Book Review: The Things You See Only When You Slow Down by Haemin Sunim
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The Day I Realized I Was Living Like a Tourist in My Own Life
The things you see when slow down hit me like a truck on a random Tuesday morning. I was rushing to grab coffee when I saw this woman sitting on a bench, completely still, watching pigeons fight over a dropped croissant. She was actually watching them. Like, fully absorbed in this ridiculous bird drama.
And I thought, “When was the last time I watched anything without simultaneously doing three other things?”
That’s when Haemin Sunim’s “The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down” stopped being just another book on my nightstand and became my wake-up call. Because here’s the brutal truth: you’re living your life like you’re late for a flight that doesn’t exist.
person sitting peacefully on a bench, fully present and observing their surroundings
The Shocking Things You Miss When You’re Always “Productive”
Plot Twist: Your Kid Has Been Trying to Tell You Something Important for Weeks
My friend Carole discovered this the hard way. She was always half-listening while folding laundry, checking emails, or mentally planning dinner. Then one day, her 8-year-old son said something that stopped her cold:
“Mom, why do your eyes look at me but your brain looks somewhere else?”
Research shows that when we slow down, we become more present, but nobody warns you about the gut-punch realizations that come with it. Carole started what she calls “full-face listening” – turning her entire body toward her kids when they speak.
The result? Her son told her he’d been worried about a bully at school for two months. She’d been right there the whole time, but not really there.
The Emotional Detective Story You Never Knew You Were Living
Here’s something wild: Sunim’s approach reveals that your emotions are actually breadcrumbs leading to insights you’ve been ignoring.
Take my Sunday anxiety. For years, I thought I just “hated Sundays.” Turns out, I was dreading Monday because I was living for weekends – which meant I was basically wishing away five-sevenths of my life. Mind. Blown.
When you slow down enough to follow the emotional breadcrumbs:
The Surface Feeling
The Real Story Underneath
“I hate my commute”
I’ve been using busy-ness to avoid thinking about bigger life questions
“My partner never listens”
I interrupt them because I’m afraid of silence
“I can’t relax on vacation”
I’ve made being productive my entire identity
“Everyone else has it figured out”
I’m comparing my behind-the-scenes to everyone’s highlight reel
someone having a lightbulb moment while journaling here
The Technology Plot Twist Nobody Saw Coming
When Your Phone Becomes Your Mindfulness Teacher
Okay, this is where it gets interesting. The same device that’s been stealing your attention can actually help you reclaim it – but only if you’re sneaky about it.
The Apps That Actually Changed People’s Lives:
Insight Timer – Sarah from Portland set it to chime every 2 hours. Not for meditation, but to ask herself: “What am I not noticing right now?” Game changer.
Forest – Mike, a workaholic lawyer, uses it differently than intended. Instead of growing trees while working, he grows them during “thinking time” – those moments when he sits without agenda and lets his mind wander.
Moment (or Screen Time) – Lisa discovered she was checking her phone 147 times a day. Not because she needed to, but because she was avoiding tiny moments of boredom where creativity lives.
The Analog Magic Nobody Talks About:
A kitchen timer for single-tasking (revolutionary for chronic multitaskers)A small notebook for “thought catching” (those random insights that pop up when you’re not trying)A “charging station” in another room so your phone isn’t your bedside companionpeaceful workspace with journal, analog clock, and phone in a drawer
The Relationship Revelation That Changes Everything
The 73-Second Discovery That Saved My Marriage
My husband and I were having the same fight for the 847th time when I remembered something from Sunim’s book about presence. So instead of defending my position (again), I tried something radical: I shut up and listened.
Not just to his words, but to what was underneath them.
Turns out, when he said “you never ask about my day,” he wasn’t complaining about my conversation skills. He was saying “I feel invisible in my own house.”
The book’s wisdom about compassion and presence isn’t just about being nice – it’s about becoming a detective for what people actually need.
The Relationship Magic You’re Missing:
The moment someone’s face changes when they feel truly heardYour own capacity for patience when you’re not rushing to the next thingThe difference between fixing and witnessing (spoiler: people usually want the latter)How saying “tell me more” instead of giving advice transforms conversationsTom from Chicago put it perfectly: “I thought being a good husband meant solving my wife’s problems. Turns out, being a good husband means sitting in her problems with her.”
The Stress Secret That Blew My Mind
Why Your Anxiety Might Actually Be Your Superpower
Readers report significant stress reduction after applying Sunim’s principles, but here’s the plot twist: the goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety. It’s to get fluent in its language.
My therapist friend Elena shared something that made me rethink everything: “Anxiety is just excitement without breath.”
The Stress Translation Guide:
“I’m overwhelmed” often means “I’m doing things that don’t matter to avoid doing things that do”“I don’t have time” usually means “I haven’t decided what’s actually important”“I can’t relax” frequently translates to “I’ve forgotten how to be with myself”“Everyone needs me” might mean “I need to be needed because it feels like purpose”When my neighbor Dave started treating his Sunday night anxiety as information instead of an enemy, he discovered he was burnt out from saying yes to everything. Now he asks himself: “Is this a hell yes or a hell no?” Everything else is a no.
The Things You See Only When You Slow Down-someone looking relieved and enlightened after a realization here.
The Morning Ritual That Changed Everything (And Takes 12 Minutes)
The Magic Morning That Doesn’t Require Getting Up at 5 AM
The accessible format of Sunim’s book makes it perfect for real people with real morning chaos. Here’s the routine that transformed my day:
The 12-Minute Magic Morning:
Minutes 1-3: Read one tiny chapter while coffee brews (seriously, some are like 2 paragraphs)Minutes 4-8: Prepare ceremonial matcha mindfully – the ritual is the pointMinutes 9-12: Write down one thing I’m genuinely curious about todayThat matcha moment? It’s become non-negotiable. I use Mantra Matcha’s Super Premium Ceremonial Matcha – their Banana Cacao flavor tastes like a hug in a cup, and the antioxidants give me steady energy without the coffee jitters that make me feel like I’m vibrating out of my skin.
The superfood blends help me start the day nourished instead of caffeinated and anxious. Want to try your own morning magic ritual? Save 15% with this link – I earn a small commission that helps me keep writing honest stuff like this. Thanks for supporting real content!
The Universal Magic That Works for Skeptics Too
What Happens When Type-A Personalities Slow Down
Sunim’s timeless lessons work even if you think mindfulness is just expensive sitting. Here’s proof from the most unlikely converts:
Rachel, Investment Banker: “I thought slowing down would make me soft. Instead, it made me terrifyingly effective. I stopped wasting energy on things that didn’t move the needle.”
James, ER Doctor: “In a trauma bay, presence isn’t optional. This book taught me that presence is a skill I could use everywhere, not just when someone’s life depended on it.”
Maria, Single Mom of Three: “I don’t have time to meditate. But I do have time to breathe differently while doing dishes. Game changer.”
The Brutal Honesty Section (Because We’re All Adults Here)
What Nobody Tells You About Slowing Down
Some readers struggle with certain aspects, and I’m not going to sugarcoat this:
The Uncomfortable Truth About FOMO When you stop trying to do everything, you discover that most of what you thought was important… isn’t. This is simultaneously liberating and terrifying.
The Productivity Guilt Is Real Some advice might challenge your Type-A identity. I spent three weeks feeling guilty about enjoying my morning coffee instead of chugging it while answering emails.
The Relationship Casualties Some people in your life won’t know what to do with the slower, more present version of you. That’s their issue, not yours.
person looking contemplative but content, choosing peace over chaos
Your 30-Day Magic Discovery Challenge
The Practical Roadmap to Seeing What You’ve Been Missing
The key is building momentum without overwhelming yourself:
Week 1: The Noticing Bootcamp
Use Mindfulness Bell app for three random “what am I not seeing?” moments dailyChoose ONE daily activity to do like it’s the most important thing everDocument one surprising thing you notice each dayWeek 2: The Emotional Detective Week
Download Daylio to track patterns without judgmentWhen stress hits, ask: “What is this feeling trying to protect me from?”Practice the “tell me more” response instead of immediately problem-solvingWeek 3: The Connection Revolution
Put your phone in airplane mode during one conversation dailyUse Marco Polo for one meaningful exchange instead of quick textsTry “full-face listening” with someone important to youWeek 4: The Integration Magic
Combine everything into your personal rhythmUse Insight Timer for a 5-minute daily “what did I discover today?” sessionCelebrate the magic that’s appeared in your lifeThe Frequently Asked Questions (With Honest Answers)
Is this book religious?
The book references Buddhist concepts but works for skeptics too. Think of it as practical psychology with ancient wisdom backing.
Do I need meditation experience?
Zero experience needed – this is more about noticing than formal meditation. If you can pay attention to anything for 30 seconds, you’re qualified.
Is it suitable for busy people?
Designed specifically for people with no time. The chapters are shorter than your average Instagram scroll session.
Are the lessons actually practical?
Most insights work immediately – no life overhaul required. The magic is in tiny shifts, not dramatic changes.
Can it really help with anxiety?
Readers consistently report feeling calmer, but not because anxiety disappears. Because they learn to work with it instead of against it.
The Magic Is Waiting (But You Already Knew That)
The things you see when slow down aren’t just pretty moments or Instagram-worthy realizations. They’re the actual substance of being human – the connections, insights, and peace that make everything else worth doing.
Here’s your challenge: For the next 24 hours, notice one thing you usually miss while rushing. Just one. Then come back and tell us what magic you discovered.
What’s the most surprising thing you’ve noticed when you slowed down? Drop it in the comments – your insight might be the wake-up call someone else desperately needs.
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