Chapter 87 is the beach episode! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss epic 2005 makeovers, the Millennial urge to become a marine biologist, and the potentially fraught physiology of SCUBA diving with hollow bones.

Today's episode isn't just a chapter, it's a whole dang synopsis! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they indulgently reminisce about 2023 (books), gush about this cool new author that you probably haven't heard of (Brandon Sanderson), and shockingly reveal who has a book problem (everyone).

Chapter 85 is Oops! All tangents! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss rich people's librarians, hangry hunter-gatherers, and regrettably, James Patterson's '69 (again).

Chapter 84 is gonna take you to church! Actually, it's a cathedral. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss sanctuary laws, failed adaptations, and the James Patterson '69.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Midlight Crisis gave to me:

Twelve dancing birdkids;

Eleven movie titles;

Ten concept changes;

Nine fired night guards;

Eight visual bird gags;

Seven evil patents;

Six himbo moments;

FIVE HOT CRISEEEEES;

Four heist montages;

Three story tropes;

Two percent bird genes;

AND A CASSOWARY IN A PEAR TREEEEEE

Chapter 83 is screaming bloody murder and so is the audio quality for some reason. Sorry about that, I don't know what happened. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss their own fourteen-year-old destinies (magical world-saving love triangles), bikes and Mikes, and the worst possible ways to make your human-dog hybrid not get hurt.

Chapter 82 comes to you straight from the, uh, pointer of the ouija doohickey. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they, respectively, discuss the complex history of beanie babies, the surprising origin of the ouija board, and doing toy crimes.

Chapter 81 is none of your beeswax, dipstick! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss Max's evolving brain disease, the very cool technology of the early 2000s, and if h-e-double-hockey-sticks is a swear.

Chapter 80 is our Roman Empire (Taylor's version). Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss surfing the 'net (for kids and families!), Sophie's cat's inner potential, and secret subway cities.