Midlife Repurposed

Do you find yourself apologizing for things that are out of your control? Do you see yourself as less-than? Develop and awareness of how often you apologize, break the lies that keep you from seeing your God-given value, and learn how you can take steps to live in the light of truth.

 

Show notes and resources

 

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit michellerayburn.substack.com

In this issue:

Explore why we procrastinate and learn seven tips for breaking the habits that lead to unproductive behaviors. You’ll be encouraged to think about how putting something off might take longer than actually doing it, and get links to more than three resources to get you started with new habits.

 

 

Podcast

Inspired Life: Why We Procrastinate and What to Do About It

I finished my taxes on Saturday. I hate doing them, so I put it off as long as I could. I tend to procrastinate big projects and things I hate.

What is procrastination? James Clear defines it this way:

Procrastination is the act of delaying or postponing a task or set of tasks…it is the force that prevents you from following through on what you set out to do.

Procrastination is really an art when you think about it. There is a fine line between crashing and burning in glorious failure and getting something done just at the right time.

Right from the start, there are going to be some of you who say you do your best work under pressure. I used to think that too. But if you really come down to it, you and I both know that your best work is not when you’re under pressure. You get it done because you have to, but if you had to be brutally honest, you would have to admit that your quality could be better.

Having some time to plan ahead leaves room for creative solutions that are even better than the first thoughts. When you procrastinate, you always get your first thoughts. Yes, there are exceptions to this, but I think most people find true creativity to be a process. I have no science to prove that other than my observations of the work people do when under duress.

Why We Procrastinate

Let’s look at some of the reasons why we procrastinate:

* You’re overwhelmed and don’t know where to begin, so you avoid it altogether.

* You have too many other things going on and truly don’t have time.

* Perfectionism paralyzes.

* You’ve bought the lie that we work well under pressure.

* You’re waiting for the right mood to strike.

* You’re percolating. You’d rather think about it for a while and brew some ideas.

* You’re putting out fires all day because of what seems urgent, but you can’t get to what is important.

Why does this matter? If you don’t know why you do something you can’t figure out how to fix it.

Know the why to discover the how.

Those who never figure out how to set goals and achieve them will forever watch others pass them by. They start to think life is for everyone else. They wonder when it’s going to be their turn, but they don’t realize it already came and they were dawdling in the powder room checking their hair. Just kidding. But not kidding.

Life didn’t pass you by. It’s sitting there on your turn and it's waiting for you to make a move. You make a move and stuff will happen.

Let’s talk a little bit about guilt. I am sharing this info today because I have been in the procrastinator’s shoes, not because I want to shame anyone or make you feel guilty. Move past the guilt and forget trying to fix the past.

Procrastination Solutions

I am going to debunk every one of those reasons to show you that it’s part of a game we play in our minds.

* You’re overwhelmed and don’t know where to begin, so you avoid it altogether.

Even if you can’t do the whole project, survey it and break it into smaller tasks that you can assign to yourself. It will also help you to have a real picture of whether you can meet a deadline.

I will talk about him more in the resources section, but

Explore why we procrastinate and learn seven tips for breaking the habits that lead to unproductive behaviors. You’ll be encouraged to think about how putting something off might take longer than actually doing it, and get links to more than three resources to get you started with new habits.

 

Show notes and resources

 

Get full access to Midlife Repurposed at michellerayburn.substack.com/subscribe

In this issue:

Our world needs more positive things such as kindness, grace, love, encouragement. But there is also a growing fear of expressing anything that isn’t positive. In this issue, you'll learn about positivity and why we need to have a balance between true positivity and reality, and how to frame it so we are not suppressing real feelings. You'll also get to know a woman who realized that what she thought was truth turned out to be a great deception, and hear how she's spreading a new message.

 

 

Podcast

Inspired Life: Three Ways to Cultivate Realistic Positivity

I want to talk about positivity and why we need to have a balance between true positivity and reality. Everywhere I look these days there is talk about positivity. Staying positive has become a hallmark of corporate circles—it's in just about every leadership, business or self-help book.

Positivity is a cool thing because our world does need more positive things such as kindness, grace, love, encouragement. But there is also a growing fear of expressing anything that isn’t positive.

What I think is beginning to happen is that we are encouraging people to stuff their feelings and their true situation out of fear of expressing something negative and superstitiously making bad things happen. I say this because there is also a growing sense of superstition that is hiding inside of things that look spiritual. And I am concerned. There. I said something negative. I am concerned.

First, my concerns about positivity. If don’t ever acknowledge a problem, how can change or solutions ever happen? There are two ways to acknowledge a problem. One is negative, and the other is positive. But it’s important to note that the process of stating there is a problem is not negative in and of itself.

Let’s take a look at a problem and see how it can be expressed both negatively and positively.

The problem: I have so much to do, and I am overwhelmed.

Example 1: Negatively expressing it.

I have so much to do, and I am overwhelmed. I am never going to catch up. I will forever be in this condition. Nobody cares about me. I can’t fix this.

Example 2: Positively expressing it.

I have so much to do, and I am overwhelmed. I know I need help and there is someone out there who can help me or show me a system that will work to process through these tasks. I just need to tap into the resources I haven’t yet discovered.

Do you see the shift there? One is that I have a problem and it can’t be fixed. The other is that I have a problem and I am a solution-seeker.

Here is where I have struggled with this in the past and sometimes still. I try to express the problem, but to someone who believes that there is some sort of voodoo in speaking the problem aloud. Instead of being real, someone of this persuasion will ask for a restatement of the problem itself.

Example: I am blessed with an abundance of things to do and I love it.

But the reality is, it doesn’t yet feel like a blessing or abundance. And honestly I don’t love it yet. So what this asks is for a person to stuff his or her true feelings and essentially lie to themselves.

What I propose is that we state the truth, but in a framework that we are seeking a solution and not succumbing to hopelessness. Let’s look at three ways we can make this shift happen where we can be real, but positive at the same time.

* Let yourself feel the feelings. Do you need to have a pity party? Give yourself a time limit on the blues, but let yourself feel something. I have tried to stuff feelings, and do you know what it leads to? All sorts of stomach troubles, disturbed sleep, physical pains, headaches.

Our world needs more positive things such as kindness, grace, love, encouragement. But there is also a growing fear of expressing anything that isn’t positive. In this issue, you'll learn about positivity and why we need to have a balance between true positivity and reality, and how to frame it so we are not suppressing real feelings. You'll also get to know a woman who realized that what she thought was truth turned out to be a great deception, and hear how she's spreading a new message.

 

Show notes and resources

 

Get full access to Midlife Repurposed at michellerayburn.substack.com/subscribe

Episode 008 - Check out the show notes in Issue 8 on the blog to get the full post, links, and photos that accompany this episode. www.michellerayburn.com/8

In this issue, we take a lighthearted look at the complicated emotions that go along with how honest we are about weight loss or weight gain and have a heart-to-heart about self-image. Explore why Michelle loves vintage cameras so much, and learn about the resource that was the inspiration for this blog.

This is Life, Repurposed with Michelle Rayburn, where you’ll find uplifting and practical advice for everyday living, creative inspiration for do-it-yourself projects, and recommendations for books and resources that will encourage you to embrace your life, repurposed. Check out tips, resources and inspiration at michellerayburn.com.

Michelle is the author of "The Repurposed and Upcycled Life: When God Turns Trash to Treasure" and several other books. She's a speaker and social media guru as well.

Musical tracks in this episode used legally with rights. Intro music purchased from safemusiclist.com, plus background tracks used from freesound.org (public domain tracks).

In this issue:

In this issue, we take a lighthearted look at the complicated emotions that go along with how honest we are about weight loss or weight gain and have a heart-to-heart about self-image. Explore why Michelle loves vintage cameras so much, and learn about the resource that was the inspiration for this blog.

 

 

Podcast

Inspired Life: Getting Honest with the Scale

In this issue, I want to lighten it up a little while staying true to my mission of inspiring and encouraging readers. Let’s chat a little about getting real. Some of you got through Christmas and then realized you were going to have to kick it into gear in the New Year and get rid of the Christmas cookies and buckeyes and fudge that are gone from the long-ago washed and put away candy trays and now residing on your back side.

If you’re like me when you decide to drop a few pounds – or fifty – you have had to get on the scale. Thus begins the games of leaning side to side, claiming water weight, and so on.

And then the scale moves. For. Real.

And some clothes start to fit.

You wonder if anyone will notice, but you don’t really want anyone to notice.  Let me explain.

It’s great when friends rejoice with us.

Unfortunately, it is more likely that someone—typically someone about your size who has no intention of dropping any pounds—will look you up and down and then accuse, “You’re losing weight, aren’t you.”

It’s uttered with the same tone someone might use to say, “You stole money from my wallet, didn’t you!”

By the time I get back in my skinny jeans (like as in lower size and not what we now call skinny jeans), they might be back in style again. Those stonewashed, pleated, belly-button-high jeans are coming back. I saw some at Target the other day.

So back to the story. This is when my insecurity begins to kick in.

I have discovered that once some moderate weight-loss takes place, people begin to gush and carry on about how great we look. For some people this would not be a problem, but for me it’s where my more complex side comes out.

We like it when someone notices we’ve lost weight.

On the other hand, if someone says the smaller version of me looks fabulous, this would indicate I have looked like a water buffalo for the past six years.

When I gain twenty pounds does anyone say, “You’re getting really fat. What plan are you on?”

I am waiting for the opportunity to say, “Oh, I couldn’t be happier since discovering the South Beached Whale Diet.”

The Real You

Let’s just get real for a few minutes about hiding stuff. We have perfected the art of bluffing, counterfeiting, and playing games, and we do it so well that we have no idea where authenticity leaves off and the façade begins. Why is it so hard to be authentic?

I can’t even be honest with the department of motor vehicles! My driver’s license reflects my pre-baby weight from eighteen years ago. Mercifully, the tactful workers at the DMV never tell me I’m the fluffiest 134-pound woman they have ever seen.

I think we hide the truth, because it reminds us that there is more pain under the surface. The script in our head says: “You’re worthless,” they say, “Ugly. Flawed. Worthless.”

Perhaps your pain comes from years ago when someone caused you to be insecure about your physical appearance—your nose, your chin, your lack of curves, too many curves, your hair.

Whatever the source, we’ve packed away perceptions and ideals that make it difficult for us to be authentic with even those closest to us. It makes us skeptical of loving words and compliments, too. When someone says, “I love you,

In this issue, we take a lighthearted look at the complicated emotions that go along with how honest we are about weight loss or weight gain and have a heart-to-heart about self-image. Explore why Michelle loves vintage cameras so much, and learn about the resource that was the inspiration for this blog.

 

Show notes and resources

 

Get full access to Midlife Repurposed at michellerayburn.substack.com/subscribe

Episode 007 - Check out the show notes in Issue 7 on the blog to get the full post, links, and photos that accompany this episode. www.michellerayburn.com/7

Figuring out what really matters can be an emotional process. Learn how to sort through priorities and get perspective, challenge yourself to eliminate unnecessary possessions, and learn more about not settling for more – yes, you read that right.

This is Life, Repurposed with Michelle Rayburn, where you’ll find uplifting and practical advice for everyday living, creative inspiration for do-it-yourself projects, and recommendations for books and resources that will encourage you to embrace your life, repurposed. Check out tips, resources and inspiration at michellerayburn.com.

Michelle is the author of "The Repurposed and Upcycled Life: When God Turns Trash to Treasure" and several other books. She's a speaker and social media guru as well.

Note: Musical tracks in this episode used legally with rights. Intro music purchased from safemusiclist.com, plus background tracks used from freesound.org (public domain tracks).

In this issue:

Figuring out what really matters can be an emotional process. Learn how to sort through priorities and get perspective, challenge yourself to eliminate unnecessary possessions, and learn about not settling for more – yes, you read that right.

 

 

Podcast

Inspired Life: What Really Matters

In a previous issue, I mentioned that I was going to talk about how to determine your priorities. I once experienced this in a very visual way and I have modified that activity for you to try.

This is going to be tough, but stay with me, because it has the potential to be meaningful.

We often think we have to have it all when it comes to activities and friendships and hobbies. We might think we really want something – like a new gadget or a big purchase. But if we had to lay it all on the line and figure out what matters, it might not be as important as we think.

Sort It Out

Grab six pieces of paper. It can be scratch paper if you wish, but just 6 things to write on. I want you to make the following notes, one on each paper. 

* Write “God and my relationship with Jesus.” I will explain this in a bit.

* Write the names of your children (if you don't have children, write down the name/names of someone who is important to you.

* Write the name of someone who really matters to you. Someone you love deeply. This might be a significant other, but it's up to you and your circumstances.

* Write down a hobby or activity that you really enjoy.

* Write down an activity that you do that takes a lot of your energy.  It might be good or bad.

* Write down something you would buy for yourself if you had an unlimited supply of money.

Imagine that you become terribly sick and the doctor tells you it's serious. You're going to have to give up something for the sake of your health.

Choose one of your papers and crumple it up.

It’s a few weeks later and you can't carry out your normal activities. You realize you must give up something else.

Choose another paper and crumple it up.

Several weeks later, you haven't improved. The doctor isn't sure about your prognosis, but it doesn't look good. You have so much on your to-do list, but you can’t do a thing. But still, you're faced with a choice. You must give up something else from the things that are dear to you.

Choose another paper and crumple it up.

Taking Stock of Priorities

I want you to look at what you have left. Imagine what it would be like if I went through all of those papers. I won't, but when I experienced this activity, I had to get it down to one thing. It was emotional for me.

You might wonder why I had you write God on one of the papers. For some people, God and Jesus really are not part of everyday life, and it’s easy to remove that from the priorities. For others, they believe that God is important, but when faced with a choice, they realize they aren’t sure they can let go of everything else and trust in only him if they get down to the last thing. Sometimes this is an opportunity to ask yourself if you want faith to be a more important part of your life. Would God offer you hope when life got difficult?

 I’m guessing that in the end, you were left if papers that had people on them. What if we really lived as if those things were important?

Spark Change

This is an opportunity for you to consider if you  life reflects what really matters.