MIKE on Sports!

The Olympic sport of gymnastics confuses me.

I'm perplexed as to why the sport of gymnastics discriminates against bigger boned bodies.

Yes, I'm lamenting why larger ladies and girthier guys who would like to wear leotards are getting shafted.

If boxing and wrestling have a myriad of divisions ranging from pint size featherweights to hulking heavyweights, why can't the same be true of gymnastics?

I know the words don’t even seem compatible. They appear to go together about as well as Yankees and Red Sox fans.

You see, I’ve compiled my very own list of non-sport sports.

It consists of roaring races, organized parlor games and quirky contests that involve little or no athletic ability.

Skill and discipline are certainly involved in these competitions, but obviously none of an athletic nature.

Yet, these non-sports sports are openly, and tragically, called sports by ESPN, FOX and the major sports media outlets.

Painfully, they’re treated with the same respect as real sports played by accomplished athletes in the NFL, MLB, NBA, NHL and MLS.

MIKE on sports, sports humor, NASCAR, pool, curling, poker, sports stuff you should know

You know exactly what I mean when I refer to “immensely important inconsequential games!

Be honest. We ALL play them!

They’re the juvenile bar room competitions that we instantly turn into epic Olympic events.

They’re the mindless matches that puff up our pride and get our competitive juices flowing.

They’re the childish clashes that force us to focus, stand taller, talk tougher and take on challengers as if it’s Game 7 of the NBA Finals.

Sure, these games may be immature and sophomoric, but they’re immensely important.

MIKE on sports, sports humor, fun sports stuff, bar games, important games

If you think steroids will make you a better athlete today, know now what steroids will do to your body tomorrow.

Ladies who want a competitive short cut today need to consider whether they want a bristly beard and a body like Bridezilla tomorrow.

MIKE on sports, steroids, sports humor, sports stuff you should know

In all of sports, this 10' by 4' glass enclosed structure stands alone as a unique piece of real estate.

That's why hockey’s penalty box easily checks into a special place in my MIKE on Sports! podcast.

Hockey is the only sport that boasts a physical cell of sorts with a thick wooden door and reinforced plexi-glass walls.

Hockey’s penalty box is where players are temporarily banished from the ice for bratty behavior - like tripping, slashing and excessively rough play.

MIKE on sports, hockey, sin bin, penalty box, sports humor, NHL, sports stuff you should know, sports history, fun sports facts

Now, here’s a strange name for a very important test! 

Every year at the NFL Combine, draft prospects learn that there’s nothing wonderful about taking the Wonderlick test - that mandatory and daunting eaxm with a funny sounding & highly intimidating name. 

That’s because potential NFL players can’t possibly prepare for the Wonderlic’s 12 minute, 50 multiple choice questions. 

Similar to college SAT exams, the Wonderlic test focuses on math, vocabulary and cognitive reasoning skills….and, ironically, poses no questions having anything whatsoever to do with football.

MIKE on sports, sports humor, American sports culture, fun sports facts, sports history, sports stuff you should know, NFL

When organizing its first draft in 1936, the NFL never imagined just how successful its formal selection process would become.

Nor did the league realize its growing sport would spawn its own unique language – that I now call NFL Draft Speak.

This highly specialized language comes complete with idiomatic phrases determining the future fortunes of forecasted first round picks.

Ironically, as the most televised non-athletic sports event on the planet, the NFL Draft begs for expert analysis like never before.

Once again, ESPN and NFL Network analysts will be called upon to expertly decode NFL Draft Day language.

These pigskin pundits will dissect dozens of NFL prospects while translating NFL Draft Speak into everyday language.

MIKE on sports, American sports culture, fun sports facts, sports history, sports stuff you should know, NFL Draft, ESPN, NFL Network

Today is Earth Day. So, to celebrate, I'm going green.

Now don't get me wrong. 

I'm no left leaning, hybrid driving, granola crunching, tree hugging environmentalist.....not that there's anything wrong with that.

I'm going green because it’s my duty as a citizen on this planet.

And, I want to show other sports fans how to go green, too.

No, I'm not measuring my carbon footprint or even recycling any of my toilet paper.

Instead, as a sports junkie, I'm creating my own Earth Day tradition. I’m going green the way a true sports fan needs to go green.

MIKE on sports, sports humor, American sports culture, fun sports facts, sports history, sports stuff you should know, going green, Earth Day

You know, if ESPN once reported on a NASCAR driver named Dick Trickle, then, we can certainly report on a soccer player named Kaka.

Actually, his real name is Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite, and he hails from the soccer crazed country of Brazil.

Seriously, it takes an entire day to pronounce this cat’s full name. No wonder why he just wants to be called Kaka.

This Brazilian midfielder can really play.

Kaka once starred for Brazil’s national team as well as in Italy’s pro league, Spain’s La Liga and the European Champions League.

MIKE on sports, sports humor, American sports culture, fun sports facts, Major League Soccer, sports history, sports stuff you should know

There are two schools of thought on this topic.

Some fans love unwritten rules.

They revere them as time honored traditions that compliment the black and white regulations permanently etched in rule books.

Other sports fans like me revile them. We dismiss them as quirky superstitions and loosely interpreted gentlemen’s agreements.

Sure, breaking them is not illegal. But, unreasonable zealots claim that any unwritten rule transgression is highly unethical & totally appalling.

However, a legitimate argument can be made that if unwritten rules are so important to be followed, then they should be written down.

In indelible ink!

MIKE on sports, sports humor, American sports culture, fun sports facts, sports history, sports stuff you should know