Microtrending

However you feel about Sydney Sweeney’s American Eagle campaign, we can all agree on declining literacy of all kinds in this great nation. I have time to fight with stupid today, so let’s answer some of the most common defenses of the ad that’s “just about jeans” (12:53). You don’t have to be the friend that’s too woke to care about Operation B.E.I.G.E. <3

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XO, Gabrielle (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@saltlacroix⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠)  

If you plan on cheating on your significant other, you might want to consider what the global population and your dentist’s favorite band have to say about your choices, too. I have some thoughts on the Coldplay Cheaters, but many more on how “surveillance culture” is making us into neurotic little weirdos. Unpaid mall cops of the internet, if you will. 

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XO, Gabrielle (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@saltlacroix⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠)  

I think we can all agree that we as a country got the Love Island season we deserved. Interpret that as you will. Still, we can’t let this season pass without some very deserving awards in highly esteemed categories. Did your favorites make the cut? Listen to find out!
CORRECTION: There is a moment when I mistakenly refer to “Love is Blind” as “Love Island” and you’re going to have to deal with that. You know what I meant. 

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XO, Gabrielle (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@saltlacroix⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠)  

It’s time to sit down with the men in your life and assess how attracted they are to computers—or at least designer chatbots. I have thoughts on the trending story of the guy who proposed to his latin robot lover, and why this slippery slope is as dangerous as it is funny. Not unlike the Boston cop slide. 

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XO, Gabrielle (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@saltlacroix⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠)  

Sorry it’s been a minute—I went to Disneyland? Also, many teenagers are still afraid of Sabrina Carpenter, and by teenagers I mean the general public. Some mixed feelings on the yet-to-be-released “Man’s Best Friend” album cover, and some unexpected connections with Love Island USA (walk with me).

Want to put a microtrend under the microscope? Send your topic submission to [email protected] 

XO, Gabrielle (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@saltlacroix⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠)  

If you haven’t seen Kris Jenner’s new face, that’s just part of the Kardashian-Jenner biological lifecycle. For the rest of us, what does it mean to move from an era of Body Positivity to one of Body Optimization? Why are body parts trending, ever? (10:19)

Btw I somehow managed to get through this without reference to GLP-1s or The Substance but you can imagine where those things fall in, darling. Life imitating art, etc. 

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XO, Gabrielle (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@saltlacroix⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠) 

The netizens are fighting over chicness and their immunity to propaganda again! Let’s dive into the trends that are currently making us look like the spidermen pointing at each other meme (you know the one). I’ve got a list of things I’m “not falling for” (16:38) followed by your submissions (tysm).

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XO, Gabrielle (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@saltlacroix⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠) 

If you’ve ever encountered the phrase “let people like what they like” this one’s for you, bestie. Diversity of taste is kind of the glue of a functioning society, but that’s not us, is it? Digging into this dilemma at (11:24) then YOUR submitted icks, or things you get hate for hating.

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XO, Gabrielle (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@saltlacroix⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠) 

No one is trending more than the pope rn, but not too much on him. Just a little in the name of Catholicism. Then, a much needed gentle roasting of some of the worst 2010s style trends (8:56) because “recession indicators” seem to be rearing their heads. Stay back, mustache motif!

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XO, Gabrielle (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@saltlacroix⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠) 

We're back! In the wake of Operation B.E.I.G.E., a new school of thought emerges: have we become the Kidz Bop versions of ourselves? (5:32) Then, a look at some of your submitted "signs of the times" (derogatory).

Want to put a microtrend under the microscope? Send your topic submission to [email protected]

XO, Gabrielle (⁠⁠⁠⁠@saltlacroix⁠⁠⁠⁠)