Midlife Mixtape

“Make room for something new”: Surprise! Creator and host Nancy Davis Kho on why it’s time to “sunset” the show after almost five years, plus Eight Big Life Lessons from the Midlife Mixtape Podcast.

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• Fair Fight

The funniest skit I’ve ever seen. Apply medicinally when you are feeling low.

The post Ep 111 The Final Midlife Mixtape Podcast Episode appeared first on Midlife Mixtape .

“Stretch the rubber band”: Stanford Center for Longevity’s researcher Ken Smith and co-author Karen Breslau, on conclusions from SCL’s new study that seeks to radically redefine how to live better, when we’re living longer.

• The New Map of Life from the Stanford Center on Longevity

This is the OLD map. But a damn good song.

Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here! ***This is a rough transcription of Episode 110 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on November 30, 2021. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email [email protected] ***

Ken Smith 00:00

What is the thing that makes me want to get up in the morning, and how can I actually orient my life more towards that direction as I get older?

Nancy Davis Kho 00:09

Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one.

[THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent]

Nancy 00:33

The presenting sponsor of today’s episode is Kindra.

Kindra is a health and wellness company revolutionizing menopause. It is backed by science and made by women, for women, and Kindra’s products help women navigate the most disruptive signs of the change. You all know the deli menu: hot flashes, restless sleep, dryness, brain fog. You may not want to have what she’s having at this particular deli, but isn’t it nice to know that there are products that can help you manage better?

At their website, OURKINDRA.com, you can figure out exactly which of their products might be in order by taking their 5 minute online quiz. Listeners, both male and female, let me remind you once again that menopause is a natural stage of life for women and it signals the start of what can be the most powerful and impactful times of our lives, as you’ll hear in today’s episode. So shouldn’t we try a little harder to embrace it?

You can head to ourkindra.com. That’s OURKINDRA.COM and use code MIXTAPE20 all caps to get 20% off your first order or subscription. That’s ourkindra.com and MIXTAPE20 to get 20% off!

[MUSIC]

Hi everyone. I’m Nancy Davis Kho, the host and creator of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast, and I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Especially compared to Thanksgiving 2020 where the four of us were all huddled at home already, everyone just came out of the bedroom again for dinner, this year was wonderful. Our older daughter had a friend in for a visit, and our younger daughter had to actually come home from college to spend the holiday with us, which is a beautiful thing. We headed over to my high school friend’s house for a big gathering, the highlight of which to me was when her son asked me in front of the crowd to share a crazy story of his mom from high school. Oh, I had to crack my knuckles! The possibilities… went with the hydroplaning one. Thank you science, thank you vaccines, thank you booster shots and rapid tests. And as always, don’t take any of it for granted. You never know what’s coming next.

So we’re heading into the last month of the year and I know that makes many of us feel contemplative about what’s to come. I recently bought my niece a candle for her 30th birthday that says, “Smells like high hopes and low expectations” which I think is probably the right energy for 2022. That is by the way from Anecdote Candles. This is not an ad for them, but their candles crack me up. They smell great. They are really beautiful. So, high hopes and low expectations.

But in all seriousness, a writer friend of mine here in Oakland, Karen Breslau, mentioned to me during the fall that she was busy working on the final report for a brand new research study from the Stanford Center on Longevity, called The New Map of Life. Here’s the deal: in the United States, as many as half of today’s 5-year-olds can expect to live to the age of 100, and this once unattainable milestone may become the norm for newborns by 2050. Yet, the social institutions, norms and policies that await these future centenarians evolved when lives were only half as long and they need updating. In 2018, The Stanford Center on Longevity launched an initiative called The New Map of Life, believing that one of the most profound transformations of the human experience calls for equally momentous and creative changes in the ways we lead these 100-year lives, at every stage.

I thought that would be a really good backdrop for the kind of planning and thinking you might be doing around your personal goals in 2022. So I invited Karen and Senior Research Scholar at the center, Ken Smith, to join me to talk about this study, which only came out last week! It is poppin’ fresh. Let me tell you a bit about Karen and Ken.

Karen Breslau is the founder of Feature Well Stories, a narrative strategy agency in Oakland, California and a co-author of “The New Map of Life” with the Stanford Center on Longevity. She served as foreign, diplomatic and White House correspondent for Newsweek magazine, and was a producer and reporter for NPR. Karen also worked as a speechwriter and communications strategist, and is co-author with Janet Napolitano of “How Safe are We? Homeland Security Since 9/11.”

Ken Smith joined the Stanford Center on Longevity in 2009 and is the Senior Research Scholar and Director of Academic and Research Support, as well as the Center’s Mobility Division. He brings a broad background of over 20 years of management and engineering experience to his role, including positions in the computing, aerospace, and solar energy industries. Ken developed a special expertise in working closely with university faculty to develop projects while at Intel, where he was deeply involved in the creation and management of their network of university research labs.

So let’s join these cartographers of The New Map of Life and see where they’re leading us.

[MUSIC]

Nancy 05:10

I’m so pleased to be here today with Ken Smith, the senior research scholar at the Stanford Center on Longevity and Karen Breslau, who is the co-author of the Stanford’s new study, The New Map of Life. Welcome to the show, Karen and Ken.

Karen 05:25

Thank you, Nancy.

Ken 05:26

Glad to be here.

Nancy 05:27

I’m glad you’re here as well and you know, obviously, a key question when it comes to discussing The New Map of Life: hey, what was your first concert and what were the circumstances? I think that’s an important point on everybody’s roadmap of life. So Ken, I’m going to put you on the spot first. Tell us about your first concert.

Ken 05:45

Sure. By the way, I love that question. It’s like a social carbon-14 dating process.

Nancy 05:50

Okay, wait. What? I was more of a business major. I don’t know what you just said.

Ken 05:54

Oh, it’s a method that scientists often use to date things like fossils by how much of this carbon 14 remains in the material.

Nancy 05:59

Oh, sure.

Ken 06:00

This is just a social version of that. It tells you a lot about sort of where you came from and when you came from at that time.

Nancy 06:10

Yes, of course! All of a sudden, I dialed back to high school science classes, which is the last time I took one. So yeah, sorry. Yeah, listeners, I don’t know much about science, but let’s hear about Ken’s concert.

Ken 06:20

So my first concert was I saw the Doobie Brothers at Alpine Valley in Wisconsin in 1979.

Nancy 06:26

Nice.

Ken 06:27

I think it was probably a celebration of freedom of driver’s license. I went with a group of high school friends. That was back in the day where you were at the DMV on the day of your birthday.

Nancy 06:36

Right.

Ken 06:37

So the first thing we had to do was go to a concert together without the parents, without getting dropped off, so it was kind of a first freedom.

Nancy 06:45

That is an amazing way to celebrate stepping into that new phase of life. I mean, holy smokes, who didn’t want to be 16 and get their license if that was on the other side of it. Was it a good show?

Ken 06:56

It was a great show. I still remember.

Nancy 06:58

Aright, Karen. What about you?

Karen 07:00

I wish I had something as cool to report...

“From accessory to center stage”: Mark Cushing, founder of the Animal Policy Group and author of “Pet Nation”, on the emotional, physical, and societal benefits of the human-animal bond at midlife and beyond.

• Pet Nation: The Inside Story of How Companion Animals Are Transforming Our Homes, Culture, and Economy

New in November from the Grown Ass Lady Squad:

• Are Women’s Lives Just Someone Else’s Business Model?

Here’s proof that GenX DOES have pets!

Thumbs up.

Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here! ***This is a rough transcription of Episode 109 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on November 16, 2021. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email [email protected] ***

Mark Cushing 00:00

I don’t think there’s a time in your life that the companionship of a pet – by the way, it isn’t limited to dogs or cats – can’t make you feel better.

Nancy Davis Kho 00:11

Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one.

[THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent]

Nancy 00:35

The presenting sponsor of today’s episode is Kindra.

Kindra is a health and wellness company that is revolutionizing menopause, backed by science and made by women, for women. Their products help women navigate the most disruptive signs of the change, like hot flashes, brain fog, restless sleep, dryness, and more. At their website, OURKINDRA.com, you can figure out exactly which of their products might be in order by taking their 5 minute online quiz, or simply clicking one of the following statements: I’m Dry, I’m Hot, I’m Tired, I Can’t Sleep, and everybody’s favorite – It’s Complicated. Oh honey. Isn’t it just.

The change comes for all of us ladies, so isn’t it time we started talking about menopause instead of pretending it’s something that only happens to other people? You can head to ourkindra.com. That’s OURKINDRA.com and use code MIXTAPE20 all caps to get 20% off your first order or subscription. That’s ourkindra.com and MIXTAPE20 to get 20% off!

[MUSIC]

Hi everyone and welcome to Episode 109 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast! I’m Nancy Davis Kho, and I’ve been running the show around here since 2017. That feels like a long time ago. Now one of the things I love about this podcast is that – and I’m paraphrasing Vanilla Ice here obviously – if there’s a topic, yo I’ll solve it, check out my guest while the DJ revolves it.

In other words, I was kind of curious about why every single person I see on the street is at the end of a dog leash, or has a cockatiel sitting on her shoulder, or is carrying a cat carrier. And I also sensed that adopting our rescue dog, Arlo, last summer was a good thing, net positive for my husband and me to do in midlife. So, thanks to having a podcast, I was able to find someone who can answer questions like that, and that’s the conversation I’m bringing to your ears today.

Now, if you are one of the 30% of Americans who don’t have pets – and sorry international listeners, I don’t know what the stats are internationally, but either way this holds for you. Don’t turn this off just because you don’t have a pet. One of the most interesting things I learned in this interview is how even NON-pet owners benefit when the people around them are pet-owners. So I hope you’ll stay tuned, and if you’re one of the many listeners who has sent in pictures of your pets in the past couple of weeks, first of all thank you, because that was a highlight of my day every day.

Second, listen all the way to the end of the interview to hear why I wanted that collection, and I’ll tell you where to find it.

Today’s guest is Mark Cushing, Founder & CEO of the Animal Policy Group, and author of the brand-new book Pet Nation, a book that tells the inside story of how companion animals are transforming our homes, culture, and economy. A long-time political strategist, government regulatory advisor, corporate executive and former litigator, since 2004, Mark has specialized in animal health, animal welfare, veterinary and veterinary educational issues and accreditation, developing a cutting-edge practice across these sectors. Mark currently leads several industry coalitions and initiatives and is a law school faculty member at Lincoln Memorial, Lewis & Clark and University of Oregon law schools.

Ok, sit. I said sit. Sit! Sit! Good girl. Good boy. Alright. Let’s see what Mark has to tell us.

[MUSIC]

Nancy 03:53

Welcome to the Midlife Mixtape Podcast, Mark Cushing. It’s so good to have you here today.

Mark 03:58

What a great topic. And you’re in the Bay Area. It’s fun for me to connect with old haunts there. So thanks for having me on your show.

Nancy 04:05

We’ve already established that we may be interrupted at any time by one of two dogs, or one of two cats on both sides. So I think that is very fitting for the topic we’re covering today. Let’s hope so. Right?

Mark 04:18

They only improve every situation they join, right?

Nancy 04:22

Well, yes, that’s how I feel. Mark, before we get to the good stuff today about your new book, Pet Nation, I want to ask you the most important question, which is: what was your first concert and what were the circumstances? You must get asked this all the time talking about animal policy, right?

Mark 04:39

I want you to know that I actually gave this answer to somebody in June in a different forrm, so it’s fresh in mind.

My first concert was at the Armory in Salem, Oregon, a very boring state capitol town. The band was Eric Burdon and the Animals. I was asked back in June, “What’s my favorite all time song?” It’s “House of the Rising Sun”. People said to me, “Of all the songs in the world, why would that be your favorite song?”

Well, when I was in middle school- we called the junior high back then – I would always check with the band at a concert – not a big name band, but a local band at a concert- to see what was the song right before “House of the Rising Sun.” Because everybody played that song. Why would I do that? Because that was about an eight and a half minute long, slow dance. So it was important to be strategic.

This should maybe scare you away from this interview. But I needed to be strategic about my partner for that song.

So if I knew the one before it, I could kind of say, “Goodbye, nice dancing with you!” and shoot across the room to whoever was foolish enough to say yes, for an eight and a half minute dance with me. So, there you go.

Nancy 05:56

Mark in junior high playing all the angles. I love it. Mark, your first concert was Eric Burdon and the ANIMALS. Have you reflected upon that? Could that have set you upon your path?

Mark 06:09

Of course, I was hoping you’d pick that up.

Nancy 06:12

Yeah. Of course, I did.

Mark 06:14

They weren’t the Stones, Beatles, Cream level, but they were just below it.

Nancy 06:20

Do you have a favorite song about pets or animals? I’ll tell you why I’m asking this. I wrote a book that came out in 2019 called The Thank-You Project and each chapter had a playlist and one of the things I wrote about was – this whole book was about how I wrote gratitude letters to people who had helped shaped and inspired me over the course of this one year. At some point, I started writing letters to not-people, and I talked about writing a thank you note to your dog, to your cat, whatever four-legged or winged or scaled animal companion makes your life better. With the playlist for that chapter, I wanted to include a song about pets and I had a really hard time coming up with one. I ended up using a boygenius song called “Me and My Dog” which is just a beautiful song, but there was not a lot to choose from.

Mark 07:11

As you asked me, the only things that came to mind were the theme song for TV shows or movies that have animals on them. This will date me but the theme song to Old Yeller. “Come back Yeller, best doggone dog in the West.” I’ve liv...

“A spirit of curiosity”: Megan Zesati and Holly Sprague, founders of the DryTogether alcohol-free living community for midlife moms, on the benefits of teaming up to cut back on booze, the media messages that boost our consumption, and living AF(AF.)

• DryTogether.org

Freedom to make the best choices for yourself at midlife, and to worship George Michael.

Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here! ***This is a rough transcription of Episode 108 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on November 2, 2021. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email [email protected] ***

Holly Sprague 00:01

In my life right now, I’ve got so much going on up there that I need some space, and I need some area that is not consumed with how much I drank last night or how much I’m going to drink tonight.

Nancy Davis Kho 00:16

Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one.

00:26

[THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent]

Nancy 00:40

The presenting sponsor of today’s episode of Midlife Mixtape is Kindra. Kindra is a health and wellness company that is revolutionizing menopause. Their products help women navigate the most disruptive signs of the change, like hot flashes, brain fog, restless sleep, dryness, and more. That’s the cafeteria menu you want none of. Kindra is science backed and it’s made for women and by women, and yeah, I’ll go ahead and say I think it’s probably better to get your menopause support products developed by people who have also whipped off a cardigan sweater and shoved their hair into a messy bun in the middle of a meeting, while fanning themselves off with a sheaf of paper.

Kindra makes it easy to get personalized product recommendations and educational content with their online quiz. It just takes 5 minutes. Isn’t it time we started talking about the change and embracing it?

You can head to ourkindra.com – that’s OURKINDRA.COM and use code MIXTAPE20 – all caps – to get 20% off your first order or subscription. That’s ourkindra.com and the code is MIXTAPE20 to get 20% off!

[MUSIC]

Nancy 01:48

Hello to all of you who know exactly who will be there wanting some when you try new soft and juicy Bubble Yum… I’m going to give you a minute… It’s the Flavor Fiend.

Hi, it’s Nancy Davis Kho. I’m the host and creator of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. I have considered doing an episode where I just have you guys all record yourselves singing your favorite 70s or 80s ad jingles, but that would create earworms that might actually be fatal to us at our ages. Who wears short shorts? I’m not even going to give you an answer to that.

Actually, I do have an ask for you, before we get to today’s episode. We’re going to be talking soon about pets and midlife in an upcoming show and I want you to send me pictures of yours – the pandemic puppies, the covid cats, friends from the more exotic aisles in the pet store. I’m going to put together a slideshow of the pets that make the lives of Midlife Mixtape listeners better, and I want to make your furry, or winged, or scaled buddy to be included. Just send the pic to [email protected] before November 11th. That’s it. Send me some cute animals’ pics, please. Make my day.

So, I got pitched by today’s guests a few months back, and I was immediately intrigued. Megan Barnes Zesati and Holly Sprague are the founders DryTogether, which is an alcohol-free community for midlife moms that brings together women ages 35-60 years old from around the country. Through virtual events and a robust member-only online forum, the DryTogether community facilitates a safe space for mothers to connect and explore this stage in life – without alcohol.

I will cop to being one of the 41% of women who increased her drinking during the pandemic. The RAND did a study and it’s cited in a Harvard business review story on the topic and I’m going to include in the show notes if you want to check it out. I’ve always enjoyed my daily beer, and since college, with a few memorable exceptions, I’ve always been able to stop when I’ve had enough. I guess this is true confessions time for you. Hope you’re ready for this. But when the pandemic started, and especially as it dragged on and the grief and losses piled up, I definitely allowed myself to drink more than I normally would. Studies and anecdotal evidence will tell you that drinking more is common response to dealing with stress, and I ain’t special. I’m pretty common.

But recently, my friend Maria and I talked about how women seem to be drinking all the time, way more than our moms and grandmas did. That was even before the pandemic started. The same Harvard article bears out the theory that Maria and I had. Between 2001 and 2013, there was a 16% increase in the proportion of women who drink alcohol, a 58% increase in women’s heavy drinking (versus a rise of 16% in men), and an 84% increase in women’s one-year prevalence of an alcohol use disorder (versus 35% in men). So, basically, women have been drinking more since this was measured in 2001 across the board. I think that’s been influenced a lot by the media we consume that makes drinking seem like the behavioral baseline.

I present to you myself as Exhibit A: have you read the Outlander series? Okay. If you haven’t read this yet or if you haven’t seen the show on Starz: it’s basically Scottish Kilt Porn. There’s Time Travel and there are Highlanders, and at all times one of four things is happening in this book series: someone is bleeding, someone is plotting, someone is making love, and someone is drinking whiskey.

I started reading the series during the pandemic and let me say: I love these books. I will read them forever. I want to read about Jamie and Clare’s generous and steamy nonagenarian sex life someday.  I’ve read10,000 pages of this series since March 2020. They’re literary comfort food to me. But I find when I read them: I want to drink more. BECAUSE EVERYONE IN THIS BOOK IS DRINKING WHISKEY ALL THE TIME. And TONS of whiskey.

I can tell when I’m reading them, I’m like, “I think I’ll have a beer while I read!” so I know I get impacted by what I’m reading, watching, and consuming. Then when you see that level of drinking on TV, and in ads, and in everybody’s memes and on Instagram: Mommy drinks to cope, it’s time for Mommy juice, you’ve earned your drink, you start thinking: maybe 2 drinks a night is normal? Maybe 3 is? I don’t know what normal is anymore.

I don’t know if you guys are into horoscopes – I am thanks to Aunt Noonie. I am an April baby so my sign is Taurus. It’s the sign of the zodiac that can be really sybaritic – very self-indulgent, with a tendency to overdo all the earthly luxuries like good food and good drink and cashmere on sale at Garnet Hill. So believe me, I’m the last person to judge anyone else about how you’ve handled the past year and a half, what your preferences are. I am not judging.

But I found that for myself by summer of this year 2021, I was getting sick of it. I was feeling really bored of relying on the second drink more often than not, and since then I’ve been working really hard to cut back to my regular baseline of a single daily beer with a goal someday even to get below that. It’s not been easy. It’s amazing how quickly that became habitual.

I sometimes wonder if just not drinking altogether would be a better option for me at this stage of life. I think it would be hard because it IS so enmeshed in the culture, and that’s why I invited Holly and Megan on today, and that’s what the conversation is that I have with them. I hope will be of service to you, whoever you are and whatever amount you find yourself about thinking and drinking at midlife.

Let’s put on the teakettle and sit down with Holly and Megan of DryTogether.

Nancy Davis Kho 07:14

Welcome to the Midlife Mixtape Podcast, the cofounders of DryTogether, Holly Sprague and Megan Zesati. We’re so happy to have you here today.

Holly Sprague 07:22

Hi, thank you so much for having us.

Nancy 07:24

Of course, I need to know before we get down to business, and I’m always curious when I have two people on the show whether you know this about each other. Holly, what was your first concert and what were the circumstances? And Megan, you know this question is come in for you next so think it over.

Holly 07:39

My first concert was Cyndi Lauper. Yes, I’m a midlife mother right now. My father took me. He was really into getting me into music. That was like ...

“Who’s Slash?”: Listeners – and Nancy – share stories of their memorable Gen X Halloweens past, from decidedly non-sexy costume strategies, to 7th graders on the cusp, to home bat invasions.

• The Perfect Cocktails for Your Perimenopause Party  by Wendi Aarons, Gloria Fallon, and Marilyn Naron

Happy Halloween, you grown up goths.

Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here! ***This is a rough transcription of Episode 107 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on October 19, 2021. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email [email protected] ***

Wendi Aarons 00:00

We learned our lesson that is probably not a great idea to dress like a ‘60s burnout named Touch Me Don’t Touch Me when we’re trying to get some action at a fraternity party.

00:11

Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one.

[THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent]

The Presenting Sponsor of Midlife Mixtape is Kindra.

Kindra is revolutionizing menopause. They are a health and wellness company helping women navigate the most disruptive signs of the change including hot flashes, brain fog, restless sleep, dryness, and more. It’s science backed and made by women, for women.

And as I’ve said on this show before, it’s probably going to be up to GenX to normalize open discussion of this entirely normal phase of life. Like at this conference I just attended, when I leaned over in front of a group of four women I’d never met before, all younger than me, and pulled out the Take 5 bars out of the stash of fun-sized candy that organizers had dumped in the center of the table. And I said to them, “Back when I still had eggs this was the perfect candy for that monthly salty/sweet craving, but now I can eat them whenever I want!” I’m just normalizing it, ladies.

You can find your personalized product recommendations and educational content with a quiz that just takes 5 minutes. Isn’t it time we started talking about the change and embraced it? You can head to ourkindra.com and use code MIXTAPE20 (ALL CAPS) to get 20% off your first order or subscription.  That’s ourkindra.com and the code is MIXTAPE20, to get 20% off your first order or subscription from Kindra.

I also wanted to make sure you guys are aware of a really cool new little chat book, a little tiny pamphlet-sized fiction collection called Portrait of a Deputy Public Defender (or how I became a punk rock lawyer) . It’s by Juanita E. Mantz Esquire – that’s M-A-N-T-Z – and it’s a multi genre chat book containing memoir pieces, social justice, essays and poetry. It describes the author’s love of punk rock and Juanita’s quest to challenge the system of mass incarceration as a deputy public defender. She talks a lot about the intersection between punk rock and public defense. It’s an insider’s view of a system that is badly broken, but it’s done with love and compassion and a belief that we can do better, we can imagine a better way out of incarceration, especially for people who are mentally ill.

The books out now from Bamboo Dart Press –  you can find it at www.BambooDartPress.com – look for Portrait of a Deputy Public Defender (or how I became a punk rock lawyer) .

[MUSIC]

Nancy 02.58

Hi there and welcome to this special Halloween Edition of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho, your host, the creator of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast and the author of the book, The Thank-You Project: Cultivating Happiness One Letter of Gratitude at a Time. Midlife Halloween has its own kind of terror because what is scarier than waking up and seeing your own parents looking back at you from the mirror? It’s absolutely terrifying.

So I put out a call on social media and the blog for your GenX Halloween stories. My theory was that GenX never took itself too seriously and would have some fun with the prompt – as exemplified by the story Erin sent in:

She wrote,

My most unsexy costume was when I dressed as a porta-potty for my department’s Halloween group theme. We were a bunch of Austin City Limits Music Festival survivors. This contest was during the early 00s, so the fest wasn’t quite the well-oiled machine it is today. The costume consisted of many large boxes and a halved broom handle stuck in the middle that I could hold onto to carry that sucker while inside. There was also tons of blue paint and two eyeholes. My porta-potty addition didn’t secure the gold. We came in second place to the Beetlejuice folks. But heck, they deserved it.

As someone whose favorite all time Halloween costume was the mailbox my dad built me out of cardboard when I was in 5th grade, I totally respect the Porta Potty game Erin is playing here. By the way, the mailbox design was perfect for late October in Upstate NY because you could put your park on underneath it, and it included a curved top that repelled water in case it jumped above 32 degrees on Halloween night. Which wasn’t often.

Because – you guys know this – back then most of us weren’t so worried about being Sexy Nurse or Sexy Ladybug or Sexy PortaPotty. Here’s Susan Rietano Davey, the career reentry expert and one of the co-founders of Prepare to Launch U who I interviewed back in Episode 47:

Susan Rietano Davey 03:10

Hi Nancy – It’s Susan here in Connecticut, and I’m calling in with my Halloween story. When I was a freshman in high school about 40 years ago, I was desperate to become cool. And my dear friend Karen was much closer to that than I. So through her, we got an invitation to Ellen’s the Halloween party.

Now Ellen was a junior, and the coolest of cool, the top of the heap. And we were so excited to knock her socks off with great Halloween costumes. So we rummaged through Karen’s father’s closet – he was an Army veteran – and we found two perfectly intact army uniforms. So that’s what we dressed up as. And we pulled our hair back severely and we greased it down so it stay under the hats and we even painted bushy mustaches and bushy eyebrows on each other.

We showed up on Halloween night at Ellen’s house and we rang the doorbell. She answered it dressed as Scarlett O’Hara. And as we entered her foyer, we saw that all of Ellen’s cool, beautiful friends were dressed as Cinderella, or Snow White, or Charlie’s Angels, and there we were, as two infantry men.

Suffice it to say we did not advance our coolness that night. We were never invited back to Ellen’s future parties, but we cemented our friendship that night for sure. And it has lasted all these years later.

Nancy 04:30

Was there something in the water for people who would eventually grow up to become Midlife Mixtape listeners? Humor writer Wendi Aarons definitely got the non-sexy memo.

Wendi Aarons 04:38

Hi, this is Wendi Aarons and my favorite Halloween memory is from freshman year of college at University of Oregon.

My best friend Megan and I were looking for a costume to go to one of the fraternity parties. Those are the big bashes and we were so excited, because it was our first time being at what we thought was a real adult party. We talked and talked about what costume we should wear and finally landed on something that was very genius:  dressing up like one of the guys who got to Eugene, Oregon, sometime in the ‘70s by following the Grateful Dead, and never left. He just sat on a bench on campus and yelled  “Touch Me Don’t Touch Me.” So we thought it’d be a great idea to dress up like Touch Me Don’t Touch Me.

We went to Goodwill and just bought a whole bunch of random giant shirts and pants. And we dressed in those and then we dressed in everything that our dorm mates would give us. And basically we looked like that episode of Friends where Joey puts on all of Chandler’s clothes and walks around. We were like sumo wrestlers or something.

So we get to the fraternity party and quickly realized that we didn’t get the memo that everybody else did. All the other girls were Sexy Something – not to the extent they are now, where you have, like, a Sexy Tooth Cavity. But everybody was Sexy Kitten or Sexy Genie Dancer or Sexy what have you. And here we roll in, dressed in approximately 500 layers of clothing and sweating our little butts off. And then we actually stood there and were surprised that not even any of the horny fraternity guys would come up and talk to us; we were that repellent.

So the next year we took off a few more layers. We never quite got down to the sexy costume level. Bu...

“Something besides yourself to love”: Austin music legend Bob Schneider on his latest album, “In a Roomful of Blood With a Sleeping Tiger”, non-autobiographical songs written with autobiographical emotion, and why he shouldn’t rule the world.

• BobSchneider.com

Since we talked about his ’99 song “2002” so much in our convo…here  it is:

Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here!

***This is a rough transcription of Episode 106 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on October 5, 2021. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email [email protected] ***

Bob Schneider 00:01

I want to be Will Rogers at some point in my life, where there’s nobody on earth that’s not a friend of mine.

Nancy Davis Kho 00:08

Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one.

[THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent]

00:32

Hey there and welcome to Episode 106 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast, where we have so much going on today. I’m Nancy Davis Kho, and I’m the host and creator of the podcast, and there are two things I want to tell you quickly and then I promise we are getting right into the interview.

First! We have another Listeners’ Stories episode coming up next time and I need your stories! You know how this works. I give you a topic, you guys write in, record yourselves, drop me a comment, and whatever prompt I give you, and this time it is: GenX Halloween. I KNOW you have something to say: your ‘70s, ‘80s, and ’90s Halloween memories. The kind of stories that our Gen Z kids and our Boomer older siblings just couldn’t relate to. Maybe it was the smell of those plastic masks that your parents bought you at the drugstore. Remember those in the cellophane boxes? Maybe it was the lady around the corner that everybody knew put razor blades in apples. Why would she spend time doing that? She was watching General Hospital. She wasn’t trying to hurt anybody. Maybe you went dressed as a mailbox, because back then being clever or weird was better than being sexy. There were no sexy mail boxes. That was maybe just me. I don’t know.

Whatever the prompt GenX Halloween brings to mind, we all want to hear it! So you know the drill. You can leave me a voice mail right from your computer! You just go to https://www.speakpipe.com/MidlifeMixtape and you can start recording there with one click. I LOVE when people do this, because then I can incorporate the actual voice of our listeners in the episode. There’s a 90 second limit on these recordings, and you can re-record it as many times as you want. If you’ve got a longer story, just record that into your phone as a voice memo and email it to me. The email is [email protected] and again, I love hearing these stories in your actual voice.

You can send me an email with your story typed out to [email protected] and I’ll share it in the episode, or you can always send me a Facebook message, a tweet or an Instagram comment. I’m @midlifemixtape

So, I need those by October 12th, please, and I’ve already gotten some great ones in, including one that actually took place recently, but it was such a perfect Get Off My Lawn, Gen Z moment that it fits right into the theme. So, Gen X Halloween: what have you got?

Second thing I wanted to just say briefly is that this is the time of the year when lots of people start thinking about gratitude, in the run up to Thanksgiving, and I’ve been doing a bunch of virtual and live events about my book, The Thank-You Project. But I still have room for a few more, and I love doing this. Do you have an organization, a club, a class, maybe your work colleagues, just a group that could benefit by knowing more about the power of gratitude letters? Hit me up at [email protected] and we’ll get the ball rolling.

I just did one with an organization called The Choose Love Movement. This is a group founded by the mom of one of the Sandy Hook victims, and it was such an honor to connect with Choose Love and its monthly book club. I love doing it. So, if you have a group and you want to talk about gratitude and thank you letters, I’m your man. Your woman.

So, here’s the deal. About 10 years ago I joined a gang. It was a gang of lady humor writers and our main weaponry is the cutting remark, but a bunch of them are based in Austin and told me back then, “You have GOT to check out this musician, Bob Schneider. He’s an amazing performer based in Austin.” So, I did and I’ve been a fan of Bob ever since. Is his music funk, R&B, Latin, Americana? Yes! That and more. It’s everything, and it’s all done with such a great sense of humor, and I’ve had the chance to see Bob play live a whole slew of times in the Bay Area over the past decade.

But of course, with the pandemic, concert going ground to a halt. Luckily, I am connected to this concert promoter in San Francisco named KC Turner. You can find KC at KCTurnerPresents.com and at KC Turner Presents on social. And you should, because he is always bringing great acts to the Bay Area. Anyway, I got an email from KC earlier this year saying that he was doing a backyard concert series with different artists and these were really small, like 30 people, everybody had to be fully vaccinated. And one day the email came that one of the artists he was bringing to town was Bob Schneider.

I JUMPED at the chance to hear Bob in such an intimate setting, and so did my friends, and long story short: Bob Schneider played a backyard show for a bunch of us here in Oakland at the end of July, and if you go over to my Instagram @midlifemixtape, you can see some of the pics from that day. It was magical, and I finally met Bob in person for the first time, and I’m so glad he agreed to come visit us on the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. Let me tell you a little about him.

Bob is as mentioned based in Austin, Texas. He is a singer-songwriter and former front man of The Ugly Americans and The Scabs. He has become one of the most celebrated musicians in the live music capital. Drawing from a range of diverse musicals styles, Schneider’s talent has defied genres. Combining elements of funk, country, rock, and folk with the more traditional singer/songwriter aesthetic, Schneider draws inspiration from the ’70s but with a modern twist.

He has won more than 59 Austin Music Awards including Best Album, Best Songwriter, Best Musician, and Best Male Vocals making him the most decorated artist in Austin music history. If you have ever been to Austin, you know what kind of a music city that is. So, that’s quite an accomplishment.

But Schneider’s fan base reaches far beyond the city limits of Austin. He started gaining national recognition when he released 2001’s Lonelyland, his major-label debut for Universal Records, and since then he’s released more than a dozen albums, written over 1,000 songs, he is a published author, he is an avid painter and collage artist, and he’s not planning on slowing down anytime soon.

Bob’s newest record is called In A Roomful Of Blood with A Sleeping Tiger. It came out in August 2021, and we’re going to hear some tracks from it today. I love it!

So, let’s go with the flow with Bob Schneider.

[MUSIC]

Welcome to the Midlife Mixtape Podcast, Bob Schneider. I’m so happy to have you here today.

Bob 06:22

You sound so professional.

Nancy 06:24

Thank you. I think it’s the sound of the dog licking himself in the background that really sells it because he waits until he knows I’ve hit record and then he’s like, “You know what I need to do? Clean up house.”

Bob 06:35

Wow. That’s a good visual that I’ve got now.

Nancy 06:38

Yeah, well, that’s Arlo. Welcome to the show. It’s me and Arlo Kho.

Bob, I’ve got a question for you. What was your first concert, and what were the circumstances?

Bob 06:49

Well, the f...

“Stop, Look, Go”: Kristi Nelson, author of “Wake Up Grateful,” on transforming her Stage IV cancer survival into a lifetime practice of more grateful living, midlife carpe diem, and an unusual way to embrace that middle-of-the-night restiveness.

• About Kristi

Live from Budokan, it’s…

Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here! ***This is a rough transcription of Episode 105 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on September 21, 2021. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email [email protected] ***

Kristi Nelson 00:01

At this stage in life, so many of us have had wake-up calls. So many of the difficult experiences of life actually make it more possible to connect with feeling grateful.

Nancy Davis Kho 00:14

Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one.

[THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent]

Nancy 00:38

I just want to make sure that you have all checked out the great new September content from fellow members of the G.A.L.S squad. That’s –  plug your ears little one – G.A.L.S, as in Grown Ass Ladies. Over on tuenight.com, there’s a great essay by my pal, Wendi Aarons, about the joys of going to a movie theater solo. I would actually just love to go to a movie theater. I haven’t done that in a year and a half. Going solo, that would be the icing on top. Jumbleandflow.com has a piece on finding your flow with tarot card readings. Damemagazine.com asks, “Do we have the space to grieve anymore?” That is a dang good question. That’s damemagazine.com. And heyperry.com, that’s H-E-Y-P-E-R-R-Y.C-O-M has the ever popular topic “Perimenopause periods: WTF is happening?” Make sure to check out all these sites designed for people in the years between being hip and breaking one. The G.A.L.S. always have great new stuff coming out.

[MUSIC]

Welcome to Episode 105 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast! I’m Nancy Davis Kho, host and creatress of the show, and I’m really glad you’re tuning in today. September 21st happens to be World Gratitude Day, a topic I know a little bit about…but I thought that for a refreshing change of pace, instead of talking to you about Gratitude Letters and the book I wrote, The Thank-You Project, I’d bring in a guest who could share a different perspective on incorporating more gratefulness and grateful living into our lives.

That seemed especially important in a week where two different friends have said to me, “You know what? Relatively speaking, I don’t have anything to feel down about.” And they are kind of kicking themselves for feeling low and I was like, “You are now the human embodiment of that cartoon dog in the fedora sitting with his coffee as the flames rise up around him.” NO ONE IS OK. EVERYBODY HAS SOMETHING TO FEEL DOWN ABOUT AFTER 18 MONTHS OF THIS PANDEMIC – and I recently read that 1 in 3 Americans has been affected by a weather disaster made worse by climate change. It’s ok, and it’s normal, to not be ok.

Speaking of the climate change thing, have you checked out sciencemoms.com yet? Go back to Episode 102 for all the details on that.

Anyway, goes for me, too. Ever since my mom’s memorial service in August, I have to say I have been feeling a lot more subdued and frankly, a little hopeless, moreso than at any other time during the past 18 months. So today’s guest, and her reminder of how these wake-up calls in our lives can enrich them if we look at them from the right perspective, seems especially timely.

Kristi Nelson is the Executive Director of A Network for Grateful Living, and the author of Wake Up Grateful: The Transformative Practice of Taking Nothing for Granted. Imagine that?! Kristi’s life’s work in the non-profit sector has focused on leading, inspiring, and strengthening organizations committed to progressive social and spiritual change. Being a long-time stage IV cancer survivor moves her every day to support others in living and loving with great fullness of heart.

In 2001 – after five years leading a regional Women’s Fund – Kristi founded a values-based fundraising consulting and coaching company, and in this capacity, she has worked with organizations like Buddhist Peace Fellowship, Institute for Jewish Spirituality, Wisdom 2.0, and The Center for Contemplative Mind in Society, among others. She has also been founding Director of Soul of Money Institute with Lynne Twist, Director of Development at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health, and Director of Development and Community Relations for the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society.

So take a deep calming breath, and join me as I talk with gratefulness guru, Kristi Nelson.

[MUSIC]

Nancy 04:16

I want to welcome to the Midlife Mixtape Podcast, Kristi Nelson. Thanks so much for being on the show today.

Kristi 04:22

I’m thrilled to be here. Thanks so much for having me.

Nancy 04:25

Well, it’s a special day today because the day this episode drops is World Gratitude Day. So I wanted to have somebody on who could provide a different lens into the topic of gratefulness and gratitude, and I’m excited to talk about your book, Wake Up Grateful. But first, Kristi, obviously, we have to ask you this question, which is what was your first concert and what were the circumstances?

Kristi 04:47

This has caused me to do research and verification.

Nancy 04:51

Oh. I love giving a guest homework. That’s fabulous.

Kristi 04:54

Actually, it was so great. I believe … because you know now that I’m in my 60s, it’s actually long term memory issues. So I believe that it was Cheap Trick.

Nancy 05:07

Really?

Kristi 05:08

It was 1976 and I couldn’t find their tour dates to confirm, but it was somewhere I think either Springfield Massachusetts or somewhere in the close environs and this is just the funniest thing. Their song that I loved and used to sing at the top of my possible voice spectrum, I’d sing, “I want you to want me, I need you to need me. I’d love you to love me.”

Nancy 05:32

Sure.

Kristi 05:33

That’s like their big song.

Nancy 05:35

And you were what? Nine years old, singing that? No, I’m kidding.

Kristi 05:38

No. Yeah, that’s funny. I was 16, and it was probably one of those things that it was a celebration of my 16th birthday and passing to some kind of new level of trustworthiness that I could go off and I’m sure I wasn’t worthy of it at all.

Nancy 05:53

In the 70s, the bar for trustworthiness in kids was awfully low compared to where it is now. We hear these stories over and over on this show of people doing stuff that they would never let their kids do now.

Kristi 06:05

Yeah, so true.

Nancy 06:06

So I love that concert for you. I’m trying to remember ...

“My brain is waking up”: Taya Dunn Johnson on going back to school alongside her 7th grader this fall, and the personal passion that pulled her to a field of study she had never even heard of before the day she enrolled.

Find Taya on:

• Website – www.TayaDunnJohnson.com

Some Baltimore sound for ya ears. The title of the song is also 100% of the lyrics of the song

“Dating is a skill”: Jodi Klein, author and podcast host of “First Date Stories”, on the benefits and challenges of being a “seasoned” dater, her Ninja midlife dating tips, and Midlife Mixtape listeners’ own memorable First Date Stories.

Find Jodi on:

• Facebook https://www.facebook.com/1stdates/

The only Goo Goo Dolls song I knew of theirs, back in 1990 when I asked this cute guy on a first date with the free tickets I’d won. Thanks for being so loud that the guy suggested we leave and go get a coffee and talk, Goos! I still respect this video hard for all the nods to our mutual hometowns in Western New York, FWIW

***This is a rough transcription of Episode 103 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on August 24, 2021. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email [email protected] ***Jodi Klein 00:01

Think about who you were in your twenties, versus who you are in your forties or fifties. You are a different person, and you know so much better who you are, what’s important to you, and you show up without being as concerned about the unimportant things.

Nancy Davis Kho 00:17

Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one.

[THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent]

Nancy 00:42

This episode of The Midlife Mixtape Podcast is brought to you by Audible.

Get a free audiobook download and 30 day free trial at www.AudibleTrial.com/midlifemixtape. Over 180,000 titles to choose from for your iPhone, Android, Kindle or mp3 player. And you know what? One of those 180,000 titles is my book, THE THANK-YOU PROJECT: Cultivating Happiness One Letter of Gratitude at a Time. It’s about a year I spent writing thank you letters to people who had helped, shaped, or inspired me from my AP English teacher from high school who I hadn’t seen in 30 years to my husband who I had seen five minutes before I started writing the letter. It gives readers a blueprint for doing it themselves, and explains the science about why gratitude and happiness work so well together. I hope readers will find it to be a tool that helps them emerge from this difficult period a little bit more gracefully. So go to www.AudibleTrial.com/midlifemixtape for your free audiobook.

[MUSIC]

Hey everyone, and welcome back to the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho, the creator and host of the show, and I’ve missed you over the past month while I was out on vacation. But don’t you feel like absence probably made our hearts grow fonder for one another? I think it did. That topic of mutual affection is actually a specialty for today’s guest. Do you see what I did there? Did I segue like a boss? Yes, I’ve still got it!

My guest today is Jodie Klein, the author of First Date Stories: Women’s Romantic and Ridiculous Midlife Adventures, which comes out on September 14th 2021.

A demanding career and desire to find the right “Mr. Yes” for her led to Jodi becoming an alumna of nearly 400 dates over the course of 26 years. She founded “First Date Stories” both the podcast and the blog, as a platform for GenX women to share their tales and wisdom so that others can overcome the trials of dating in midlife and find the long-term love they seek.

Jodi is a graduate of UC Davis and holds an MBA from the Ross School of Business at the University of Michigan, and she lives with her husband in San Francisco. Yes, spoiler alert. She found her husband. She found “Mr. Yes.”

Now, after I’d spoken with Jodi –  I was so intrigued by the book, I really enjoyed reading First Date Stories, I loved talking with her about it. And then I thought, you know who I bet has some good first date stories? The people who listen to this podcast. So I sent out a call on Facebook and said, “Real quick, everybody. Send me a great first date story.” And as usual, you delivered. So stay tuned all the way to the end of the episode because I’m going to share some of your stories about memorable, magical and some pretty bad first dates.

But for now, fix your hair. Check your teeth for broccoli. We’re sitting down with Jodi Klein to discuss First Date Stories.

[MUSIC]

Nancy 03:30

Welcome to the Midlife Mixtape Podcast, Jodi Klein. Thank you for coming today. Glad to have you on the show.

Jodi Klein 03:36

It is terrific to be here. I’m such a fan.

Nancy 03:39

Well, that’s nice of you to say. I have to tell you, I have been so intrigued by the book, First Date Stories, we’re going to talk a lot about it. But the first question for you, Jodi Klein is, what was your first concert and what were the circumstances?

Jodi 03:52

My first concert is one that I will never forget. It was Styx — Paradise Theater tour at the Oakland Coliseum in Oakland, California.

Nancy 04:03

Oh my God! Tell me all about it.

Jodi 04:06

It was the last show on their world tour. I went with two girlfriends. We were dropped off. We waited in line for six hours and as the line grew, so did our anticipation. We rushed in to the Coliseum. We grabbed our seats, we got pretty good seats.

But, we did not spend much time in those seats because the show was so amazing that we ended up heading down to the floor and the light show, the singing, the whole thing, it just blew my mind.

Nancy 04:43

How old were you?

Jodi 04:44

I had just finished my freshman year of high school.

Nancy 04:48

See, I think 14 is the formative year. That’s the age everybody should get to see their first show because it really means something.

Jodi 04:55

It did. I feel so fortunate to have had that as my first show. I really couldn’t have asked for a better debut concert experience.

Nancy 05:04

I’m going to ask you a question about Gen X and music. You’re a dating specialist, so I will ask you this. Did we not perfect the mixtape as a dating artifact that in fact caused people to fall in love?

Jodi 05:20

We did.

Nancy 05:23

I mean, if you’re listening: raise your hand if you either formulated or received a mixtape that was designed to make love happen.

Jodi 05:32

For sure. In fact, I seem to remember a movie or two where the mixtape was essential in the storyline to woo the woman, and I think many of us had those tapes given to us. Some of us, like me, may have it still in a box somewhere.

Nancy 05:50

Totally. Actually – I don’t know why I just remembered this out of the blue. But when I was in high school, there was this boy that I liked, and he was going on a road trip because his grandma had passed away. He was going to his grandma’s funeral and I didn’t know him very well, but I thought he was a nice guy, and I made him a mixtape.

And he came back and he immediately broke up with me. He was like, “There’s no future here because I like you too much. The mixtape was so good that it scared me, and I’m not ready for that kind of commitment,” which began a whole run of boys who would break up with me saying, “I love you too much to date you any longer.” That was Nancy from ages 15 to 19. But I couldn’t help it. I make a good mixtape. If it scares you, that’s on you, buddy.

Jodi 06:34

Exactly. If they couldn’t take it, you needed to move on.

Nancy 06:38

Have you had a mixtape figure into any of the first date stories? A first date mixtape, that’s a lot. That’s too much pressure.

Jodi 06:46

It’s way too much pressure.

Nancy 06:47

Yeah, I would be like, “Sir, you don’t know me well enough to create a mixtape for me. Back off.”

Jodi 06:51

Yeah, I have not heard any of those stories. No.

Nancy 06:55

Will you call if you do?

Jodi 06:57

I certainly will.

Nancy 07:00

Alright. Well, Jodi, we’re going to talk about your book, First Date Stories. But I want to start with a little background because there is also a podcast and a blog that are related, and it’s kind of a chicken and egg thing and I hope that you could explain to everybody who’s listening how these all interrelate and came to be.

Jodi 07:16

To do that, I’d like to set the context. And that is that I created all of this – because there are millions of uncoupled women who are Gen Xers, whether they’ve never been married, or in a long term committed relationship or are divorced or widowed – these ladies do not get enough recognition or connection. They’re not celebrated enough. They’re not supported enough, not what they deserve, and I’m trying to fill some of that void.

Nancy 07:49

First of all, women are overlooked, Gen Xers are overlooked, so Gen X women: it’s like the perfect, terrible storm. We started talking about that when

“Start the conversation”: Oceanographer Dr. Claudia Benitez-Nelson talks about the ScienceMoms.com initiative seeking to apply “Mom Power” in tackling climate change, how midlife made her a better scientist, and why she’s hopeful for the future.

• ScienceMoms.com website

Dr. Benitez-Nelson interviewed aboard the research vessel Sally Ride

What other song could I choose, given my late mom’s affinity for all things John Denver?Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here!

***This is a rough transcription of Episode 102 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on July 20, 2021. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email [email protected] ***

Dr. Claudia Benitez-Nelson 00:00

You have to believe and have faith in your children, the next generation, that they are going to help move the needle and solve these issues. And our job as parents is to make it happen.

Nancy Davis Kho 00:18

Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one.

[THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent]

Nancy 00:43

Okay, I have another summer book recommendation for you! Check out The People We Keep, by Allie Larkin, which comes out from Simon and Schuster on August 3rd. Allie is the bestselling author of Swimming for Sunlight, and she’s back with a heartbreaking and soul-stirring coming-of-age tale about a young songwriter looking to find a home in the world.

Little River, New York, 1994: April Sawicki is living in a run-down motorhome, flunking out of school, and picking up shifts at the local diner. But when April realizes she’s finally had enough, enough of her selfish, absent father and barely surviving in an unfeeling town, she decides to make a break for it. Stealing a car and with only her music to keep her company, April hits the road, determined to live life on her own terms. She manages to scrape together a meaningful existence on the road, encountering people and places that grab hold of her heart. From lifelong friendships to tragic heartbreaks, April chronicles her journey in the beautiful music she creates as she discovers that home is with the people you choose to keep.

Fun fact: I know Allie because we are on the same house concert circuit, we’ve bonded over many a living room show, and I know how hard she worked on this book and how long and how much she believed in this story, and it’s just a thrill to see a talented friend like Allie Larkin get chosen by none other than actress Rachel Bilson to be featured as her August Book of the Month Club pick.

So preorder The People We Keep by Allie Larkin at your favorite indie bookstore or online now!

[MUSIC]

Hey party people, hope you’re having a fabulous summer and working on your San Tropez tan. Who remembers that jingle? Bain de Soleil. Well, not really, I think you should be wearing sunscreen and a big hat, but I think that’s been well established between us in many episodes and probably again in today’s.

I’m Nancy Davis Kho and I’m the creator and host of this podcast, as well as the author of The Thank-You Project: Cultivating Happiness One Letter of Gratitude at a Time. I hope you’ve had a chance to read my book and if you haven’t, well, there’s probably room in your beach bag.

I’m so grateful that you’ve tuned in to today’s episode, and we’re going to get right to it! I love every guest who comes on this program, it’s true, but the ones I put into the “Shero/Hero” mix I might love most of all. These are people putting their midlife acumen to work in service of the wider world, and today’s guest is a shining example.

Dr. Claudia Benitez-Nelson is an Associate Dean and Carolina Distinguished Professor in the College of Arts & Sciences at the University of South Carolina. Her research focuses on understanding the biogeochemical cycling of nutrients and carbon and how they are influenced by climate change. Her many research honors include the Early Career Award in Oceanography from the American Geophysical Union (AGU) and being named a Fellow of the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) and the Association for the Sciences of Limnology, which I didn’t know was a word, and Oceanography. Claudia is passionate about teaching and mentoring the next generation and is active in many efforts to increase diversity in science.

She’s also a member of Science Moms, a nonpartisan group of climate scientists and mothers.

They founded Science Moms – you can find it at sciencemoms.com – to help mothers who are concerned about their children’s planet, but aren’t confident in their knowledge about climate change or how they can help. Together, the Science Moms aim to demystify climate science and motivate urgent action to protect our children’s futures.

Put on your life jacket and grab a Dramanine if you are prone to seasickness, like I am… we’re setting sail with oceanographer and Science Mom, Dr. Claudia Benitez-Nelson!

[MUSIC]

Welcome to the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. I am so pleased to have you here today.

Dr. Benitez-Nelson 04:27

Thank you so much for having me. I’m so excited to be here.

Nancy 04:31

I’ve known about Science Moms for a couple of months and as soon as I saw that press release, I’m like, oh, yeah, we’re having one of the Science Moms onto the show. But nobody gets past the first question on this podcast, which is what was your first concert and what were the circumstances?

Dr. Benitez-Nelson 04:47

Oh my gosh. Okay.

Nancy 04:50

I feel like you’re about to blow my mind.

Dr. Benitez-Nelson 04:53

Well, yes. The very first concert that I went to, and maybe I’m dating myself is the Grateful Dead, and I went with my parents.

Nancy 05:03

Now, they were enlightened.

Dr. Benitez-Nelson 05:04

They were very enlightened and I grew up in Seattle, so you can perhaps understand I went to many concerts when I was growing up in the 80s and 90s. But no, it was the Grateful Dead.

Nancy 05:18

So where was it in Seattle?

Dr. Benitez-Nelson 05:20

Well, I was young and so I remember it being this huge space. I think it was the King Dome, which doesn’t exist in the same form now. There were all these people, and they were having such a wonderful time, and everyone was happy. That’s what I really remember most about it.

Nancy 05:38

Now, I noticed in your official bio, you mentioned that you have two kids who are 20 and 16. Is that right?

Dr. Benitez-Nelson 05:44

Yeah.

Nancy 05:45

You mentioned in your bio that your kids have a musical talent.

Dr. Benitez-Nelson 05:48

They’re actually musicians in that they play classical instruments, which I have no talent for whatsoever. I can’t hold a tune. I mean, they are my kids but other than that…

Nancy 06:02

I think that’s one of the coolest things about watching your kids grow up and find the thing that they love that you have no idea about. Because that’s how we are with ballet – both our daughters became ballerinas, and we learned so much about ballet. We had no idea about that before we had kids, and I would never have thought that that would be something I knew about. But here we are.

Dr. Benitez-Nelson 06:21

Well, exactly. Right. My son plays the oboe and I had to look up what an oboe really was. I was like, “What really is that instrument?” My daughter plays the flute, which, I DID know what a flute was.

Nancy 06:37

You’re familiar.

Alright, so I’m going to call you Dr. Benitez-Nelson because I know you’ve said I can call you Claudia, but I want to put the respect on your name that you have earned. Because it’s been a long path to get where you are. So I want to talk about what compelled you and eight of your fellow mom scientists to start ScienceMoms.com. It started in 2021, right?

Dr. Benitez-Nelson 06:59

Actually, it started a couple of years earlier. I’m actually the newest member to the group.

This was a group that was started a couple of years ago by Potential Energy, and it was a $10 million ad campaign. Essentially, what they have done is they’ve brought together a bunch of scientists who are mothers to really talk about climate, how our climate is changing. And really the group that we are targeting is other moms. I thought this was fantastic, right? I’m new to the group, I had met these other amazing scientists, and when they were telling me what they were doing, I was like, “I got to get in on this.”

So it makes sense, in some ways – research has shown that moms are the group that is both the most concerned about climate change, and the most likely to do something about it. In retrospect, that makes sense. But I didn’t really know that when we started. I just know that I’m really pa...