Minds Never Matter: A Dungeons & Dragons Podcast

CW: This episode contains mentions of suicide, death, and restraint.

In our 29th session, the party finally make it to the center of a deadly cavern imbued with ancient magic. There, they finally find the cause of the nearby village's woes: a distorted myconid beast whose misguided empathy has manifested itself in a life form trying to protect a young girl's life after becoming lost deep in the wilderness. 

As the party fight back against the monster, Emilia and Cecily manage to create a mental connection with the creature to try and reason with it. Low on resources and short on time, our Not-Quite-Heroes have to think fast and give everything they have to triumph over the beast.

This adventure contains materials from Loot Tavern's Heliana's Guide to Monster Hunting. If you've been enjoying this adventure, check them out! Not sponsored––we just think they're really cool!

This week's halftime show features Session Zero Heroes:

"At Session Zero Heroes, we believe in the power of storytelling through tabletop roleplaying games and use a wide variety of systems to create these stories which we share through the podcast medium. From hilarious to emotional, our stories and themes come in all shapes and sizes and help us to create amazing series and one-shots for your listening pleasure!"

Session Zero Heroes

Looking for some shiny new math rocks to add to the hoard and want to support the show at the same time? Check out Crystal Maggie and get 10% off your entire order with our code: HILARITYSAVERPG

Crystal Maggie

Featuring...

Noah Bryan as your Dean of Magic

Anna Eliza as Violetta

Nick Tavanese as Sartheleon

Aaron Owens as Pogo

Taylor Murchie as Cecily

Gretter Naranjo-Leon as Calor

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In our 28th session, the party continues their delve into the depths of the magic-fueled cavern as they finally seem to have discovered the root cause of the plague afflicting the nearby village. 

Pit against grotesque, uncanny beasts that have been mutated by the same fungal magic that's taken hold of the surrounding area, our Not-Quite-Heroes are forced to face off against a deadlier threat than they ever could have imagined.

This adventure is based on material from Loot Tavern's Heliana's Guide to Monster Hunting. If you've been enjoying this adventure, check them out! Not sponsored––we just think they're really cool!

Looking for some shiny new math rocks to add to the hoard and want to support the show at the same time? Check out Crystal Maggie and get 10% off your entire order with our code: HILARITYSAVERPG

Crystal Maggie

Featuring...

Noah Bryan as your Dean of Magic

Anna Eliza as Violetta

Nick Tavanese as Sartheleon

Aaron Owens as Pogo

Taylor Murchie as Cecily

Gretter Naranjo-Leon as Calor

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In our 27th session, colorful lights dance across the inner walls of a frozen temple as our party steps though only for them to be shrouded in darkness moments later, each step bringing them closer to what has been hurting the local village they've stumbled into while travelling to Starfall City.

This session is an actual dungeon crawl! Our Not-Quite-Heroes take on puzzles, a dash of combat, and a ton of ice as they travel through what may become their final resting place like many before them.

This week's Halftime Show features 5 GM's in a Trenchcoat -- a multi-award winning TTRPG podcast with rotating GMs taking on different systems each season.

Looking for some shiny new math rocks to add to the hoard and want to support the show at the same time? Check out Crystal Maggie and get 10% off your entire order with our affiliate code: HILARITYSAVERPG

Pick Up New Dice Here!

Featuring...

Noah Bryan as your Dean of Magic

Anna Eliza as Violetta

Nick Tavanese as Sartheleon

Aaron Owens as Pogo

Taylor Murchie as Cecily

Gretter Naranjo-Leon as Calor

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As a petrifying cry rings out in the night, the party find their investigation interrupted to protect the townspeople from a strange creature that seems to be targeting the village's only surviving child. 

As they make their final preparations to find the source of the strange, fungal illness that has plagued the area, the Not-Quite-Heroes begin to come to grim realizations regarding their social statuses, abilities, and – perhaps most interestingly – their interpersonal relationships. 

When impulse and feeling begin to cloud one's survival instincts, can the party set aside their differences to thwart their greatest threat yet?

This week's Halftime Show features Portal Quandry!

Check out Portal Quandry

Loot Tavern's Heliana's Guide to Monster Hunting is what this mission is based off of, so if you are enjoying these episodes, please go check them out! Not sponsored––we just think they're really cool!

Looking for some shiny new math rocks to add to the hoard and want to support the show at the same time? Check out Crystal Maggie and get 10% off your entire order with our code: HILARITYSAVERPG

Crystal Maggie

Featuring...

Noah Bryan as your Dean of Magic

Anna Eliza as Violetta

Nick Tavanese as Sartheleon

Aaron Owens as Pogo

Taylor Murchie as Cecily

Gretter Naranjo-Leon as Calor

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In our 25th session, our Not-Quite-Heroes find themselves investigating a fungal issue in rural Glagus. As they try to investigate, the party get into a moral dispute in a tavern that not only opens wounds between Emilia and Cecily, but begins to make the villagers opinions of the party turn sour. 

Pogo and Cecily try to discover what could be the root of the mysterious illness that ravaged the village before the party arrived while Emilia and Sartheleon embark on their own quest which forces the two to question their honesty between one another, and for them to finally start facing the truth behind their complicated feelings. 

Can our misguided adventurers in training get past their own stubbornness to work together and save the village? Or, are they adding to the suffering the poor townsfolk have already endured?

Like us a little bit? Support the show by checking out Only Crits and get 10% off your entire order using our code: FLAYEDBRAIN

Check out our friend Earth Former Games and their recent Kickstarter to fund their upcoming D&D supplement Folkor's Fabulous Friends featuring six new subclasses and magic items compatible with 5th Edition & 2024 ruleset.

Folkor's Fabulous Friends

Featuring...

Noah Bryan as your Dean of Magic

Anna Eliza as Violetta

Nick Tavanese as Sartheleon

Aaron Owens as Pogo

Taylor Murchie as Cecily

Gretter Naranjo-Leon as Calor

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, we reunite with our oddball party as they face off against an omnipotent being that holds the secret to everlasting peace. The stage is set, and as a corrupted chord begins to strike, our party must act quickly to secure the legendary artifact from their God-like foe.

This two-part adventure was made possible thanks to Todd at @earth_former_games, who not only ran this adventure but also designed the subclasses used by the party.

Each of the subclasses featured in The Song of Creation are part of "Folkor's Fabulous Friends", a brand-new supplement compatible with D&D 5th Edition and the 2024 ruleset.

Support Folkor's Fabulous Friends & Earth Former Games!

Folkor's Fabulous Friends

Featuring...

Noah Bryan as your Dean of Magic

Anna Eliza as Violetta

Nick Tavanese as Sartheleon

Aaron Owens as Pogo

Taylor Murchie as Cecily

Gretter Naranjo-Leon as Calor

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, we join four offbeat adventurers as they go on what very well could be their final quest -- a journey to discover the fated Song of Creation, an artifact that could, in theory, rewrite the very fabric of existence.

This two-part adventure was made possible thanks to Todd at @earth_former_games, who not only ran this adventure but also designed the subclasses used by the party.

Each of the subclasses featured in The Song of Creation are part of "Folkor's Fabulous Friends", a brand-new supplement compatible with D&D 5th Edition and the 2024 ruleset.

Sign up to know when the Folkor's Fabulous Friends Kickstarter campaign launches!

Folkor's Fabulous Friends

Featuring...

Noah Bryan as your Dean of Magic

Anna Eliza as Violetta

Nick Tavanese as Sartheleon

Aaron Owens as Pogo

Taylor Murchie as Cecily

Gretter Naranjo-Leon as Calor

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In our 24th session, the party finally make it to Glagus! Surrounded by more snow and frost than they know what to do with, our Not-Quite-Heroes have to figure out the best mode of transportation to make it to Starfall City in order to see Pogo's family. As they deliberate on the optimal wagon to take them on their way, they make friends with their new (sort-of) equestrian companions that will be joining them on their journey.

But, as always, not all is as it seems as they find themselves in a fishy situation in the middle of Glagus' overwhelming tundra. Then, they wander into yet another strange, isolated village in the middle of nowhere...

This week's Halftime Show features Fantasy Pants - An Actual Play RPG Podcast

Check out Fantasy Pants!

Looking for some shiny new math rocks to add to the hoard and want to support the show at the same time? Check out Crystal Maggie and get 10% off your entire order with our code: HILARITYSAVERPG

Crystal Maggie

This episode contains content created by Loot Tavern. Not sponsored––we just think they're really cool!

Featuring...

Noah Bryan as your Dean of Magic

Anna Eliza as Violetta

Nick Tavanese as Sartheleon

Aaron Owens as Pogo

Taylor Murchie as Cecily

Gretter Naranjo-Leon as Calor

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In our 23rd session, our Not-Quite-Heroes finally make their way back to class––but not for long! Thanks to Sartheleon and Cecily's hijinks in Juno's office, the headmaster has grown suspicious of the group's activities and call them in for a disastrous interrogation.

This week's Halftime Show features Dicescape and What's Your Damage.

Dicescape

What's Your Damage

Featuring...

Noah Bryan as your Dean of Magic

Anna Eliza as Violetta

Nick Tavanese as Sartheleon

Aaron Owens as Pogo

Taylor Murchie as Cecily

Gretter Naranjo-Leon as Calor

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In our 22nd session, Cecily and Sartheleon finally break into Juno Everheart's office to try and uncover any dirt they can on the Adventuring College of Elona's Dean. Of course, the pair pay a visit to their dear friend at the alchemy club before heading out. 

Meanwhile, Pogo continues his own research in the school library to try and discover more information about the Elonian elites (more specifically, if Juno is secretly Cecily's mom) as he and Emilia begin planning their trip to Glagus, and Emilia has a heart-to-heart with Frederic about her new Warlock pact, and about the late Violetta who is haunting the couple's troubled engagement.

This week's Halftime Show features SketchyRolls, a D&D actual play podcast telling spooky stories in the world of Moonwylder with a rolling cast of creative friends and Flip Of Fate, A Loosely Dungeons and Dragons Podcast!

Sketchy Rolls

Flip of Fate

Featuring...

Noah Bryan as your Dean of Magic

Anna Eliza as Violetta

Nick Tavanese as Sartheleon

Aaron Owens as Pogo

Taylor Murchie as Cecily

Gretter Naranjo-Leon as Calor

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.