Mindfulness at Work

About them:

Hot Flashes & Cool Topics Podcast is changing the narrative for women in midlife and beyond. The cultural lag needs to catch up to modern women over 50 who have more spending power, wisdom, and positive, energy to share with the world. Hot Flashes & Cool Topics features women over 50 that are single/married,  professional/entrepreneur/retired, empty nester/childfree but all have in common that they enjoy the freedoms that come with this time. We  cover every aspect of the modern midlife and showcase them as we are today and will continue to be tomorrow.http://hotflashescooltopics.com/

On this Mindfulness at Work episode, we talk to David Gandelman, who is a spiritual teacher, about meditation and how it changed his life. David teaches meditation to over 100,000 students on the Insight Timer App, at Cornell University, and at his studio in Los Angeles. He is also the founder of Meditation School where he helps people learn to calm down, ways to get more sleep, and helps them discover what they want to heal.

The reason people first explore meditation is to lower their anxiety by 20%. They do learn to turn off their anxiety and find inner peace but they also learn a lot more. This can be scary, so many people give up because when we first start meditating, the outer noise of our lives comes inside. People become uncomfortable but if we can forge through and continue practicing, we can eventually use it as a teaching tool for a deeper awareness of ourselves. David says, "Anxiety is the icing on the cake so it would be great to uncover what’s beneath it." Sticking to a meditation practice is the hardest part because it's unfamiliar. We all try to avoid any initial discomforts in our lives but in facing the discomfort we create growth and learning for a better way of living.

Meditation is energetic maintenance. It's as if we are cleaning our "inner pipes" when we acknowledge our deeper feelings. Those feelings turn into thoughts, which turn into beliefs that are exhibited in our behaviors. This is because our feelings ruminate in our heads, and we try to figure things out based on those feelings. Meditations break through those patterns that aren’t necessary and reset our energy.

We often look outward for validation in life and begin to believe things like money matters more, love matters less. When we turn those outer eyes inwards and look inside, we grow and see what really matters to us.

David has learned  4 steps that meditation helps:

1) Find it

2)Feel it

3)Face it

4)Heal it

And 5th- is to ask yourself, Now What?

He has learned that often our thoughts are using us instead of us using them. He uses meditation to figure out how he can remain the master of his thoughts.

David encourages working parents to meditate to clear energy, to be in the present moment, and to bring higher energy. They will then find the answers they seek. He believes parents automatically treat their kids the same way their parents treated them, even if it's damaging. Actually they should get to know their child’s 10,000 year-old wisdom soul. Kids want to be seen by their parents - He asks, "Can you see them for the spirit they are inside their body?"

He shares what his own parents think of him being on the Insight Timer App with David Brand and Elizabeth Gilbert. They were thrilled and very proud of him. They appreciate his entrepreneurial spirit. In fact, he teaches entrepreneurship meditation as well as, speed dating and relationship meditations. He believes there’s a way to find your balance and fulfillment through meditating in all areas of your life.

David Gandelman is also the co-host of the Energy Matters podcast, Grounded Sleep Podcast, and teaches meditation at Cornell University and NBC Studios. His meditations have been streamed for over 30 million minutes on the meditation app, Insight Timer. He connects energetic experience, ancient wisdom traditions, and humor, to create a safe atmosphere for people interested in learning to meditate, and developing their natural spiritual abilities. To reach him:

https://energymattersacademy.com

https://www.davidgandelman.com/

https://www.meditationschool.us/

In this episode, we continue our discussion about working moms and the emergent need for support. We think there are two critical components to get right when it comes to being a working parent; Communication and Expectations.

We lay out the importance of communicating with your partner, your boss, your co-workers, and your kids. Kacey asks listeners to, "Please ask for help-people love to give it to you, including your kids, but you have to make it evident what you are asking for".

Sometimes dads don't know the extent of everything we do. Good managers would rather know the truth of your situation because the well being of their employees matters. We know women are not being supported properly because of the burnout, anxiety, and overwhelm they are suffering. 

We further explore expectations and how to be intentional about them. We get busy concentrating on daily tasks and we forget what is most important to us. 

Corporations need to address working parents. The struggle is finally being recognized EVERYWHERE. We are all asking, "Why isn't anybody listening"? Companies can't go back to business as usual after the pandemic is over. Kacey says "We really need to take care of each other". We sure do and we share some simple ways to do so in the episode!! Kacey is a valued team member of Cara Pollard Coaching and we further help companies support their parent employees through our corporate programs.  For information please go to www.carapollardcoaching.com

To reach Kacey directly and for further info:-http://www.balancedheartcoaching.com/

Kacey Hartung is one of the valued team members of Cara Pollard Coaching. She is a working mom, manager, and life coach who brings a wealth of experience, knowledge, and expertise to this discussion.

Listen as we discuss the many trials and tribulations exhausted, working moms are facing. We discuss all of it and offer some suggestions for helping working moms-especially at this time. It all starts with communication and acknowledging how hard this is!

Kacey's created a quote card deck and one card is aptly named: The working mom SOS- Aka Save our Sanity! To order and find out more:

https://www.thegamecrafter.com/games/working-mom

Moms are worried about teaching their kids online while working from home. They worry about it all, even the seemingly small fact that their child didn’t learn to make the “L” properly in cursive and their kids will be behind.

We examine the definition of a good parent, success, and the impossible dream of having it all- at least at the same time.

Cara shares what she often tells her clients- “Failure is not an option, in terms of the relationship with your child "!

“What does success mean to you?” Kacey asks her clients. She continues, “What is success? Working 40 hours a week and being done might be your definition and that’s OK because your definition will change with every phase of raising your child.” Why? Because she says-

“It’s all a phase and only phase” it really isn’t forever but that’s easy to see in hindsight.

Some of Casey’s clients and employees have told her that they have to strive for that next gold ring but young moms may have to say to themselves that they must adjust their choices and if that includes striving for the next ring then they need to get more help! If not, they may have to go into a neutral state at work - a status quo zone  -and both choices are great!

Companies and parents have to adapt and adjust. We get tied up in rules and that everything should look orderly and remain stringent. We have to recognize rules will change and we will survive them- whatever they are -because we have to. That includes what school might look like in the Fall. We know one thing, it won’t look normal! So now we have to move forward and be flexible.

We hope to offer compassion, advice, and a little relief for working moms. We see you, we hear you, we applaud you!!! 

Please reach out with comments or suggestions. Please share and review this podcast.

To reach Kacey and for further info:-http://www.balancedheartcoaching.com/

Disclaimer: In this episode, we discuss times we have caused harm. We encourage you to seek real BIPOC educators and pay them for their expertise. We know we are not experts.

If you listen please know that as white women of privilege, having been on this journey for only a few years, we recognize our privilege and fragility. We discuss times we caused harm to BIPOC in actions and words. We are learning about racism and hope to share our journey as we educate ourselves about its centuries-long impacts.

Tia Fagan and Cara would like to expressly acknowledge that we are wholly unqualified to know the extent of the effects of racism. We are hoping to inspire our listeners, who would like to expand their knowledge and awareness to join us in anti-racist/anti -racism learning.

We discuss our experiences with defining racism, awareness of it, or lack thereof. We explore the reasons our words and actions can cause harm to people, what we thought we knew wasn't, and what we personally thought we knew, we didn't.

Tia is one of the esteemed team members on the Cara Pollard Coaching team & contributes to this discussion. Tia describes a recent intense stirring within her to share her expressions. She says, "This is active, messy work and I know I continue to do harm because I continue to do it imperfectly. There's still so much to learn.”

We discuss some of the following points:

Work we’ve done and resources we find helpful

What we learned

What surprised us

More work we intend to continue doing

How we think families can do work together to learn about racism

What we think companies should do for real Diversity and Inclusion practices

The policy changes needed in educational, financial, housing, and criminal justice systems

Why we think the police need deeper training and why reallocating funds is important 

For more information about Tia Fagan please visit TiaFagan.com .Tia specializes in supporting families navigate times of transition by guiding them through a 5-step parenting process, helping them SHIFT from surviving to thriving. Tia is a Certified Coach through Dr. Shefali's Conscious Coaching Institute as a Certified Coach Practitioner in the Conscious Parenting Coaching MethodTM and through the Jai Institute for Parenting. Tia practices living a life of consciousness, presence, and authenticity every day.

Kate Torgersen is the founder of Milk Stork, the first and only breast milk travel solution for working moms.  In this episode, we discuss the challenges working moms face going back to work just weeks after having a child or going back at 12 weeks, which is some arbitrary number, and in either case, means the baby is not eating solid foods yet. She wants to know why we don’t have federally regulated paid leave for parents. We also discuss the need for affordable, universal, federally supported child care. After the stay at home order it's obvious to us, that high quality child care, higher paid teachers and higher paid care givers is imperative to help level the playing field and support working parents in our corporate culture.

Kate also explains her personal reason for founding Milk Stork. After the birth of her twins, she needed and wanted to travel for work but it proved to be immensely difficult. She faced a dilemma, either travel for her job OR breast feed her babies.  There was no way to do both without compromising her career, her breast-milk production, or her well-being.  She thought, "I can't believe other women haven't experienced this or this problem hasn't been solved before".  Ascribing to the belief that necessity is the mother of invention, she further said to herself, “If not me, then who ? If not now, then when?". She felt compelled to figure out an answer and opened an operation that allows for all working moms to travel and breastfeed efficiently. Kate shares all this wisdom and more, in our rich discussion.

Born out of necessity since the stay at home order, she now offers products made with love by Moms, for Moms! Find them at The Mothershop™ https://www.milkstork.com/shop

NYT best selling author Eve Rodsky joins us at Mindfulness at Work to discuss her research on  gender equity and why, if we wish to attain it in the workplace, we have to start in our homes. Her mantra, "Having it all, doesn't mean doing it all" is a new way for all women to manage their day to day lives. She also she doesn't like the term equality . She says, " Whats fair isn't always equal and whats equal isn't always fair". She's developed a system to  attaining more equity in your home so that we don't become side tracked as women with invisible tasks, nagging ,and having to get divorced to have a 50% 50% partnership. Listen to this episode for some validating, research based, amazing ideas for ways to have a thriving, loving, family life, and partnership that feels fair to you. 

In this episode we talk with Christy Keating about how to keep your children safe while Pandemic life requires they be online for school & socializing. Christy is one of the esteemed team members on the Cara Pollard Coaching team & brings her expertise to this discussion. From her perspective as a parent coach and CEO of Savvy Parents, Safe Kids, Christy talks with us about how to practice good digital citizenship; how boredom sparks creativity; and how parents can honor their own grieving process during this unprecedented time.

Carlota contributes her thoughts on life as it  is currently happening in her hometown of Madrid, Spain. She reaches out to us in an effort to encourage the U.S. to take the necessary precautions that Spain took, but, from her perspective, the country adopted them too late.  Needless loss & suffering have resulted and there is still time to go before the country will see improvement.  

WE ARE HONORED TO HAVE HAD THE CHANCE TO SPEAK WITH JENNIE WILLOUGHBY WHO WRITES AND SPEAKS ON MINDFULNESS AND THE RESILIENCE OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT. Jennie’s platform gained widespread attention in 2018 when her description of the abuse she suffered at the hands of her ex-husband, former Trump White House Staff Secretary, Rob Porter,  launched a national scandal and he was removed from the White House. More recently, she has been opening the conversation around earned redemption and life after #metoo and cancel culture. From the unique perspective of compassion and forgiveness, Jennie encourages and supports people in fostering a new dialogue to use with ourselves and others to foster empathy and connection. With degrees in Bio-Chemistry and Brain-Based teaching, Jennie uses her 13 years working in the classroom and her knowledge of neuroscience as the backbone of her work offering support in dealing with experiences of anxiety, anger, stress, and trauma. Jennie writes at www.thepullofgrace.com and is published in the Washington Post and Time magazine. Jennie has been featured on CNN's Anderson Cooper 360, NBC's The Today Show, MSNBC's The Last Word with Lawrence O'Donnell, Fox's Media Buzz with Howard Kurtz, WNYC’s United States of Anxiety, and NPR’s The Takeaway. Jennie also performs regularly as a vocalist on stage with The Inspired Word NYC. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter, & Instagram. Please note:There were a few times that the recording was interrupted due to breaks in internet connection.