Father, I am nobody

Lord, I am no match for the schemes of the evil one.

Overpowered by the resistance flowing through the multitudes.

Unable to take matters as far as my foes are willing to, in order to get what they want.

At least not without losing the most precious thing that I have, Which is you, my Lord!

And why sacrifice the most for the least?Father, I'm sure there's someone smarter, stronger, wiser & mightier than me.

Many Actually

Oh Father, but if you go with me..

Lord, if you are for me, who can be against me?

What human scheme could ever overcome your divine intervention?

No human might could ever match the almighty one.The Most High!

No cunning mind could ever prevail against your powerful, omnipotent Spirit.

Lord! May your internal Presence be stronger than the external pressures.

Father, all I ask is for you to come and be with me, regardless of where that may be.

Lord, if you don't go, let me stay.

Father, if it's not you behind it, I don't want it.

God, I'd rather go through the valley of the shadows of death with you,Than climb to the highest mountain by myself.

O lord, have mercy on me & my pleas, and with your Spirit & Favor back up the internal sensations, and words that I utter through the stirring of your Spirit.

Lord, thank you for having found favor in your eyes.Father, thank you for your blessings bestowed upon me.You were the one who formed me, designed me, and engineered me.Before my conceptionYou had already blessed me with glorious purposeYou gave me a name,You granted me my family & loved ones.You determined my Personality,You gifted me with my talents,And now you're forming and molding my Character.May I be an effective weapon in your hands,May I be a useful instrument in your orchestra,May I be wise enough to present to you what you have given to me."May the Lamb Recieve his reward in me."

For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations.

His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility.

-Ephesians 2:14-16

Ain't it funny how we have managed to segregate by denominations the new and unified humanity he came down to create through his sacrifice on the cross?

At a certain point in time, it was "Jew & Gentiles", then we went with "Apollo's or Paul's", nowadays "Catholic or Protestant, Baptist or Pentecostal."

How encrypted must division be in our fallen and wicked nature, yet how much peace and unity can be brought through his spirit.

Oh Unity! How strong, yet how fragile are you. Let us not despise and reject the whole plot of the movie. Bringing peace and breaking the walls of division, separation, and hostility is the whole reason why the main character came here to die for.

Everything else comes from the opposing resistance, the contradicting adversary. Let us not get fooled.

For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved."

-Romans 10:10

More than a mere organ, the Bible refers to "the heart" as what we would call our mind or consciousness.

Our behavior and conduct are measured by the effect our actions produce, and our actions are an expression of what is in our mind, serving as the ultimate seal or proof of our deepest convictions.

Scripture says both life and death, creation or destruction, are born in our "hearts" (Proverbs 4:23, Matt 15:19), meaning whatever effect or influence we have in our lives and the world around us is a product of what we decide to put into action.

These actions and decisions will come from what we're storing and treasuring in our minds (hearts), which will ultimately testify about what we truly believe in.

In other words, it's the walk you're walking, and how you are conducting yourself that will ultimately reflect what you truly believe in your heart (mind), and it is believing in Jesus' sacrifice within your heart that will justify in the end.

However, how selfish would it be to find a treasure so valuable & precious as eternal life and hoard it for ourselves without sharing it with others? Is it because of selfish ambition or shame of association, maybe?

Talking the talk without walking the walk might seem contradictory to others and create cognitive dissonance within us, but just walking the walk without talking the talk may also indicate altered motives and a weak belief rather than a deep level of conviction, leaving us vulnerable to inconsistency and hindering us from spreading and being associated with Christ and his kingdom, which should be our #1 priority.

Believing in your heart will reflect and show others Christ through you, but declaring him with your mouth will affirm his sovereignty over you.

The Lord is my Light

Father forgive me for using your light for my own glory.

Lord your light brings favor.

Your light brings abundance & prosperity.

It's appealing to the eye.

It brings an audience to itself.

Oh lord, but the darkness..

The darkness within..

So cunning, prideful, conceited, corrupted, and deceiving wishes to take advantage of the fruit of the light and use it for its advancement, benefiting its purpose and desires.

As your light makes itself manifest, the darkness within makes itself present, intending to bring its own agenda to the table, to carry it out in spite of the light and even take advantage of it

As your light glows before Men to testify of your glory, the darkness within is always awaiting, always trying to get a hold of control, always expecting: to be given a foothold, to corrupt the intended purpose of the light and bring dishonor to your name.

Lord, what is any man that can withhold your majesty, who would ever be worthy of bearing the light, your light?

Yet you created mankind with the sole purpose of manifesting it.

You chose man, weak, mortal, defiled & corrupt, as your vessel of preference among all your creation to carry out your light.

Oh God! My Lord & Father, My Master & Creator, My dear beloved friend

Help me!

Please help me steward your light for the purpose it was given, for the intended outcome:

To bring glory and honor to your name, to testify of your power and goodness.

"You're in it with me, working through me, fighting for me"

-God is not against me, Elevation Worship

Why is it so easy for me to grasp God's divinity and accept him as the creator of the Universe, yet so hard to also recognize him as my father, and a father who truly cares for me?

Those moments where I fell short and messed up badly.Having him on my lips yet my heart being so far away from him. While getting to the end of myself, wanting to go back to the house of the father I once knew, but aware of my filth.

My reason and understanding acknowledge the laws of cause and effect, The principles of sowing and reaping, action and reaction, conviction and sentencing, which are apparently easier to grasp than the depth and essence of a good father's love for his son.

A genuine love weighted with care, worry, and even disappointment, nevertheless desperate not to enforce punishment, but to have his son back to keep guarding and protecting him with his guidance wisdom & instruction from the evil forces operating in this world, and the wickedness that's within him.

As I approach him as a humbled servant seeking nothing more than restoration, feeling ashamed, and unworthy to ask for anything. Judging and condemning myself, In a way even crying out for justice and punishment upon myself.

All I hear, all I see, and all I feel: is your love, mercy, and grace; being rubbed in my face & shoved down my throat.

You're an omnipotent creator, and a loving father altogether at the same time.

Oh, Yahweh! My Lord & Father, my favorite and most beloved mystery.

I'm in deep cheese

"Take me deeper" I asked the lord.

With my focus on his love & mercy,

Not fully aware of his holiness

"Give me more." Again, I asked the lord.

With my gaze on his grace and favor,

Without a complete understanding of his righteousness.(still)

Disregarding the responsibility of the rights I wasdemanding.

My eyes fixed on his glory,

Yet my heart without proper acknowledgement of hisperfection.

Lost in the passion of my devotion, Unaware of the price& the duty.

Lord, you have both blessed & burdened me with yourspirit.

How satisfying is it to feel & experience your favor andthe external manifestation of your spirit?

Yet: how burdensome can the pursuit of holiness &righteousness, through the admonishment and exhortation of the internalmanifestation of your holy spirit, be for such a wicked, broken, fallen, &conceited nature like mine.

Father, thank you!

For making a way for me to get to you, through your spirit,by the sacrifice of your Beloved Son.

I couldn't and wouldn't ever make my way to heaven.

Lord, thank you!

For making your way to earth to come meet me, to carry me,and take me back with you in a way I would've never been able to do it myself.

God, thank you!

For making the yoke easier through your son Christ Jesus.

To his name be all glory, honor, power & dominionforever! Amen.

                                                Counterculture

It does not, therefore, depend on human desire or effort,but on God's mercy

-Romans 9:16

We've been taught culturally to "work hard", "Outwork your competition" (Many times fighting against those whom we should be fighting for.) "Be the hardest worker in the room."

Jesus said that God, our Father in Heaven, already knowsevery single one of our needs and the resources necessary to carry out his will in our lives and the purpose we are called to.

Focusing and striving for these things (desires, needs &ambitions) is something pagans do, but we, as children of God, should focus on his kingdom & righteousness, The revelation of these two in our hearts, to be able to orient our actions towards an active pursuit and advancement ofthem, and that out of this perspective & approach in our lives journey all things needed (Spiritually, Intellectually, Emotionally & Materially) for this purpose will flow, while every single one of our personal needs will be met alongside with it. (Matthew 6:32-33)

Striving for our own ambitions, "hustling hard," and relying on our own strength, might, and capability can be a vane, superficial, and futile waste of energy, time, and resources.

God does get pleased, takes honor, and calls us to be strongand courageous, but whenever he is alongside us in our endeavors. (Joshua 1:9)

"We might have the proper attitude and correct approachbut on the wrong assignment for inadequate reasons." As I heard my pastor say.

Let us come to a place of full surrender, where we relymainly & primarily on his grace & mercy, his guidance and instruction, and an alignment with his will to be able to access his power.

It is not in our power and might that he works best, it's not in our striving, but in our weakness expressed through vulnerability towards him that his power works best.

(2 Corinthians 12:9)

When we get to the place of recognition that: his mercy& grace are sufficient & will overtake us and deliver us from any and every situation, that: there's nothing intrinsic in me that will carry me through, but is him alone, and whatever strength or courage I might want to bring to the table, should be focused in striving only in being aligned with his will revealed & manifested through his spirit.

We are not sufficient, his grace is.

Let us, therefore, rely on his mercy, not on our efforts ordesires.

Lord, allow me to come before you in an honest, open, and authentic way.

Please help me do it through my Spirit, leaving my flesh on the other side of the door.

Or no, Father, Better yet, allow me to come boldly before your throne with my full humanity.

Let me bring all of what I think, Everything that I feel, and all that I am before you.

Just help me do it without any hidden agenda, without any secret motives other than to pour myself into you.

Lord, let me fully pour myself before you, and as I do that, pour your Spirit fully into me.

Father, help me make sense of what I'm feeling.Help me put it into understandable words.Help me express it with a clear utterance to share it with others so that they may be edified through it.

Father, may you receive glory with and through everything, even through my nonsense

My inexplicable feelings & incomprehensible sensations

Lord, I'm young with my whole life ahead of me, a long distance before me with many miles to walk still.

The influence of culture is increasing day by day.

Its direction, from you, headed further and further away

And I, personally realizing more and more of my helplessness without you.

My dependence on your Spirit becoming greater and greater.

Lord, as I take a peek into the world, common customs and culture, I feel a certain heaviness.

For the presence of your spirit is always before me, and your written code inscribed within me.

Yet my mind reasons and understands the appeal and effect that secular escapism & natural entertainment have on the mortal man, whether to the soul or the flesh, who knows?

But I get it, I've been a part of it, having once indulged in it.Actually, not once, nor twice, but many innumerable times

I've tried, tasted & touched all this world has offered me outside of you, not even wrong in essence, just simply not in you.

I've even lost myself in it, chasing it, to what I thought was a point of no return.

So why? Why, as I just take a glance (without taking part in it) in what once made me feel heightened and ecstatic, all I feel is a certain heaviness?

Why does what once felt like entertainment now feels just like a distraction?

Why what made me feel whole and content at the moment of engaging in it, now feels like it's draining me?

What filled me, now empties me, but at the same time as I empty myself, I get filled completely when I do it before you..

Have I tasted something better? A stronger substance?

Lord, is there no recovery after trying you, and taking a hit of your spirit?

Out of all I've tried and had, are you the substance that causes the greatest dependence?

If it is, Lord help me build a strong tolerance to this world & culture, to my perversion & depravity.

Will everything become tasteless now after tasting you?

If it does, then give me a deep hunger & thirst for delighting in you.

Is consuming the world's entertainment cluttering to the spirit, just as processed food is to the body?

If it is, then lord help me have proper nutrition.

As doubts rush in my head, uttering "This is how the world is and you're in it whether you like it or not"

There's a gentle whisper that answers simultaneously, "Maybe you just don't belong in it."

Is this what being a slave to righteousness mean?

Choosing the chase

I chased pleasure, looking for enjoyment,

To find out you're the source of all joy.

I chased money for provision,

Now, I realize your provision is part of my mission.

I chased my dreams looking for fulfillment,

Turns out you're full and filled me.

I pursued knowledge to get understanding,

But all I need to know is you and i still don’t understand you.

I turned to substances for healing & supernatural experiences

When you offer supernatural healing through our experiences with you.

I wanted status for assurance,

To realize true confidence is only achieved when deposited in you.

I chased prestige looking for influence,

But all I need is your influence in me.

I looked for connections to get power,

to realize power comes from above and is released when I get connected to your Spirit.

I chased relationships, looking for love,

And turns out God is love.

I tried working the hardest to get a position,

It turns out you position me to then work hard on what you called me to.

I wanted to build myself up to be powerful for you,

But you've broken me down for your power to work best through my weakness.

I wanted to make a move to influence the outcome,

But all you needed was for me to move out of the way.

I once wrongfully thought you called me for my perfection.

When, actually, I was called to be perfected.

I don’t need to be seen, It doesn’t need to be fair, all I need is for you to be with me.