I had the honor today to sit down with Tides of Life Doula and Perinatal Bereavement Services, CEO, Ashley Inclima, for an in-depth discussion about the importance of perinatal grief and loss education for birth workers.  

Ashley Inclima is a birth and bereavement doula, certified grief educator, and founder of Tides of Life Doula & Perinatal Bereavement Services LLC. Her passion for this work began after the loss of her son Adrian, whose fatal diagnosis in 2011 led to a termination for medical reasons. She later experienced a 5-week pregnancy loss, which further highlighted how often families navigating loss are met with a lack of resources, support, and compassionate care.

Drawing from her journey, specialized training, and over a decade of professional experience in OB/GYN settings, Ashley supports families through loss, pregnancy after loss, and early postpartum. She also provides education for doulas and birth professionals on offering trauma-informed, compassionate care, and recently launched a self-paced version of her Tides of Life: Perinatal Loss Training to increase accessibility. 

Ashley facilitates Tides of Life: Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support Circle, an online community with a monthly gathering for grieving families. Her mission is to ensure no one walks through loss alone and to help birth workers feel prepared to hold space for healing.

Some additional resources from Ashley:

YouTube Video:

 Online Support Community: 

In this deeply personal episode, I share the story of a recent traumatic experience involving my son and how it forced me to stop, feel, and breathe again.

I talk about what it’s like to go underwater emotionally, the guilt and grief that followed, and the clarity that only challenges can bring. More importantly, I reflect on what this experience taught me about motherhood, mental health, and the importance of choosing yourself, even when everything around you feels heavy.

This is a conversation about honoring the hard moments, taking a breath, and deciding how to move forward, more softly, slowly, and intentionally.

Connect with me if you need support

If it's not one thing it's another, and I am referring to the hurdles and life event's of mothers and women.  Today I had the privilege of sitting down with Hot or Just Me founder, Carin Luna-Ostaseski to talk about the intersection of postpartum and perimenopause, and how we don't have to simply accept this stage in life.  We openly explore the most common symptoms of perimenopause, the frequency and duration of this timeframe, and what you can do to educate yourself on perimenopause and make yourself more comfortable.  You will NOT want to miss this discussion or getting to know Carin.

As mentioned in the episode, you can follow this link and use MidnightMom for 10% off any products after visiting her site and taking their quiz.

Additional links mentioned

Finding a trusted and trained provider here @Menopause.org

The New Menopause Dr. Mary Claire Haver

In this episode, we explore the multifaceted and continuously changing nature of motherhood. Far from being a static role, motherhood evolves with time, personal growth, and shifting dynamics within the family. From the early days of infancy, through the toddler years, adolescence, and into adulthood, the journey of being a mother is marked by constant adaptation, learning, and transformation. We discuss how motherhood isn't defined by a single set of rules, but rather, is shaped by an individual’s experiences, cultural influences, and personal values and that is why we don't have a rule book.  Tune in as I share my perspective for this current season of motherhood and it's hosts of challenges, and offer some tips and tricks on how to set yourself up for success in each season, after you define it.

I encourage you to stay connected so head over to The Whole Mom and sign up for our newsletter, especially to get a sneak peak at the free course I'm working on.

What happens when you get burned out at your job?  Most people can recognize this and then take action, such as taking a vacation or a sick day, which can help you step away and get recentered. What happens when moms get burned out and can't plan a holiday away from their family, or call in sick?  The 2024 moms have more responsibilities than ever, contributing to overstimulation and burnout in more than one area of their lives.  These experiences impact how we show up for ourselves, our children, and our careers, and get mislabeled resulting in a few layers of mom guilt.  In this episode, I explore the signs and symptoms of burnout, and how to leverage supports in your life and exercise creativity to prevent and recover from burnout.  Even single moms, or moms with minimal support can put systems in place to support their mental health.  There is something for everyone in this episode.  As always, I would love to hear from you so feel free to share the episode or write a review.  If you need support and you aren't sure where to turn, I invite you to book a call with me here and talk about what that support would look like and let me show you how some of our services can be helpful for you.

When we encounter difficult or challenging times (hello postpartum) our brains attempt to protect us, shielding us from any type of harm, emotionally or physically and it looks different for everyone.  I share my experience with emotional removal from the postpartum period, what it looked like, why I think it happened, and how it presented for me years down the road.  Whether you are a new mom, expecting mom, or seasoned, this has valid points an reassurance for YOU.  Learning to stay present through the challenges can bring rewards later down the road and leave you open for less "what if's" if you can leverage it.

Remember, nobody can tell you that you hold your baby too much, whether they are 3 weeks old or 30 years old.  They are your baby and your connection to all great things.  If you are interested in working through some of what was discussed here, then I invite you to connect with me.  

Free Consult

Stay healthy and safe

Nicole

You might be wondering how these two intertwine and if you tune in I promise you will learn very quickly.  I recognize that we put so much emphasis on the physical aspect of postpartum recovery without much mention of the mental health component.  It takes work, insight, and choice to be able to overcome some significant challenges that occurred throughout the postpartum period.  Sometimes you need a clean slate to build upon to recover successfully, and other times you need to do nothing so you can survive. Learning which season you are in can help determine the intervention, and sometimes it will result in you tossing your Christmas tree.  I hope you enjoy listening to this full circle postpartum recovery moment for me, and if you need some assistance in your recovery, you can always book a free consultation.  Happy Thanksgiving all.

I'm so excited to be back after some short time away and to be as transparent as possible, life has been kicking me around a bit, mentally.  I decided to share with you what I have been doing to protect my peace and mental health during this time, and how I plan to carry that through to the holiday season.  The world around us might be a bit chaotic and feel unsafe, but I want you to know that you are always welcome here, and I am available if you need assistance now, or at any point in the future.  Be sure to follow me on IG at nicole_kumi and you can always email me at [email protected]

Have you ever had a moment with your kids or spouse where you could feeling yourself unwinding but you cannot stop?  Yep, that was me this week, dealing with stress and sick kiddos, and eventually losing my shit on my daughter.  I experienced all of the emotions and guilt that came along with not being able to hold it together.  I share that experience with you in this episode, as well as how I bounced back from it, future expectations, and I give you permission to lose your shit once in a while so you can experience the wide array of emotions afforded to us as humans.  You are human, you will lose your shit, it is ok, and there is a lesson to be learned here.  I hope you enjoy this and find some validation knowing it is a natural and healthy part of your process

One of the hardest parts of motherhood is the loss of control in the postpartum period.  Without the proper education and information about the realities of the postpartum period, moms are left to figure many things out on their own, often leading to a decline in their mental health.  I share my journey around losing control and how attempting to protect my mental health put me at risk for late-onset postpartum depression.  Tune in as I talk about this process and how I eventually intervened, implementing systems that would help me recover.

As always, if you need support, feel free to connect.