victim to Internet Explorer, in some respects you could replace your Macintosh with a See ‘N Say, and Evelyn gets frothy over Lawrence Lessig.  You may not use financial aide to become a witch, Michael dreams of a violent revolution, and baby formula can kill.

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Tonight’s broadcast set a new record in length.  And girth.  Evelyn’s son is now into cannibalism, we have a recipe for becoming an anonymous Lotto winner, and the Western Digital TV Live has Michael feeling tingly and stimulated.  MiniNova goes legal and their users go AWOL, with the right amount of concrete and steel you can own your own country, and if you’re having marital problems just remember it could always be worse.  Just ask a woman in New Zealand.  Comcast wants to run the Internet (and the world), Curtis Thornton will eat whatever you tell him to, and you can now purchase your very own nuclear reactor.

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