Mind Your Mind - Joseph Tropper

Summary:

3 Key Points:

Summary:

Trauma, unfortunately, is an experience had by most. Each of us have traumatic events that have happened either in childhood or in our adult life that form or shape part of who we are. The key is to not let our traumatic experiences and feelings dictate the rest of our lives. Tune in to hear how the treatment for trauma is NOT one-size-fits-all and how talk therapy can even present negative consequences for your overall healing and treatment. In this episode, Joseph shares four steps that can help you recover from your trauma and explains how your healing only begins with a willingness on your behalf.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

• 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
• 00:22 – Trauma Part 2 – Recovery
• 01:00 – “Trauma is a fact of life … but it doesn’t have to be a life sentence” – Dr. Peter Levine
• 01:08 – We all have experienced trauma
• 01:34 – There is so much help that can be given to you and there’s so much that you can do about how you feel
• 02:31 – Selecting a therapist and modality

o02:47 – A lot of therapists don’t have specialized training in trauma

o03:42 – Oftentimes, recounting trauma can retraumatize you

o04:13 – EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a method Joseph suggests

o05:09 – Talk therapy makes trauma worse

o05:35 –TraumaHealing.orghas a tremendous amount of information on Dr. Levine’s form of treatment

o05:44 –Sensorimotor Psychotherapyby Dr. Pat Ogden, is another modality Joseph recommends

o06:27 – Yoga is very effective in treating trauma

• 06:41 – Stabilization

o06:58 – Rushing your healing and progress will backfire

o07:04 – Going at a slow pace is the fastest and best way to treat trauma

• 07:10 – The work

o07:29 – “Hysterical is historical”

o07:41 – Whenever you decide to do the work, be willing to do it

• 08:13 – Healing and repair

o08:17 – So many things will change as you take your life back

o08:37 – Healing and repair puts you in touch with your resources

• 08:41 – Again: “Trauma is a fact of life, but it doesn’t have to be a life sentence”
• 08:56 – 4 Books that Joseph wants to share with you:

oThe Body Keeps the Score

oWaking the Tiger

oIn an Unspoken Voice

oSensorimotor Psychotherapy

• 10:48 – Visit us onMind Your Mind

3 Key Points:

1. Choose a method of healing that will suit who you are and what you need.
2. Heal at your own pace – the worst thing you can do for yourself is to rush things.
3. Be willing to do the work; it all begins with you.

Resources Mentioned:

• TraumaHealing.org– Website about trauma healing with information from Dr. Levine
• Sensorimotor Psychotherapy– Dr. Pat Ogden’s website aboMind_Your_Mind_Ep_018ut how sensorimotor psychotherapy can help with trauma
• The Body Keeps the Score,Waking the Tiger,In an Unspoken Voice,andSensorimotor Psychotherapy– 4 books that Joseph recommends

Summary:

In this episode, Joseph opens the first installment for the 2-Part Series for Trauma. Joseph defines trauma, discusses the importance of conceptualizing what it is to us, and expresses just how common it is to experience trauma. He refers to the work of Dr. Peter Levine, an expert in the field of trauma, to describe the symptoms one may experience if one has experienced trauma. Tune-in to see if you can relate to having any of these symptoms and how acknowledging your own trauma is the best way to face it head-on to get the help you need.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

• 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
• 00:23 – Today’s episode is the first installment of the 2-Part Series for trauma
• 00:41 – Trauma is a word that is very stigmatized
• 01:22 – Disclaimer: trauma work can be a real trigger for people
• 02:08 – 1.9 out of 2 people experience trauma
• 02:11 – Trauma can be described as so many things
• 02:20 – It could be a feeling of overwhelm mixed with a feeling of helplessness
• 03:04 – It’s important to conceptualize what trauma is
• 04:05 – Trauma is something happens to ALL people
• 05:03 – Dr. Peter Levine's symptoms that one has experienced trauma:

o05:18 – Hypervigilance

o05:28 – Intrusive Imagery/flashbacks

o05:48 – Extreme sensitivity to lights and sounds

o05:56 – Hyperactivity

o06:00 – Exaggerated emotional and startle responses

o06:20 – Shame and lack of self-worth

o06:48 – Reduced ability to deal with stress

o06:58 – Difficulty sleeping

• 07:17 –Waking the Tigeris Dr. Levine’s book on trauma
• 07:41 – Disassociation is also a symptom of trauma
• 08:06 – When it comes to trauma, be honest with yourself
• 09:13 – Next week’s episode will be about ways to deal with your feelings and experiences with trauma
• 09:37 – Please leave us a comment onMind Your Mindand a review oniTunes

3 Key Points:

1. Almost everyone will experience trauma in their lives.
2. Conceptualizing trauma is important for yourself.
3. You have to be honest with yourself, especially when it comes to asking and receiving help.

Resources Mentioned:

• Dr. Peter Levine – An expert in trauma
• Waking the Tiger– Dr. Levine’s book on trauma that Joseph recommends

In this episode, Joseph teaches usDr. Bernie Siegel’s 4 Self-Healing Lessons. Not everyone would agree that mind and body connection is considered a mental health topic, but it truly is. The state of your mind and what you believe often precedes what your body will do. This is precisely why healing begins in the mind. Tune-in as Joseph discusses Dr. Bernie’s self-healing lessons and the RIGHT way healthcare givers can advocate and encourage their patients in their healing process.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

• 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
• 00:23 – Today’s episode is 4 Self-Healing Lessons byDr. Bernie Siegel
• 01:05 – “We all know that there’s a mind and body connection”
• 01:51 –Dr. Bernie Siegelwas born in New York

o02:03 – He retired from his practice in 1989 and since then, he’s talked to patients and caregivers about mental health

o02:20 – In 1978, he originated what he called the Exceptional Cancer Patients, which he still runs in part

o03:01 – One of his famous books isLove, Medicine & Miracles

o03:14 – His big complaint is that “as doctors, we are not trained to communicate and understand the power of our words as they relate to a patient’s ability and desire to survive”

• 03:36 – Majority of medical school students when asked to draw a picture of where they see themselves in 5 years produce a picture focused on thier own prestige instead of client interaction and care.
• 04:24 – It’s true that doctors must have boundaries
• 04:42 – The distance doctors create with their patients most often lead to poor medical care
• 05:00 – Here are the 4 Self-Healing Lessons byDr. Bernie Siegel:

o05:03 – 1) Our desire to live brings life

o05:53 – 2) Pay attention to dreams and art

o06:42 – 3) Love is healing

o07:15 – 4) Our inner strength and knowledge are vital

• 09:23 – Whenever Joseph works with his clients, he lets his clients know that he believes in them
• 09:49 – When you believe and advocate for yourself, you’re on the path to better health
• 09:56 – Check out Dr. Siegel’swebsite
• 10:25 – Experience has shown all of us that the mind and body connection is real
• 10:44 – Please leave us a comment onMind Your Mindand a review oniTunes

3 Key Points:

1. Doctors need to learn how to communicate with their patients WITHOUT the barriers of superiority.
2. As caregivers and doctors—SHOW that you believe in your patients and that you care about their health.
3. What your mind believes, your body follows.

Resources Mentioned:

• Dr. Bernie Siegel– Doctor that created the 4 Self-Healing Lessons
• Exceptional Cancer Patients– Group that Dr. Bernie formed for cancer patients
• Love, Medicine & Miracles– Dr. Bernie’s book that Joseph recommends

Summary:

In this episode, Joseph talks about trip planning. Trips are highly anticipated events in our lives. They bring promise of adventure, exploration, or just rest and relaxation. What people often forget though are the stress and hassles that come along with a trip. These can include entering a new culture and language, different people’s travel styles and/or expectations of the trip itself, and family or individual needs while traveling. Listen as Joseph lists ways you can cut down these potential stressors in order to have that vacation you’ve hoped for.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

• 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
• 00:23 – Today’s episode is the trip planning session
• 00:31 – “A lot of people run into problems when they travel”
• 00:40 – Couples and families have these issues
• 00:52 – Frustration comes from different agendas each person may have
• 01:31 – You can get this episode’s printout atMind Your Mind
• 01:52 – “To travel is to take a journey into yourself” – Danny Kaye
• 03:18 – Write down your plans

o03:25 – Go easy on the travel days

• 03:55 – Identify triggers

o04:00 – Money

o04:06 – Work and other stress

o04:10 – Travel styles

o04:25 – Vacation ideals

o04:41 – Being outside your norm

o04:50 – Interacting with others

o05:00 – Kids and family needs

• 05:12 – Expectations

o05:24 – Set 3 goals you want to accomplish

o05:40 – Write down your 3 fears

o05:57 – Write the best and worst case scenarios

• 06:28 – Dividing your time

o06:42 – Keep travel days light

o07:00 – Plan the days in between with others

o07:17 – Talk about your basic priorities

• 07:48 – Troubleshoot how you can get back on track

o08:11 – Have a Reset Truce

• 08:49 – Plan ahead of time; at the same time, you don’t have to map everything out
• 09:26 – Please leave us a comment onMind Your Mindand a review oniTunes
• 09:44 – End of this week’s podcast!

3 Key Points:

1. Planning your trip ahead of time will save you from a lot of stress and unexpected hassles.
2. Identify the triggers of your trip so you can mentally (and physically) prepare for these potential stressors.
3. Communication is of utmost importance when planning a trip, so be open to taking suggestions.

Summary:

In this episode, Joseph ends the hypnosis series with 3 hypnosis superscripts, including one that helps cure a headache. Joseph invites you to participate in these exercises so that you can experience deep relaxation and rest. These superscripts will encourage you to clear your mind and expel any negative energy and stressors—bringing you to a whole new place of peace and relaxation.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

• 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
• 00:26 – Today’s episode is Part 2 of the hypnosis series – 3 Hypnosis Superscripts
• 00:49 – Joseph encourages you to be in a quiet place to participate in the exercise
• 01:46 – Don’t operate any heavy machinery during the session
• 02:10 – Let your brain and body relax
• 02:30 – First superscript – Imagine yourself standing on top of a staircase

o02:42 – There are 10 steps leading down and as you walk down, you notice these sensations in your body

o03:09 – As you continue to walk down, you go into a deep sleep, feeling relaxation and comfort

o03:17 – At zero, you will be in a deep sleep

o03:27 – Joseph counts down 10-1

o03:40 – Deep sleep and relaxation

o03:49 – There’s a light coming from the door

o03:59 – You find yourself in a place of escape

o04:12 – Sit down and notice all of your senses

o04:34 – Exercise 1 is just deep relaxation

o04:37 – Take 3 deep breaths, expelling negative energy and stress

o05:25 – Take the feeling and anchor it

o05:37 – Come up with an anchor word that describes how you’re feeling right now

o05:53 – Think of a person, place or thing that will be your anchor

o06:07 – Your anchor word will be your post-hypnotic suggestion that will make you feel relaxed and comfortable

• 06:33 – Headache Cure

o06:43 – Imagine a dial from 1-10

o06:54 – Imagine you put your hand on the dial going down while you feel your pain subsiding

o07:17 – Deep sleep and relaxation

o07:21 – Use your right hand to massage your left shoulder and say, “It’s okay, it’s not my responsibility”

o07:48 – Use your left arm and rub away the tension on your right hand

• 08:10 – Family of Origin

o08:14 – Close your eyes and relax – ask yourself to consider the feelings and thoughts of your childhood

o08:31 – Think of how it impacts you today

o08:44 – Count from 3-0 and go into a deep sleep and relaxation

o08:55 – Imagine yourself standing in the doorway, seeing the steps going up

o09:01 – As you walk up, your body grows more awake

o09:15 – Joseph counts 1 to 10

o09:36 – Eyes open and wide awake

• 09:45 – Please leave us a comment onMind Your Mindand leave a review oniTunes
• 09:55 – End of this week’s podcast!

3 Key Points:

1. An anchor word that describes how you feel at the end of a meditative exercise can help bring you back to that place of peace and relaxation.
2. Superscripts for hypnosis guide you into a calmer state of body and mind.
3. When participating in these series, try to find a quiet place and allow your mind and thoughts to relax and guide you.

Summary:

In this episode, Joseph teaches us about hypnosis and dispels the myths around its practice. What is hypnosis? Does it work? If I get hypnotized, am I still in control? Listen to find out the origins of hypnosis and how hypnotherapy can help those who struggle with smoking, alcoholism and phobias to name a few. Joseph also discusses the myths of hypnosis including whether or not you can control someone in a state of hypnosis and if one can get “stuck” in hypnosis.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

• 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
• 00:31 – Today’s topic: Hypnosis Part 1
• 00:35 – Send your questions toMind Your Mind
• 00:46 – This will be the introduction on hypnosis
• 01:05 – Part 2 will provide a demonstration of three Hypnosis Superscripts
• 01:30 – Hypnotherapy has been around for hundreds of years
• 01:37 –Dr. Franz Mesmermade hypnosis famous

o01:51 – In his time, hypnosis was called animal magnetism

o02:09 – He mastered this art and passed on his own development of hynosis

• 02:28 – Many psychologists use hypnotherapy andDr. Sigmund Freudwas one who slowed down the growth of hypnotherapy
• 03:19 – Hypnotherapy has been revitalized and used to effectively help clients with smoking, drug, alcoholism, fears, and phobias
• 04:08 – “You could use hypnosis not as a cure, but a means of establishing a favorable climate in which to learn” – Milton H. Erickson
• 04:27 – 4 Myths of Hypnotherapy

o04:28 – #1 It doesn’t work

o05:57 – #2 It works miracles

o �� 06:19 – #3 You can control someone else

o07:14 – #4 You can get stuck in hypnosis

• 08:03 – If you decide to go under hypnosis, always check the person’s credentials first
• 08:14 – End of this week’s podcast!

3 Key Points:

1. Hypnosis is only effective when the one being hypnotized chooses to participate.
2. Hypnosis cannot work miracles; but, it can create a more favorable climate to bring out that which is inside of you.
3. One word of caution—check the credentials of the one that is hypnotizing you.

Resources Mentioned:

• Dr. Franz Mesmer– the person who made hypnosis famous
• Dr. Sigmund Freud– the person who made hypnotherapy growth slow

Summary:

In this episode, Joseph gives us 5 ways to financial sanity. Our everyday lives are riddled with expenses—some planned, some not. So, it’s no surprise that one can easily find oneself in a hole of debt without much recollection of how one ended up there. This needs to change. The average American has $18K in debt, and living in a state of financial strain can directly affect our state of mind. Listen as Joseph encourages us to take control and responsibility over our finances and offers some practical tips and advice that will help us work toward living a debt-free life.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

• 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
• 00:26 – Today’s topic: 5 Ways to Financial Sanity
• 00:57 – Difficulties in finances lead us to depression and anxiety
• 01:32 – The average American has $18K in debt
• 01:53 – A $10K debt can double your chance for divorce
• 02:12 – This segment is in response to Chris’s question – send your question or comment toMind Your Mind

○02:36 –Joe, I can’t seem to get on top of my finances. Perhaps this is the wrong place to ask for help, but can you give me some tips?

○02:44 – This is actually the right place to get help

• 02:52 – Getting out of debt is 80% behavior and 20% knowledge—you know what you need to be doing, but your habits keep you down
• 03:40 – Speak to a financial adviser
• 04:08 – Joe’s favorite quote regarding money: “A budget is telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went” – Dave Ramsey
• 04:32 – #1: Take responsibility

○05:27 – Change your mindset in thinking that this is outside of your control and that you’re a “slave” to your debt

• 05:51 – #2: Get on a budget

○06:32 – Get Dave Ramsey’s app,EveryDollarand track your money

○06:50 – Read Dave Ramsey’sThe Total Money Makeover

○07:23 –Financial Peace University

• 07:36 – #3: Start a Debt Snowball

○07:56 – Write down all the debt that you have, listing them in smallest to largest order. Pay off the smallest debt first and then knock the rest down in order

• 08:34 – #4: Reach out for accountability or help
• 09:26 – #5: Celebrate your successes and set clear goals

○09:33 – As you start getting out of debt, you’re going to love the freedom that living debt-free gives you

• 10:14 – Live with freedom; debt holds us down, but it does NOT have to
• 10:28 – When you make that commitment to work on getting debt-free, amazing things can happen for your life
• 10:45 – Thank you for listening!
• 11:08 – Please leave us a review oniTunes,share us with a friend, and let us know if you’ve made a change for the better with your finances after tuning in!
• 11:14 – End of this week’s podcast!

3 Key Points:

1. Life happens and it’s very normal to get stuck in debt, BUT it’s your choice to STAY there.
2. Living debt-free can give you a new sense of freedom over your life and finances.
3. Get accountability if you need some extra help and guidance – don’t be afraid to reach out to others for support.

Resources Mentioned:

• EveryDollar– Dave Ramsey’s money tracker app.
• The Total Money Makeover– Book that Joseph recommends to read.
• Financial Peace University– Dave Ramsey’s course that Joseph recommends to enroll to.

Summary:

Self-esteem and self-love is an undeniable, human need. How well we perceive and much we value ourselves affects all aspects of our lives, including our mental health. A low self-esteem can result in depression, anxiety, and essentially get in the way of us living our lives. So how do we “work on” our self-esteem? In this episode, Joseph lists 5 Tips for Loving Yourself. If we can learn to appreciate and accept who we are—our values and what we have to offer—this can pave the way to a positive self-esteem and a healthier life.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

• 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
• 00:26 – Today’s topic: 5 Tips for Loving Yourself
• 00:51 – At the core of mental health concerns is a lack of self-esteem
• 01:32 – We all need self-esteem and self-love
• 02:01 – People with anxiety or depression often have low self-esteem
• 02:14 – Learn how to love yourself
• 02:25 – Dr. Glenn Schiraldi’s book,The Self-Esteem Workbookis worth checking out
• 03:01 – "Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on." – Maxwell Maltz
• 03:11 – Low self esteem gets in your way
• 03:29 – This episode is in response to Jenny from Maryland,“How do I work on my self-esteem? I just seem to constantly get pushed down at work and home and can’t keep my head up above water”
• 04:22 – We have to be realistic, we have to know who we are
• 04:49 – The 5 Tips for Loving Yourself:

o04:51 – Define your role model

o05:50 – Appreciate both your outer and inner world

o06:49 – Respect yourself and others

o07:18 – Think about your values

o08:08 – Polish your acceptance; work on accepting yourself

• 08:58 – You can download this list and other materials atMind Your Mind
• 09:15 – Self-esteem is something that could impact your life
• 09:19 – “When we have a better understanding of our identity, we accomplish more and we feel better about what we’re doing”
• 09:34 – Please leave us a review oniTunes
• 09:44 – End of this week’s podcast!

3 Key Points:

1. Our self-esteem has a direct impact on our mental health—therefore, it’s worth working on.
2. We need to learn how to love ourselves: this includes respecting, understanding, and accepting who we are.
3. Appreciate who you are and what you have to offer—this is the starting point of a healthier you.

Resources Mentioned:

• The Self Esteem Workbook– Book that Joseph recommends to read for self esteem and self love.

Summary:

In Episode 010, Joseph explains to us the 4 disasters of relationships and the 7 master skills to overcome them based on the work of Dr. John Gottman, an expert in the field of marriage research. Challenges in marriage and relationships are a given and can easily overwhelm us, especially if we’re left without some practical help and advice. We can all relate to feelings of contempt and times when we’ve been critical of our partners—2 of the 4 disasters that can really hurt a relationship. The good news is that we CAN change the course of our relationships. Tune in to find out Dr. Gottman’s 7 master skills that will overcome the 4 disasters and in turn, improve our marriages and relationships.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

• 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
• 00:25 – Today’s topic: 7 Relationship Master Skills to Overcome 4 Disasters
• 00:52 – Joseph will be referring to the works ofDr. John Gottman, an expert in marriage research
• 02:13 – “Friendship fuels the flames of romance, because it offers the best protection against feeling adversarial toward your spouse.” – John Gottman
• 02:34 – Understanding the 4 disasters and applying the 7 master skills will help your life and relationships
• 03:22 – The “Four Horsemen of Gottman’s Apocalypse” are criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling

○03:29 – Criticism is attacking your partner’s personality or character to prove them wrong

■03:46 – Criticism is the opposite of intimacy and closeness

○04:16 – Contempt is attacking your partner's sense of self and looking down on them

■04:45 – Contempt is sulfuric acid for love

■05:35 – This destroys relationships

■05:42 – Look at yourself because contempt is a contagious disease

○05:56 – Defensiveness is seeing yourself as the victim

○06:28 – Stonewalling is withdrawing from the relationship or conversation to avoid conflict

■06:43 – Stonewalling shows disapproval, distance, and disconnection

• 07:05 – The general solution is to take notice of these four disasters in your relationship
• 07:12 – Here are the 7 Solutions to counter criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling:

○07:19 – #1: Share clear hurts and requests – “When you insulted me in public, I felt very sad and alone. I want you to tell me you’ll make an effort not to insult me in public again”

○08:00 – #2 Use a soft startup, start from a place of unarguable truth, and listen generously

○08:28 – #3 Shift to appreciation

○08:42 – #4 Claim responsibility

○08:52 – #5 Rewrite your inner script

○09:08 – #6 Practice becoming non-defensive

○09:35 – #7 Help your partner reach their dreams

• 09:41 – Joseph shares Dr. Gottman’s story of how he tried to publish his marriage book

○10:00 – After several rejections, he ended up with one publishing executive who asked him to give him practical marriage advice in 30 seconds

○10:19 – Dr. Gottman said “Honor your wife’s dreams” and the executive walked out

○10:30 – A few days later he got the call saying he got the contract

○10:43 – Dr. Gottman found out later that the executive went straight home and had a meaningful conversation with his wife about her dreams—his advice made an impact

• 11:21 – We all enter relationships with the idea that we’re going to help each other; but when we really honor each other’s dreams, it can repair and change a relationship for the better
• 11:39 – Get rid of the 4 negative horsemen
• 12:06 – James says,“My spouse speaks to me with contempt and says that I do the same to her. How do I get her to stop saying this?”– Start looking at yourself and see where you get triggered. Be curious and ask how you can work on it.
• 13:22 – All 4 disasters destroy marriages
• 13:46 – Please don’t forget to rate us and leave us a review oniTunes!
• 13:53 – End of this week’s podcast!

3 Key Points:

1. The 4 disasters WILL destroy your marriage; so take notice of whether or not they are present in your relationship.
2. The solution is to start a conversation from a soft place with your unarguable truths—this sets you and your partner up for success.
3. Always look at yourself FIRST, before confronting your partner about how they treat you.

Resources Mentioned:

• Dr. John Gottman– An expert in relationships and marriage research
• Download PDF – A PDF summary of the 4 Disasters and 7 Masters Skills by Joseph Tropper