Middle-Aged and Mediocre

We know, we know... Michael Myers isn't in the movie! This was the type of movie that John Carpenter originally envisioned the Halloween franchise producing. He wanted Halloween to be an anthology series that would tell a different story that took place during the spookiest season of the year but after the success of the first Halloween movie, the studio's eyes were replaced with dollar signs and they demanded more Michael. Carpenter gave in and killed off Michael and Dr. Loomis at the end of Halloween 2 so he could move on in the direction he intended the franchise to go in. The result was HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH... and people did not like it. People wanted to see the same old thing over and over again, so the film was a box office bomb. It has since become a cult classic of sorts and it has established a very large fanbase. Is the movie any good though?  We gave it a watch and we'll let you know what this movie's deal is. 

Eight more days 'til Halloween... Halloween... Halloween... Eight more days 'til Halloween... Silver Shamrock!

The final movie in David Gordon Green's HALLOWEEN trilogy has arrived and we have some thoughts.  Are we glad this trilogy has ended or did it leave us wanting more?  Check out the review to find out!

We review the slasher/home invasion flick called YOU'RE NEXT, released in 2013, from Adam Wingard featuring Sharni Vinson, AJ Bowen, Joe Swanberg, Ti West, Barbara Crampton, and Amy Seimetz.  "In an attempt to mend their broken family ties, Aubrey and Paul Davison decide to celebrate their wedding anniversary by inviting family members to their weekend estate. The celebration gets off to a rocky start when mysterious assailants wearing animal masks suddenly attack the house."

It's 4 AM in Bryant, Arkansas in 1987 as a 6,000-ton cargo train is making its nightly route from Texarkana to Little Rock when the engineer notices two immobile figures lying parallel across the tracks, covered from the waist down with a light green tarp, and with their arms straight down by their sides. The engineer immediately lays down the horn and places the train into a frantic emergency stop. Less than five seconds later, with no reaction or movement by either of the boys on the tracks, the train makes an impact with the two bodies, carrying them for a half-mile before the train comes to a complete stop.

The mangled bodies are identified as 16-year-old Don Henry and 17-year-old Kevin Ives. After the bodies have been identified, the case becomes a mystery that is filled with corruption, drug trafficking, a mountain of suspicious deaths, and cover-up after cover-up.

Cash and Joel take you through the details of this case and all of the characters involved including a sheriff who will only do his job if you don't criticize him, an ex-WWF wrestler who worked as security for drug traffickers, and a medical examiner who says a man missing his head died of an ulcer and that his head was missing because his dog ate it... and when the head is found several blocks away in the dumpster, he simply suggests that the dog regurgitated the head.

Yeah... it's that kind of story.

Cash and Joel review the 2022 film, PEARL, and then review the reviews of PEARL. Tons of SPOILERS so be warned! 

After the review, the guys talk about a tragedy from the 1800s that was caused by a clown being pulled downriver by four geese. If that sentence made no sense to you, you aren't alone! Check out the episode to hear what the hell it means. Then stick around for a story about a man who murdered and ate another man... a man named Kevin Bacon. Finally, Joel gets uncomfortable as Cash asks about his dating life.

Fights, stabbings, sexual assaults, shots fired — all at 312 Riverside Drive. Thousands of 911 calls going back more than two years flood, reporting major crimes occurring at this address — without question, the most dangerous address in New York City.  Police officers race to the tree-lined block of the Upper West Side, between West 103rd and 104th Streets, again and again with firefighters and paramedics meeting them there to respond to the overwhelming amount of emergencies.

But the responses all ended the same way: The emergency vehicles turned and left, their sirens off. The police, over time, stopped responding to the calls at all.

Because there is no 312 Riverside Drive.

Cash and Joel explore the sad mystery behind this nonexistent address that gets so many calls made to it because of horrific crimes reportedly occurring there. 

We also review the new horror movie from Zach Cregger, BARBARIAN, and if you haven't watched the movie yet, DO NOT listen to this part of the episode unless you want the movie ruined for you. BARBARIAN is best viewed knowing as little about it as possible. So go watch it and then come back and check out our review!

We've got two movie reviews for you this episode! We also review babies. It's reviewpalooza around here!

In this episode, we review the 2018 horror/comedy, "Blood Fest", available to stream on Amazon Prime Video. Fans flock to a festival celebrating the most iconic horror movies, only to discover that the charismatic showman behind the event has a diabolical agenda. As festival attendees start dying, three teenagers -- more schooled in horror-film cliches than practical knowledge about neutralizing psycho killers -- must band together and battle through various madmen and monstrosities to survive.

It's jam-packed with horror references and filled with gore but is it any good? Gonna have to listen to find out what we thought! 

In this episode, we review the 2019 horror film, "1BR", and then banter for a while about Vince McMahon retiring from the WWE amidst sexual misconduct allegations, how NOT to interact with professional wrestlers, Ric Flair's last match (Cash thinks Flair is overrated), and bar fights.  It's one of our longest episodes but it's a good one that you can divide into two parts if you want with the movie review being part 1 and then the wrestling/bar fight talk being part 2.

This episode reviews the 2019 horror film, "Satanic Panic", starring Hayley Griffith, Ruby Modine, Jerry O'Connell, and Rebecca Romijn. We didn't know what to expect going into this one but we were pleasantly surprised by how entertaining it was. From IMDB: "A pizza delivery girl at the end of her financial rope has to fight for her life - and her tips - when her last order of the night turns out to be high society Satanists in need of a virgin sacrifice." It's a wild ride and fun as hell with a lot of gore and unexpected moments. Hayley Griffith and Ruby Modine turn in great performances as the two young leads. Rebecca Romijn is wickedly evil in her role as the cult leader attempting to summon the demon Baphomet via the womb of a virgin. After we review the movie, we banter for a while about what we have been watching, including "Breaking Bad", "Better Call Saul", and the new Apple TV+ limited series, "Black Bird". Joel has a new hat that he is really excited about, Wendy's girl has gone emo and we're here for it, Chick-Fil-A wants to hire you to work for chicken sandwiches, and Earth is spinning faster so we're losing time!