Wes and Adam are back at it again, after a long unexpected hiatus. Will Mulder ever not get caught snooping? Is Scully powerless against the forces that remove her from big reveals? Is Alex Jones the missing link? Can you trap the wind? It's the episode with all the deep metaphysical discussions about the afterlives of NASCAR drivers!

This week, our dashing duo is joined by J. Keith van Straaten, the host of the best trivia game show podcast on the Maximum Fun network: Go Fact Yourself! Revel with us as we talk about how great writers can be when they aren't making X-Files into, well, X-Files. It's the episode with all the recommendations!

This week, our dashing duo ride up to a research station in the Arctic to do battle with alien mealworms... that eat human hormones? Does Scully see Mulder as more than a friend? Do Mulder's erect nipples rate a full 10/10 on the Mohs scale? Just how much of Batman consist of Batman parts? It's the episode with all the topless Duchovny scenes!

This week, Mulder and Scully investigate a strange machine capable of defending itself from all enemies, foreign and domestic. For the B-plot, our beloved cohosts watch in horror as their original audio files mysteriously vanish! Does Mulder have a heart-gripping fear of artificial intelligence? Will Scully ever stop being stalked, even by non-human entities? It's the episode with all the improvements!

In this week's episode, Scully and Mulder investigate a string of strange deaths tied to a grieving secretary with an extradimensional friend. Will Mulder ever take pictures of anything other than furniture? Does Scully have selective blindness to facts? Will Adam sucker punch Wes when he least expects it? It's the episode with everything you need to know about ghosts created by car accidents at intersections.

This week, Wes and Adam write new slogans for Nintendo's new marketing campaign aimed at broken homes. Mulder's on a quest to find his one true Neanderthal love, while Scully dips her toes in the dating world of bad friend advice. It's the episode where our beloved hosts start a fight club in the Applebee's parking lot.

This week, Wes and Adam dig in to an episode where the true monsters are the ones that brought it to life.

Is Scully the target of a government stalkers' club? Will Mulder join a doomsday UFO biker cult? Can Adam even make it to the end of the recording? It's the episode where we rename Eugene Victor Tooms!

This week, Wes and Adam discuss the show's first real monster.

Is Eugene Victor Tooms just biding his time until someone else mutates into his species? Is Mulder addicted to one-liners? Is Scully the real hero of gun safety? It's the episode with all the architectural PSAs!

This week, Wes and Adam discuss how effective the U.S. Federal Government is, in all its might, as a monster. Does Scully know everything about all medical science ever? Will Mulder ever use his legs? Are our beloved agents part of the problem? It's the episode with all the bad analogies.

Longtime friends Wes and Adam discuss the first "monster" of the first episode of the X-Files, a strapping, young human coma victim by the name of Billy Miles. It's the pilot!