Mike and Tim Visit Earth

Ep 41.

THE WHOLE GANG IS HERE AND THEY JUST CAME BACK FROM INNER SPACE!! THIS IS A WILD ONE!

So while we could talk all day long about how much fun it was to record with comedians Mike Feeney and Brendan Sagalow following an epic trip to inner space, there are more important issues at hand - such as the first approved very real fan fiction submission by supporter of the show, Shane R. So, without any further ado, here it is:

Mike and Tim Visit Earth Fan Fiction

October 18, 2017 By: Shane R**** Chapter 1 Deep in the forests of a time long forgotten, a hooded man moved quietly through a misty twilit morning. For a long time all was quiet, but suddenly there was a brilliant flash of light paired with the crackle of electricity. The hooded man moved warily toward the sudden anomaly. A new man was seen face down, his neck kinked against a tree's root and his arm twisted awkwardly underneath him. As the hooded man reached the strange visitor, all he could hear were muffled sobs, murmurs of "I want to kill myself," and what sounded like a single airy fart. The visitor was wearing a heather gray t-shirt and red heart boxers; somehow his pants were down to his ankles, perhaps explaining his less than graceful landing. Upon closer inspection the t-shirt was more of a kaleidoscopic tie-die of sweat stains than a single color, clearly the wearer was in bad shape. "Deine Hoesen!" the hooded man shouted in a playful voice, not so much matching his knightly frame. "Ughh...Umphh....Fuck…." The visitor was finally stirring. Just in time too, the previously hooded man had disrobed down to a single pair of silky purple underwear, which just barely concealed his excitement. "Ooohhh Deine Hose ist runter du sexy Schlampe!" As the semi-nude man zeroed in on his ass, the visitor barrell rolled away in the knick of time. He quickly moved on the attack after pulling up his jeans, and with a single punch to the nose rendered his puzzling foe unconscious. The visitor pulled out several syringes, and quickly injected the unconscious threat several times. "That better fucking stabilize him" he muttered as he took a generous swig of bourbon from a flask in his backpack. He then pulled out a tiny sharp device labeled "ENGLISH, AMERICAN" and stuck it behind the man's head. "TIM!" yelled the visitor. "Mike?" Tim mumbled, my head is killing me! "Here, take this you faggot" Mike handed Tim a sky-blue headband that not only looked fabulous, it took the pain away like nothing else ever had. "I charged it with….love energy" Mike said as he quickly scrapped off a crusty flake from the fashion accessory. "Ok man, while you were out I gave you some treatments, your hormones are going to stabilize over the next 30 seconds, so I'm warning you tha-- Suddenly Tim turned a sickly green, projectile vomited and sprayed more shit out of his ass than a pissed off hippopotamus (seriously, YouTube that shit) before sprinting into a nearby stream and collapsing. Mike dragged Tim out, and did all of the difficult and unpleasant work of cleaning him up, drying him off and dressing him in new, warm, Lulu Lemon clothing he'd brought from the future. Mike would go on to receive seemingly zero benefit from these caring actions, but proved himself to be a key asset in Tim's long journey. Secretly though he understood things differently and observed, and at this point in the story, is mostly dormant. Yet deep inside of a dark crevice within his being, something stirs that cannot be stopped. As Tim came to, Mike said to him "we'll deal with what just happened right now later, but now we have to move. Hopefully the memory serum worked, because if my information is correct you're a different incarnation the soul that came into the 1980s New York time period with me in the form of Tim Rothschild. Tim stared blankly at Mike, a single tear streaming down his face. Without wasting any more time Mike locked arms with Tim, pointed a small device at them, and said "we're going to Rainbow Road." And with a flash they were flung through the fabric of the universe to their surreal destination. TO BE CONTINUED... Enjoy the Show!!!

Episode 40.

Mike and Tim have another super fun episode enjoying each other's company from afar, but it feels oh so close as their conversation warms Mike's freezing apartment as well as his icy heart. Check out the newest addition to the show: the OBExpress - giving metaphysical traffic updates every Wednesday morning.

Also, this is our standard bi-weekly request for more fan fiction. We hear a lot of "oh yeah totally gonna do it" and "just about finished, sending it right over" but then nothing. NOTHING. Mike and Tim are left on the edge of their seat, fingers in their butts...and really thats just not fair to us. Shame on all of you. Shame! Enjoy the show!

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www.DivineEvolution.Eventbrite.com

BUY MIKES ALBUM

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-think-it-just-kicked-in/id1273372368

Episode 39.

At the culmination of much hard work and preparation - almost a year of diligent planning - Mike found himself running down the steps of the museum about as fast as he could without risking a fall, hyper aware of the importance of what he was carrying in his hands. He could hear the screech of tires as Tim whipped around the corner, arriving at their meeting point just in time. So far so good.

"We cool"? Tim asked calmly, as Mike slid into the back seat of the Jeep, keeping a close eye on what was behind them.

"No." Mike said with a clear focus as he locked eyes with Tim, seeming to communicate something nonverbal which they both understood. "Someone knew we were coming."

Tim nodded silently. He relaxed his shoulders and took a deep breath, then exhaled. It was always a pleasant surprise to realize how alive he felt during the worst of times. He was reminded of all the past adventures he and Mike had been through - the narrow escapes, and how easily either one of them could not have made it home without capture, or worse. But they always did, and they always came back for more. Luck was ALWAYS on their side.

"Time to dance." Tim floored the Jeep.

Mike knocked out the back window with the end of his rifle, careful not to disturb the relic inside his pouch.

Almost immediately, what appeared to be a small army of vehicles came up quickly from behind and in front, blocking the Jeep at the nearest intersection.

"GO!" Mike yelled, handing the relic to Tim with the most delicate touch. Tim knew what this meant. He put it in a special container designed to ensure that if something did happen to the relic, it would remain intact. The container alone cost nearly $50,000, something Tim wasn't too happy about at the time, but now he knew it was the right choice - this wasn't going as well as he hoped. He cut the jeep and drove it directly into the nearest coffee shop, narrowly missing a few unsuspecting customers as glass blew everywhere. Screams erupted as Mike opened fire on the pursuing vehicles, a familiar tinge of guilt running up his spine as he connected with a few shots.

And then it happened - a bullet screamed past Mike's face, and then another striking him on the side of the head.

Tim, sticking to the plan, was already gone.

Enjoy the show!

BUY MIKES ALBUM

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-think-it-just-kicked-in/id1273372368

THE DIVINE EVOLUTION RETREAT in JOSHUA TREE 11/9 - 11/12 Coupon Code "TDMPOD" for 10% off

www.DivineEvolution.Eventbrite.com

Episode 38. Season 4! Season 4! Season 4!

This chapter is deliberately left wide open for listeners of the show to send in their own fan-fiction to be acted out by Mike and Tim in following shows. Prizes, awards, and recognition will be showered upon worthy participants! If by next week nothing is submitted, a prize will be awarded to Tim, who will be at that time the only person writing the fan-fiction, adding an interesting dimension to this whole thing - one that we wish to avoid but which feels somewhat inevitable. Tim is looking forward to it, to be honest.

Enjoy the show!

BUY MIKES ALBUM

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-think-it-just-kicked-in/id1273372368

THE DIVINE EVOLUTION RETREAT in JOSHUA TREE 11/9 - 11/12 Coupon Code "TDMPOD" for 10% off

www.DivineEvolution.Eventbrite.com

Episode 37.

Mike stumbles onto Rainbow Road for the first time, questioning how he got himself into this predicament in the first place. Tim, never questioning the information he receives in the dream state, knew exactly when Mike would arrive, and was waiting.

"Aho!" Tim yells, his grin spreading widely across his face.

"What the hell is your problem and where am I? And since when do you say 'Aho'?"

"That's the official greeting of The Rainbow Road. You don't like it?"

"I don't like any of this." Mike replied

"Oh, you will."

And with that, Tim was gone. Using an old trick Mike learned to discern between waking and dream states, he looked down at his feet, and they were there. He looked at his hands. Yeah, those were there too. "I guess this isn't a dream." He muttered to himself.

The vibrating colors of the road, undulating like a swell in a deep sea, swallowed by the darkest of the dark light, should have made him uneasy, but the soft glow radiating off of the road offered some sort of unnatural relaxation to his system.

Mike looked as far as he could see - behind him, nothing. Pure darkness. He shuddered. Before him, The Rainbow Road, with no end in sight. The Road was calling to a place deep inside of him. What was it that it wanted? This place is ancient, he thought.

Inside the recesses of Mike's brain, he thought he heard Tim chuckle. Shaking it off, he took another step on the road, and then another.

It was then that he realized that Tim had not been wearing his bandana...

BUY MIKES ALBUM

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THE DIVINE EVOLUTION RETREAT in JOSHUA TREE 11/9 - 11/12

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Episode 36.

As season 3 comes to an end, Mike and Tim take no time to reflect on its transitory nature, but instead choose to tell hilarious stories. But the facts don't change - production has turned chaotic, it is nearly impossible to see each other in person outside of highway rest stops, and both Gina and Jessica are gone, presumed to be dead.

But as the two boys, now quite obviously men, press forward through the haze - catching a glimpse of light every now and then - only to be overtaken by the fog of what we are actually doing here...what can we all expect? Season 4 is coming. Change is coming. There is always chaos before order. Order before chaos. Nobody is ready for Season 4, except us. You're definitely not ready at all. Get ready.

*note* Mike and Tim did take time to reflect AFTER the show which is why we know we are ready and you are not. GET READY.

Episode 35.

Mike and Tim trade spots on opposite ends of the country, triggering story after story from Tim's dark past. Also, Mikes 1 year wedding anniversary, his album absolutely crushing the charts and anyone else who stands in his path, and Tim goes off on climate change, gays and asians (and really feels uncomfortable about it).

BUY MIKE'S NUMBER ONE RANKED ALBUM HERE: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-think-it-just-kicked-in/id1273372368

HEALINGS AND READINGS WITH TIM @ www.thethirdthing.net/shop

Episode 34.

A lasting friendship endures the day after Rabbit Hole. The day after Tim's birthday party. The day after Mike drinks too much. The day after Tomorrow.

BUY MIKE'S ALBUM.

Episode 33.

Christ Consciousness. Also, I think we said several times during this show that the DITRH reunion will have already been recorded by the time this comes out and we were absolutely wrong...and DMT.

*Some audio issues were not fixable so you just gotta deal - its fine, just not perfect. Like you're romantic partner. Same thing.

Episode 32.

Now that the sun is gone, what shall we do? Mike and Tim discuss a surplus of extremely complex topics and break them down in a way that is easy for any listener at any level to digest and immediately integrate into their lives - proving to be beneficial on multiple levels, often indicating dramatic positive life changes. This episode breaks down barriers and builds them back up in a truer, more steadfast form. Taking a holistic, yet skeptical view, deep truths are uncovered regarding every facet of the human race. This is the only episode on this planet like it.