If Part 1 was the foundation, Part 2 is where Laurie Gerber and I roll up our sleeves and get practical about the real midlife dilemma:

You want a real connection—and you don’t want dating to become a second full-time job.

However, Paul’s experience is that dating apps reward momentum; however, real attraction often requires trust. Too fast can feel unsafe. Too slow can quickly get “out-paced” by new matches.

In this episode, Laurie and I discuss the differences in our recommended approaches: how to keep things moving without coming on too strong, how to stand out without pressure, and how to filter for higher-quality matches—and what can look like desperation. 

What you’ll learn:

• The “numbers game” reality (and how not to let it wreck your mindset)
• How to get noticed: photos + personalization + consistency
• Why women may perceive “three messages then call” as “he just wants sex.” 
• Both a guy’s and a gal’s perspective on that pace of getting to a meetup with momentum + safety
• How to use your Deal-Breaker as a smart filter (Paul’s: personal growth)
• Why “one great date a month” can beat “one mediocre date a week.”

About Laurie Gerber

Laurie Gerber is the founder of Laurie Gerber Coaching, Inc. and the creator of Master the Art of Love, an online course for women over 50 who are ready to date like they mean it. She hosts the podcast Love at Any Age, and for over 20 years, she’s coached thousands of people in life and love, previously as President of the Life Coaching division at Handel Group®. Her work has been featured on the Today Show, Dr. Phil, MTV, A&E, Match, Zoosk, JDate, AARP, and her own Blog. Check out her TEDx talk on the power of truth-telling called “The Secret-Free Diet”

Listen to Love at Any Age on YouTube, Spotify, or Podbean, and grab her free webinar “3 Secrets to Finding and Maintaining Healthy Love without Repeated Disappointments” at https://www.lauriegerber.com/webinar

Connect with Laurie:
Website: https://lauriegerber.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@lauriegerbercoach
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lauriegerber_coach/

About The Midlife Dating Podcast / 50 Dates at 50

Paul Nelson is the host of the Midlife Dating Podcast and creator of the 50 Dates at 50 website. Helping Gen X and Baby Boomer singles learn to date smart, enjoy the process, and move from right swipe to real-life meetups with frameworks like the 3-1-1 Rule and Right Swipe Discipline.

• Watch the video version of this conversation on YouTube: https://youtu.be/6EgrxKee7hE
• Learn more and grab resources at 50 Dates at 50 – https://50datesat50.com/

Questions, Comments, or Podcast Topic Suggestions: [email protected]

In this episode, I’m joined again by dating coach Laurie Gerber (Love at Any Age) to unpack one of the biggest midlife dating challenges: how fast is too fast… and how slow is too slow? 

Midlife dating mixed with dating apps can create a pacing problem: momentum matters, but trust matters too… and misreading either one can derail the whole thing.

Laurie and I compare our two approaches—hers from a woman’s trust-and-safety lens, mine from a man’s momentum-and-street-reps lens—and we lay the groundwork for a practical, balanced way to date smarter.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The core “Momentum vs Trust” tension (pressure alarm vs lost match)
• Thoughts on meeting people organically with more strategy
• Needy or prepared?
• Laurie’s proven funnel: Text (1–2 weeks) → Video chat → Coffee date
• What’s the magic balance point for keeping momentum while building trust?

About Laurie Gerber

Laurie Gerber is the founder of Laurie Gerber Coaching, Inc. and the creator of Master the Art of Love, an online course for women over 50 who are ready to date like they mean it. She hosts the podcast Love at Any Age, and for over 20 years, she’s coached thousands of people in life and love, previously as President of the Life Coaching division at Handel Group®. Her work has been featured on the Today Show, Dr. Phil, MTV, A&E, Match, Zoosk, JDate, AARP, and her own Blog. Check out her TEDx talk on the power of truth-telling called “The Secret-Free Diet”

Listen to Love at Any Age on YouTube, Spotify, or Podbean, and grab her free webinar “3 Secrets to Finding and Maintaining Healthy Love without Repeated Disappointments” at https://www.lauriegerber.com/webinar

Connect with Laurie:
Website: https://lauriegerber.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@lauriegerbercoach
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lauriegerber_coach/

About The Midlife Dating Podcast / 50 Dates at 50

Paul Nelson is the host of the Midlife Dating Podcast and creator of the 50 Dates at 50 website. Helping Gen X and Baby Boomer singles learn to date smart, enjoy the process, and move from right swipe to real-life meetups with frameworks like the 3-1-1 Rule and Right Swipe Discipline.

• Watch the video version of this conversation on YouTube: https://youtu.be/gj4f8-9Wvbo
• Learn more and grab resources at 50 Dates at 50 – https://50datesat50.com/

Questions, Comments, or Podcast Topic Suggestions: [email protected]

Highlights for this episode:

In this episode, I bring on dating coach Laurie Gerber to coach me in real time—so you can hear exactly how a pro would tune up your dating life, too. 

Laurie and I talk about my 104/100 score on her “Are You Ready to Date Like You Mean It?” quiz, my 7 deal-makers, and why I’ve been attracting the wrong attachment styles for years. We discuss approaches to vetting on dating apps—my faster-paced, phone-call filter versus her methodical, text-and-video-chat approach. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Laurie’s 3 stages of dating over 50 and obstacles that often keep people stuck in “not quite ready” mode. 
• Why you may be attracting the same attachment styles that help to explain why you keep attracting the same kind of partner—and what to do about it. 
• Discussion of Deal Makers/Breakers to keep them positive and inspiring rather than secretly negative and judgmental. 
• A practical framework (Head–Heart–Hoo-ha) for assessing compatibility in midlife dating. 
• Laurie and Paul debate how quickly you should get to the phone call. Why moving too fast to the phone can cost you potential matches—and why Laurie prefers video chats.

About Laurie Gerber

Laurie Gerber is the founder of Laurie Gerber Coaching, Inc. and the creator of Master the Art of Love, an online course for women over 50 who are ready to date like they mean it. She hosts the podcast Love at Any Age, and for over 20 years, she’s coached thousands of people in life and love, previously as President of the Life Coaching division at Handel Group®. Her work has been featured on the Today Show, Dr. Phil, MTV, A&E, Match, Zoosk, JDate, AARP, and her own Blog. Check out her TEDx talk on the power of truth-telling called “The Secret-Free Diet”

Listen to Love at Any Age on YouTube, Spotify, or Podbean, and grab her free webinar “3 Secrets to Finding and Maintaining Healthy Love without Repeated Disappointments” at https://www.lauriegerber.com/webinar

Connect with Laurie:
Website: https://lauriegerber.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@lauriegerbercoach
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lauriegerber_coach/

About The Midlife Dating Podcast / 50 Dates at 50

Paul Nelson is the host of the Midlife Dating Podcast and creator of the 50 Dates at 50 website. Helping Gen X and Baby Boomer singles learn to date smart, enjoy the process, and move from right swipe to real-life meetups with frameworks like the 3-1-1 Rule and Right Swipe Discipline.

• Watch the video version of this conversation on YouTube: https://youtu.be/IMf4y3FGlUw
• Learn more and grab resources at 50 Dates at 50 – https://50datesat50.com/

Questions, Comments, or Podcast Topic Suggestions: [email protected]

Highlights for this episode:

Paul reviews the first five or over 30 Common Sense Dating Guidelines for the Gen X and Baby Boomer generations. The guidelines coalesce around the limited dating options these generations had in their youth compared to what is available today. Combining our life experiences with new dating tools, such as online dating, allows us to avoid the same embarrassing slip-ups we made in our youth. 

Guidelines in this Episode:

• Thou Shalt Not Fish Off The Company Pier
• Thou Shalt Not Fish At Thy House of Worship
• Thou Shalt Not Flirt With A Friend’s Partner
• Thou Shalt Not Date A Friend’s Ex
• Thou Shalt Not Date A Friend’s Sibling

Episode Links:

Questions, Comments, or Podcast Topic Suggestions: [email protected]

50 Dates at 50 Website: https://50datesat50.com/

Highlights for this episode:

Part 2 of Paul’s Holiday Dating-Themed Movie reviews for those Gen X and Baby Boomers who are solo this holiday season.

Love at the Christmas Table
A destined couple’s trip through time starts at age 4 in the 80s, and at age 4, they meet each year at an annual Christmas gathering.
https://youtu.be/4jkprYTRaRU?si=mHIfyHZTgZ5_F2wt
Lifetime Channel 2012

Spirited
Entertainment – Good Story, Musical, Quality Production Value, For fun to get your mind off how dating can be difficult during the holidays
Spirited — Official Trailer | Apple TV+
https://youtu.be/tnAJntI3NNs?si=Dkz4L13LVE4zovSr
Spirited — “Bringin' Back Christmas” Lyric Video | Apple TV+
https://youtu.be/_lOU_HN5bY4?si=Q2WRd8AHCUNP3jao
From Apple TV+  2022

Episode Links:
Questions, Comments, or Podcast Topic Suggestions: [email protected]
50 Dates at 50 Website: https://50datesat50.com/ 

Highlights for this episode:

Paul reviews holiday dating-themed movies for those Gen X and Baby Boomers who are solo this holiday season. There are a total of four picks. Two picks in this Part 1 Episode and two more in Part 2. Paul points out the common theme in these movies that is missing in online dating and why we should apply them all year.

The Holidate – 

• After Christmas, a pair of frustrated singles cross paths in the gift return line and agree to be each other’s platonic plus one on holidays throughout the year to relieve the pressure from being single from friends and family.
• Netflix 2020 
• Official Trailer: https://youtu.be/hxaaAoI57fk?si=sMuo_3b89ogeDJFY
• Important Note: This is not a family-friendly movie. It is best not to have children around when you watch this one or be prepared to explain some awkward situations. 

The 12 Dates of Christmas –

• Woman gets 12 chances to get a blind date right in this Christmas version of Groundhog Day
• ABC Family 2011 (Not to be confused with the HBO Max series)
• Official Trailer: https://youtu.be/JAyOZru4PTY
• Kate and Miles Meet as Strangers: https://youtu.be/AfNBr0w74uE?si=6KUMq921dubOpBhW

Episode Links:

Questions, Comments, or Podcast Topic Suggestions: [email protected]

50 Dates at 50 Website: https://50datesat50.com/

Quick Update:

After being on hiatus for a little over a year for a variety of reasons, we're back.

There will be new content starting late August of 2024.

Highlights for this Episode:

The Glossary term is: Orbiting, where someone keeps popping up on your social media radar, waiting to make a move for a date.

In the Retro/Etiquette Segment – We listen in on how the US Navy demonstrates to their officers the right and wrong way to handle a Dinner Invitation. From Blondes Prefer Gentlemen. 1965 US Navy Instructional Film.

Paul reviews the book: Dating Essentials for Men by Dr. Robert Glover. Highpoints include recognizing the Bad Dater Cycle, Understanding the Relationship Pyramid, where you learn to identify the correct type of person to date. And the significance of being a good ender and effectively ending relationships if they are the wrong type.

Episode Links:

Questions, Comments, or Podcast Topic Suggestions: [email protected]

50 Dates at 50 Website: https://50datesat50.com/

Dating Essentials for Men: The Only Dating Guide You Will Ever Need by Dr. Robert Glover   Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/Dating-Essentials-Men-Only-Guide/dp/B09C3FQ948/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1611579163&sr=8-2

Highlights for this episode:

The Glossary term is: The Maybe Date

In the Potpourri Segment, Paul offers listeners an excellent refresher on the highly effective 3-1-1 Rule. This straightforward and efficient three-step process not only helps you filter out the flakes and texting buddies but also saves you precious time, enabling you to swiftly move off the dating apps to a meet up date with someone who truly interests you.

Paul reviews the movie About Time. A heartwarming romantic comedy that will leave you feeling uplifted and inspired. With its poignant messages about the importance of cherishing every moment and what can happen when you get a do-over chance to approach dating situations with confidence.

In the Retro/Etiquette Segment – We listen in on how the US Navy recommends their officers conduct themselves with their dates at a dance or party. From How to Succeed with Brunettes. 1967 US Navy Instructional Film.

Episode Links:

About Time Official Movie Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OIFdWk83no

Questions, Comments, or Podcast Topic Suggestions: [email protected]

50 Dates at 50 Website: https://50datesat50.com/

Highlights for this episode:

The Glossary term is: Serendipidating 

In the Retro/Etiquette Segment: We listen in on how the US Navy recommends their officers conduct themselves with their dates in a small gathering. From How to Succeed with Brunettes. 1967 US Navy Instructional Film. 

Paul reviews the book: Find a Husband After 35 Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School by Rachel Greenwald, published in 2004. She has a 15-step, easily executable plan of action to market yourself to find better quality, datable, relationship-intentioned men. While written for women, men can easily apply most of Rachel’s advice. 

Episode Links:

Questions, Comments, or Podcast Topic Suggestions: [email protected] 

50 Dates at 50 Website: https://50datesat50.com/ 

Find a Husband After 35 Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School by Rachel Greenwald. Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/Find-Husband-After-35-Business/dp/0345466268/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1680099504&sr=8-1