Have you ever wondered what was normal in a certain situation.  I often have, because in my household growing up, there were very few stable patterns of behavior - everything was unpredictable.

Yes, no, black or white, for me or against me.  Any of that sound familiar?  Either you agreed with me, or I would have to make you a bad person in my mind to defend my position.  I have learned to respect the opinions of others, and sometimes "agree to disagree."

Have you ever found yourself lying about something when there was really no reason to do so?  As a child, if I admitted to anything, it could lead to a negative and painful consequence.  I learned to always deny knowing anything.

Have you ever found yourself defending someone who is taking advantage of you? I had a friend who would call every time he needed some help with his house.  But he was never around when I needed something.  I had to decide my time was worth more than that.

Has it ever felt like you struggled to finish things - an assignment at work, a fixit project at home? As a child, I learned that things just never got finished where you could enjoy them.  I continued that logic into adulthood.

Is there something inside you that makes you sense that if you talk about what's going on with you, it will lead to bad things? I had to learn all over how to talk about what happened and what was happening, and how I felt about it.

Do you ever let people get close, and then it feels like they're too close, and you push them away? I would even create fights with someone after we'd gotten close. I had to realize that not everyone was dangerous and threatening.

Have you ever felt like you were out of step with the world around you?  I remember being at a church retreat with 70 people, and here I was, somehow separated and different from the others in the group.

Have you ever been told you're controlling?  I was told that, and didn't like it, but as I started looking at how I was living in my world, I discovered it was true. I was trying to control today's events like I couldn't control the alcoholic family of my teenage years.

Have you ever been told you overreact to things?  I've heard that a lot, because things that happened in my world all seemed out of proportion or scarier than they actually were.