Midlife Dating Podcast

"Oneitis" is a condition we all go through. It can start to sneak up within the first few moments of a phone call and linger for days before a couple even gets out on that first meetup. In this episode, Paul takes a closer look at this vocabulary term.

Many romances begin with a couple's mutual dislike for one another. As they spend more time together, they grow and bond. Leap Year (2010) is one such offering with plenty of comic relief. Due to the instant gratification of online dating, some will never get to experience a romance like this. Guys, this movie demonstrates how remaining a mystery creates attraction.

Omicron is making its presence known in the dating community, as things have regressed to the way it was last year at this time. Dates are becoming tough to put together. Paul here reviews how the phone call portion of the 3-1-1 rule is significant for filtering out the pretenders. What you should stick to on the phone call is also covered, as is the fundamental objective of the coffee date meetup. (It's not about sparks.) All this and more can be found in the November and December Dating Report!

50 Dates at 50 Website:  https://50datesat50.com/

They say that breaking up is hard to do—true, but you can remove a lot of pain on both sides by using The Two-Sentence Rule. Paul takes a closer look at today’s glossary term with some examples. Then he discusses what author Vince Guaglione calls the "Tinder Time Wasters" in Guaglione’s book Why Are You Still Single?: An Average Joe's Take on What's Really Going On in the Dating Pool and What You Can Do to Stay Afloat.

The dating question for this episode asks what to do if your boyfriend/girlfriend continues to communicate with their ex regularly, while in the central Potpourri Segment, Paul examines the case for Ghosting. 

In dating stories, Paul has two experiences from October demonstrating that dating is a learned skill and that it's easy to provide Too Much Information upfront without allowing yourself the time to provide context. He also notes why showing up to a date dressed for a Costco shopping run is not the best of ideas.  

In this episode, Paul breaks down the dating term "Needy" so you can identify what it looks like and steer clear of individuals who display it.

When it comes to getting back on the dating horse for Boomers and Gen Xers, Carol in the movie I'll See You in My Dreams provides a good look at what it's like. Bill demonstrates both a good old-fashioned take-the-lead attitude and the downside of coming on too strong. This movie has many dating and relationship messages for the 50 Daters age group.

Is breaking up by text message a good idea? It depends on the situation. Men often think they're in a relationship when they've only been out on a few dates. Paul discusses how that applies to this episode's dating and relationship question.

Is it better to arrange a coffee date or to go for alcoholic drinks on that first meetup? Much of it has to do with the phase of dating you're currently in and with your confidence level. Good dating skills take practice. Paul explains how to put yourself in a position to easily work with either drinks or coffee.

Everyone has had those Fridays where things are looking good going into the weekend, but then everything falls apart. Paul walks you through one bad weekend with a canceled date, ghostings, deletions, and incomplete phone calls. Knowing what a bad online dating weekend looks like and what the silver linings are will keep you from feeling so bad when it happens to you.

Psychology Today Article:  The Value of "Sober Dating"

50 Dates at 50 Website:  https://50datesat50.com/ 

Dating with Purpose is one of the main themes here at 50 Dates at 50. Today, Paul defines what that term specifically means. 

Ever date someone who insists on keeping in contact with their ex?  Paul explains what this reveals about your partner and what it says about you if you tolerate this type of behavior.

To give 50 Daters a foundational understanding of who Nice Guys are, Paul reviews No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover. 50 Dates at 50 is committed to opening the doors for Nice Guys and Nice Gals to grow into being Good Guys and Gals.

Is virtual dating here to stay? Most likely so, despite the many hidden landmines. It's also pretty much nonsense if you are banking on getting quality dates. However, it does have an essential silver lining.

Online dating offers what appears to be an endless amount of options, especially if you're new to it. However, you'll soon discover the harsh reality of being ghosted or quickly deleted for no apparent reason. Do you want to know what it really takes to set up one date per week? Paul walks you through his September by the numbers of initiated conversations, deletions, ghostings, phone calls, phone call no-shows, meetup dates, date cancellations, and second dates. This provides a good frame of reference for what a regular guy or gal can expect. The key, of course, is starting with good-quality pictures and a well-written profile.

50 Dates at 50 Website:  https://50datesat50.com/ 

When it comes to dating and relationships, daters are in a constant battle with Cognitive Distortions. Paul takes a quick look here at how this term applies to dating. 

In this episode's question, Paul explains why less time texting or on the phone equals more quality face-to-face time with your guy or gal. In this episode's movie review, he examines the dating and relationship messages in Our Souls at Night.

Many a Boomer and Gen X man has embraced the texting mindset from the Millennials and combines that with many long phone calls to their dating partner. Today's Potpourri segment looks at the good and the bad regarding smartphones and dating, with some interesting statistics from a Kaspersky Lab study.  

Have you ever lived through the embarrassment of getting messages on your dating app while you're out on a date? A few quick steps are all it takes to eliminate this from happening again.

50 Dates at 50 Website:  https://50datesat50.com/

One of the things many daters need to embrace is the Abundance Mindset, the reality that there are plenty of really great guys and gals to go around. If you're struggling with dating, remember that the number of available men and women is not static. Like real estate, where there is a constant change in the lineup of homes for sale and coming off the market, the number of available dateable people also shifts.  

To better explore how people communicate love to each other, Paul herein reviews the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. The dating question in this episode focuses on a potential retirement community romance.

Good daters need a plan. Here, Paul explains how Boomers and Gen Xers who are dating without a plan are wasting their time and effort. Paul lays out his own plan and explains why it saves time. He takes a closer look at the second part of the 3-1-1 Rule outlined in Episode 1: getting to the phone call as quickly as possible. Finally, he shares the message that gets him ghosted 50% of the time in online dating and discusses why both guys and gals should be using it.

50 Dates at 50 Website:  https://50datesat50.com/

Have you ever noticed how online dating matchups tend to come in waves of feast or famine? Or how when you get on a dating app, it's like being in a candy store of endless choices? One of the best ways to address these problems is with Right Swipe Discipline. It's all about slowing the process down so you can keep up with potential dates. 

Today's recommended movie is Already Tomorrow in Hong Kong. In this podcast episode, Paul discusses why you should watch it and what it teaches about dating and relationships. 

Good daters have a plan. A simple start for anyone is to apply five deal-makers and five deal-breakers. Here, Paul explores the practice of listing these and sticking to them. Defining what you're looking for in a partner is true dating with purpose. Paul presents his own deal-breakers and -makers as an example so you can see how easy this practice is.  

50 Dates at 50 Website:  https://50datesat50.com/

Host Paul Nelson introduces both Baby Boomers and Gen Xers to the 50 Dates at 50 Podcast. He explains how singles get back into dating and how couples can benefit from emphasizing date night.

After a 21-year marriage ending in an amicable divorce in 2014, Paul found himself back out on the dating market. Here, he takes a close look at how much dating has changed over the last 40 years, with online dating now being front and center. However, most of today's dating advice is from the Millennial age group and lacks the benefit of life experience.

To support Boomers and Gen Xers, Paul’s podcast and accompanying website provide a comprehensive set of offerings:

• Chick Flick Movie Reviews – Reviews of movies with dating and relationship messages
• Dating and Relationship Book Reviews – Reviews of books with dating and relationship messages
• Dating Blog – Dating commentary, observations, and remarks on current dating trends
• Dating Glossary – Modern-day dating and relationship terms, updated regularly
• Dating Questions – Answers and advice given to website blog followers
• The "Date-a-Base" Date Night Activity Builder – Options for any guy to take the lead and construct a great date
• 3-1-1 Dating Rule – A detailed explanation of how men and women can quickly get off the dating website or app and in front of the person they are interested in

Pew Research Center -  The Virtues and Downsides of Online Dating

 No More Mr. Nice Guy - By Robert Glover

50 Dates at 50 Website:  https://50datesat50.com/

Preview of the Midlife Dating Podcast.  Supporting Boomer and Gen X singles in online dating and helping couples keep the romance alive.