Midlifing

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Simon and Lee sometimes publish episodes out of order and this is one of those times. They take you all the way back to the year 2020 (when this episode was actually recorded) in order to discuss their 2021 understanding of ambition and potential.

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at [email protected].

Related Links:

• Sign on door: https://www.skellis.net/midlifing/sign
• Video of arborist at work at Simon's place: https://www.skellis.net/midlifing/arborist
• Strictly Come Dancing: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strictly_Come_Dancing
• Back to the Future "We don't need roads": https://youtu.be/HEzAs3NAyIU
• Back to the Future "Marty": https://youtu.be/UH8EnrvEPDE
• Maisie Smith: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maisie_Smith
• The Bill: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bill
• EastEnders: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EastEnders
• Cronyism and PPE procurement: https://ukandeu.ac.uk/britains-ppe-procurement-chumocracy-cronyism-corruption/
• Aristotle on ambition: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201411/is-ambition-good-or-bad
• Intrinsic and extrinsic motivation: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motivation
• Cognitive dissonance: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance
• Simon playing tennis as a 12 year old: https://www.skellis.net/blog/tennis
• Ian Graham Ellis playing rugby: https://www.skellis.net/blog/ige
• Difference between drive, motivation and ambition: https://tonywake.com/the-difference-between-drive-ambition-and-motivation/
• Previous Midlifing episode about miscarriages: https://www.midlifing.net/1480717/6965252-it-hurts-so-much-to-hear-you-say-that-part-2-of-2
• Those who can't do, teach: https://www.coursef.com/those-who-cant-do-teach-quote-origin

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The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at [email protected].

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The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

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Happy Gregorian New Year faithful (and unfaithful) listeners! In this episode Lee describes a video of Simon's immanent obsolescence before they both dig into the nature of responsibility in the middle of a pandemic, or even just in normal times. Remember those halcyon days?

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at [email protected].

Related Links:

• Brexit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brexit 
• Our Tune: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Our_Tune
• Simon Bates: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simon_Bates
• The Hunger Games Mockingjay Call: https://youtu.be/pIago6ylKpc
• Robot Dancing video (Do You Love Me?): https://youtu.be/fn3KWM1kuAw
• Dirty Dancing, Do You Love Me?: https://youtu.be/aCioEEHmHA0
• Ballet bourrée en couru: https://youtu.be/EX4y-YNlybE
• World coronavirus data: https://coronavirus.jhu.edu/
• Example of Amazon and tax in the UK: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2020/oct/14/amazon-to-escape-uk-digital-services-tax-that-will-hit-smaller-traders
• Jordan Henderson interview: https://www.theguardian.com/football/2021/jan/01/jordan-henderson-liverpool-i-was-in-a-very-dark-place-it-made-me-a-lot-stronger
• Buddhism and non-attachment: https://secularbuddhism.com/understanding-non-attachment/
• Thatcher, individualism, and society: https://www.skyminds.net/the-thatcher-years-the-individual-and-society/
• Dominic Cummings drives to Barnard Castle to test his eyesight: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-52801667
• On Being; Krista Tippett interviews Michael Curry: https://onbeing.org/programs/bishop-michael-curry-dr-russell-moore-spiritual-bridge-people/
• Previous discussion about margins of friendship and Lee wanting to push people under buses: https://www.midlifing.net/1480717/6965252-it-hurts-so-much-to-hear-you-say-that-part-2-of-2
• How to review and rate podcasts on Apple Podcasts: https://ios.gadgethacks.com/how-to/rate-review-apple-podcast-series-show-for-others-view-0199495/

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The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at [email protected].

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The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

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In this special New Year's minisode Lee and Simon respond to a listener's question about the boom of knowing when you are properly grown-up. They nearly treat the question entirely earnestly but, as you would expect, get ever so slightly derailed. Happy New Year!

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at [email protected].

Related Links:

• grief: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grief
• alzheimer's society: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk
• List of English-language euphemisms for death: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_English-language_euphemisms_for_death
• improvisation: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Improvisation
• public speaking anxiety: https://nationalsocialanxietycenter.com/social-anxiety/public-speaking-anxiety
• dreidel: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dreidel

The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at [email protected].

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The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

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One thing Simon and Lee haven't talked about over the last fourteen years: deflection, friendship and a quiet and long withdrawal. Mourning something that has never been.

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at [email protected].

Related Links:

• miscarriage: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/miscarriage
• exponential function: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exponential_function
• Meghan Markle The Losses We Share: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/11/25/opinion/meghan-markle-miscarriage.html
• Turkish lira: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turkish_lira
• triggering: https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/triggering
• Joanne "Bob" Whalley (2014), The unborn undead. Studies in Theatre and Performance Volume 34(3): 260-166. https://doi.org/10.1080/14682761.2014.973179
• silent or missed miscarriage: https://www.madeformums.com/pregnancy/what-is-a-missed-miscarriage/
• psychological deflection: https://www.learning-mind.com/psychological-deflection/
• I see you shiver with anticipation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqOEnbXmnGc
• Simon's part in the conversation, referring to Episode 4: https://www.midlifing.net/1480717/6552364-you-ve-never-thrown-your-keys-in-my-fish-bowl
• fecund: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fecund
• deflector shields: https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Deflector_shield
• IVF: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/ivf/
• jiz: http://onlineslangdictionary.com/meaning-definition-of/jiz

The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at [email protected].

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The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

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A Christmas Day minisode from Lee and Simon, and it's all about – well, mostly about – circlusion. Merry Christmas!

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at [email protected].

Related Links:

• noise-cancelling headphones: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noise-cancelling_headphones
• Sony WH1000XM2 Over Ear Noise Cancelling Headphones (unboxing video): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTCZRYfeQZY
• Italian COVID-19 colour zones: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/nov/09/italy-faces-10000-covid-deaths-in-a-month-with-no-lockdown-medics
• Australian temperature colours: https://www.theguardian.com/environment/damian-carrington-blog/2013/jan/08/australia-bush-fires-heatwave-temperature-scale
• kink shaming: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/kink-outside-the-box/202008/kink-shaming-how-did-we-get-here
• Prince and the Revolution – Kiss: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9tEvfIsDyo
• consent: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Consent
• circlusion: http://www.maskmagazine.com/the-mommy-issue/sex/circlusion
• boolean: https://www.computerhope.com/jargon/b/boolean.htm
• cringe: https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/cringe
• Lee's friend's ejaculation-while-watching-horror story from Episode 1: https://www.midlifing.net/1480717/6325762-the-primacy-of-the-erection
• tickling: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tickling
• pain and pleasure: https://www.livewithbelieve.com/pain-and-pleasure-principle/

The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at [email protected].

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The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

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Simon and Lee talk about legacy and how we want to be remembered. Simon crosses a line.


Get in touch with Lee and Simon at [email protected].

Related Links:

• bequeath: https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/bequeath
• synology: https://www.synology.com/en-uk/products/DS1520+
• data rot (Simon was wrong about this; it does have to do with reading and writing of physical storage devices): https://www.partitionwizard.com/clone-disk/bit-rot.html
• consumerism vs materialism: https://centegrity.com.au/materialism-vs-consumerism-why-we-buy-so-much-stuff/
• One Man and His Shoes (review): https://www.theguardian.com/film/2020/oct/21/one-man-and-his-shoes-review-air-jordans-michael-jordan-nike-documentary
• people killed for their Air Jordans: https://www.vibe.com/2015/11/gq-finds-1200-people-die-a-year-over-sneakers
• Nike values "consumer lives": https://www.financialgazette.co.zw/mother-seeks-justice-from-nike-and-michael-jordan-for-sons-death/
• James O'Brien quote about changing our minds: https://www.talkingpoliticspodcast.com/blog/2020/290-james-obrien

The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at [email protected].

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The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

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There comes a time in anyone's life when preparing food for worms is a warning that things are about to go bad. Lee and Simon tackle feedback and Lee confesses that he cuts out the good bits.

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at [email protected].

Related Links:

• Stollen: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stollen
• Worm composting: https://www.rhs.org.uk/advice/profile?PID=726
• Simon's finger: https://www.skellis.net/midlifing/nail
• Gip: https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/gip
• How to use a chef's knife: https://www.thespruceeats.com/how-to-use-a-chefs-knife-995812
• Fame (film): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fame_%281980_film%29
• Fame (TV show): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fame_%281982_TV_series%29
• Australian Choreographic Centre: https://canberra.infoisinfo-au.com/card/the-australian-choreographic-centre-inc/17959
• Pashing: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pashing
• Speaking in tongues: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speaking_in_tongues
• Paula White prays for Trump's re-election: https://youtu.be/I4daeEacIVI

The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at [email protected].

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The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

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Lee and Simon fall into a hole caused by a crisis of faith and end up getting stuck. If you don't know how to talk about something at least talk about it together. People mentioned: Jesus Christ, Gabrielle Eastwood-Ellis, Simon's former tennis coach Simon, Bill Gates, Philip K. Dick, Sean Connery, Indiana Jones, Norman Miller, Bono and Irene Miller.

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at [email protected].

Related Links:

• belief systems: https://medium.com/intercultural-mindset/belief-systems-what-they-are-and-how-they-affect-you-1cd87aa775ff
• giggle fits: https://healthyliving.azcentral.com/the-causes-of-giggle-fits-12509374.html
• gong shower (bath): https://vinyasaproductions.com/gong-bath/
• golden shower: https://www.allure.com/story/golden-showers-sex-fetish-piss-play-for-beginners
• Totnes, 5G, Covid-19 and conspiracy theories: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/nov/11/totnes-covid-concerns-reflect-uk-wide-rise-in-conspiracy-theories
• Philip K. Dick and reality: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/646-reality-is-that-which-when-you-stop-believing-in-it
• Indiana Jones' leap of faith: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-JIfjNnnMA
• QAnon and anti-semitism: https://www.theguardian.com/news/audio/2020/sep/21/the-growing-influence-of-the-qanon-conspiracy-theory-podcast
• beliefs: https://wiserhorizons.co.uk/what-are-beliefs/
• fundamentalism: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamentalism
• scientific method: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientific_method
• Norman Denzin said "true stories are stories that are believed in" (Interpretive Biography, 1989, p.25)
• shitshow: https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/shit+show
• vipassana meditation retreats: https://www.vipassanaonline.com/vipassana-online

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at [email protected].

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The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

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Lee owns up to being an enthusiastic toddler, Jef is still a dalmation, and Simon takes way too long for the penny to drop. Things go literally bananas while discussing a conversation gone wrong, and the ride involves oat milk that may or may not froth, leaving Facebook, cultural products, triplets and not showering enough.

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at [email protected].

Related Links and References:

• Using the word literally figuratively: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/aug/13/literally-broken-english-language-definition
• Why does language change over time?: https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/topics/z86qsbk/articles/z7fyb82
• Why cool is still cool: https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/opinion/why-cool-is-still-cool.html
• Is it too early in the day to have an alcoholic drink? https://today.yougov.com/topics/food/articles-reports/2020/06/25/time-drink
• Recipe for oat milk: https://minimalistbaker.com/make-oat-milk/
• Why milk froths: https://www.ricardocuisine.com/en/articles/food-chemistry/521-the-facts-about-milk-foam
• Gliadin and Glutenin in bread: https://www.gluteninsight.com/what-are-gliadin-and-glutenin/
• On leaving Facebook: https://www.skellis.net/blog/on-leaving-facebook
• Steven Covey on judging ourselves: https://donmcminn.com/2020/02/we-judge-ourselves-by-our-intentions-and-others-by-their-behavior/
• Cultural products: https://www.igi-global.com/dictionary/the-cultural-product/39220
• Dance as a metaphor: http://joymotiondance.com/dance-metaphor/
• How to tell if someone likes you: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/someone-likes-you/
• Moglie: https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/italian-english/moglie
• Thruple: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=thruple
• Swinging: https://www.dictionary.com/browse/swinging
• Key party: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=key%20party
• Triplets: https://www.dacapoalcoda.com/triplets
• Double fisting: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=double%20fisting
• Double fisting: http://onlineslangdictionary.com/meaning-definition-of/double-fist
• How often should we shower?: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324682

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at [email protected].

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The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

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You know when you're talking about ethical shopping, climate change and GDP, but then end up being confused for Chris Martin at a service station? Precisely. Lee and Simon talk about buying services not things, investing in the body or the face, lingering glances, self-expectations, overnight contextual changes, lunch 'with' Gwyneth and Chris, delusion and self-judgment, and Darth Vader.

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at [email protected].

Related Links and References:

• Paynter Jacket Co: https://paynterjacket.com
• Correction: Simon mentions a book by Richard Sennett but it's actually a book by Richard Denniss called Curing affluenza: how to buy less stuff and save the world. Here's an extract: https://www.themonthly.com.au/blog/richard-denniss/2017/28/2017/1511857191/curing-affluenza
• GDP and climate change: https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2016/04/gdp-ignores-the-things-that-matter-like-climate-change
• Dance, mirrors and body image: https://alreadypretty.com/dance-and-body-image-interview-with/
• Dismorphia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder
• Vastus medialis: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vastus_medialis 
• VMO and cycling: https://www.bicycling.com/training/a20023377/how-to-build-this-iconic-cycling-muscle/
• Chewing on piece of rubber to improve jawline: https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/guys-are-gnawing-on-a-fat-rubber-ball-to-try-to-grow-a-chiseled-jaw
• Runt: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Runt
• Pas de deux: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pas_de_deux
• Chris Martin and ashtanga yoga: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-karma-of-coldplay_b_8720004
• River Cafe: https://rivercafe.co.uk/
• Jamie Oliver on being discovered at River Cafe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANwzrT4-8Y4
• Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop: https://goop.com/
• Self-awareness: https://hbr.org/2018/01/what-self-awareness-really-is-and-how-to-cultivate-it
• Delusion: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delusion
• Negative self-judgments: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-wise-open-mind/200910/you-can-let-go-negative-self-judgments
• Spider-man: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider-Man
• Darth Vader breathing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjvps9f_KLI
• Sounds of Bane from Batman: https://www.101soundboards.com/boards/10197-bane-sounds-the-dark-knight-rises 

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at [email protected].

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The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)