Monika and Jan Zands focus on creating new perspectives to create the results you are seeking. How can we be happier?

Have you been feeling that you have to do it all by yourself? You are not alone. You are not alone in any of the four different realms: Physical, Emotional, Mental or Spiritual.

Jan exposes how there are two ways of starting to consider that you are not alone:

1. Connecting the parts inside. Various aspects of your personality that show up in different moments and contexts. 2. How do you serve you? Connect to the part of you to get in touch with the inner you that chooses the life you are living. 3. Listen to one of the participants sharing an experience of trying to "save" and "fix" one of her nephews from making poor choices and instead understanding that he needs to live his own experiences, and what those experiences will mean in his own life; her intervention being only to give unconditional love: JUST LOVE. 4. Another participant shares the pain he feels from the rejection of his mother who does not accept the fact he is gay and is in an interracial relationship. Love, compassion and acceptance, will help him go through the difficult moment of welcoming his partner into his home town. 5. Sometimes we create the illusion that in the future, things will happen as we project they will, shaped by our previous experiences, when in reality these events have not taken place yet. 6. Pause and breath, connect to the part of you that is giving you company and support. 7. New perspectives create new results and new realities!

Ask your self: ⦁ Do you often feel you have to do it all by yourself? ⦁ Can you identify the various aspects of your personality that take the center of the scene in different contexts? ⦁ How do you serve you? ⦁ Are you giving unconditional love? (Towards yourself and others)

Key Insights and Ahas: Your story is specific to you but at the same time is a Universal Story! You are not alone!

Replace judgement and self-criticism with gratefulness and love.

Monika and Jan Zands talk about connecting with love and creating a loving context. In this context, which is your personal "loving bubble," you can love yourself and each other. The more love we can share and produce, the more we can live with others by bonding through loving connections. Loving the moment and loving the journey, loving every moment along the way. We often take for granted our blessings; if we could connect to what we have, we would enjoy more and be grateful. Monika explains the concept of "spiritual bypass," with the difference between denial of our negative thoughts to making a real shift in our perspective. Don't skip the voices in your head, because there is where healing is possible. Try to exercise the connection with what is real now, the abilities, people, things, and moments you can enjoy at this very moment, without criticism and self-deprivation; this negativity is not a vehicle to make us closer to our goals, it just fills this moment with negativity about ourselves and our moment. Exercise with Jan and Monika: Direction: Imagine something that you're not really looking forward to but know will take place in the following day/week.

Strategies to connect to loving: 1. Take a good look at the structure of the situation; 2. Connect with the upset; when there is upset is an opportunity to heal; 3. Think about how do you reacted to this sort of situation before; 4. How are you really feeling about this? 5. Feel compassion for yourself, be the best version of yourself; 6. Search if you have a "Future fantasy" about how everything will turn out; you can be unexpectedly surprised, and the result could be totally different from your anticipated failure. 7. How is this an opportunity to learn how to better love yourself?   Consider/Ask Yourself: How do we shift the way we experience our reality? How do we go from self-criticism to gratefulness? How quickly are you unreasonable with the expectations you set up to yourself? Key Insights and Ahas:

The external circumstances often don't change; how we relate to them can make all the difference.

Lesson of the episode: Following a Love Manifesto to Amplify Love.

Monika and Jan Zands have the purpose of spreading love in this planet. During this month they have been talking about love. They invite you to think along with them on how are you spreading love in the world. Which are the ways you are actually spreading love?

What stops loving is the way we have to judge the way we are going to spread it. Love comes from who you think you are for others. This is your important way of being in the planet in relationship to others.

Love is from within. The judgement of whether one is good enough or not opens the door and we enter the world of assumptions and expectations.

Pure love is the condition of loving, and then there is a different love, the one that is looking for a sort of compensation for that loving, and this is when you can be disappointed or hurt,  when the outcome was not was expected.

If the condition to love on the planet is self-love then we are in trouble — since we do not always feel that we love ourselves — but still the ultimate goal is to spread love regardless! 

A Love Manifesto is written in this session, this is how it would look:

• ● The goal is Pure love, the unconditional love.
• ● Prayers or connection is needed to connect with love and to amplify love.
• ● Ignoring the non loving, disconnect from the negativity.
• ● Discipline and practice of loving (thoughts, relationships, yoga, meditation… any act that brings you inside to inner reflection).
• ● Our role is to amplify love by passing it along.
• ● Now is the moment when we need to love! Everyday you wake up and you acknowledge you are love, you exist in love, then you can amplify it.
• You don't need a reason to love, you just have to believe it and share it. Fear can be caused by unworthiness, "I can't be loving or be loved if I am not worthy." Being open and vulnerable is the way of loving. Dare to love and manifest your love!
• In This Episode You Will Learn: Consider/Ask Yourself:
• Which are the ways you are actually spreading love? What do you feel and think about this question?
• How do you help someone? how have you been helped?, and what helps you?
• Key Insights and Ahas:
• If the condition to love on the planet is self-love then we are in trouble!
• Pure love is unconditional love.
• Being open and vulnerable is the way of loving.

Lesson of the episode: Asking for help.

Jan and Monika introduced the topic for today´s session by stating how we often are trying to create things in our lives, and frequently feel that we have to do that all by ourselves, but somewhat, not asking for help creates a stigma of loneliness. We feel we need to prove we can do it alone, but on the contrary, the more vulnerability you allow yourself to show, the more connected to others you will feel.

What does it mean to love yourself? Being vulnerable and let yourself be seeing!

Opportunities are always showing, but we do not take them, since we think we are still not worth being loved. There are opportunities waiting to serve us everywhere!

Last week, Monika and Jan talked about "asking for help" people can contribute, to achieve your goals. Why people do not ask for help? Help has a negative connotation, for example: uselessness, weakness, helpless, stupid, open to criticism, people will think you should know how, feeling inferior, etc., etc. That is why we live in a society where people won't ask for help. When we were children it was ok to ask for help, but as adults we start to believe it is negative to get help, when in reality, we are constantly receiving help from every member of the community.

Whatever the thought you have when you are about to ask for help but stopped, this thought is probably stopping you in many areas — where is that thought coming from? When do you begin to shift the way you look at asking for help? What is your relationship with help?

What is the scenario that tells you that you are going to get the help you need? You are not alone,  you can ask for what you want, seek help, and receive the help you need!

You can receive by giving away! By sharing you find mastery. Sometimes we are scared about sharing, maybe considering that what we have to offer won't be appreciated or that we will be judged … in this painful situation, both parties are alone. We need courage to go over this barrier!

We perceive everything through our perspectives, seeing shapes, auras, heat, smells … but when we ask for help, it is a way to get connected with another's perspective, that could help us reach our own goal.

Exercise with Monika and Jan, and explore your perspective about help. What are the "shoulds," that come to your mind when you think about needing help? Explore your history with help, the ideals you try to achieve, the defenses and fears that are holding you back.

When you give to someone, they feel that they owe you, they are in debt, they feel that they need to reciprocate; when in reality, if the goal of the person that gives is giving, by receiving you are helping them to reach their purpose. Unluckily, our minds are not trained this way. When you are asking for help, you are giving that other one the chance to give/help, which is so wonderful!

Give, receive, help, get help; get out of your isolation and feel the love!

In This Episode You Will Learn to Consider/Ask Yourself:

What does it mean to love yourself?

Why people do not ask for help.

What is your relationship with help?

Key Insights and Ahas:

• ● There are negative beliefs about help.
• ● Society told us that being an adult means not needing help.
• ● Our perspectives expand when we show vulnerability and ask for help.
• ● When you know what you need, and ask for it, the universe will provide it.
• Action Steps:

1. 1. Why you don´t ask for help?
2. 2. What are the thoughts that prevent you to reach out for help?
3. 3. When did they start?
4. 4. Acknowledge the opportunities of exploring different perspectives by receiving help.

Lesson of the episode: Learn to love and be compassionate with yourself.

Monika and Jan Zands invite you to explore LOVE. Many times we focus on our surroundings, relationships, and things. If we cannot change the external things, we can change how we relate to these external factors, we can always change our mindset.

How to live in a context of love? We are made out of a number of things that create the container that we are, and this way we receive what comes from outside. The context of love is itself the definition of context.

What are we? How am I? What if I am not what I always thought I was? So who could I be? The best way to achieve your most joyful life has to do with a loving context.

Everyday the possibility of things going wrong is very likely but you have to learn how to navigate them. Not trying to change but being loving and compassionate relating to ourselves and to others, the human judgment tends to perceive things going wrong when they actually happen the way they "should."

Exercise with Monika and Jan:

FIRST: Close your eyes and think about something you are upset about that has happened to you this week.

SECOND: Listen to the opinions of the voice in your head about what happened.

THIRD:Think about the person that is maternal, kind and loving to you, now let that voice speak about the upset.

FOURTH: Now think about a pet, your loyal companion, unconditional love, and think what would that puppy intervene about what upset you?

This last voice is your authentic self. When we are babies we are just happy, everything is just love and acceptance. The voice in your head is only comparing you to something else, if you are not comparing you will be good enough.

Your senses lead you to perceive the world around you in a specific way, try to listen from your heart, not protecting yourself, but just feeling from your heart. There is a discovery by listening to your heart. The goal is not to learn, but just being present, receiving what is intended for you.

Your Homework, better said "Heartwork," is to listen to your context of love. First receive the message then: Step 1: Assume everyone is doing the best that they can. Step 2: What are they trying to say? What is the message? How can I hear that from a place of love? What is underneath it. Step 3: If it is not clear then clarify, try to get the message clear.

Share love, spread love, be love!

In This Episode You Will Learn: The importance of love yourself, love others and love the path.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

How do we access loving? What are we?

What if I am not what I always thought I was, so what could I be?

Key Insights and Ahas:

Why not win in your own fantasy?

Monika and Jan Zands bring the topic of how to be nicer, compassionate, and loving to yourself, and this may help to reach towards the goals you have set for yourself.

But regardless that there is no politics discussions in Mindset Academy, Jan and Monika felt the urge to talk about the upset that is all over the continent regarding politics. The question is: How can we interact on this planet to create more loving interactions?

People are currently outraged. In this session Monika and Jan acknowledge the fact that our physical round is immersed in politics, and this creates a powerful opportunity..

Upsets are blessings, they give us hints and clues for us to take care of what needs to be attended in our lives. Upsets are access to healing, but we are not seeking the upset, we are seeking the opportunity.

People are furious about opinions, but we are not getting together to take action and make differences.There is upset about the situation, but basically about the others.

What do we do with UPSETS?

Follow these ACTION STEPS to transform an upset:

1. I am upset because… (don´t try to suppress your upset by thinking: "I shouldn't be upset!")

2. Answer with what happened (physical round, don't add any interpretation yet.)

3. What is your interpretation of what happened? (Mental round)

4. How did you feel about it? (Emotional round)

5. What was the judgement about the situation?

6. How this feeling relates in how you are treating and feeling about yourself.

This is an opportunity to grow and follow your purpose!

The meaning you gave to what happened is not real, the interpretation you gave can be changed. Assumptions are not real, and feelings can be questioned too. Where are feelings coming from? How is this feeling serving you? Feelings show unresolved material that requires healing.

Ask yourself: What is true? What am I creating?

The perspective you have can serve you differently, and you can shift your perspective.

A new perspective create new results.

In This Episode You Will Learn: How to acknowledge and transform your upsets into opportunities.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• ● Are you suppressing your upsets?
• ● Are you accepting your "falls" as part of the learning process?
• ● Are you being nice to yourself?

Lesson of the episode: We create the voice in our head, chose the one that serves you better!

Monika and Jan Zands would like to share with you tools to prepare your mindset and get ready for what life is going to bring to you. They invite you to question yourself about: How often in life do you think you already know what the other is going to say? How often do you feel you know what the other is going to say and you stop listening and start planning the responses? Are you really present?  What does "being present" actually mean?

Pay attention when you are "fast forwarding " people this often has to do with judgement.

Looking it from a different perspective, this time in terms of effectiveness, how often you interrupt a simple task to do something different without achieving that simple task.

Jan proposes DONE! as the word of the month. Which means paying attention, not simply getting things done but having awareness of things that are pulling us off track. Sometimes it is hard to identify the obstacles and distraction.

Matter changes just by observing it, so when you have awareness about something it changes.

Jan brings an analogy of when you are on a computer and running several programs at the same time, a lot of energy and mental energy is taken by this multiplicity of tasks running in parallel.

Monika thinks about how the people in general nowadays are looking to "pause,"  by meditation and new age methods for example, in order to be more present.

The voice in our head is what often gets us distracted. Exercise by closing your eyes and try not to listen to the voice in your head.

What is actually "the voice in your head"? The Untethered Soul is a book that helps us in this process of discovery. The voice in your head helps you interpret what happens around you (along with our senses); an interpretation based in our past or in what we want from the future. Sometimes it is not only interpreting but even having conversations!

How do we have the voice in our head to serve us? We create it! It does not exist other than in our heads. Realize that voice is your head is not you! Your voice is loving, sweet and nurturing.

The purpose of the voice is to help us survive, it drives us to do more of what we are supposed to be doing.

A second exercise is to bring back something that causes upset, it doesn't have to be a great thing.The voice in our head often tries to "protect" us, even when it is not nice. We love all the voices in our heads! Even the nasty ones! They are all trying to serve us. There are nicer voices too, others that encourage us. We control the voices in our heads! Which one works better for you?

In This Episode You Will Learn: To become aware to the voice in your head.

Consider/Ask Yourself: What is the voice in your head telling you? What is that voice protecting you from? Are there other voices?

Key Insights and Ahas:

Become aware of the constant voices in your head.

How are the voices in your head serving you?

You can shift your perspective to a nicer/more loving voice in your head.

Action Steps:

1. Awareness of the voice in your head.

2. How you are interpreting the world through the voice in your head?

3. How does it serve you?

4. Learn to guide yourself toward the voice that helps you better.

Resources:

The Untethered Soul

Monika and Jan Zands start this session by commenting on a powerful message they received from KHAN academy, a website for children that offers free educational resources. It commented about the concept of Intelligence as building a muscle, and how it grows not by doing repetitive easy tasks but rather embracing challenges in which we can fail. In this passage it was stated that there are two possible mindsets: Fixed (concentrate in tasks that have high chances of success) and Growth (take challenges and assume risks).

The process is the most important for growing, so pricing the process is to reinforce the effort instead of the result.Your brain grows in the process orientation rather than in the search/reach of the outcome or goals.

Jan and Monika come back to the monthly topic of  "Your perspective is your reality."  Things are the way they are, but we can shift how we can perceive them and how we relate to those events.

The First thing is to have an awareness that you have your own perspective. Perception shifts a lot. The information you are receiving is creating your reality. You get to chose your perspective, you are not a victim o a different side, there is a reason why you have your perspective.

If you want to change your perspective you can start by going through these points:

1. Hearing: Question from which context you are hearing from?

2. Listening: Listening is the active part of disengagement. We can chose what we are listening to.

3. Process: What are your processes? Become more aware of the process you are engaging yourself into. Are you designing the life you want?

4. Applying: Create changes that can contribute to shift your perspective,

There will be the next four steps to be explored in the next session! Work on these steps and get ready for even more awareness and expansion.

Are you feeling upset? Is there a different way in which you can relate to what is happening? Shift your perspective!

You can keep on learning at Monika consulting site.

Jan and Monika have been discussing topics every month, and this month the theme is "Your Perspective is your reality."

The mission of Monika is for people to know they are loved and loving, at least for a moment in their lifetime. There is nothing you need to be doing in order to deserve love.

Our natural way of being is loving; violence and hate come from a disconnection from our true  way of being.

You can find a gift in everything, everyone that interacts with you is providing you the opportunity of learning, you are also a gift for everyone that is interacting with you. It is not up to you how the world receives what you give, it is "how" you give it what matters.

- First: Just be aware that you are operating in this life with a perspective. You are wearing "glasses"; everything is being tinted by your perspective.

- Second: What is your perspective? You have many perspectives for different things and situations. It can change, and you created them.

- Third: Lots of perspectives can serve you at one time, and stop serving you.

- Fourth: You get to create a perspective that serves you in a better way (next week we'll go deeper into this concept)

When you are looking for something the universe will give you all sort of ways to prove you are right.

Whatever happens in your life is as big as you make it.

Consider whatever you are experiencing right now as a gift.

To the degree that someone express their anger/rage it is a proportionate capability of giving love, is the passion that matters.

What does personal development really mean? It is the work, the experience, not just receiving the information. Start to put it into practice by exercising with Monika and Jan about what are your perspectives about love, money, politics, life, death, people, religion, feelings, consciousness…

Our perspective on different topics is constantly shifting. A lot of our perspectives can come from times when we are very young, and they are still shaping your perspective now, maybe it is not even your perspective. Perspectives shift in numerous ways. Question yourself: What is your perspective intended for?

The universe will give you lots of evidence that what you are looking for is right; you can create a perspective that serves you better. Start by becoming aware of your perspectives and realizing how are they serving you. Monika and Jan will lead you.

Monika and Jan Zands lead you into the final week of "Your Way is not the only way." Their purpose is to spread love on the planet by recognizing people's uniqueness, and this week the topic Monika and Jan are diving into is "Control."

Control is usually related to desire, but things do not always turn out the way you want. What is the most desirable outcome? How can we surrender?  What does Control mean to you?

How do you judge something? Sometimes you consider an experience to be the worst, and then time shows you that the experience had a meaning to you, and turned out to be just perfect for you.

The miracle of life is really to understand that the way we see things is only a minimum expression of the plan that is set for us; by letting go, we are surrendering to the universe's flow.

Where are you controlling? When do you think the "control" is needed? Love is usually behind the control, but it might not be the best way to achieve what you want. That "should," that you project on others around you, and how things are supposed to happen, that is what control feels like.

Practice along with Monika and Jan, by giving a list of areas that you think you can control, expose yourself, defy your certainties.

Jan himself opens up to express how he perceives the control, even during the session while talking about control. We all experience this tendency to control, feeling that our worth is in the outcome we were expecting to follow. Freedom is to find the opportunity that is presented to learn from.

There is nothing that you can do entirely by yourself; you cannot exist without the interaction and relationship with others and everything around you. So pretending that control is something you can really execute, is actually an illusion.

In a world of co-creation, we are giving up control. How do we balance control, in order to surrender, but at the same time have a purpose and a mission, in a world of co-creation?

Monika gives the listeners a breakdown of the process from Control to Surrender:

• Life does not have to be lived "either or."
• Listen to your inner dialogue for a clue to the outer work.
• Ask yourself daily, "Am I Free?" and if you don´t feel free in a certain area, then, "What is needed?" Seek for other ways of doing things.
• Everything that is happening is supposed to serve you, live each experience fully, learn from them!
• We often feel exhausted because we have the feeling we are doing it all by ourselves, and that is for the illusion of being in control. Let go! Surrender!